Chapter 19-
Mulch led his group to the requested location and took his leave saying he wanted no part in such a matter. He explained that a group of friends of his (Um, I swear this was, uh, my friends) had once called upon a malicious spirit during the proceedings of a bull-crap seance. He was specifically told not to mess with things like that. Which, of course, was exactly why they (Ahem, he) did it. It didn't take long for things to get out of control. They started asking some very personal questions. And well- let's just say whatever they called beared some serious grudges. Point is, Mulch's weekly earnings took mysterious dips. Apparently, the "spirit" had a sense of humor. Mulch, however, was not amused. He was not prepared to risk another financial disturbance. Artemis understood.
Qwan ushered them to a relatively desolate wooded area, around a relatively large tree stump, in a relatively normal forest. Relatively.
What wasn't normal about the woods was the faint galloping coming from the trees directly behind Artemis. Which everyone no doubt ably heard- yet no one mentioned. There was also the small matter of the wooden gallows in the distance. Qwan had explained the abandoned execution sight was used to punish men from Lakeview Prison. Half of which were not responsible for their crimes. As a matter of fact, that was about the same time Mulch decided to take his leave. (Irony: Mulch had spent 7 years in the prison for crime he actually had committed.)
"Never heard of it," Mulch said tonelessly.
Artemis was about 50 feet behind everyone else- as usual. How dare they force me to exert myself, he thought to himself as he carefully avoided yet another tree branch.
Holly beckoned to Artemis, suggesting he join them sometime soon.
Artemis felt the weight of his slacks drag him down. He pet his bulge fondly. Sorry, buddy, he apologized to his crotch. He yelped as the dagger in his pocket threatened to destroy his manhood, yet again.
Holly dropped the writhing bag onto the ground. It was becoming testy. She couldn't quite blame it.
Holly made her way over to Artemis. She caught up with him in literally no time, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You look so adorable trudging along all slow-like" she said with a tone that made him wonder if she meant it or not. "Just wanna break your neck," she finished fondly.
"That's... sweet. But if you really want to help-" Artemis said whimpering as the knife grazed him. He shifted uncomfortably to avoid the tip. As it's human nature to put your hands where it hurts, Artemis looked for all th world like he was adjusting himself- or fondling himself- or whatever the reason half the male population feels the need to stick their hands in their pants. Holly noticed his pants jutting out at an uncomfortable length for her, and no doubt for him too.
"Artemis," she blushed, "er- What are you doing exactly?"
"Protecting my family jewels," he grunted standing at an awkward angle. Holly harrumphed at the innuendo as he fumbled in his deep pockets for a moment searching for whatever was making him uncomfortable. Holly was almost scared of what he might pull out.
"Relax," he said cooly, pulling out the handle of the knife so she can examine it. He had the nerve to laugh.
Artemis made light of the situation, but in reality- this was pretty serious. He was not going back to how he was before. Before, when he was that -thing- he couldn't taste- or smell, or touch. How was he just- not supposed to touch things? Did she honestly think he was going to willingly give up the feeling? Even though it was sort of sick, he was having a ball touching himself. Pardon the pun. Just being able to feel again. I mean, when he felt things before, Holly in particular, it just- didn't seem right. Like, fitting a puzzle piece with another it obviously didn't belong with. Or- more accurately, like hugging someone from behind bars. It felt like...restraint. Like the gap between them was too wide to ever fill. Even though they were just inches apart. If he had to remain dead he'd kill himself. Artemis chuckled at himself. You're so clever! He praised.
"Oh. Lordy. What could you possibly find funny about this, you sick little thing?" Holly flushed, anger in her face. "You ungrateful ass! How could you?"
Holly tried a different approach. "How can you ask me to watch this?"
He never thought about that...
Could he really force her to stand by as he took his own life?
"Close your eyes," he shrugged.
"Artemis!" she hissed.
"Holly," he cooed.
She dug her nails into his forearm- it was moist, and literally sagged under her touch. He was falling apart. "Please," Holly begged, "And leave your crotch alone. You look like you're playing with something you shouldn't be." Artemis smirked and followed Holly to the clearing. Not before stumbling over two tree roots, a rock, and on several occasions, his own feet- but that was to be expected considering he had less grace than a drunk recovering from head trauma.
When everyone was present. Qwan proceeded to tell the history of the woods. Mulch stumbled over to Artemis before promising to leave.
"Listen," Mulch whispered in a way that was by no means silent, "I heard Holly has an STD, is that true?"
"Totally true," Artemis assured him. Holly felt her mouth pop open in shock.
"How bad?" Mulch winked at Holly.
"It's a real nasty one. Trust me, you don't want to go anywhere near her. Things will drop off you. I'm not kidding."
"Thanks for the heads up," Mulch smiled knowing his friend was anything but disease-ridden, "I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but who needs that shit?"
