Dearly Beloved

Chapter 18

It was another month before Beth could bring herself to pack up the last of their belongings in town. She had already moved most of her possessions to the ranch but there were still Adam's things to remove, and it was a task she kept putting off. But Dr. Browne had advertised for a new doctor and one would be arriving within the fortnight. It made sense that he should live above the clinic, and Beth knew she wouldn't be able to keep paying for a home she wasn't even living in. Still, part of her felt she was losing Adam all over again. It was with a heavy heart that she asked Jamie to take her into town.

She felt like a stranger in her own home when she let herself in. Memories of her brief marriage flooded through her, causing Beth to take a few deep breaths so she could get to work. As Kid and Jamie loaded the few pieces of the furniture in the wagon, she sorted through her books and other belongings. At some point, and without her knowledge, Jamie had taken it upon himself to pack Adam's clothes so she did not have to. He sheepishly admitted it when she questioned him, and was rewarded with an unexpected kiss on the cheek.

"This the last of it?" he asked, scanning for anything else to load in the wagon. He could see the tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"Just these books," Beth replied, forcing a smile onto her face that lasted only a few seconds. "Thank you."

"Pa's gone on to the livery, so we'll be ready to head back shortly."

"I'll be finished up soon," she assured him.

After Jamie had taken the final crate of books downstairs Beth wandered through the nearly bare rooms, saying a silent goodbye. For all the happy items she had had in the house, she still felt closer to Adam at the ranch. Beth knew she had done the right thing in staying, and that it was what Adam would have wanted. She rubbed her hands over her belly, reaffirming her belief.

She waited until she had composed herself properly before moving to the back landing for the last time. She was about to descend the stairs when she stopped, stepping back quickly so as not to intrude on the scene below.

Beth peered curiously around the door frame at Jamie who stood by the wagon, murmuring intently to a brown-haired young woman. Beth recognized her as Sally Johnson, whose father owned the biggest general store in town. She was a bright, friendly girl who had immediately made Beth feel welcome when she'd arrived in Sweetwater, although she'd seen little of her since.

She knew she shouldn't be watching, but Beth did not go back inside the house. Instead she saw Sally's hand rest on Jamie's chest in a consoling way as she spoke to him, her large, blue eyes round with concern for him. When he placed his hand over hers Beth could not miss the intimacy between them. She was surprised at first but smiled at the fact that Jamie and Sally were obviously close.

After a few moments Jamie placed a soft kiss on Sally's lips then stepped away, prompting Beth to clear her throat noisily as she shut the door behind her and made her way down the stairs. There was only a hint of a blush on Sally's face when Beth greeted her. Jamie, however, opened his mouth to speak but his words faltered, which prompted Beth to initiate the conversation.

"It's lovely to see you, Sally," she said warmly, silently affirming her approval for Jamie's benefit.

"And you, Beth. I saw you were in town," Sally replied with a little awkwardness. She retrieved a parcel wrapped in brown paper from the wagon seat. "I was going to come out to the ranch to give you this, but, as you're here…"

She handed her the parcel, which Beth opened to reveal a delicate baby blanket.

"How kind, thank you." Beth was touched by the gift. "Sally, you shouldn't have."

"I– I wanted to. I just… I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. Adam was a good man." She twisted her hands uneasily, not wanting to say anything to upset Beth. "We only arrived in Sweetwater a few years ago, not long before he left for college. But he was always very kind to me and my family."

"Thank you." Beth took her hand, glancing at Jamie who looked quietly pleased.

This time Sally did blush. "Well, I should get back to the store. I hope we'll still see you around town sometimes."

"I'm sure you will."

Sally smiled and waved farewell, her eyes lingering on Jamie a little longer before she turned and walked away. He watched her go, then casually busied himself with securing the belongings in the wagon. He studiously avoided Beth's gaze which only amused her further.

"That was very kind of Sally, wasn't it?" Beth commented lightly.

"Uh huh."

"She's a nice girl."

"Yes, she is."

Beth smothered a smile at his coyness. "Someone would be fortunate to court a young lady like that."

"S'pose." Jamie glanced at her then and knew from her expression that she'd seen them together. He turned his back once more and focused on the wagon.

"You should invite her out to the ranch some time."

"Maybe I will," he mumbled. He paused, deciding whether or not to say any more. "The others don't know yet."

Beth rounded the other side of the wagon so she was next to him again.

"Why haven't you told them?"

He didn't respond and she waited until she had caught his eye. "This is a good thing, Jamie," she said quietly and genuinely.

