"You know what surprises me

"You know what surprises me?" Severus said one day, as he and Aidan said drinking tea together.

"What?" the Healer stretched lazily.

"That none of you ever got angry with me for trying to kill myself. I mean – we've talked about it, but you have not gone out of your way, after the first weeks, to keep anything dangerous away from me."

"And you had expected us to? Be angry, I mean?"

"When I was sixteen, Poppy nearly bit my head off for doing something so profoundly stupid," Severus remembered, "yet you never made a fuss over letting me have a piece of parchment for fear I might kill myself with papercuts."

Aidan grinned for a moment. "It wasn't necessary, Severus. Do you wish to die now? If I gave you a bottle of poison, would you drink it?"

The Potions Master shook his head. "I have no reason to," he stated simply, "No one hurts me. If I feel uncomfortable, I only have to say so. You must acknowledge, however, that this is a very safe environment."

"Of course it is, it would be defeating the purpose if it was not. However, like you said, you have no reason to now. You were suffering from a reactional depression, caused by the circumstances in your life. You were able to function with that depression until life became too difficult to cope with. Since we have eliminated much of the reactional depression, simply by attempting to make your life more bearable, it is unlikely to repeat itself. The suicide attempt was a symptom of that depression, as was the attempt when you were sixteen. What I am doing with you now is teach you other, better methods to cope as well as help you create a more supportive environment."

Aidan clinked his finger against the tea glass thoughtfully. "Have you given any thought to returning to Hogwarts?"

Severus paled. "You mean – in the Headmaster's care?" he eked out.

"No, no, you misunderstand me," the Healer reassured him, "and I am not talking about sending you back there. What I wanted to know was how you feel at this point about possibly returning to Hogwarts in September to teach. Do you want to?"

Snape stared ahead for a long time. "I- I don't know," he finally admitted, "The idea of going back…face the students...the Headmaster…"

"You don't have to decide now," the Healer said, "I just wanted to know how you feel about it."

Severus lowered his head and did not respond.

ssssssssssss

Dear Professor Snape,

Training is going very well. Slytherin is doing quite well now that the Headmaster has taken an active interest in their well-being. Draco told me that he gave detention to ALL participants in a fight that broke out between two Slytherins, a Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor. The Slytherins apparently served their detention with him, sorting out old books and being overfed on lemon drops.

Kingsley went to have dinner with me at the Three Broomsticks on the Hogsmeade weekend, said I needed a break. Uncle Vernon used to do that with Dudley, go out to eat, just the two of them. They taunted me about being a freak orphan with a good for nothing dead drunk father that would never have taken me anywhere. Now I have someone too. It feels weird, but nice.

Draco and I talk these days. He says he isn't willing to serve anyone, especially not someone who would never appreciate him. I am still unsure whether or not to give him your address so he can write to you himself – should I?

Take care,

Harry.

ssssssssss

Dumbledore nodded kindly at the squirming Slytherin first years. The eleven year olds had been dragged in by Filch, who vehemently insisted they were trying to hurt his cat.

The children flinched away from the caretaker whenever he looked at them.

"Nasty, horrid creatures," the old man spat, "trying to feed my Mrs Norris something awful!"

"T…they were only cat treats," one of the children managed, "our cat at home loves them! They…they only have a potion so a cat doesn't get…get all wormy…"

"You calling my cat wormy, you little…"

"Argus," Dumbledore halted the man before he could assault the child, "the treats do not contain anything that would harm Mrs Norris."

"Well they were still trying to sneak her something awful," the caretaker insisted, "I want to see them punished!"

The two students stared at the ground, convinced they were in for it now. The Headmaster sighed.

"The elves will be delighted to provide Mrs Norris with a nice saucer of cream," he tried, "why not retire for the night?"

The grumbling caretaker left, taking his cat with him.

"Well now, children," the old wizard smiled, "I am sure you meant well, but Mr Filch is extremely protective of Mrs Norris. He can be quite the grouch when he suspects anyone of teasing her. I'm sure he gave you quite a shock. Sit down and have some hot chocolate with me."

An hour later, the children returned to the Slytherin dorm where they told the awaiting Prefects, who had missed them in their head count that evening, about being accused of hurting Mrs Norris. That made everyone wince – they knew all too well what Filch was like when he suspected someone might even look at his cat funny. When they continued their tale with the story of hot chocolate and treats in the Headmaster's office, and no punishment, even the most sceptical of the older students began to hope a little that, perhaps, this new and improved Dumbledore might be for real. And Draco made sure Professor Snape heard of the incident.

sssssssssssss

Harry,

I am glad to hear my House is doing well. The reports about the Headmasters behaviour have me puzzled, however. Perhaps you could shed some light on it?

You should NOT, under any circumstances, tell anyone else where to reach me. Draco sounds sincere, but he is a Malfoy and a Slytherin. Even if he is sincere, the chances of the information falling into the wrong hands are far too great.

I share your feelings on having someone close. I, too, had no confident or mentor for many years – the Headmaster did not quite meet the qualifications that I have since learned are standard for such persons. Abe visits often and I am pleased with the diversion. Kingsley is an honourable and levelheaded man; you could do a lot worse than him as an advisor and friend. I do hope you pay closer attention to his lessons than to mine, though, Mr Potter!

