Disclaimer: To my own disbelief and pure greediness, I sadly don't own Twilight/New Moon characters, Miss Stephenie Meyer does.
I woke up to see the sun rising, Madeline and Mason were still sleeping, as I tried to quietly get up, slipping on my high heels, fixing my coat and dress, my back ached.
I had done some serious thinking during the night, sleep finally persuaded me. I thought how Edward did love me, he still did. Something I hadn't even asked myself. It was a strange fact, I'm almost sure he did love me. One part of me said ignore it, he'll just leave you for safety again. But that was it, I kept thinking, he loved me too much to see me hurt myself with being with him. He had also told me last night, that if he hadn't, I'd have no Madeline nor Mason, or this beautiful daughter inside of me.
I walked over and kissed them both, staring at them, just gazing.
He was right, I hated admitting, there was nothing or anyone that could take my children away. They wouldn't be here if Edward had left me, making me choose Jacob. I sighed as I walked out of the room.
I couldn't admit to myself that I loved Edward, it was so soon. My heart still ached for Jacob, my husband. It had only been what? Months…? And here's Ian, another fine well… vampire, vying for my attention. I knew I wasn't interested in Ian; he was a great guy, rich, lovely, and handsome, but not what I was looking for. I headed down the stairs one at a time, trying to balance my high heels and coat.
I was looking down, when I reached the last step I looked up, seeing the whole Cullen family there, staring back, Ian gone.
Alice smiled, as I smiled back, then my eyes caught way of Edward, dazzling as ever, I stopped smiling and just breathed in and out, taking on a serious expression.
Esme came over and hugged me on my side, "Bella, you must be hungry, let me make you something to eat." She smiled.
I smiled, "Oh I'm fine Esme, really."
Edward stayed a far distance away, Carlisle interrupted, "Esme, don't listen to Bella." He looked over at me, "A healthy mother is what you need to be Bella. That means eating."
Esme walked into the kitchen as I heard pots and pans hitting. Everyone just smiled as I stood.
Alice interjected, "Bella sit down, you're even making me uncomfortable standing up in high heels at 7 months pregnant." She rolled her eyes and scooted over to make room.
I sat down, keeping my hands in my lap, thinking about the kids and school, it was Friday.
Esme came in, "Alright Bella, you better be hungry." She smiled.
"Oh, uh ok, thank you Esme." I walked into the kitchen with her.
I sat and picked at my food, my appetite was dwindling, she asked me questions about Madeline and Mason and the baby.
"So have you thought of any names yet, Bella?" She asked calmly.
I looked at her as I laid my fork down, "Oh gosh, no I haven't, and I've been so busy with…"
She patted my hand, "Yes Bella, I understand, but you only have two months left."
I smiled, "Yea, I guess I better start thinking, shouldn't I?" I took a sip of water.
Edward walked in, as Esme got up, leaving into the living room.
"So, you have a 'strong' few words you wanted to tell me off." He smiled as he sat down near me.
I folded my hands under my chin, "Yes, I did." I said quietly.
"You did?" Edward asked calmly.
I looked down, moving my hair behind my ear, "I uh… I forgot what I was going to say." I bit my lip.
He laughed, "I heard pregnancy can cause forgetfulness." He smiled.
I gave him a sarcastic look and sipped my water again.
He got up and looked outside, seeing everything through the beautiful glass, "Would you like to join me for a walk?" He held out his hand for me, I looked up into his eyes.
"Ok." Was all I could say, as he helped me up.
We walked through a kitchen door, and headed down the dirt, but throw the smooth open grass. I leaned over and started taking my shoes off, he just stared at me as I stopped to do so.
"I don't understand why you wear those, especially since you're pregnant, and you use to call them 'death traps'." He gave me a confused look as I caught up with, holding the shoes in my hand.
We started walking, "Beauty is pain, and I learned to like them, thank you." I hissed at him.
He held his lips together, "Well…" he said finally as he stopped and turned towards me, the house wasn't visible anymore.
"Tell me Bella, why Ian was so fond of you?" he asked.
I gave him an odd look, "I have no idea Edward, and do I have any idea why you still love me? Because I had no idea of that either, till last night."
He looked away, fury and embarrassment in his eyes, I looked down, sorry for my uprising comment back.
"Edward, I'm sor-…" I began to say.
He looked towards me, "No, you shouldn't have to be sorry because it's the truth. Bella I so still love you, I don't think I've ever stopped. It was…" he tensed, "so hard for me not to come back to you, especially when you turned to… that dog again, who just hurt you. Then I wanted to come back to stop him from putting such vulgar images into my head of you."
I was caught up in the moment, then stopped, "Wait, what 'vulgar' images?" I asked him.
His face was turned towards me, but his eyes were looking down.
"Your husband, who I regret not killing everyday of my non-existence, knew I was checking up on you… so whenever he sensed I was around, he turned his mind towards you to remind me what I was missing." He looked into my eyes.
"I… you lost me." I tried to understand.
"Jake knew that sometimes when I was around the house, trying to make sure you were alright, he'd think about you, knowing I was around, tormenting me was more like it… " He rambled on.
I interrupted him, "Wait, what did he think about?" I asked, wondering.
