Disclaimer: To my own disbelief and pure greediness, I sadly don't own Twilight/New Moon characters, Miss Stephenie Meyer does.
"Bella?" he asked.
I gulped, "Hey Dad, uh… can you take the kids for awhile?"
I looked confused, "Uh sure, of course Bells."
Madeline and Mason went inside, their backpacks on their backs as they headed for the kitchen table, before though I gave them each a kiss and hugged them.
"Hey kids just sit at the table, I'll grab you something to eat…" he yelled down the hallway to them.
He came back to the door, I was still outside.
"Bella is there something wrong?" he whispered.
"Uh it's nothing Dad, I just have to talk to Jacob…" I said.
"Oh, well he left this note for you, he said to tell you he'd knew you'd come by here."
He handed me a note from his pocket, it was white and said Bells on the outside.
"Just let me know if you need any help Bella, and I'll keep the kids tonight if you need." Charlie answered.
I looked down at the note, clenching it in my hands, "Thanks Dad, I'll let you know." I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you Dad."
"I love you too Bells."
I went to my car, I started it and made a u-turn, not wanting to head home, where most likely Jacob was waiting.
I stopped on the side of the road where it was pure forest and trees on both sides.
I carefully opened the note and read it through my tears.
Bells, I am so sorry. You know how difficult this is, and the decision that was made was the most difficult I've ever made, by far. It was in yours, and the kids' best interest. I knew you'd bring the kids to Charlie's, so I dropped this note off. I understand you're hurt, I am so hurt and disgusted with myself. I promise to watch over you and Madeline and Mason. When you have the beautiful baby girl, I hope you know I'm there in spirit. Remember, my heart always belongs to you, and I do love you Bella. You must understand. Please keep in touch with at least Sam and Emily, I do want to hear about you and Madeline and Mason. Please forgive me in any way. I understand if you don't want to see me, but after I know your gone I'll see the kids and tell the goodbye at Charlie's so you don't have to see it happen. Please remember I love you and the kids. Be safe, keeper of my heart. Jake.
I cupped my hand to my mouth and breathed, trying to control the sobs now coming out. It felt as if I was dead… no one was there to love me, my children would be raised with no father.
I started the car again and kept driving, I just went straight, I knew I'd make it into Port Angeles, but I stopped on the side of the empty free way. I sat there and cried for an hour. I looked out again to see it was crystal dark, the rain was coming down hard. I tried to start my car but it wouldn't catch… great, just what I needed. The time read 8:00pm, no one was usually traveling the freeway at this time.
With no cell phone, I felt so trapped, so hurt. I sat there and sulked… my tears were my only comfort. My heart was broken, it belonged to no one except my children.
From the rear view mirror I saw a car's speeding lights. With no attempt to stop it, I just sat, hoping it would pass, but it speed in front of me, stopping. I sat up in my seat, I redid my ponytail and kept wiping my eyes, the note was folded and put into the compartment next to me.
The stranger got out of the car, as I was just about to, the rain somehow subsided, it was only dripping here or there. I didn't recognize the face, but I recognized the car, a brand new Volvo…
I sighed as I just waited for Edward to approach me. He saw me and didn't say hello, he just
said "Alice saw you." He stared into my eyes, I couldn't control my actions, I walked over to him and he hugged me, I started to cry into his chest, he just held me there, saying 'it's okay'.
It started to rain again, I just stood there crying, Edward's firm grip around me.
He led me to his car, sitting me in the passenger seat, he grabbed my car keys, placing them as I saw from his rear view mirror in my driver's seat, he got out a cell phone, speaking quickly and incoherently. He got into his side, starting the car and headed back towards my house, he suggested no hint of a conversation, and I had no words to say, not even any tears to cry.
He pulled up to Charlie's house, I looked over at him, he looked into my eyes…
"Your car will be here in a few minutes, "he said with concern, he didn't seem angry.
"Thank you Edward…" I whispered.
"I'll be watching out for you Bella, you must know that." He said, again with more concern.
"Somehow…" I whispered, "I knew that." I got out of the shiny new car and headed into Charlie's living room. The kids were asleep on the couch, Charlie was just watching TV.
He came up to me and hugged me, "Do you want to stay over here tonight?" he asked.
I sniffed, "Uh yea that would be great, I'll just put these two to bed in my old bedroom."
I grabbed Mason as he went and picked up Madeline, we headed upstairs, and for as small as they were, they fit perfectly together in my old bed, it still held my old computer, and same rocking chair.
I kissed them both goodnight and went downstairs with Charlie.
"Bella, you go sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch, don't worry."
