The Jonin and Kami Knows Who Else Proudly Present:

The Jonin and Kami Knows Who Else Proudly Present:

A/N: Thanks to gatman800 and Fried Chicken (both anonymous) and everyone else who reviewed. Please keep reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any Christmas carols, so don't sue me please.

Week Two – Shiranui Genma

Click.

"Hey, it's working!" Came the excited voice of Shiranui Genma. The camera wobbled, before focusing blurrily on Genma's face.

"Yes, Genma, it's working." The camcorder turned to face Shizune, reclining on Genma's couch, before doing a close-up on the woman's chest. Shizune gave an indignant snort, making it obvious she knew what the senbon-wielder was doing. "Why don't you go show everyone around?" The camera nodded up and down wildly, and zoomed out again. The camera went through a plain, surprisingly clean hallway, and focused on a flight of stairs.

"Wait, I have stairs?"

"You've walked out of the front door, idiot." Shizune's voice floated back from the lounge. There was a long pause. The camcorder turned to face a brown door with the number '4' in brass stuck on carelessly, almost hanging upside-down.

"Oh, right." Genma walked back into the apartment, filming his own sandal-clad feet. "Okay, then, this is the lounge, you've already seen that, so…how about the kitchen?" The camera bounced over to a door, and Genma's hand reached out, when Shizune spoke again.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

"Right, you still haven't had time to clean up yet?"

"Moving swiftly on, Genma." Shizune's voice held a warning tone. The camera waved up and down in agreement, and Genma panned out over the rest of the corridor.

"How about the bedroom? Is it safe to show everyone that?" Genma asked. Shizune paused for a moment, before answering with:

"Okay, I suppose." The camcorder went through another doorway, leading into a spotless room painted white, sunlight blazing in through a large window in the corner.

In the centre of the room was a bed, neatly made with a rose petal or two littering the floor. The camera swiftly moved over to look out of the window, which had a breathtaking view of Konoha. Genma zoomed in on one of the apartment blocks.

"And that, Ayame, is Kakashi's apartment." A slender finger pointed to the apartment block the camcorder was fixed on. "Kami, I'm going to hell for that." The camera turned to focus on a chest of drawers. "In those drawers, ladies and gentlemen…"

"Don't you dare show everyone where I keep my underwear!" Shizune yelled. The camera in Genma's hand shook in apparent amusement.

"I won't!" He called back, before whispering to the camera: "It's the middle one, there." The camcorder did a close up. "Hey, I can zoom in on things!" Genma said excitedly. A hand appeared, and a finger pressed another button on the side of the camera, which began to play Jingle Bells – very loudly. Genma swore in shock, and dropped the camera. "Ow, my foot! Damn it!" The camcorder began recording the skirting board, Jingle Bells still blaring from it.

"What the hell? Jingle Bells? It's July, Genma!" Shizune exclaimed. Genma swore again.

"I know, I'm working on it." Genma's knee appeared in the frame, and he scrabbled around. There was a beep. "Sorted – oh, fu-" His expletive was cut off by Oh Come All Ye Faithful. Shizune's voice was heard clearly yelling:

"Are camcorders meant to sing?"

"WHAT?" Genma yelled over the music, pressing another button. Away in a Manger began. Genma picked the camera up and banged it against the wall. The picture went blurry, and the Christmas carols stopped. "Shizune, I think the camera's broken – oh, wait…" Genma slammed the camera against the wall once more, and the picture came back into focus.

"Is it fixed?" Shizune asked wearily. Genma paused, recording his foot.

"I think so." He turned the camera upside down and gave it a hard smack. "Yeah, it's working."

"How about going to see the attic?" Shizune suggested. Genma's camcorder bounced up and down as he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, great idea!" The camera's picture went rapidly up and down, over and over, indicating that Genma was running. He stopped, breathing heavily into the sound piece of the camcorder. A large ladder came into view. "Let's see up here! Kami, I haven't looked up here for…four and a half years now." Oblivious to everything but his newfound attic, Genma filming the opening, before throwing the camcorder up. There was a dull clunk of metal on wood, then the camera's focus blurred. A second later, the picture cleared to reveal a stack of boxes.

There was a few seconds of scraping as Genma pulled himself up the ladder after the camcorder, and then, a childish gasp.

