Dearly Beloved

Chapter 28

Beth put her book aside when she realized she'd been reading the same page for the past ten minutes, and couldn't remember any of it. The loud talking and occasional guffaws of laughter meant her grandfather's soirée in the next room was still in full swing. Once a month a number of doctors he worked with at the hospital would spend the evening ostensibly discussing patients, but it was really an excuse to drink brandy and puff on cigars that left the parlor reeking of stale smoke. Beth had not been invited to join the men, leaving her on her own for the evening once more.

She sighed as she stared out at the rain beating against the window of the sitting room. Her sister-in-law was still confined to bed after Rudy's son had been born a week earlier, and Beth missed the other woman's company. She found herself feeling more lonely than she ever had in her life, so used to bustling life at the ranch with the large Morgan family was she. Beth thought it a sad irony that Rudy had always assumed she would feel alone out West. Her return to St. Louis and the city lifestyle left her feeling homesick – she had quickly come to the realization that her real home was in Sweetwater. But how she could go back there now, after everything that had happened, she did not know.

Beth decided she may as well turn in for the night, as sitting up worrying about matters was not going to solve anything. But when the door chime sounded she changed her mind, opting to make herself useful and saving their maid the journey down the stairs to answer it. Beth waved her away with a small smile as she left the room. Assuming the caller to be another of her grandfather's friends, she wasn't prepared for the sight of Jamie, rain streaming off the brim of his hat, huddled on the doorstep.

"Jamie! What…" she gasped. "What are you doing here?"

He thought to comment on the look of shock on her face, but the sight of her rendered him momentarily mute. He had forgotten how beautiful she was, and it took him a moment to recover. It afforded Beth the time to gather herself.

"Come in here, you're soaked," Beth instructed. She pulled him inside where he removed his hat and proceeded to drip all over the thick rug in the foyer.

"Hi," he said simply, as if he visited her in St. Louis every day.

"Hi?" She frowned, then immediately panicked when she contemplated why he had come. "Why are you here? Is everyone all right? Has something happened?"

"Everyone's fine."

Beth breathed a sigh of relief, but then nervousness set in when she saw the way he stared at her so fervently. She swallowed hard. "You're completely wet."

"I know." He chuckled to break the tension and his own trepidation. "Nice weather you have in this place."

"You'll catch your death. Come upstairs so you can dry off."

Jamie heard the male voices upstairs, and suspected there was a large gathering. He wasn't prepared for that, not when he had spent the entire train journey rehearsing what he would say to Beth. For that they needed to be alone.

"I'd rather not."

Beth couldn't stop the nervous fluttering in her stomach which was making rational thought difficult.

"In here then." She led him into what looked like a waiting room, then disappeared briefly behind another door.

He realized it was the doctor's office, no doubt her grandfather's or Rudy's. He looked around, immediately thinking about Adam and having to silence yet again the small voice which reminded him that Beth had been his brother's. And maybe she always would be. He was grateful when she returned with a towel and handed it to him, so he didn't have to listen to his own thoughts anymore.

"Thanks." He peeled off his drenched jacket and dried himself as best he could.

She watched him without speaking, her chest rising and falling faster than usual. Neither of them seemed able to start a conversation. Beth eventually forced herself to take the initiative.

"Jamie, what are you doing here?" she asked again.

"I- I forgot to tell you something… before you left."

Beth inwardly grimaced. "You said plenty. So did I."

"No, I didn't. I said all the wrong things."

"What have you got to say that made you come all this way?"

Jamie cast the towel aside and took a deep breath. "I-… What I mean to say is… Beth, I think we should get married."

Her cheeks flamed red. "What?"

"I can look after you and Hannah," he reasoned, ticking off the points he had so carefully prepared. "You need a husband and she needs a father, not that I'm suggesting to replace her real father… but someone to look out for her. For both of you. To give you a home of your own so you're not living under someone else's roof. To provide for you. And, well, I can give you that."