"Mulch, shut up," Holly spoke up defending herself, "you won't have to worry about your balls dropping off if I force you to eat them."
"S'yuuppp. She's a keeper. I'll just be on my way. Later, Artemis, Holls-"Mulch kissed Artemis' hand theatrically and dove face first into the soil. Holly would have back-handed Artemis in the mouth, if the weapon in his pocket hadn't rode up against her at that exact moment, reminding her of why they were here.
Qwan, No.1, Artemis and Holly sat around the stump focusing on the matter at hand.
"We only have three chances," Qwan explained, "...you guys only came up with three ideas."
Artemis sat on the stump as the three gathered around him. Artemis tore at a loose stretch of skin that pulled off him in a long strip. Artemis shivered as the skin reminded him, nauseatingly enough, of the stringed cheese he used to eat when he was younger.
Holly furrowed her brows, "Don't do that!" she scolded.
"You're ruining the plan," Qwan explained, "You're body needs to be intact."
"Who's plan?" Artemis asked not seeing the relevance, "No.1's, Holly's, or mine?"
"You're so talented, you're wrecking all three. Now what's next?" Holly asked.
"Wait. What if none of them work?" Artemis asked craftily trying to stick the skin back where it belonged.
"Then, that's it, Artemis," Qwan said sadly, "No more chances. You're reduced to the spirit world."
"Mmhmm... makes sense," Artemis said calmly.
"How much time do we have?" Holly asked studying Artemis, who was licking his skin and trying to spit-glue it back to his arm.
"-20 minutes. Tops" Qwan said understanding, "So you two have ten minutes to talk this out. Alone." he said- eyes widening to a disturbing size so that No.1 would get the hint. They both shuffled to the gallows to discuss the morbidity of 18th century discipline.
Holly watched them go and, when it was safe, she turned to Artemis. He was peeling more skin. "Stop trying to discourage me," Artemis pouted without even glancing upward.
"I wasn't going to!" Holly exclaimed.
"I," Artemis said chuckling to himself, "am not talking about this."
"Oh. You can talk when it comes to the dysfunction of my sex organs, alright. But when it comes to whether or not you will live to see tomorrow, you 'don't want to talk about it."
"I mean, sure, there are a lot of things I never got to do-"
"How did you always picture yourself dying? Certainly not by your own goddamn hands! I mean, honestly, they were just down your pants five minutes ago. Have some decency."
"You're not doing anything to change my mind, my dear," he sung. "Do you realize this could be the last time you talk to me?...in a very long time?"
Holly averted her eyes. "Of course, I realize," she said getting angry with herself.
Artemis half-smirked and then looked back down, "...I saw myself. Getting- shot, for some reason. Probably because most of my dealings have to do with gangsters and pimps. They always seem to have guns on them for some reason." Artemis said cocking a brow in mock ponder.
Holly weighed the satisfaction breaking his wrists right now, and the consequences of breaking his wrists right now. "Why- Why do you do this to me?" Holly said sinking to her knees to get a better look at him. "Artemis," she said "you need to learn your actions have consequences." (Haha. Irony. Again.)
"What do you mean?" Artemis asked suddenly nervous. "Nobody wants to actually reap what they sow."
"Well, babe, it's time you learned. You didn't think I was actually going to wait to be with you, right? Heavens! I'll be all- old by that time. No. If I can't you can't be with me- then I guess I'll just have to come to you," she said a smiling playing on her lips. Now who's the suicidal jerk?
"Holly!" he said waking from his normally placid personality, "Shut up! ...Sorry. No. No! I meant it! Be quiet! Don't... Don't talk like that! I would never have you suffer through that. Just because I tell people you have an STD? -That's because I don't want other people touching you. Don't you understand?"
Sneaky treacherous bastard! Holly thought fervently. She kissed him as gently as she knew how. Placing butterfly-kisses along the saggy skin on his neck, the saggy skin on his forehead, the saggy skin on his jaw-line...
It was gross, but she took it like a man. Artemis smiled and appreciated the gesture. Even if she was gagging the whole time...
"Holly," he said a little disappointed, "a hug will suffice."
"No!" she mumbled against his collar-bone.
"Alritey then," he said raising his eyebrows, "just don't tear anything."
Holly smirked and continued tracing his chin, when Qwan tapped her from behind.
"Hate to interrupt...again," Qwan spoke making eye contact with Artemis. Artemis shrugged his shoulders and clung tighter to Holly. He had a thing for disobedience.
"Shut up. Go away" Holly managed.
"Holly, We-"
Artemis kissed her forehead and then her lips. "Be gentle," he murmured, still lip-locked to the elf, "No biting." So much for that warning. "I'm serious, Holly! Don't rip anything off! I need it!" She laughed. She never imagined she would ever actually be warned not to rip anything off before.
"Holly," Qwan whined.
She never took her lips off the boy. "What?"
"...We're out of time."