Now that you have advanced in the art of Occlumency, there is another book in the Restricted Section on Advanced Occlumency. Ask Professor McGonagall to write you a pass. Also, the book next to it is perhaps also of use to you.

S Snape

Harry grinned widely when next to the Occlumency book Snape mentioned and for which Professor McGonagall had written him a Restricted Section pass without even looking at the letter, was a book on the Animagus Transformation. He slipped it into his bag as he walked towards Madam Pince to have the Occlumency book registered.

ssssssssssssss

Aberforth Dumbledore had also heard of his brothers' apparent transformation on those occasions he visited the castle to train Harry. To be honest, it surprised him. Rarely did Albus admit he was wrong, and even when he did, he generally did not actually undertake any action.

Severus seemed completely confused. He was reading several letters from his House when Abe arrived.

"They are all so surprised at being treated fairly," Severus sighed, "but I guess it is good that they are. Not just by the Headmaster, but also by the other staff. Mind you, Minerva was always quite fair where points were concerned."

Abe nodded. "How are you today?"

Severus shrugged. "Aidan wanted to talk to me about returning to Hogwarts."

"Oh? Does he want you to return?"

"He said not now, and he only wanted to know what I want," Severus bit his lip, "and I just don't know! Hogwarts is the only home I have known since I was eleven, but I don't…I was never happy there. So many bad memories. The…the Headmaster…"

The Potions Master moved to the window, folding his arms tightly over his chest.

"I want to see Minerva, and Poppy, hell, even Potter. My House needs me. I feel so safe here, though. No flashbacks at every turn. Not having to fight constantly for my students. I know I should return at some point, but I feel sweat running down my back just thinking about it. I felt so unhappy there…"

"Sev, this stuff is all way over my head. I don't quite know what to say to help you," Abe admitted, "but I will tell you this. If, and only if you decide you want to return to Hogwarts, Minerva and Poppy and myself will be standing ready to help you."

He paused. "I live in Hogsmeade. My home is always open to you, Sev – you will have a place with me whenever you need or want it. If you want to return to teach but not live in the castle all the time, you are very welcome to move in with me. Hell, if you don't want anything to do with Hogwarts, you are welcome to move in with me. No matter what you decide, you will have a home."

That reassurance that no one had ever given him – no one had ever wanted him before – finally triggered the release Aidan had been waiting for all those weeks. Severus turned away with a sob, stubbornly facing the window so Aberforth would not see the tears that slowly made their way down his face. He conveniently forgot that Aberforth was not a man easily fooled.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, boy, come here," the old man growled, turning the Potions Master around and grabbing him in a hug.

Severus resisted, fighting to get free from the embrace, but Aberforth patiently held on until Severus gave in, rested his head on the strong shoulder and for just this once allowed himself to enjoy the comfort and safety as long as Abe was willing to provide it.

sssssssssss

Late that night, the Healer walked Aberforth out.

"You never seem to go home either," the old man commented.

"I live here," Aidan happily explained, "this ward – my patients – are the most difficult to work with. I often have only one or two at the time and they take up all my time. It is worth it, but quite a demanding job. Almost impossible to have a wife and family along with it. Most of us do this work for a few years and then move to a job with more regular hours."

Abe nodded. "I was surprised today," he started carefully, "Severus does not strike me as someone prone to – well, I was surprised to see him cry."

"I had been hoping he would at some point," the Healer smiled softly, "and I am very happy he feels safe enough with you to do so. Yes, Severus has amazing self-control, and that has kept him alive so far. Now, however, he needs to learn that he can let go once in a while, when he is safe with people he trusts. In the long run, it will be far better for him. If he had not done so today, I would have taken steps soon to encourage it. You were absolutely brilliant."

Aberforth grinned a little shyly. "Do you really mean for him to return to Hogwarts?"

"I mean for him to be able to make his own choices," the Healer replied, "be it at Hogwarts or anywhere else. I want him to start thinking about his wishes. He is not ready to leave here yet. Certainly not until he has found some way of dealing with your brother and the way he was treated. He is making great strides with Harry, but he still longs for a relationship with your brother as much as he fears him."

The bartender stopped. "Albus is making amends. He is trying to convince Severus. He could very well succeed, and where does that leave me? I had not believed it the first time Minerva asked me to visit the boy, but I grew to care for him. I could not stand losing him to my brother."

"I think you have little to fear there," the younger man was quick to reassure, "Severus will attempt to reconcile with the Headmaster, I am certain. However, he is becoming aware that a relationship with Albus Dumbledore will always be fickle at best. He trusts you. He does not trust the Headmaster, and probably won't, not completely, ever again."

ssssssssss

Harry grinned as he took flight. Alright, a raven wasn't anything exciting like a lion or a dinosaur – did dinosaur animagi even exist? – but it was nothing to sneer at. Inconspicuous, able to fly, after lots of practice and small enough to fit through most openings.

Unfortunately, not small enough to escape the notice of a thin-lipped Head of House when he returned to his dorm.

"Mr Potter," the witch held up his Animagus book, "would you care to explain?"