Harry gulped. "Ah…A book?" he ventured.
"Mr Potter!" his Head of House nearly hissed, "this is a book from the restricted section. A book that you most certainly did not show Madam Pince."
"Well…erm…it was sitting right next to the Occlumency book I needed and I erm…forgot?" Harry shifted his feet, "I erm…you never do come to our dorms," he accused, "why were you searching my things?"
"Did you know what I saw earlier, Mr Potter?" the Deputy Headmistress asked, "I saw a student standing in the Gryffindor Dorm window. That student jumped, Mr Potter. You can imagine my shock when said student transformed into a bird whereas I was thinking I would be dealing with severe injuries and suicide – again!"
"I – I'm sorry, Professor," Harry honestly regretted having upset his Head of House, after she had found Snape, "no one was meant to see."
"That does not make it alright," a dark voice came from behind the witch, and Kingsley stepped from the shadows, "This transformation is far too dangerous, especially without expert help. You could have hurt yourself."
Harry looked at him, not comprehending. "But this gives me a substantial advantage to anyone attacking me," he said, not seeing the problem, "and I was certain you would not help me."
"Of course I would not, at least, not without making damn sure you were ready for it!" Kingsley said angrily.
"I don't understand. I have to fight Voldemort. I need all the tricks I can learn. What does it matter if I take a little risk? I can't defeat him anyway, only hope to take him out with me."
Kingsley grabbed Harry's shoulders and shook him. "Do not EVER think this is just up to you, young man! We are training you and protecting you and we will be right with you when the time does come. Your life is valuable and you are NOT TO THROW IT AWAY! Is that very clear?"
Harry gaped like a fish and only managed a nod.
"Minerva, is it alright if I take him from here?" the Auror asked.
"Go right ahead," the Transfiguration Professor said.
"Alright then, Harry my boy," Kingsley slung an arm around the youth's shoulders, "I think two rounds of the ropes course and five extra laps around the Quidditch Pitch today will remind you not to play games with your life in the future."
"Oh sure," Harry grumbled, "you are going to kill me to teach me to value my life. How effective."
Kingsley laughed and led him to the door. "Something like that."
"One second please, Kingsley," McGonagall said, "Harry, where did you find this book?"
"Oh, it was right next to the Occlumency book I needed," Harry said truthfully. It WAS the truth, just not the whole truth. He certainly was not going to get Snape into trouble if he could help it.
"Ah. I see. However, the cover of this book does not actually have a title. How did you know it was a book on Animagi transformations?"
Harry shrugged. "Looked at the other books a bit."
"Did you now? What was the book on the other side about?"
"Erm…I never got round to checking that one."
The Headmistress frowned. "I am beginning to doubt Professor Snape ever gave you permission for the Restricted Section. I should like to see his letter."
Harry paled. "I eh…I don't have it anymore…but you can Owl him and ask him, he did give me permission."
Kingsley frowned. "Harry. You are lying. Give her the letter."
The young wizard gulped. "Please, Professor. Believe me."
"Oh, I believe you, Mr Potter," the witch said to Harry's relief.
"I also believe that you did not 'happen upon that book' as you would have us believe."
Harry bowed his head as Kingsley gave him a slight nudge in the direction of his bed. He pulled out the top of a stack of letters in his trunk and handed it to the witch, still staring at his shoes.
"Severus, you…" Minerva shook her head, "when I get my hands on that boy…"
Harry looked up. "Please, Ma'am. I'm sure he assumed I would ask you or Kingsley for help. He had nothing to do with me trying this on my own."
They looked at him a little kinder than before. "Harry, we appreciate that you defend him, and please don't worry," the witch smiled again, "You don't have to worry about him, I promise. I won't be too hard on him, but I am not at all convinced he 'forgot' to tell you to ask for help! Severus has quite a mischievous streak when he wants to."
sssssssssss
Professor Snape,
I am sorry! I am so sorry! I did not know she saw me. I almost had them convinced I found the book by accident. Kingsley made me do the ropes course twice that night and run five laps around the pitch. Did Professor McGonagall hurt you? I really am sorry.
Harry
ssssssssss
Harry,
Calm down. I am still alive. Professor McGonagall gave me a telling-off, pulled my ear and then hugged me senseless while babbling about how wonderful it is to see me conspire to pull pranks. She is not always entirely logical in her reactions. A female prerogative, I am sure.
