I did it; I let Riku go I did it; I let Riku go. Not that night but much later, and what we feared had happened. We were pulled apart from within the darkness and I was alone. The numbness I felt was unreal, it was as if someone had stolen from my lungs. My eyes never seeing, my skin never feeling, all of my senses have failed me. I threw myself into this pit of nothingness to save him from myself. I walked around these new primacies like a phantom, a black shadow with no direction. Wrapped up in black from head to toe, blending in with everyone around me. Axel would check up on me from time to time, but it was as if I had become a nobody with a heart. I watched Riku from a distance watching him change and embrace his darkness as Maleficent fed him lies with a silver spoon. He gladly did her bidding without any thought. The Riku I had once known was simply gone. I began to shadow Zexion; he never seemed to mind since I was so silent. Maybe he felt as sorry as he could for me. His lack of heart made him shy, but nonetheless we kept good company in our silence. I'd wait for him while he did his dirty work, and when he was finished we would sit around staring at nothing in particular, sometimes each other. We just liked the each other's presence. Riku, when not tied up with Maleficent's biddings, would watch us watching each other. Envy radiated off of his every orifice; he hated me for leaving him. Why did I do it? Why would I leave someone who I knew I could always trust? Simple, because he was loosing his heart too, it was a selfish decision. Watching his heart dissolve from a distance was easier than wanting him to still love me with a shattered, unfixable, heart. I waited for the moment Maleficent would send Riku after me. Would she have him simply kill me, or would she have him rip my pathetic heart from my frail chest? The clock ticked as time raced on. I wondered about Sora, and if he had found Kairi yet. Were they happy, were they together? More importantly, would I ever see them alive again? Zexion watched me spiral into a world of my own darkness as depression ate away at my heart. Less and less did my ruby shine, but fade and tarnish to an ugly orange. Would it eventually glow black, just like the rest of the heartless? One night Zexion's did something unexpected. The sun had just set and we were sitting in our usual spots on a balcony faced toward a sea; I was sitting the edge with my legs dangling over the side of the railing. He was sitting with his back against a wall behind and to the left of me. Zexion stood, walked to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in, hugging me from behind in an awkward embrace. Once he let go I turned towards him staring in amazement. "I-I-I have no idea what just came over me," Zexion muttered "I just-" I hopped off the railing next to him, wrapped my arms around him, looked up at him, and for once I truly smiled. Zexion picked me up and spun me around in a circle like a little child I giggled in delight. He set me down and I embraced him once again. "Thank you," I said with true admiration "Thank you so much Zexion, I really needed that." It wasn't much, just the simplest of things make you realize that you are alive and still breathing even if it feels like you're breathing underwater. From that moment on I was my old self, I think I even saw a smile creep across Zexion's face once or twice, but it could have just been the light that night. It was just at the moment, but as the days and weeks passed I began to realize that I was missing something, something that was my entirety within itself; Riku. It seemed as if Riku had forgotten me all together. It's funny how the simplest thing as a tight embrace awakes one from the deepest of depression, because from then on I was no longer the walking dead. Riku had stayed loyally at Maleficent's side waiting for his next duty as her human pet. I could no longer watch from a distance, and that's when I realized how much of his heart was truly gone. I lazed around waiting for Riku to return from his usual deeds. He returned around midnight, I had fallen asleep, and the portal ripping though the air awoke me. The static made my hair go on end and sent shivers through my spine; something I would never become accustomed to. I gathered myself before he stepped through the electrifying portal, and there he stood in front of me staring straight through me. "Riku-"I was at a loss for words "You've changed" was all I could come out with. He nodded and stepped past me. I grabbed his left arm, and he froze with his back still to me. "What has happened to you Riku? She's lying to you and-" he snapped his arm from my shaking hands. "I don't want to hear it" his voice stern with hate "just leave me alone Miku, I don't need you anymore." "Don't need me?" my voice quivered like a child's lower lip "what do you mean?" "I just-" he sighed out of frustration "I just don't – just go away!" his back was still turned to me, but even from this angle I could tell that he was holding back his true feelings, and with his hands in strong fists, he stormed off leaving to wallow in my own suffering. Had Maleficent done this, or did he choose to do this on his own because I let him go first? It's still blurry as to why I left Riku in the first place. Was it the fading of his heart, or was it because I longed to see Sora and Kairi alive and well? No matter the reason, I had left Riku when he needed me most, or was that now? Maleficent was controlling his mind and his actions, and he wasn't his self any longer. Did I do this?