Author's Note: Woah. It's been awhile. I was gunna drop the story all together until I got some loving fan-reviews about how I was to be pelted if I didn't continue. Oscar-is-a-circle, Calm Yourself, love!! I PROMISE. I'll finish what I started! Eventually. Mwa! New policy—I need you guys to prove you love me! 3 new reviews for the story to progress! I need to know what you guys think! your opinion matters (pssh!) )
Artemis was growing tired as the body he resided in slowly but surely began to wither away. He was dying- for a second time. Artemis groaned deeply.
"Holly? Are you sure this is going to work?"
Holly grunted lifting the mysteriously large black bag. "Of course it will work!...I came up with it."
Artemis almost smiled, "You know, Hol- that isn't really fool-proof. No offense or anything…"
Holly threw the bag onto the ground and it's contents shuffled in protest.
"What's in there anyway?" Artemis asked suddenly feeling a tad ill.
"-Trust me. It's best you don't know."
Artemis couldn't help but let his mind wander. The book had said something about a sacrifice. If not a live one- then a sacrifice (as in- someone losing something dear to them) would suffice, no? Artemis found himself thinking much like he had on the train. A thought process that had literally killed him. What would you die for? His mind pressed. What means the most to you? For what would you make the ultimate sacrifice? He looked up at Holly and stared at her to until she stared back.
Holly recognized Artemis' "planning" face when she saw it.
"Artemis," she whined, "don't think. Can you do us that favor? Thinking is bad for you."
Artemis grinned but decided to press the matter with her. If anyone would listen, it would be her. "I have an…idea." He admitted without expression.
"No. I don't want to hear it. This," she said pointing to the wiggling bag strewn across the floor, "is my idea. And we're using it, you hear? God know if I left the planning up to you- you'd probably come out with some more 'self-sacrifice' nonsense that you've been spewing lately."
"It's all about self-sacrifice, Holly. Don't you see? Giving up what matters most to you- for someone else…"
"Artemis! Stop! Stop." She said raising her hands, "…please. You're giving me-"
"Gifts? Tokens of my love?" he said smiling.
"A headache. What are you-? Your life? As a gift? Yes. Exactly." She said sarcastically, "And what am I supposed to give you, huh? Since we're giving each other these "gifts". I don't if you realized, but it's very difficult to top that sort of present."
"You don't have to give me anything, you- silly thing, you. I just want you to understand that I'm not as selfish as I used to be."
"Artemis!" Holly said hoping to wake him to his senses, " You don't need to prove to me that you're a good man. I know that already. No more presents. You- you don't owe me anything."
"Holly. I need to do this. And you need to let me. 'A life for a life', remember? Well… they didn't specify who's…life…they meant…." Artemis said pausing to test the waters.
Holly's face was blank. Her body was still. The calm before the storm. "…Excuse you? Are you actually suggesting you off yourself?" her cheeks blushed madly. Well…not exactly blushed. Perhaps turned red to match her fury, would be more appropriate. But Artemis liked to think she was blushing.
"Did we not learn our lesson? Are you HONESTLY telling me you want to drag your ass BACK TO HELL where you JUST LEFT?" she fumed.
"You're being," he said, "the opposite of helpful."
"No, no, no, NO! Artemis. No! Do you understand? No. I can't say this any other way. Am I getting through your obese skull? God for freaking bid it doesn't work. What then? Huh?"
-noted silence-
"My point exactly! Ugh! Bastard! You're supposed to be my friend."
"Friend? I thought we we're more than-"
Holly was too enraged to be listening and Artemis took her silence as Holly's way of saying 'you thought wrong.'
"Well! Maybe, I want to be more than just- friends" Artemis added, suddenly jealous of No.1's all-too-innocent gestures.
"What? What's that supposed to mean?"
"NO.1 is what it means!" Artemis said.
"Oh my god, you're high. Oh. My God. Take a seat- right now. This is why you're acting like a suicidal mess?!"
"Holly. Don't be angry- but you'll thank me for this later."
Holly was still. "What did you do?"
"I told No.1 you had a very complicated sexual disorder."
"You're telling people I have an STD?"
"It's for you own good!" Artemis said- his own temper rising.
"My own good?! What good will this do?"
Holly flung the bag at Artemis. Good thing when Holly's anger blinded her- her aim went to shit. "What are you telling me, Artemis?! You better have a good reason for doing this!"
"I'm saying, you twit, like I've said before- It means that I love you. It means I've always have loved you. Since I was literally, like- twelve years old."
"You- You- "
"Told you this?" Artemis asked, "Yes. Yes, I have."
"Artemis," she said shaking her head, "You never said- you never said-"
"-We were together? Well. I'm saying it now. We're together," he pouted for good measure.
"Artemis, I already figured we were together! It goes without saying! You don't need to go around telling No.1 to stay away from me because I'm some kind of hepatitis infested freak just because you're jealous!"
"But you never actually said-"Artemis added innocently
"I've only dropped a million hints, idiot!"Holly yelled
"Fine! You take your route of fixing the problem- and I'll take mine."
"Fine! Qwan will never let you pull a stunt like that again, you self-less thing!"
