Chapter I: Ill-fated Returns
Peyton dropped her keys on the table by the door and pulled Andrew, Andy as he liked to be called, close against her body. The door closed behind him and she pressed him back against while kissing him passionately.
They tugged at each other's clothing, somehow finding their way to her bedroom while still entangled. They crashed onto her bed with wide smiles and looks of unbridled lust.
"So," Andy began looking up at Peyton. "How does this work?"
Peyton unbuttoned the rest of her shirt and tossed it aside. While straddling his waist, she leaned down with a seductive but cold smile. "We enjoy tonight and never see each other again. If you can't do that, maybe you should leave now."
She stilled the hands that had been undoing his jeans and started to move away from him but he stopped her.
"That's fine with me," he replied.
Peyton smiled and resumed her task of trying to fill the void with no-strings attached sex. She leaned closer and kissed him; taking note before closing her eyes, that Andy's eyes were not the same clear blue as Lucas'.
It was a hot day in Tree Hill when Peyton Sawyer returned home. The sun hung right in the middle of the sky with very few clouds in the sky. She watched the sky from behind the dark lenses of her sunglasses waiting for Brooke's plane to land, wondering why the sky seemed brighter here in Tree Hill than in LA.
She loved LA, and would miss it terribly, but nothing compared to Tree Hill. No feelings of loss could compare to the adventurous feelings of embarking on a new journey. Nothing could erase her past… she could only make the future brighter.
"Well, if it isn't Peyton Sawyer, big time music executive," she heard a raspy voice behind her and turned around slowly with a smile. Brooke stood behind her looking as chic as ever with an equally large grin. "Aren't you personally and solely responsibly for four of the acts currently rounding out the top 5 on Billboard?"
Peyton feigned disinterest. "Yes, yes, that's me." Her grin grew. "Aren't you, Brooke Davis, the head of a multi-million dollar fashion company that is changing the face of the fashion industry?"
Brooke also feigned disinterest. "Yes."
They laughed and rushed to each other, wrapping each other in a tight embrace. This was the first time the best friends have seen each other in months but it felt like an eternity had passed between then and now.
Brooke was the first to pull away. Just far enough to look at Peyton while still holding on to her. "You look good, P. Sawyer," she observed with tears in her eyes.
Peyton nodded with a smile. "So do you, Brooke."
They stayed that way for just a moment more. Neither woman wanting to break the embrace, but neither speaking the words they truly wanted to say. "Come on," Peyton said finally. "Let's get out of here." She moved to Brooke's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "The last thing you need is some crazy paparazzi snapping pictures of you hugging another woman. Can't you just see the headline: 'Fashionista in secret love affair with another woman?'"
Brooke frowned slightly. "Can you imagine Victoria's face when she sees the picture?"
Peyton winced. "How did Mommy Dearest take the news of your vacation?"
A positively wicked grin crossed Brooke's red lips. "I didn't tell her."
Peyton shook her head as they headed for the door. "She's going to hunt you down like a dog."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Peyton and Brooke sat in a restaurant on the waterfront nearly four hours after their return home. She planned to buy a house from a woman who was currently selling it but Brooke beat her too it. The brunette told her to consider it a really big birthday present.
Apparently, Brooke told the woman she would pay her more money if she were out in an hour and could leave all the furniture. Peyton had to admire her best friend. When Brooke Davis wanted something….
They talked for hours while calling various assistants and friends to have their things shipped to Tree Hill. Peyton adamantly tried to convince Brooke to return to New York, to go on with the life that she had created, but Brooke would have none of it. She told Peyton that as long as she was in Tree Hill, she wasn't going anywhere.
Peyton stopped arguing after that. Brooke was just as stubborn as always.
"So," Brooke began to Peyton after the waiter took their order and left. "What's next in this big master plan?"
"I'm thinking of starting my own label," Peyton answered after sipping her water. She saw Brooke's eyes light up at the prospect. "It's just a thought, Brooke. I'm not certain that I want to do that yet."
"Why not?" Brooke asked. "You'd be great at it, Peyton. It's what you've always wanted."
"Yeah," she said dejectedly. "I wanted a lot of things four years ago that I'll never have now."
"Peyton," Brooke reached over and touched her hand gently. She didn't know what to say that wouldn't patronize her friend, nor could she find the words to ease her pain. "How are you feeling… really?"
"I'm tired," Peyton answered. "I was sick last night but felt fine this morning. You know… some days are better than others." She smiled as best and as warmly as she could. "Today's a good day. It's a great day."
Brooke nodded silently. Observing how thin Peyton had got since the last time she saw her. Her green eyes shined brightly against her olive skin, a reflection of the blonde's determination.
"What did Jeff say when you told him you were leaving?"
"He told me that as long as I follow protocol, I'll be fine." She saw the look Brooke gave her and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I've been following protocol."
Brooke sighed with relief, but not much. The waiter placed their plates in front of them and she waited until he left before speaking again. "Do you want to go around and see everyone today?"
"Everyone like?" Peyton asked, she hitched an eyebrow. Brooke had an agenda and made no moves to conceal it.
"Haley, Nathan and Jamie. I really want to see how Nathan is getting on after his accident," Brooke answered innocently.
Peyton felt bad for their old friend. Nathan Scott was injured in a bar fight a few months ago was paralyzed. They were told he was doing much better now… whether he could see it or not. Maybe she could be some help to him now.
"Then there is Mouth and Skills," Brooke continued down the 'must see' list.
