Authors Note: Author's note is at the end of the chapter due to SPOILERS throughout the chapter!

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews! Some of them are so nice, you have no idea how much they mean to me!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! If I did the show probably wouldn't have any fans because I am no Bill Lawrence, lol...

Don't Steal My Story!

1.16 My Big Confession

"Where would you be most comfortable?" Jordan asked as she led JD into the apartment. "The kids are with their grandmother and Perry is still at work so the living room or the dining room works."

"Living room works for me..."

Jordan nodded as she sat down in the recliner and JD chose the couch and immediately picked up a pillow and hugged it against his chest.

"Want some ice for that hand?" Jordan asked as she looked at JD's hands hugging the pillow.

JD blushed, "If it's not too much trouble..."

Jordan went to the kitchen and came back with an ice pack and a bottle of water and handed them to JD.

"Rough day?"

"I guess you could say that..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Yea, but I don't know if I can...

"My friends are pissed and don't want to be around me anymore... Just like you said would happen..."

"Did you tell them what's bothering you?"

"Why does everyone think something is bothering me? Nothing is bothering me!"

"JD, something is bothering you..."

"No, Jordan, you're wrong!" JD started to cry and buried his face in the pillow he was still hugging.

He suddenly felt something hit him on the head. He looked up and saw a box of tissues sitting next to him, "Um, thanks I think..."

"JD, my father was a very angry man... He used to hurt me, sometimes really bad... I couldn't handle all the pain he caused me but some how cutting myself helped me deal with the pain he caused, both physical and emotional. It took me a long time to realize that he wasn't angry at me and that I didn't cause his anger and even after I realized that it didn't hurt any less... The memories can still jolt me out of bed at night, the memories still hurt..."

"No one beat me Jordan..."

"Okay, but you do hurt yourself. It bothers me that you hurt yourself as badly as you do. You broke your arm and possibly your other one as well... I saw the gauze at the bar..."

"Why does it bother you?" JD asked curiously.

"It scares me that what's bothering you is something so bad that you are doing that to yourself..."

"I'm sorry I scare you..." JD said like a child that just broke a window with his baseball.

"I don't want you to apologize, I want you to tell me what is bothering you..."

"No!"

"Ok, what do your friends know that is making them so pissed?"

"They just know that I cut myself. They don't know that I broke my arm and they don't know why..."

"Well that is a step, that's the first time I heard you admit that you hurt yourself and that there is a reason..."

"Turk is ignoring me and Carla and Elliot are trying to help too much."

"JD, they don't get it..."

"Carla thinks I should just be able to talk to her and then I won't hurt myself..."

"JD... They don't understand... You need to talk to them..."

"What if they hate me forever?" JD asked nervously.

"Then they aren't really your friends!"

"I have this patient..." JD stopped to try and keep himself from crying... "A little boy named Johnny, how ironic is that? His father raped and beat him into a coma... He doesn't remember any of it. Some would be so happy for the kid, think it was a miracle." JD punched his already hurt hand on the couch. "I can't help but be angry at him, angry that he can't remember and I can!"

"Did your father do that to you?"

"No..." JD sobbed. "My mom worked two jobs, my dad was always out and my brother was a jock so he was always out playing sports. There was this woman, Deanna, that was my babysitter. She was like 35 and I was 7 the first time, she was my babysitter for 3 years."

"You know it wasn't your fault, right?"

"Then who's was it?" JD yelled! "Guys rape girls, guys rape guys, but girls don't rape guys! Guys are supposed to be able to control themselves!"

"JD! You were a little boy and she was an adult! Girls can rape guys, girls can even rape girls! JD, you can't keep blaming yourself for this!"

JD punched the couch again, "But I can't stop thinking about it! Everyday I think about it! Little Johnny just pushed me over the edge because I know that eventually I have to tell him and I know that there is that chance that he is going to start to remember and then he is going to be just like me!"

"JD..." Jordan got up and sat next to JD and put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to her as he started to cry harder and as Dr. Cox walked in the front door.

"Oh my goodness! Were you guys just about to start some girl on girl action? Let me go get my video camera!"

"Perry, give the kid a break! Can't you see he's upset?"

Dr. Cox stopped for a minute and realized that JD really was upset and that he was bawling into the pillow.

"Delilah, that's my favorite pillow, I don't really want it covered in your tears so why don't you pick your head up and tell me what's going on?"

JD did pick his head up, "Why? So you can pick on me some more? So you will have something to tell everyone at work about me? So then even more people can hate me?"

"Come on Newbie... no one hates you besides me!"

"Turk, Carla, and Elliot all hate me!"

"Whoa! What did you do Janice?"

"Seriously Perry, the girls names are not helping!" Jordan yelled as she turned to JD. "JD, I know that even though he is a royal jackass, for some reason, you look up to Perry, why don't you tell him about your arm. You don't have to tell him anymore than that if you don't want, but it will be good practice for you telling your friends the truth..."

"What happened to your arm Newbie?" It was then that Dr. Cox realized the discoloration and swelling of JD's "good arm".

"I broke my arm..."

"Wow, that was a big success!"

"Dr. Cox... I broke my arm, literally! I broke it on purpose. I didn't do it playing basketball and I didn't punch a wall... I broke my arm."

"Why would you do such a thing?" Dr. Cox asked with true concern in his voice.

"I have things in my head, things I think about all the time... This..." JD rolled up his sleeve to reveal his blood stained gauze and held out both of his arms, "...is how I handle it..."

"Newbie! You did all that to yourself?"

JD nodded.

"How does that help you?" He asked curiously.

"It gives me something else to think about... It hurts so bad that it's all I think about, I can't think about everything else..."

Dr. Cox nodded and looked at Jordan as he wasn't sure what to say next.

"JD, do you have time tomorrow where you could talk to your friends? I could come with you if you want..."

"We are all working tomorrow morning... but I don't think I can tell them."

"JD, if you tell them, what you told me, they are going to understand better and then they will be able to help you the right way... They will be able to be there for you, when you want them to be. Just explain to them that sometimes, you just need your space..."

JD nodded.

"Ok, I will set it up with them for you..."

"Thank you Jordan..." JD turned to Dr. Cox, "Thanks for not making a joke about it Dr. Cox."

"Newbie, what you just told me is nothing to joke about, it took guts for you to tell me that. I respect that."

"Thank you."

"Do you have somewhere to go tonight?" Jordan asked remembering that he came with a duffel bag...

"Oh, um, yea..."

"Newbie... It's late, you can sleep on the couch."

JD nodded, "I appreciate that."

Dr. Cox smiled, "Want to see my fish?"

"You have a fish?" JD asked, trying not to laugh.

"No, I have fish, plural..." Perry led JD over to the tank in the dining room. "This big one here is Fugly Slut."

JD had to laugh this time... "Fugly Slut?"

"Hello Newbie? From Mean Girls! The greatest Lindsay Lohan movie ever!"

JD smiled, "Well she doesn't look Fugly but by the look of all those little baby fish swimming around I would guess that the slut part fits her well."

Dr. Cox pointed his finger in JD's face, "Careful Newbie, you could be sleeping in the hall tonight!"

JD just continued to laugh...

Authors Note: I had decided in my head that Jordan was going to be the first one that JD opened up to with Dr. Cox being a part of the end of the conversation before I posted the poll in my profile to see what you guys thought. I was actually quite surprised that you guys voted for Jordan! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!