She did tell me that you tried not to give away my involvement and then tried to take the blame and defended me. Thank you for that. I think it saved me from a day in the corner. Aidan, the coward, hid in his office and refused to interfere on my behalf.
You did forget to tell me what your Animagus form is, however. Are you pleased with it?
S Snape.
sssssssss
"Aidan?" Severus knocked on the door to his Healer's office.
"Yes, Severus? Do come in."
Severus settled in the comfortable armchair in front of the desk.
"I have thought about returning to Hogwarts."
The Healer looked up in surprise. "And have you decided anything?"
Severus nodded. "I need to go back, to teach and to be near my Slytherins. They need me, and I need to know I am doing my best to keep them from joining that maniac. There is a war going on that I am too involved in to simply ignore or walk away from. I do not want that. I simply want my role in it to change. It must, since I cannot spy anymore. I do not think I am ready to return to living in the castle yet, and I am not sure that I want to. I would like to take Aberforth up on his offer, and go live with him. I would be close enough to Hogwarts to go to staff meetings and still be part of it all, but I would feel much safer. I should like to stay at Hogsmeade for the summer at the least, if you release me from here by then, that is."
"I think that is a very good idea, Severus," the Healer was happy that his patient had come up with his own solution and showed initiative by suggesting it to him. Severus had clearly given thought to his own desires. It had never been the Healer's intention to make him blind to his responsibilities – but Severus had been far too conscious of them in the past, to the point where his own health was all the way down at the bottom of his priorities list.
"I am glad you suggested this," he praised, "it shows you can successfully mix your responsibilities and your own wishes in a much healthier way. Yes, I am going to release you from here by the time term ends in a few weeks. There is just one suggestion I would make."
"The Headmaster?" Severus smiled a little sadly.
"You will be leaving here soon, Severus," the Healer said softly, "and you will have to work with him now that you decided to go back to teaching, at least for now. Perhaps it is wisest to talk to him again while you are still here, where you are safest."
"I will still see you when I leave, won't I?" Severus asked, frowning, "I am not quite sure that I won't need help with the transition."
"Of course you will still see me, we aren't nearly done yet. Your time here has been good for you, but yes, you need to return to your life at some point. I will visit you then much as I do with Harry now. Aberforth, Minerva and Poppy will be supporting you as well. You have learned much and I think you will do fine."
Severus pondered. "My Slytherins as well as Harry told me of the Headmaster's attempts to be more fair and support my House now that I am gone. Do you think he is trying to do what I asked of him last time we spoke?"
"It is possible," the Healer carefully answered, "he certainly does seem intent on rebuilding his relationship with you. For some reason, that seems to mean a lot to him. It must, since he is attempting to change the habits of a lifetime. One of us could talk to him first, of course, to see if he is sincere."
"I hope it is sincere," Severus admitted, "that he might be changing because being on good terms with me is important to him – that means a lot to me. I want a friendship of sorts with him, too. Trust will remain a problem for a long time, and I think I will never be at ease with him like I am with Abe, but I am still willing to try. Only – if I talk to him and he acts like last time, I am not sure if it is worth the effort, beyond any professional relationship, I mean."
The Healer nodded. "I am inclined to agree with you. And if that is so, Severus, we will work on helping you grieve over it and move on."
Severus stared out of the 'window'. "It is already difficult to accept that what I once hoped – a sort of father figure – is simply impossible. With the Headmaster, I mean. It seems I have clung to the wrong Dumbledore for years," a slight grin spread over his face along with a light blush.
"Aberforth is a good man who cares for you without asking anything in return. If you decided to pursue that kind of relationship with the Headmaster, he would support it, even if it meant losing you," the Healer carefully monitored his patient's reaction to this statement and was pleased to see Snape's eyes widen in astonishment.
"Lose me? You mean…he thinks I would just ignore him the moment the Headmaster says 'I'm sorry'? That is ridiculous! He helped me so much, I enjoy being around him, I would never give that up! I do not have to be afraid when I am with him. Believe me, after everything that has happened, nothing means more to me than that!"
"I know, Severus," the Healer reached over to take his patients hand, "I am glad that you have developed a healthier outlook on your relationship with the Headmaster as well. I know it is still painful no matter what happens – it is normal that you feel hurt and are grieving for the things that cannot be. Allow yourself to feel that and work through it while you enjoy building relationships with the people around you. Minerva and Poppy care for you and long to get to know the adult you instead of the boy they remember. Aberforth opened his house to you – and let me assure you he does not do so easily. You are no longer alone."
