Authors Note: It was hard to throw in any humor in this chapter but I hope the things with little Johnny and a few other little things keep it a little happy and not overly dramatic. Thanks for the reviews! I would finish this story even if no one liked it but it makes it so much easier and more enjoyable to know that people do like it! Again, this one is a little short like the last few have been but even though they have less words they have a lot of 'content'.

Please be aware this is not JD's all out confession so the poll on my profile is still very helpful for me!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12 on the site but in reality this is Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

Don't Steal My Story!

1.12 My Moderate Confession

"Hey Johnny!"

JD was nervous as he went into his room but not as nervous as the day before. He was sweating but you couldn't see it. His voice was shaking but it wasn't too noticeable. And, he had his rubber band which had become a security blanket to him...

"Hey Dr. Dorian." Johnny smiled. "What do you have behind your back?" he asked excitedly.

JD smiled, "I wanted to get you something special for keeping that secret for me."

Johnny's eyes widened, "What is it?"

JD brought two tiny plastic skateboards and a tiny half pipe out from behind his back.

"Awesome!"

"Darn right awesome!" JD sat them down on Johnny's food tray and brought it over to him. "They are finger boards. Great for in hospital use and safety."

Johnny nodded and picked up one of the boards and studied it.

"Watch this Johnny, a nollie heelflip varial body varial slob air!"

Thank you digital cable and extreme sports on demand!

"Woah! A salad shooter!" Johnny laughed, "Be careful Dr. Dorian, don't break your finger!"

JD laughed, "So you like your present?"

"I do! I can't wait to show my Dad!"

Oh my god! I can't do this!

"Well I have other patients buddy... I expect to see some cool tricks when I come back."

"Ok! Thanks Dr. Dorian!"

"You are very welcome!"

JD broke into a daydream and he was walking out of Johnny's room. Why is it so hard to walk? He looked down and saw his heart and stomach had dropped to his feet. It's hard to walk with all that extra weight on your feet...

--

"Bambi, what are you doing in the supply closet?" Carla asked curiously.

"Um... I... Ugh... was just..."

"Bambi!" Carla gasped. "You're bleeding!"

JD looked down at the blood dripping from his arm to the floor.

"Oh my God! I must have rubbed against something sharp in here!"

I'm so tired of lying.

"Come with me, let me take a look at it..." Carla's voice was shaking.

"No..." JD's voice was shaking as he tried to hold back his tears. A few escaped despite his best efforts.

Carla held out her hand, "Come on Bambi!"

JD hesitated but eventually took Carla's hand and followed her into an empty room.

"Let me see..."

JD closed his eyes and held out his arm.

This is it, everyone's going to know... You're driving down the highway to hell my friend... Except, in the song, your friends are right there waiting, in my case, they won't be...

"Bambi!"

JD snapped back to reality just in time to see Carla start to cry.

"Carla? Why are you crying?"

"Bambi... How did you get all these cuts?"

"I don't know... My skin gets very dry this time of year. I've been using a lotion with aloe in it but I think I should switch to one with cocoa butter, don't you? I probably should anyways, that aloe made my hands super slippery, I'm dropping things all the time. The other day I dropped a jar of..."

"JD!" Carla cut him off knowing his nervous rambling would never end if she didn't.

Uh oh, she's not calling me Bambi! She is maaaaaaaad!

"JD, I want you to tell me the truth!"

"What do you want me to say Carla!?" JD stood up and started pacing around the room. "What do you want me to say? That I am crazy? That I cut myself on purpose? Is that what you want? Is it?"

"Is that the truth?"

JD nodded and collapsed face first on the bed and buried his head under a pillow.

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand..."

Carla went and sat next to him... "I can try to understand."

"When I hurt myself... It hurts so much that it's all I can think about... I don't think about all the... all the... the shit in my head."

"You could just talk to me instead..."

"It's not that easy Carla! I can't just talk to you and you can't talk to anyone about his! No one else can find out!"

Carla gently rubbed JD's back, "It's okay Bambi. You're going to be okay..."