Jamie stopped what he was doing, embarrassed, but more than that he was concerned for her feelings. "I didn't want to say anything to you, with Adam…"

"You deserve to be happy. I'm glad for you." Beth smiled and clutched the blanket to her chest. She held out a hand so he could help her up onto the wagon.

Once he had joined her he picked up the reins, but made no move to go.

"She is a nice girl, isn't she?" he said thoughtfully, which prompted a brief grin from Beth.

She looped her arm in his. "Yes, she is. Come on, let's go find your father and go home."


Beth's wakefulness continued in the days that followed, and she often found herself wide awake in the middle of the night. It was the only time she actually felt hungry, so she would frequently make her way quietly to the kitchen, trying not to wake the others, and help herself to leftovers which Mrs. Greig had taken to leaving out for her. One night, she was rewarded with blueberry pie. Beth had just enjoyed her first mouthful when Charlie found her.

"Did I wake you?" she asked guiltily, her hand covering her mouth as she finished chewing.

"No, I couldn't sleep either. The moon is so bright tonight," Charlie said quietly, slipping into a seat opposite her. She helped herself to a piece of pie crust, then retrieved a fork so she could sample it further. "You?"

"Too hungry to sleep." It was easier than talking about the real reason for her insomnia. Beth had made conscious decision to put on a brave face for the sake of the family who shared her grief over losing Adam, but didn't need to be constantly reminded of it.

The two women ate in a companionable silence for several minutes.

"Did you know Jamie is seeing Sally Johnson?" Beth blurted out, unable to keep the secret any longer.

Charlie raised a curious eyebrow but then shrugged off any surprise she might have felt. "I should have guessed. She's been sweet on him for years."

"Really? I never noticed."

"Nor did he." Charlie grinned. "My brother's always been a little dense when it comes to things like that. He's broken more than a few hearts around here."

"I think it's wonderful," Beth said, pleased that Jamie might had found someone to love.

Charlie didn't sound so convinced. "I guess."

"Don't you like her?"

"Sally's all right. She's a lot smarter than some of those other girls in town." A frown creased Charlie's brow as she thought about the other girls she'd gone to school with who had never really accepted her. "But I'd be just as happy for things to go on the way they been."

Beth thought about this for a moment. "If they had I never would have come here," she reminded her.

Charlie smiled at her sister-in-law who had, despite all her attempts to thwart her, become her friend. "I guess it can turn out all right once and a while."

"You're too kind." They shared a quiet laugh. Beth tilted her head to the side as she watched Charlie, who was biting down on a large piece of pie. "You know, I haven't seen much of Dan Lawson lately."

The jovial mood in the kitchen dissipated as Charlie took her time to chew and swallow her mouthful. She gave a small shrug rather than respond.

"Has something happened between you two?" Beth asked, concerned. "You haven't quarreled, have you?"

"No… We haven't done much of anything, really." Charlie sucked on the end of her fork, no longer interested in eating. "I haven't spoken to him for a while."

"Oh." Beth's gaze focused on the table between them.

"I heard he's sparking Frances Green now," Charlie stated matter-of-factly. When she saw Beth's lack of recognition at the name, she added, "Her father's one of the blacksmiths in town."

Beth nodded slowly. "How do you feel about that?"

Charlie shrugged her shoulders once more. "Honestly? Not much."

Beth smiled sadly. "I guess it's for the best, then."

"Yeah. Besides, I can't respect a boy I can outride every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Or they can't respect me… But it's not my fault I'm better with horses than they are." Charlie sighed dramatically. "They sure can be real confusing sometimes."

"Yes, they can." Beth gave her a reassuring smile. "But they're not all like that."

"Who's confusin'?" came a male voice. A sleepy-eyed Jamie stumbled into the kitchen and slumped into a chair.

"Men," Charlie and Beth said emphatically at the same time.

Jamie looked between the two women and decided to stay out of that particular conversation. Instead he saw at the empty pie plate that sat between them.

"You ate all the pie?" he whined.

"Yep, you're too late," said Charlie without a hint of remorse. She glanced wickedly at Beth. "You could always get Sally to bake you one."

Beth stifled a laugh as Jamie glared at her. "You told her?"

"Told me what?" Charlie asked innocently. "About you and Saaaally Joooohnson?"

"Ha ha, thank you, Miss Charlotte," Jamie replied humorlessly. He turned to Beth. "And you wondered why I hadn't said anything to the family..."