Severus was quiet for a little while. Yes, he was no longer alone. He was allowed to grieve. People cared about him; genuinely cared, not because they wanted something from him but simply because they appreciated him for who he was, the whole package.
"Harry," he said suddenly.
"What about Harry?" the Healer asked.
"I think – I know I have misjudged Harry in the past. I have enjoyed writing him, getting to know him. I think I wish to continue that. He looks like his father, but he is very much his own person, someone I could like. Kingsley is taking good care of him so Harry does not need me and I do not need him. We can write and talk without expectations. I must confess I enjoy the thought of that."
Aidan pulled out a book. "Did you ever read Aristotle, Severus?"
"My mother bullied me into reading Plato but no, I have not read Aristotle."
Aidan handed him the book. "These are Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics. In this book is a chapter on friendship that very much describes what you just told me. I think you will find it interesting."
sssssssssssss
Minerva entered the Headmaster's office from the moving stairs. Sometimes she wished all stairs in Hogwarts would move on her own – climbing up to the towers from ground level was getting a bit tiring when one got on in years.
"Yes Minerva? Anything I can do for you today?" the Headmaster pushed his bowl of lemon drops over to her as usual, and as usual, she ignored them.
"It appears the Slytherins and Harry have been keeping Severus apprised of your recent changes in policy," she started, "and he is willing to once again meet with you, if I feel that you have genuinely changed and this was not just a tactic to get Severus to cooperate."
The wizard sighed. "I deserve that mistrust, I know. I honestly wish to do better, Minerva. I tried to find a way to show Severus I am sincere, and the only thing I could think of was by taking better care of his Slytherins. Then, over the past weeks, as I got to know the students better, I realized that they are children like any other, and I enjoyed spending time with them. I do not think I could go back to being callous and hurtful to them even if Severus never wants to see me again."
The witch nodded. "Do you realize that you were callous and hurtful to Severus, as well?"
Dumbledore pinched the bridge of his nose. "Min, to be honest, I haven't though about anything else since that last meeting. For Merlin's sake, my actions nearly led to the death of the boy. Truth be told, I don't quite understand why he still wants to meet with me."
"You made him dependant on you," his Deputy said matter-of-factly, "for the longest time, you were the only person he had any sort of social interaction with – the only one who seemed willing to guide him. He has changed as well, Albus, and you would be wise to remember that. He is no longer a lonely young man whose affections you can manipulate to your own ends. Even if he would allow it, his friends won't."
She turned. "I will let Severus know and we will set a date before the end of term."
ssssssssss
Professor Snape,
I am a raven. It's a pretty common thing I guess but I LOVE flying. I can't imagine being anything else. Kingsley and Professor McGonagall did make me file the form to register, but Kingsley arranged for it to be 'held up' in one of the offices so that Voldemort won't find out yet.
The most wonderful thing has happened! I do not have to return to the Dursleys and Kingsley offered to become my foster-father. Aidan said it is impossible for me to return to Surrey, least of all because my Aunt and Uncle are in custody, awaiting trial. It will be a closed trial with Muggle judges and lawyers who are all aware of the Magical World. Dudley has gone to to some kind of program in Utah, I believe, something for troubled teens. Apparently he will stay there for a few months and then go to Muggle foster parents, depending on the outcome of the trial. Either way, I do not have to go back to them. Kingsley said that he isn't sure he can adopt me eventually but it doesn't matter, because I will be of age next year anyway.
Will you be here next year? What is going to happen if you do return to school?
Harry
sssssssssss
Harry,
Yes, I am returning next term to teach. I may or may not live in the castle, that is as of yet undecided. This summer, I will be staying with Aberforth in Hogsmeade. I would not be opposed to the occasional visit, if you feel inclined to.
Congratulations! I am certain Kingsley will be a much better guardian for you than your relatives.
Along with this parchment I have sent a note to inform my House that the interviews I was supposed to conduct with each of them this year regarding their future…occupations will have to wait until the fall, and I request that they postpone making any definitive decisions on that subject until I have had a chance to review their options with them. Kindly see to it that they receive it at your earliest convenience, as it is a matter of some importance.
S Snape.
ssssssssss
Headmaster Dumbledore,
Based on Professor McGonagall's report I wish to make an appointment with you for Saturday next at two in the afternoon. Only Severus and I will be present this time. If you have any questions beforehand or this date is not convenient to you, feel free to contact me.
Healer A. Lythe
St Mungo's Hospital
London.
