Chapter 4
How your life can change in an instant? I went from being a rock star goddess to a drug addict after being kidnapped. My life was never perfect Tommy said but I needed details I had to have details even if I would not like them but before we could get to my past life we had to venture into my life I have been living these past couple years. I don't know where to start. I remember my life starting two and a half years ago. Even though Tommy says I have been gone for three years, I don't remember that far back. That might have been the time when I was still remembering who I was. Now I am just a person lost in there own soap opera.
Flashback
Mike:
Jude baby we need to go.
Jude: Mike I don't have the
energy.
Mike: I am sorry I wore you out last night.
He leaned down to kiss me. Every time he touched me kissed me I always felt like this was wrong. He said I left my husband for him but a part of me would not allow myself to believe that. I knew this whole situation was wrong but he kept telling me that it was right and that we belonged together. My life at this point consisted of me doing drugs, selling drugs, partying to no end, and having sex with Mike. My life felt so empty but I did not know who I was.
Mike made sure to keep me isolated. I was only allowed to go out when he said I could go and only to where he said I could go. I always thought it was because he didn't want me to get hurt but I never dared ask him.
We were living in New York at the time but then we moved to many places. I never understood why we moved so much and I being afraid of Mike never questioned him. He never explained his actions and of course it was not my place to have a say in anything.
I remembered when I asked him about my family and why I never saw or talked to them. He told me because no one but him wanted me and to drop it or pay the repercussions. I stopped because his repercussions were brutal. A guy forgot to remind him of a meeting or something and he beat the guy to where he was unconscious. I never wanted that to be me. Yeah he hit me a few times but never anything to bad.
I think I finally really started to feel like I didn't belong with him when we came to Toronto. It felt so familiar but I could not remember anything about being here. And then when I ran into Tommy I started to feel like this was my true home. I needed answers but no one to get them from. Mike would have just hid it from me so I just put it back into my mind. Then at the park with Chris and Tommy I knew I had to figure out who I was. So I searched out someone I knew could help me.
End of Flashback
Tommy stared at me in awe after I finished telling him my past events. He looked like he could kill someone. I wondered how far our past went and if we were genuinely happy.
Tommy: I am so sorry Jude that
I did not do more to find you. We searched but we could not find
you.
Jude: I do not blame you. I am sure you tried your hardest. I
am glad I am here now. But I need to know who I was before
this.
Tommy: Jude I don't know if now is the time. Maybe we
should let you adjust first.
Jude: Tommy please. I finally feel at
home but a part of me is still missing. I have missed the last three
years of my life. I need to know please.
Tommy: Ok but its not all
pretty. You have an interesting past to say the least.
Jude: Tell
me.
Tommy: Are you sure you are ready?
Jude: I am ready.
Tommy:
Ok well I can only tell you what I know. Starting with the first day
I met you the rest you will have to ask your family.
Jude: Ok just
tell me what you know.
Tommy: Well……