Jamie finished in a rush, knowing he was rambling, and completely unused to his sudden lack of confidence. He had sounded more polished in his mind, but he hoped she would understand his arguments. He looked at her expectantly, not prepared for the stunned silence with which he was met. Jamie started worrying when she still did not speak after several moments.

"Uh… I know I haven't exactly gone about this the right way," he continued hesitantly. "The way I acted before… You have no idea how much I regret it. But this is the right thing to do. We should get married."

Beth took a few steps away from him, her eyes downcast. "Jamie, stop. I know you care about Hannah but you're not responsible for taking care of us. I think you're a good and honorable man and if you thought, as Adam's brother, you have to look after his widow…"

She met his gaze, raising her chin determinedly. "But I don't need your pity or your charity. I have a home here. I can provide for my daughter myself."

"Pity you?" He frowned, closing the gap between them. "You think that's why I came all the way from Sweetwater?"

Tears pricked her eyes as she stared at him. "Isn't it?"

Jamie's face softened. His mother had been right, she really didn't know how he felt. "Beth, I came here to tell you that I love you."

Her eyes dropped to the floor once more. "Oh."

"I know it's different for you. That no one could ever take Adam's place… I don't mean to do that."

Beth nodded numbly. "He's Hannah's father. He'll always be part of our lives and I'll always love him."

Jamie felt a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He had known that, but hearing it from her so plainly still hurt. Everything he wanted was slipping away. But then she looked up at him, a small smile appearing on her lips as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you too."

"What?" he breathed, hardly believing it.

"I said I love you too."

Jamie's chest swelled as a smile tugged at his mouth. "Why didn't you say so, back at the ranch?"

"Why didn't you tell me you loved me?" she countered lightly.

"I should have. I thought maybe if I didn't say it…"

"You could pretend it wasn't true?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." They shared an embarrassed grin.

"Seems kinda silly now," he admitted.

The worried look returned to Beth's face. "I don't know… How do you think the family will feel? You saw Charlie's reaction. What about the rest of them? Your mother?"

"She already knows."

"She does?"

"Who do you think convinced me to come here? She knew… She knew that you're the only woman I love. The only one I want to marry."

Beth blushed anew. "Your mother's a very smart lady."

Jamie reached out and took her hands in his. "They want us to be happy, Beth. I want to make you happy, if you'll have me. Even if it means staying here in the city, I don't care."

She smiled at his offer, her eyes twinkling playfully. "What on earth would you do in the city?"

"I have no idea." They laughed together until he reached up and cupped one hand against her cheek. "But I'd do anything for you."

"I can think of one thing," she said quietly. "You can take us home."

His hand slipped behind her head as he kissed her deeply in response.


He offered to stay and be married in St. Louis so Beth's family could be there, but this time, at her insistence, the ceremony was to take place in Sweetwater in front of the entire Morgan family. It gave Beth the opportunity to talk to Kid and Lou, to reassure herself they did not think badly of her, and to make sure Charlie would also be accepting of her marrying Jamie. Beth didn't know if it was the fact that Charlie was now a married woman herself, but she understood that they were not betraying Adam, and that they really did love each other.

"I'll give you my blessing on one condition," Charlie stated seriously. "You're here now for good, no more going away."

"Promise," Beth replied.

Jamie smiled at them both, having just returned from the creek where a pile of lumber was waiting to build their new house. Lou had seen to that, ordering it as soon as Jamie left. She had no doubt of the outcome of his visit to St. Louis.

The wedding was small, with only the family in attendance. There was no need for wedding feasts and dancing and all the other trappings. Jamie and Beth were contented to have the people they loved witness their promise to each other.

Lou wiped at her eyes as she sat next to Kid in the small Sweetwater church. When the minister intoned the familiar words of "dearly beloved, we are gathered here…", Lou thought no truer words had been spoken.