"And Lucas…" Peyton supplied, knowing that was truly who Brooke wanted to mention. "Brooke, I'm not going to search him out."
"I'm not saying that," Brooke defended. "I'm not saying that we'll stop eating and run to him…unless of course you think it'd do some good?" Peyton shook her head. "I didn't think so. All I'm saying is make it a point to let him know you're in town before someone else tells him. Don't want him to think you're avoiding him."
"I don't… really care what Lucas thinks, Brooke. Or how he finds out that I'm in town. I mean, it's not like he told me he was going to leave me in a hotel room." Peyton sipped her water slowly. Her heart rated increased thinking about how much that hurt and she felt as though the rough beats would break her chest.
"Boys are stupid," Brooke said. "Even more so when their feelings are hurt."
Peyton didn't have a chance to respond. A short brunette walking with a taller, slender brunette and a small blond child came upon their table.
"Oh. My. God." Haley James-Scott said, her gaze going back and forth between her two old friends.
Brooke and Peyton smiled, Peyton in spite of herself, and they all stood and greeted each other.
"When did you guys get back?" Haley asked.
"Today," Brooke replied.
"For how long?"
"Indefinitely," Peyton answered, eyeing the other woman. She seemed to be staring at Peyton uncomfortably. They recognized each other.
Haley caught sight of this and flustered. "Oh, I'm sorry. Brooke, Peyton… this is Lindsey Strauss. Lucas' editor." That wasn't all she was, Peyton knew. Haley picked Jamie up in her arms and introduced him as well.
They exchanged pleasantries for a few more moments before Haley, Jamie and Lindsey were seated at their table. Brooke and Peyton sat down and resumed their lunches. They ate in silence for a long while.
"Guess we don't have to worry about Lucas knowing you're in town anymore." Brooke said.
Peyton rolled her eyes. She had more things to worry about than Lucas.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The night sky was far more beautiful in Tree Hill than it was in LA. Standing on the River court, Peyton couldn't help but look up at the thousands of stars that littered the sky. They were so big and bright; Peyton wanted to reach out and touch them, to capture one or write her name across the sky with them.
She looked down at the names, her name and the names of all her friends, which they spray-painted four years ago. The lettering was faded but she could make it out. It seemed like many lifetimes ago to her now. She touched her name with a sad smile before standing.
She turned to leave and found Lucas standing behind her. Both pairs of eyes grew wide with shock. Haley obviously didn't get a chance to tell Lucas she was back in town.
"Lucas," Peyton breathed out his name. All the anger and hurt of that night in LA and the morning after faded away at the sight of him. Disappearing like a puff of smoke revealing the true beat of her heart. She started to rush to him for an embrace but he stepped back.
"I'm with someone now," he said quietly.
Peyton's smile faltered. He couldn't even say hello to her after all this time. "I know. I saw her this afternoon. She's beautiful."
Lucas wasn't sure if it were the sound of her heart beating loudly or that of his own that drowned out every other sound but her voice. Seeing her again, all long legs and tanned arms, made him ache for years past. Made him remember what it was like falling in love with her the first time. However, the memory of her turning down his proposal accompanied the good memories.
"What are you doing here?" he asked finally.
"I moved back home," she answered, noting how distant he tried to remain. "With Brooke."
Lucas shook his head. He couldn't believe this. Couldn't believe that she was standing before him after three years. Couldn't believe that she would just suddenly turn up when he finally moved past all the hurt and anger. When he was finally happy with someone else.
"Why did you come back, Peyton?" he asked, his anger getting the best of him. The anger he'd held on to for three years.
"I just…" she looked confused.
"No, I mean now. Why now? Why after all this time? Why after everything did you come back to town… now!"
"Not because of you if that's what you're thinking," she told him, her green eyes burning with a furious blaze. She looked at him and scoffed. "You do think that, you arrogant bastard!" Lucas looked hurt, but Peyton continued. "My world doesn't revolve around you, Lucas Scott."
"Obviously," he said.
"Oh, no. You do not get to play victim for walking out and leaving me in a hotel room. You couldn't even say goodbye to me!"
"I asked you to marry me and you said no, what was I supposed to do?"
"Wait!" she yelled. Her stomach churned and she felt sick, but her anger kept it at bay. She started to sweat and her breathing grew shallow. "You could have at least said goodbye."
Lucas stood there silently. He didn't know what to say. Didn't know if his anger had subsided enough for him to speak again at all.
"I didn't come here to fight with you," she whispered. "I am glad you're here now though. I have something to say."
He didn't know what urged him to want to know what she had to say, only that it was the most propelling urge he had ever experienced.
"Like I said, I didn't come home for you," a tear slipped down her cheek. "I came home…" her voice trailed off when images of the life she wanted with Lucas played before her eyes. Their wedding, the birth of their children, their growing old together. A bitter and powerful sob escaped her lips as the realization of never having those things set in once more. "I'm sick, Lucas."
Lucas did step close to her then. He reached out to touch her but it was she who stepped back this time. She held up a hand to stop him from advancing further. "I'm really sick." She could feel the nausea in the pit of her stomach. It buckled her knees but she forced herself to stand. She forced herself to be brave.
"I can take you home. Where are you staying?"
"No," she choked out and forced her eyes to meet his. "I'm dying, Lucas," she admitted softly. Lucas looked as though all the wind had been knocked from him. Before her eyes, played their past, the good and the bad, and the things yet to come. She needed to tell him some other things as well. Things he really needs to know. But she had to start with this. "I came home to die."