"Charlie, no, you're back will annoy you in the morning, and it's fine, besides I can't move when I sleep, I have my stomach blocking me." I grinned.
"Alright, but if you need to, just wake me up, I'll move down here and take some pain for you." He smiled then kissed the top of my head, "Good night Bells."
"Good night Dad." I whispered.
"Oh hey, Dad?" I asked silently.
"Yea?" he turned around.
"Did uh Jake come by while I was out?"
"Uh yes he did, he hung out with the kids for quite a bit, then left."
"Oh… uh okay. Thanks, alright good night." He went upstairs.
I turned out all the lights, the moon was lighting up the room, I walked over to the window, to see my car parked on the curb.
I silently opened the front door, trying not to wake anyone, and went out to the car, to see the keys sitting on my seat.
I went to the driver's seat and got in, carefully starting the car and headed off towards my house, to see all my lights on, and Jacob's car outside.
I parked on the curb, not next to Jacob's car, and headed inside, I was shaking so hard when I went to open the front door.
Jacob was sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, his head turned quickly towards me.
I was still wearing the sweat suit, and black trench coat. He shot up quickly but didn't move, neither did I.
"Bella I… I thought about things." He whispered.
I just stared at him, trying not to cry.
"It was so hard saying good bye to the kids tonight… for them not to understand, to not say 'see you later'.
"I… I want to stay here, help you raise the kids."
I finally blinked, "No Jake, I can't let you do that."
He felt shocked, I could tell, "But Bella, I…"
"I've been thinking too Jacob, and although it was hard for me to think this, I think it would be easier if you never saw the kids again. I mean, how will they understand that Dad's in love with someone else and you can't see him ever again?"
"Bella I…"
"No Jacob and everyone here in Forks will be thinking, Charlie will want to shoot you Jake, don't you understand. You're only safe on the reservation, where you'll stay."
"Bella…" he tried again.
"Jacob, it was so… so hard for me to do this, but I think you should fake…."
"….fake what Bella?" he sounded angry.
"your death, it will be tough," I cried, "but it would be what's best for the kids and everyone here who doesn't know."
"But Bella, I mean no, that means I'll never see the kids again, never see you."
"Jake, I don't want it either, but think about the kids, as soon as they're older, we could tell them, If I ever allow myself to tell them, let you see them, but I think it's in the best interest towards the kids."
He started to walk towards me, but I took steps back. He stopped.
"Is that really what you want, Bella, really?"
I cried, "Of course not, but I'm thinking about the kids, your kids, my kids! I would never want them thinking their dad didn't love them enough to even live here, and never let them see him. They'll get older and ask questions, it would be better to just let them think you're gone, gone forever. It's also what's best… for the baby. To let her think her dad died but he did want to be there."
"Bella… if that's what you think, we can stage it…" he sounded hurt.
"It's what I want, Jake." I said it while looking down.
He came over towards me in three long strides, he lifted me chin.
"Can I at least have one last kiss before I die?" he said with hurt and yet a laugh.
I sighed as he leaned in towards me.
The kiss was so full of hurt, yet raging passion; the hurt increased it, intensifying it from an unknown level of passion. He kept kissing me, as my hands traveled to his hair, he moved my body as close to his as he could allow. He felt around my back as I finally stopped.
I cried, practically sobbed as he leaned down to kiss me again. I stopped him.
"No Jake, it's time for you to go."
He looked down, so full of hurt. He grabbed his picture that was of us, on our wedding day, and another picture of Madeline and Mason, also the ultrasound of our daughter.
He looked down as he spoke, "These are just copies, my stuff is still here, just in case the police get suspicious of anything. " He sighed.
"I love you Bella." He looked up.
I sighed and stopped crying, except a tear escaped, "I love you too."
He left through the front door, I heard his car start and back up, I looked up at the clock, reading 12am.
I went out to the car and headed a mile towards Charlie's; I flipped the car around so it faced the way it was before I left.
I locked the car then headed inside, it was still dark, and I went and layed on the couch, I was one hundred percent sure I cried myself to sleep that night, with no blanket, no covers, no one beside me.
Author's Note: Well, it's official, we're only hours upon Breaking Dawn's arrival, and wow, I'm excited.
But as much as I love this series and want to know what's going to happen, I'll be waiting Saturday
late morning to go grab my book. Starting at Barnes and Noble, the hunt will being, ha ha :)
No midnight parites for me, I had a 'crappy' time sleeping last night and I'm tired, not to mention
I wasn't planning on any parties anyways. If you are going to a party though, have fun and stay safe :)
Other than that, I hope you're enjoying the story, although it doesn't compare in anyways to Breaking Dawn,
I'll even agree with you on that one.
Till Then, Elizabeth
