Dr. Ulof Zefferend was a Professor of Physics at the Technical College of Bingen, West Germany. Holly spent ten minutes wondering why she was here. Three minutes plotting Artemis' death. And the remainder of her time wondering if Dr. Zefferend was a man- or a woman.
"They have shown us wit, personality, memory and an active mind. They are as much 'alive' now as when they had physical bodies—"
Oh my God. This 'thing' hasn't stopped talking since I walked through into this god forsaken cubicle.
"Another is a Hamburg steam engineer who died in 1959. He told us to give greetings to his wife, calling her by the special nickname, 'Little Dwarf.' And when we gave her the message, she told us it was a very personal nickname known only to her and her husband. She took it as proof that the person who contacted us was indeed her dead husband-"
Jesus. He's/She's never going to stop talking.
"I once tried to arrange a 3 PM conversation with one," he/she said. "He told me that was impossible because he had no concept of time or distance. And one day I received a bizarre communication from a female spirit. I was wearing a gold chain around my neck rather than the silver one I usually wear," he/she recalled. "Then suddenly a young women's voice spoke through the machine. 'There is a gold chain around your neck today - not a silver one', she said. "I have been observing you."
I'm going to have to kill him and escape.
(She finally decided it was male- ruling out the breasts as simply an unfortunate place he just so happened to store fat. The face-stubble was ruling out the purse- which could very simply be a man-purse. And the eye-liner…well- she wasn't creative enough to come with an excuse for that. It was the balding head that won her over.)
"The voices of the dead are about twice the speed of normal human speech and they have a rhythm that is different from our own - almost a flat monotone-" he continued.
Should I hit him until he shuts up? With what? A fire-extinguisher?
"In the spirit world, there is no concept of time or distance and no need for food. Spirits can observe the living and perform such feats as reading books without opening them. Haha! Kinda Like-"
I'll kill Artemis. That's what I'll do.
"With those funny little hats! But it's worth it, of course. My job is just so rewarding-"
First this guy, then Artemis, then myself. Two murders and a well-deserved suicide. I'll tell Artemis it's MY gift to HIM.
"It's like something out of a friggin' Silent Hill game, you know!? You know?"
…Maybe he isn't a 'he'. Holly said studying Dr. Zefferend closer. Should I ask? …Oh dear. He's stopped talking. Did he ask me something? Shit. I should be paying closer attention.
Holly figured she better not chance it- so she smiled and nodded- which seemed appropriate. And appropriate it was, for Zefferend laughed and continued with his story. Holly figured it couldn't get any worse.
"-Dying tragically young, Mary left her husband grief-strickened and heartbroken. Her strong ties with the town of Silent Hill are shrouded in mystery, but with an affinity for the Lakeview Hotel - her and James' "Special Place" - could it be that Mary has chosen Silent Hill has her final resting place? I have no clue either!" he subsided into a fit of giggles.
What is he even talking about?
Holly cracked up. Not because of what he said, but because his shirt button popped and he caught her staring at his chest. –She was looking for a bra.
"Where was I?" Zefferend asked itself, "Oh! They have shown us wit, personality, memory and an active mind. They are as much 'alive' now as when they had physical bodies—"
Oh my god. Oh no. I've heard this before! It IS getting worse! He's starting All. Over. Again. No. NO- I can't allow this. I'll kill myself!
"Ahem," Holly cleared her throat, "Doctor, we're on quite a tight schedule. Perhaps, you'd like to come help us with the resurrection? We certainly could use your expertise."
Zefferend smiled. "Let me just grab my purse."
xxxxxxxxxx
"He's creepy!" Holly explained to Artemis who was surprised how quickly she had forgotten the fight.
"…More androgynous than creepy."
"Androgynous is creepy! Men should look like men and women should like women!"
"Says the woman with abs, biceps, and a crop cut"
"And C-cup breasts!"
Qwan appeared from behind her, "What is wrong with you? Every time I walk into a room with you- you feel the need to embarrass yourself."
Artemis giggled. Giggled. And shook his head in disappointment.
Zefferend appeared in the study stepping over piles of paper-work that Qwan had neglected since Artemis had done him the favor of spewing them right and left. Artemis whistled, "You weren't joking," he whispered into Holly's pointed ear. "Geez," Artemis muttered.
Qwan laughed, "Yeah, she's a real piece of ass."
"Go get some," Holly hissed. All the while thinking '…she?'
Artemis man-strided over to Zefferend and calmly explained the predicament. When he was finished, Zefferend disappeared into the Forbidden Hall (which Qwan noticed was becoming less and less respected) and Artemis made his way back to the couches.
"We have an hour, Artemis. One. Hour." Qwan reminded in a way that was anything, but gentle. "…Oh. I called Mulch. He's going to help us get you to the surface."
Mulch appeared in the doorway.
"Oh, it's you," Artemis said jokingly bothered.
"Aygh! It's you!" Mulch said happily, "…what's wrong with your face?"
Artemis poked at his face. The skin was literally sagging off his face, his eyes were tired, and he actually felt a tear in his cheek where his bone was most probably visible. Artemis pet his cheek fondly, "Shut up."