"Fine."
Holly threw the bag over her shoulder and hauled it into Qwan's study. Artemis imagined this scene a dozen times, but never quite like this. In his mind, the day he asked Holly to be with him she'd confess she's secretly loved him forever, too and then they'd end up passionately kissing and such…
Not Holly flinging a forty pound squirming garbage bag filled with God-knows-what at his face.
Ugh, he thought to himself. I'm worse than Trouble.
xxxxxxxxxx
Holly threw herself into the seat next to No.1 as they both waited in the cluttered study for Qwan to emerge for the "Forbidden Hall of Dark Magic Study," which stopped being so 'forbidden' when Qwan found Holly and No.1 playing Craps with his collection of human teeth last year. No.1 shifted uncomfortably next to Holly.
"Shut up." Holly yelled at him; already know what he was thinking.
"I didn't say anything!"
"Yeah… but you thought something." Holly said, still defensive.
"…No," he lied, "I didn't think anything"
Holly narrowed her lids and glanced dirtily at the young warlock. No.1 stared back. Holly reached over him to grab a European Witchcraft magazine with a special on Necromancy (the practice of conjuring the spirits of the dead for divination or prophecy) Author: I'm so proud of myself for finding this! No.1 flinched at her hands at scooted about a foot away.
"What's your problem!"Holly asked stunned.
"You could give me what ever you have!"
"Why! You ignorant little!-" she pressed her fingers into her eyes, "I don't have anything!"
"But Artemis said-" No.1 said defending himself.
"Forget what that horny animal said to you!-"
Qwan appeared silently at the door holding an armful of spells and what looked like a beer and bottle of meds for headache relief.
"I DON'T HAVE A STD!" Holly finished angrily, impressed with herself that she didn't throw anything.
"And I don't have a left testicle, Holly- but I'm quite sure you didn't want to know that either" Qwan said making his silent entrance known.
"Sorry, Qwan," the couple on the couch said simultaneously; both embarrassed at the news of the horrible situation Qwan's lonely right genital must feel.
Artemis popped a head in from the foyer Holly had just left. "What's this about testicles?" he asked, almost fearing the answer.
"I don't have two," Qwan said curtly, obviously in a state that already accepted his situation.
"That's…" Artemis said smirking, "disappointing."
"Is there anything else I can clear up for you gentlemen, or are we finished discussing my body?" Qwan said suddenly serious. "Get in here boy, we have matters to discuss."
"Like I haven't heard that before," Artemis muttered and tried, unsuccessfully, to squeeze next to Holly, who pushed him off the couch forcing him to take the large recliner- on the other side of the room.
"Okay." The older warlock said in a manner that was anything but calm. We have three hours and I sent you ladies away to come up with ideas. So let's hear it."
Artemis was curious to hear what everyone else came up with. He figured his idea was going to win.
No.1 cleared his throat and Artemis noticed him for the first time. Sitting next to Holly.
"Okay," Artemis sighed, giving in, "…it better not be stupid though."
"Yeah," Holly grumbled, "We wouldn't want to waste people's time with stupid ideas." Did she actually have the nerve to imply his idea was stupid?
"Okay." No.1 breathed, "I think- I think we should get some more advice on the matter."
"No!" Artemis half-yelled, "We don't have time! That's stupid!"
"Enough with the 'stupid'!" Qwan scolded. "Suggestions are never stupid!"
"And," No.1 continued quietly, "I think we should take the life of something that's already dying. As not to waste a perfectly healthy someone." (…which is stupid).
"Artemis! I can hear your thoughts. No.1, your suggestion is stupid." Qwan said bluntly.
"But you just said-"
"I thought the advice part was good- if that makes you feel better," Qwan said encouragingly. Almost.
"Holly," Artemis spat lovingly, "let's hear your idea."
Holly cocked a brow and turned to Qwan. "I… figured that we could use Vacuus Voluntas Spirits."
Artemis stared at the bag, "-What's that?"
"They're spirits," Holly explained.
"I figured."
"Vacuus Voluntas Spirits," Qwan explained to Artemis, "are spirits that ultimately have no reason on this earth. They have no message to convey to a loved one, no unfinished business… generally they don't even realize they are dead. It means Without Purpose in Latin."
"Yeah?" Holly said feigning interest.
Artemis nodded. He studied Latin in fifth grade and was now fluent in the dead language. Plus, Qwan was clear enough explanation-wise.
The bag shifted uncomfortably as if it had overheard the conversation.
Artemis wasn't sure if he was more scared of the bag when he hadn't known what was in it- or if he was more terrified now that he knew.
"We won't deal with that spirit unless we need to," Qwan said with a dead expression, as if reading Artemis' thoughts.
"Advice!" Qwan offered suddenly cheerful (in a delightfully fake way). "We need Advice. Zefferend. Yes. He'll do," he muttered. Qwan picked up his work and retreated back to the Hall, "Holly," he called "…that's your job.
"Hey! You didn't get to hear my idea, yet," Artemis called after him.
Holly appeared at his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. She spoke to him all the while with a sarcastic smile playing on her mouth. "-That's probably for the better."
