Disclaimer: To my own disbelief and pure greediness, I sadly don't own Twilight/New Moon characters, Miss Stephenie Meyer does.
On that Monday, I decided with as much thought, to get back to normal life, the way I'd rather have it. Jacob was now 'officially' gone, and that was something that maybe time could heal.
I woke the kids up at 6:45am on Monday morning, getting them dressed. Madeline and Mason were so confused, theirs minds were somewhere else. They both came down the stairs, wearing what they'd worn to the funeral. I stared at them at shock, praying to God they didn't pick that out for school.
"Madeline, Mason, why are you wearing that?"
Madeline spoke, "Well it makes me think of Daddy," she answered.
I stared at her with awe, Mason shook his head. "Yea Mommy, you said if we were black people know we're thinking about him." He said proudly.
I smiled, "Yea, black does that to people, but you aren't wearing your funeral clothes to school, okay?" I smiled down at them.
I walked up the stairs with them as I followed them to their rooms, picking out a nice black shirt and jeans for Mason and the same for Madeline, only a sweater.
I quickly got dressed as well, wearing a black sweater and dark-tint jeans, wearing black flats.
I put on my black trench coat and helped the kids with theirs. We then headed off to school.
I led them to their actual classrooms; theirs teachers were surprised to see us.
I just smiled and kissed and hugged them both, they joined their classmates, and I walked to up to their teachers, who also gave me deep sympathies. I told them if there were any problems to call me at home, and I'll come over. The teachers quickly said 'yes, of course we will, Mrs. Black'.
I walked back out to the car, Cheryl was walking her children to the front door of the school, and she saw me. She smiled and gave me a wave; I smiled back and looked down, heading back to my car.
I drove back home, cleaning up around the house, picking up toys, storing food, and listening to sympathy messages left by phone. It seemed that everyone called. The phone rang while I was listening, and I decided to pick it up, it was Emily.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey Bella, its Emily." The voice answered.
"Oh uh, hey Emily."
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry about all of this with Jake, and how I practically ignored your phone call that day."
"Emily, it's ok, I'm guessing you already knew and didn't want to have to explain it to me."
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry again, Sam was right there, telling me not to say anything, and I promise, I was the only one to know… I felt so sorry, you have no idea Bella." She sounded sorry.
"Emily, don't worry."
"So how did it feel to go through all of the funeral proceedings and such?"
"To tell you the truth, I cried the whole time, it was… so hard on the kids, but I think they're coming around, they're so young, they'll finally understand given time."
"Oh yes, of course, just give it time. You know, I must tell you, when you were walking away from the funeral, holding Madeline and Mason's hands, you reminded me of a picture I saw in grade school, of Jacqueline Kennedy and her two young ones."
I paused, registering what she said, recalling that very picture. With her two kids, she was a role model, especially now to me. How could I forget, how interesting it was for her to say that.
"Oh Bella, I'm sorry did I hit a nerve, I didn't mean it like that…"
"No it's ok Emily I was just remembering that picture."
"Oh alright, well Bella I'll let you get back to what you were doing."
I sighed. "Oh yes, well thank you Emily, for your support."
"Any time Bella, and remember call me anytime or Sam, we're still here for you, which by the way Christmas is in two weeks, did you want to come over, it's just Sam and I and the kids."
I gasped, "Oh gosh, Christmas? I… I forgot. Oh I'm sorry Emily, but I think it will just be us three this year."
"That's no problem Bella, maybe New Years' then, anyways, I have to go, bye Bella!"
"Thank you Emily, bye." I clicked the phone off before she could say anymore.
All my thoughts left towards Christmas, I hadn't bought any gifts, and this was both of the kids' favorite holiday, and this year they had no father.
I looked up at the clock, it said 1pm. I had no time to shop today, but tomorrow would be busy.
I finished up around the house, then went and picked up the kids, waiting under the tree, as they both came… skipping out.
They came and hugged me at my legs, seeing as bending down was almost becoming impossible. I kissed them as other parents were looking towards us, I ignored the looks, all which could be tell by their faces, mainly surprise, by how well we were dealing with the loss… how my kids were back in school the Monday after the funeral.
