CSI: Texas Chronicles: "Decisions"

A/N: Ummm... smut warning? lol, yeah I know, coming from me you're all confused cause I normally don't write it. But it's true. Just read, and let me know what you think!


The dishes were finally clean when Nick left the small stream where he and Greg had spent the day. It had not been a day for working on the cabin. Greg had seen to that the moment he'd woken up in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably in Greg's arms for nearly an hour. His boyfriend had insisted they spend the entire day relaxing by the stream they'd found the afternoon before. Neither of them had said much in the comfortable silence and it felt like a lazy Sunday spent at home when they weren't on call.

Greg wasn't pressing him for details, just like he'd promised, but he was offering all the love, support, and comfort he could, even if he wasn't saying it out loud. Nick had finally been able to decompress and forget about his troubles for awhile and even though his thoughts had eventually returned to his nightmares and why they were out at the ranch instead of their home in Vegas, he felt a little renewed by the time dinner was ready.

Taking the clean dishes and piling them up in his arms he carefully made his way back toward the cabin. When he saw Greg sitting on the top railing of the corral with Cucumber's head only inches away from his, he set the dishes on the cabin steps and went to join him, grabbing a jacket from the tool table when he saw the other man shiver in the fading sunlight.

"Looks like you're getting along," he said, draping the jacket over Greg's shoulders and joining him on the fence.

"She's cool." Greg tightened the coat around him as he combed the mare's forelock with his fingers. "Thanks."

If Greg could face his fears and overcome them, then there was a chance Nick could too. While there was no pressure, in just a few days Greg would have to be on a plane back to Vegas, back to the lab. And Nick knew if he didn't do anything now to help himself, he never would once Greg was gone.

Without thinking, his mouth took over where his heart had trouble, "I used you as an excuse to run away from my problems." Greg turned to face him and his eyes fell to his knees in guilt and embarrassment. "I blamed you in my mind for distracting me at work. But it wasn't just you. It was everyone else. There was an insistence to heal faster and I didn't think I would be able to at all... I'm still not sure. Everyone around me was radiating pity. They felt sorry for me and I couldn't deal with that, even though I know they meant well. Your wanting me to heal was more genuine, I knew it. But I pushed you away because you were the closest to me, the closest thing I could act out on. I didn't want to hurt you in the long run if, years from now, I was still broken. I know you weren't pressuring me like everyone else, but your need was still there. I understood everything you never said."

Greg reached over and took both his hands in his, intertwining their fingers, as hot tears pricked at Nick's eyes.

"I had nightmares before I left... before I left you. I guess you know that. But they were never as bad as they are now." He shuddered at the thought. "I never used to loose you every night. He used to just bury me alive... but after... he started making me listen to the lab blow up... and you didn't survive.

"You never do. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm trapped in that box and I can't save you. I scream and I hit the sides, try to escape, try to make enough noise to block out the sounds, but I can still hear the explosion... I can still hear you whispering my name in the moments before you die, asking why I didn't do something to save you. Did I not love you enough? And... and... the paramedics arrive... but you die anyway. It feels like my whole body is going to break in half every time."

He knew he was beginning to ramble, doing something Greg would do, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe he and Greg were more connected than he'd ever thought if he was suddenly borrowing traits he'd never had before without caring. He leaned into Greg as the other man pulled one hand free to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

Feeling his boyfriend's lips on his skin, lingering over his temple, tears finally fell from his eyes and rolled down his face. A cloud of white dust rose in front of him and it took him a moment to realize it was flour, rising from a broken bag on pavement. His chest tightened at the look on Greg's face through his windshield. It was a look he would never forget, a miserable feeling he would always remember, unable to cry as he'd backed his truck down the driveway and drove away from the one place that had truly been his home away from the ranch. He'd hurt him, hurt the one he loved, the one he'd wanted to spend eternity with, and second chances rarely showed themselves...

Misty trotted over to join the trio and nudged him in the chest, as if to make sure he was ok. But he couldn't let go of Greg to give her a pat on the neck. He needed the physical connection so much and Greg seemed to understand as his grip tightened around him.

"I don't know if I can go back. Not now. Not yet anyway... maybe not ever," he spoke the truth, turning to look into Greg's eyes, hoping he would understand. "If I don't go back to Vegas, or even just my job... I need you to be ok with that."

Greg worried his lips between his teeth a moment or two before he spoke, "you know I am, Nicky. As long as you're ok with it, I can be cool with whatever you decide to do."

"You're the only thing keeping me sane right now. I need you so much. I just don't want to pull you away from your dreams of making it as a CSI."

"Hey, I made it, remember? Or did you forget that party you guys threw me right after? If putting my career on hold for awhile will help you..."

"But I don't know..."

"Honey, even if you decide not to go back to Vegas, that's alright with me. I'll move down here. I'm sure the Dallas PD could use a CSI... or even a DNA tech. I am the best in the country, you know."

"I know, babe, but, you can't work with the Dallas PD. They'll eat you alive when they find out you're gay. I don't want to see you get hurt because of that."

"Then I'll help you out here at the ranch. Just give me a cowboy hat and a lasso and I'll be ready to go."

"You need to know how to ride for that... and even if you could...you still can't move out here permanently with me."

"Why not?" Greg looked indignant.