"You wouldn't want to know, or be interested…" He gave a stern look.
"Obviously I am, Edward, because they were about me. What did he think about, Edward?" I asked in my 'because-I-said-so' voice.
He sighed, "He thought about you, in the bedroom and when you delivered Madeline or Mason." He looked down, lips tightened.
I giggled and blushed, "Oh my gosh that little …" I wanted to finish.
He stopped me though, "No, it wasn't your fault. He would always turn to the nights were he was all in control, making you… do things. He'd also comment on things, inside his mind, recalling well more things… Then with the deliveries, it was the worst pain parts, of course. He's center on you, making me see how you were in pain."
I was blushing by now, and breathing with fury, letting out huge deep breaths.
I sighed and laughed, not humorously though, in a way that made me personally want to kill him, I put my hand on my face, trying to cover my huge pinkish/red cheeks.
"If he wasn't semi-dead to me and my children, I'd kill him." I said, finally.
Edward grabbed my hand, it was as cold as I remembered, yet so warm to the gentle touch.
"Don't worry, he was just being Jacob… damn dog." He smiled as he gently squeezed my hand.
I smiled as I looked into his golden eyes. It felt so right, being here with him… everything was in place. He leaned in towards me, my heart was flying…
I stopped, pulling back, "I…I can't do this, Edward, I just can't." I let go of his hand, walking over the smooth grass.
He grabbed my hand, "Then explain to me why you can't Bella." He twisted me around.
"Because…" I felt the tears stroll down my face; I tried to look away from him.
"Why Bella?" he whispered.
I was still staring away from him, "…because I'm afraid that loving you will just hurt me again." I felt more tears roll down my face, bringing no justice. I could hear him breathing, somehow. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
He lifted me by the chin with his slightly cold finger, "Bella, I've made the worst mistake anyone can make, and I've done it twice. Regret filled me, I regret leaving you everyday. Now, I can have you, I'll never hurt you again Bella. I love you."
I felt more tears; I quickly wiped them away, his finger still holding my chin up, as he saw me wipe away my tears.
"How do I know Edward? How?" I whispered, my eyes looked down.
"I can't tell you Bella… but I can show you." And in that quick second of quick thrilling, pulse-rushing, mind-twisting, whirling, second he kissed me.
Eager pushed through the kiss, passion delivered. The love between our lips was incredible, something I'd never witnessed while being with him before. They moved in sync, they matched together. We were made for each other… and here this huge bump is in the middle.
In the same moment, as when he first kissed me, I threw my hands up, my high heels probably stabbing his back as the landed, it had caught me off guard, something I hadn't expected.
I finally pulled away, literally gasping for breath. My breathing uneasy, I felt weak to the knees.
I smiled at him as he kissed my all down my neck, the sensation was thrilling and intoxicating.
"Wow, you certainly do show well." I gasped between breaths.
His lips found mine again, seconds later he pulled away… "I've been waiting too long to do that…" he said in between kisses down my throat again.
I tried to catch my breath, feeling like I'd just run the mile in under six minutes, finally he looked at me, my breathing seriously accelerated.
"Are you feeling alright, Bella?" He asked, caution in his eyes.
My eyes in shock, looking away, trying to lessen my heart beat that was flying.
I looked up at him again, "Yea, I mean I'm fine." I smiled.
He smiled back, with a genuine crooked smile. I looked down, my smile turning into a frown.
"What's wrong?" he asked silently.
"I'm pregnant Edward." I said quietly.
He played with my hair and laughed, "Yes you are Bella. Did you just realize that?" He smiled.
I pulled away, his hand left in the air, "No Edward, I'm pregnant, and it just feels… so wrong to be kissing another man, when a baby is inside me who isn't yours!" I said.
"So you didn't feel anything between us right now?" he looked down.
"Yes, and that's the problem Edward." I looked at him as he looked up.
"You lost me, Bella." He said, I couldn't believe he was being so complicated with this.
I grabbed his hand, this was moving to serious too fast.
"Edward, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I… I love you Edward. But right now, we can't be together. I need to have this baby and raise the kids right now. They're my life, Edward." I looked into his golden eyes.
"I understand Bella, your kids are your first priority." He said calmly.
I smiled, and breathed in, "I'm glad you do Edward. But this baby, she needs to know who her father was… something I need to show her, alone." I said.
Edward brushed his finger along my cheek, "I understand again Bella. Your daughter needs to know who her father was, who left her…" he said.
"Don't… don't do that Edward, that is not fair." I hissed at him.
He looked down, guilty. "No Bella, you're right. I'm sorry."
"When the time is right Edward, I'll be here, I'll come back. You must know that." I squeezed his hand.
"I do Bella, I'll be waiting. I have forever." He smiled.
I smiled back at him, "Forever." I repeated.
He then kissed me again… more passion than before.
Author's Note: Wow, this story is dwindling down! Ah, I'm so nervous...
I hope I'm not terrible at endings, ha, I certainly hope not. Anyways,
we're almost done, I finished the FAQ, summed up any regards you
might have after reading it... and I'm still thinking about other stories,
I have a draft for one, it's in bullet points, but I'm getting on it...
Thanks again for the kind words :)
Till Then, Elizabeth.