I grabbed their hands again, it reminded me of the funeral, walking across the grass to the car, the picture that Emily suggested popped up in my mind.
"How was school?" I asked as we were walking.
Mason spoke first, "Fun! We played with clay the whole day and then I went to a lady's office."
I stopped, "What do you mean, Mason?"
Madeline then spoke, "Yea, they came to my class too!" she said.
"Madeline, honey, what do you mean?"
"I don't know, she just asked us how we were dealing with daddy's death and I told her how I was wearing black to remember him." She said proudly.
I felt concerned, "Did she ask you anything else, Madeline?" I pushed for an answer.
"Yea, just how it was around home and how you were feeling."
"What did you tell them Madeline?"
"I said you cried a lot but still played with me. The lady smiled then."
We reached the car and still didn't know who they were talking about… maybe a counselor?
I saw Cheryl talking with other PTA mothers, so I grabbed my kids' hands and brought them over to Cheryl, who looked just as surprised as the other mothers.
"Hello Bella, is something wrong?" Cheryl asked.
"Oh uh Cheryl, can you watch Madeline and Mason for a minute, I have to go up to the office."
She shook her head, "Uh sure Bella, I'll just wait outside with them, "she smiled.
I smiled back; it was actually genuine, "Thank you so much."
I walked to the office and was greeted by the secretary again, with her kind smile.
"Hello Mrs. Black, how may I help you?" she asked.
"Hi uh yes, is there someone who went and saw my children today in class?" I asked.
"Oh yes, the school counselor, it's required that after death, divorce, or any family crisis that the child sees the counselor, of course at least once. Unless you request it or the child stops it itself, they're only visited once."
"Oh and uh, so for my children…" I asked.
"The counselor just came in and said they were doing fine enough for no future visits."
"Oh uh ok, well thank you."
"No problem Mrs. Black."
I was taken back by Mrs. Black, seeing as I wasn't married, I started to walk out of the office, thinking about my last name… I know Renee changed her name as soon as she divorced Charlie, but for me and in the eyes of others, my husband was dead, changing my last name would be seen as… well, I'm not sure.
I turned back to the secretary. "I'm sorry, but can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Of course, anything." She said politely.
"If I had to change my last name on the kids' emergency cards, could I?"
She looked confused, "Yes you can change your name, I'm not sure about the kids' though."
"Oh it's just uh, I'm not sure, if at least my last name will change…"
"Mrs. Black," the secretary took a caring tone, "I understand your loss, and I would ask no questions, from my point of view if you change your last name. My sister lost her husband and she did the same, but I'm not sure how the people of Forks would take it." She smiled.
"Yea, but the name… it brings back so many memories…"
"How about a hyphenated last name?"
I looked at her, "Like Black-Swan?"
"Yes, for all of you." She said.
I looked at her… "That might work; do you happen to have their emergency cards?"
She got up and went to a stack of cards, digging out their cards, their pictures were on it.
"So you'd like to change it to Black-Swan? Here at school, they'd mainly go by Swan, judging by the last, last name."
"Uh… yes, thank you."
She went to the line repeating Black, and added a hyphen, putting Swan.
"And how about you, what about your last name?"
"I guess I'll just legally change it to Black-Swan as well."
"Alright, I'll change the information on the computer as well Mrs. Black-Swan."
I smiled, "Thank you that feels so much better…"
I left the office, looking down at my wedding ring, no matter what though, last name or not, I'd always wear this ring.
I walked up to Cheryl, and thanked her for watching my kids. I grabbed their hands and headed back to the car.
At dinner I explained to Madeline and Mason about their new last name, 'Black-Swan', Madeline asked many questions, like why I changed it. I explained to her that the last name Black reminded me too much of Daddy and it hurt me to think of him, so I wanted you to have a last name that remembers him as well as my maiden name.
Confused, she ate her dinner, Mason didn't understand at all.
I sent them up to bed, thinking about the name change. To any outsider, it might have seemed awkward, a man died and his wife changes her children's last name to add a hyphen. But to me, he was still out there, in love with another women, my children deserved better that, in a last name of course.