"Oh, I forgot all the memories this place has! Like when five years ago, me and Shizune…well, maybe it's best if I don't tell you that, she'll murder me, but still…" He lifted the camera up to regard the boxes, one of which had a strikingly Shizune-shaped dent in it. Genma laughed in apparent wonder. "Wow, the imprint's still there. I wondered if it'd fade in time, but it hasn't! That takes me back to the good old days." Still chuckling to himself, he pointed the camera down to the blue patterned carpet, and began climbing down the ladder once more.

"Genma! Get in here." Shizune called. Genma sighed, seemingly dragging his thoughts from 'the good old days' and back to reality.

"Coming!" He called brightly, muttering under his breath, "What does she want now?"

"I heard that, Genma!" Shizune yelled.

"Whoa, you must have super-hearing or something."

"No, I have the baby monitor on." Shizune said. The camcorder stopped moving, before spinning around wildly, evidently attempting to find said baby monitor. "It's in the closet that you must be standing next to." Genma's hand opened the closet, and sure enough, there was a baby monitor there. Genma picked it up, and spoke through it, after pressing a few random buttons, and hearing a few random beeping noises.

"Don't tell me you bought a baby monitor just to spy on me." He groaned. Shizune laughed.

"Not one baby monitor, two. Now get to the living room." The baby monitor disappeared, presumably into Genma's pocket, and the camcorder began moving again.

"What do you want?" Genma asked when he and the camcorder arrived at the living room. Shizune stood in the centre of the room, hiding something behind her back. She was smiling widely, and she moved forwards.

"Film this moment, Genma, so no one can ever forget it." Shizune brought out a white stick from behind her back. "I'm pregnant." The camera was dropped by a stunned Genma, and it began recording an image of Shizune and Genma's feet.

"Okay, wow…will you marry me?" Genma asked. Shizune answered shakily.

"Yes, of course!" Genma pressed a button on the camera with his foot.

Click.

XOXOX

"Hip-hip…" Gai began.

"…Hooray." The others joined in unenthusiastically, before bursting into a round of applause. Shizune blushed sweetly. She was sitting directly next to Genma on the couch. Everyone crowded round to offer their congratulations, even Kakashi, although he would now undoubtedly face excess attention from Anko as well as Ayame, who had rewinded the tape to the point where Genma pointed out Kakashi's apartment.

"Hayate's turn next week." Asuma reminded everyone, who ignored him. Ayame scribbled down some bearings on her hand in biro.

Neither Genma nor Kakashi bothered telling her the place she was obsessing over wasn't actually the Copy-nin's residence. Genma because he was too busy thanking people and kissing Shizune, and Kakashi because he thought the real owner of the apartment's reaction would be amusing.

XOXOX

"Kakashi, get your ass out here right now!" Kakashi rolled out of his bed and glanced at the clock: twenty-two minutes and eighteen seconds past three. But who was being precise? He knew who the caller was anyway, and his educated guess was backed up by a fearful squeak from a woman he recognised as Ayame.

Kakashi opened his door.

"Ibiki, what brings you to my door at this hour?" Morino Ibiki, ignoring the fact Kakashi had no mask on, glared very hard at Ayame, who quivered; perhaps due to the fact that Konoha's best torturer had hold of her neck, and was threatening to apply pressure.

"She appeared at my window not half an hour ago, trying to force the window open. When I awoke and accosted her, she said something about thinking it was your apartment. So I brought her here in the hope she would not bother me again." With that, Ibiki dropped Ayame, and turned to leave.

"Nice of you to torture me as well, Ibiki. You really are a master." Kakashi muttered. Had he thought this would be amusing? Oh, yeah. Was it? Hell, no. Well, actually…

Ayame stared at Kakashi, who had collapsed against the doorframe in a fit of helpless laughter. She rubbed her neck. Why was he laughing? Was he laughing at her? The petite ramen waitress could do no more than speculate, seeing as Kakashi was in no position to speak, let alone answer any questions put to him.

"Kakashi-sempai…" She hesitated until he looked up at her expectantly, still trying to repress his laughter. "…I'll be going home, then…" Kakashi nodded, and Ayame scuttled away. It was only after she was back at Ichiraku Ramen that she realised she had seen Kakashi's face, and that she had been given an opportunity to stake out his house, but due to Ibiki's stranglehold, she had not been able to work out where she was. In fact, she'd only managed to find her way back to her home by sheer luck and signposts. Damn it!

Meanwhile, Kakashi stayed outside on his doorstep, laughing his way to frostbite which he would no doubt make Sakura heal.