Authors Note: Thanks for the few reviews I have gotten. I like writing this story so even if everyone else hates it I will continue writing it for myself AND you guys! :) Not too much humor in this one but I tried at the end, the fantasy is also supposed to be symbolic though. I have now posted all the chapters I have written so starting tonight I will be writing all new chapters so my updates won't be as fast as they have been but I would like to do at least one chapter a day...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I am admitting it so don't sue me just enjoy the story!

Don't Steal My Story!

1.8 My Intoxication

JD decided the best way to get out of his "funk" was to act like nothing was wrong. It was now his job to convince everyone that he was okay, everyone including himself. He was going to smile, make jokes, laugh at other peoples jokes, go out with his friends, and most importantly avoid Janitor. His gym teacher bunny conscience was telling him it was wrong to pretend to be someone he wasn't and to lie to his friends but he didn't care.

"Hey JD, when are you off?"

JD smiled at Elliot remembering his new plan, "Less than an hour, you?"

"Same... Jordan and I are going out tonight, wanna come with?"

"Just you guys?"

"Yeah, no one else wants to go, pleeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Okay, sound like fun!" JD smiled again.

My cheeks hurt from all this smiling.

"Okay, great! We'll meet you in the lounge in a little bit."

--

"Whoa, DJ, go easy there kid, we've only been here an hour!"

Elliot's eyes widened as she noticed JD had finished yet another drink. "JD, that is your 5th appletini, I did mention that you are paying for your own drinks, right?"

JD laughed, "Now ladies, don't be jealous that I can hold more liquor than you. It's actually an acquired skill."

One that I could practice more if my head was an apple. JD went back to his Gusher fantasy.

"JD, are you even listening to me?" Elliot asked annoyed.

"What?"

"I'm going up to get more drinks, do you need anything?"

Yeah... I need a lot of things...

"Um, just a beer... Actually make that two beers."

Elliot looked at him strangely and nodded as she got up to go to the bar. It was then that JD acknowledged Jordan was there, only because she was staring at him like she was in the cafeteria the other day.

"Hi..." JD said nervously.

"Hey..."

"Hi..." JD said again.

"Is there a reason you are downing your drinks like you have been sitting out in the desert for a week?"

"Just thirsty..."

"Listen kid, I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, stuff I haven't really talked to anyone about, not even Perry... I've been watching you and I can see right through your fake happiness and I think your friends can too they just aren't saying it. What I will say, from experience, is that eventually their worry and concern is going to turn into anger and frustration and they are not going to be nice to you anymore, they are going to be pissed and not want to be around you."

She paused waiting to see if he was going to say anything.

"I think you should tell them before someone else does because people are starting to talk about you at the hospital... I don't know what's true and what's not but I think whatever it is they would rather hear it from you and not some random nurse, or the janitor..."

JD looked up at her panicked.

"What are they saying?"

Just then Elliot came back with the drinks and Jordan stopped talking to JD who quickly downed his 2 beers like they were water and he had in fact, been left in the desert to dehydrate.

"Well ladies..." Jordan stood up after finishing her last drink and started putting on her coat, "Thanks for a fun night. I better get home and make sure Perry hasn't locked the kids in a cage again. See you tomorrow." As Jordan walked by JD she bent down next to him and whispered into his ear, "DJ, your gauze is showing... And, if you ask me, it's a little suspicious."

JD quickly put his arm under the table and pulled down his sleeve.

"Oh my God, JD? Did she just nibble on your ear?"

JD laughed, "Some women just can't control themselves when they are around all of this!" JD brought his hand from his head down like he was showing off a piece of artwork on display.

Elliot rolled her eyes.

--

A couple hours later Elliot walked home a very tipsy, and very handsy, JD.

JD was singing at the top of his lungs and they reached the apartment door, "If you like my body, and sexy you think I'm, come on, body, I know..."

"JD!" Eliot screeched, "I don't want your body, and I don't think you are sexy, I just want the key!"

JD just stood there with one arm around Elliot and the other rubbing his chest as he continued to sing. Just as she started to dig through JD's pockets for the key Carla came to the door.

"Elliot?"

"I'm sorry Carla, I couldn't find the key..."

"How much did he drink?" She asked, concerned by JD's state.

"Enough for him to start feeling himself and sing Rod Stewart songs."

"Thanks for bringing him home, I can't imagine how he would have made it here otherwise!"

Elliot nodded, "No problem. See you tomorrow."

Carla helped to guide JD, who had suddenly become quite aware of his drunkenness and stopped talking, into his room. She pulled down his blankets and helped him get into bed.

"Bambi... You have to work in the morning, why would you do this?"

"I think I am going to be sick..."

Carla quickly handed JD the garbage bin from the side of his bed but it wasn't quite fast enough...

"Oh Bambi... Let me get you another shirt..."

Look at you, you can't even take care of yourself! You need Elliot to get you back to your own home, you need Carla to put you to bed and dress you... Your happiness plan is not working so well... Maybe I should talk to Jordan... She would probably tell Perry who would never let me live it down. If I tell Turk he will tell Carla, so will Elliot. If I tell Carla she will probably tell Perry since she thinks he actually cares about me. Regardless everyone is going to find out! I will lose my friends, my job, my dignity...

"Bambi!"

"What?!"

"You scared me when you didn't answer..." Carla said, somewhat hurt by JD yelling at her... "Take your shirt off so you can get this one on."

JD took off his sweatshirt and put on the t-shirt Carla had found for him. Carla took his arm and held it up in front of his face...

"What happened here?" She asked, referring to the blood stained gauze around his wrist.

JD looked at his arm, in his current state he could not remember, "I have noooooo ideaaaaaaa..."

"Bambi... I am going to put you in a bubble if you don't stop getting hurt!"

Even as drunk as JD was he still pulled himself into a fantasy of himself floating in a giant bubble. "Bumper bubbles!" JD yelled. Perry was standing behind JD, blowing on his bubble and Carla is across from them blowing Turk in a bubble. "Harder Perry!" Just as JD is about to bump into Turks bubble the Janitor comes out with a giant needle and pops his bubble and he falls hard to the ground.

"Owwwww!" JD said out loud.

"You alright Bambi?" Carla said as she covered him up.

"No..." He whispered.

"What?" She asked, not hearing what he said.

"Yeah Carla, I'm okay. Thanks for helping me out tonight..."

"You're welcome. Good night Bambi."

"Night..."