I woke the kids up again, early in the morning and sent them off to school. They both dressed a little more colorful today, right after I dropped them off I headed off to Port Angeles, to do limited Christmas shopping.
I went in and out of stores, barely buying anything. I finally decided upon clothes for both, and a few toys for both. I walked to Macy's to shop for some clothes.
Shopping in the kids' department was thrilling; I was mainly looking for dark clothing, dark red, green blue, and black. The mood was set upon my decisions. Then from behind me came a girl's voice.
"Bella, Bella Swan?" I turned around, seeing Angela Weber.
"Angela?" I gasped, "How are you?"
She came up to me, hugging me through my huge stomach.
"I'm great! How are you! Oh my gosh, you're pregnant that is great, I didn't know you were married!"
I grinned, "Uh yea, well I'm about 5 months along."
"Is this your first baby? Who's your husband?"
I took a serious face, "Uh no this is my third child, my husband is uh, Jacob Black?"
She smiled, "That is so great Bella, Mrs. Black I mean! Wow, third child!" she paused, "How is Jacob?" she asked.
I paused, "Uh he…"I frowned, trying to word it.
Ben then came up behind her, I was thankful for the distraction, "Bella Black, how are you?"
Ben then came up to me and hugged me, "I'm so sorry about Jacob."
"Oh uh thank you Ben," I saw Angela looking confused.
Ben went back and held Angela's hand; I finally looked into her confused eyes.
"Uh Jake just uh died, in a car accident last week." I looked towards an inanimate object to try not to cry; luckily my tears didn't come down my face.
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, "Angela said, her compassion felt so welcoming to me. She came and hugged me again.
I smiled, "Thank you Angela that means so much to me. So you two are married, that's great!"
She blushed, "Yea, about three years ago and I'm expecting in about 7 months!"
I gave a surprised face, "That is so great Angela, wow!"
She smiled, "I know, it was so exciting, Ben was thrilled!"
I looked over at him smiling, blushing with so much pride and happiness.
She finally looked at me, "Yea we just moved back here into Forks, I believe it's about two miles from your old house, Charlie's…" she said.
I look surprised again, "Oh yea, in that newer development? I live in there too." I said.
"Oh really? Yea, we just got here yesterday, so we came shopping for baby furniture here, but I glad we ran into you!" she exclaimed.
I smiled, "I know, it is great to see you two, especially after this week…" I smiled with compassion.
"Bella, you can call me anytime, I'd love to go out with you, get your mind off things. What house is yours?"
"Oh it's the uh, white one, on the main road right from Charlie's."
Angela gasped, "That is your house, oh wow Bella, it was so pretty when I saw it, Ben kept saying it's not for sale," she laughed.
"Oh," I laughed, "Yea, Madeline and Mason and I thought about moving, but they're still so young, and with school and how comfortable home is to them, even with the memories, we just can't leave."
Angela shook her head, "Oh I totally agree Bella."
I smiled, and then realized the time, I was ready to pay for the clothes, and head back to pick up the kids.
I laughed, "Yea with uh… everything, I forgot about Christmas, I mean, I must be a terrible mother for almost forgetting!"
Angela and Ben laughed, then Ben spoke, "You know Bella, you don't look a day older than 18 and you must be 28 now, like Angela and I, you look terrific."
Angela smiled and added, "I know Bella, I went to the hospital for a check-up and saw Edward in there too, he didn't look a day older either! I didn't talk to him though; he was in and out fast. I swear it must have been after you two broke up again that a curse was put on you to never age!"
I laughed, "Oh uh, I guess."
I started walked to check out with Angela and Ben, I quickly paid then said goodbye, telling Angela to call me.
I hurried to the car and headed off to Forks Elementary, the bell thankfully had just rung,
I walked quickly under the tree and Madeline and Mason came towards me, smiling and carrying Christmas projects they'd done in class.
I drove them home and sent them upstairs to play; I quickly went to the car and hid all the gifts in my closet. I had closed the door to Jake's closet; it had never been opened since 'the day of his death'.
Author's Note: Alright, Chapter 13 :) Enjoy.
I don't exactly have much to say, which is odd for me... very odd.
Thanks for all the reviews ;)
Till Then, Elizabeth