"Because as much as you try to hide it, I know you're grumbling every morning when you can't fix your hair just the way you want it. There's no amenities out here at all, no running water, no hair gel, just straight living. I think it'll get to you eventually, no matter how much you think it won't."

Greg gave a slow grin then. "If that's all you're worried about, I can change that."

"But I don't want you to change. I like your hair the way you like it because that's who you are."

Nick ran a hand through Greg's messy brown locks with affection when it hit him. He pulled away from Greg, taking off his own cowboy hat and placing it on Greg's head. This was what he'd been missing. He looked him over, feeling his jaw drop and possible drool...

"Pick your chin up, babe. Wipe off that drool," Greg laughed his sweet musical laugh. "And get your head out of the gutter."

Nick gave him his first real genuine smile in a long time before leaning in close. "But what if I like it here in the gutter?" he pressed his lips to Greg's, licking them with his tongue, teasing his mouth open, kissing him like he hadn't in months. It felt so good and so right he had to wonder why he'd ever wanted to give this up.

An audible sigh came from Greg and when he pulled away there was a large grin covering his face. His heart swelled at the thought that he was the one who put it there and he reveled in the idea that this Super Megawatt Smile was meant only for him. Sure everyone at the lab knew about his Megawatt Smile that could power the entire planet, but only Nick ever saw the smile that could power the whole universe.

"I should be fighting you every step of the way, my brain says I should. But I'm tired of losing you every night. I can't go through that again. I could have lost you for real when the lab blew up. You were at the center of the explosion. You have no idea how scared I was that day, how hard it was to act normal and keep working despite what had happened to you.

"And then when I was buried alive... all I could think about was how I'd lose you if you didn't find me in time. I didn't want to be separated from you like that. I was so scared I'd never see you again.

"I love you, G," the words came out unexpectedly, but were not, could not, be regretted. "I never stopped... I couldn't... I can't."

Greg leaned forward, took his face in his hands, and softly kissed him. A heavy weight lifted from Nick's shoulders and it was as if he were a small bird flying high through the clouds on a beautiful breeze during a bright sunny day. When Greg let him go their eyes locked and Nick could easily see the depth of Greg's love for him. It was so infinite... He felt safe, something he hadn't even thought about when he got out of the coffin. He wondered, briefly, if that would have made a difference in their lives, in their relationship.

Greg tugged on Nick's fingers with gentle affection before hopping down from the fence. Walking backward, his eyes lured Nick to follow all the way into the cabin. Losing the jacket to the floor, he hung Nick's hat on the nail in the wall. Greg reached behind him, without breaking eye contact, shut the door, and slid the lock into place.

He began to methodically undress him, starting with his shirt and working slowly. When the buttons were undone he pushed it off Nick's shoulders, catching it when it fell off his arms. He neatly folded it and set it on the pile of folded clothes at the foot of the cot. Nick followed and sat down. Greg kneeled before him and pulled off his boots and socks. He set them aside with care as Nick stood up and allowed him to unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans off. Nick stepped out of them. When his boxers fell to the floor he stepped out of those too.

It had been a long time since this had happened, and when it had, it had never been quite like this. He reached up to start on Greg's shirt, but Greg stopped him. His hands rested on his shoulders, guiding him back toward the bed. He didn't rush when he unbuttoned his own shirt, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. Nick had never seen or experienced anything so breathtaking in his entire life, and the fact that Greg was moving slow and methodically both turned him on and calmed his fears.

Greg leaned over him as he lay back on the pillow they had been sharing and pressed their lips together in a slow, luxurious kiss. He closed his eyes as hands made their way over his body, leaving no part untouched. Feeling Greg this close felt like coming home and the realization of just how much he'd missed the other man, how much his heart had broken with missing him, hit him hard. But Greg was still moving over him, still clothed from the waist down, and that alone made him forget the tears that wanted to surface just then.

Greg's hands moved against him, bringing him to attention faster than they ever had before, but he knew this time would be different, would take more time. And as much as he was ready for a faster pace, he wanted it slow, as slow as Greg would take it. He wanted this to last forever, to always feel so close to Greg, as if they were made, not of two separate beings, but one.

Greg's mouth left his, traveling southward, leaving a hot, wet trail behind all the way down his chest as his hands continued to move, his fingers stroking and gliding. When he took him whole Nick had to struggle to swallow the saliva that had collected in his mouth in order to breathe. He clutched at the sheets, his mind going blank except for the knowledge that Greg was with him and was the cause of every wonderful feeling he had in those moments.

With a hot tongue working over him he had no idea how much time had passed until Greg had him releasing into his beautiful mouth. He continued to suck until there was nothing left, leaving Nick a little sweaty, warm, and flushed, but otherwise clean and completely relaxed.

When he tried to sit up, to give Greg the same action, he found it difficult. A hand gently pressed his chest back down.

"Sleep," Greg whispered in his ear.

Sheets and blankets were pulled over him and tucked under him.

"But..."

A warm body wrapped itself around his and a face burrowed into the crook of his neck, kissing softly.

"Just sleep."


A/N: I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I just want to let you know there's only one more chapter left!

If you want an immediate notification of when I post new chapters and stories, please join my wiki at queenoftheuniverse(dot)wetpaint(dot)com. Thanks guys!