Chapter Five
It was Lily's room when she stayed over. The walls were a light peach and bare except for a framed 8X10 photo of the three generations of women. Lindsay was about five in the picture. The only other picture in the room was on the nightstand. It was a picture of Lily and Catherine with Sam Braun. Besides the nightstand, the room held a lamp and a small dresser. There was a bookshelf across from the bed.
Nick had spent the last four hours trying, of and on, to sleep. Between the bouts of sleep, he spent his time staring at the bookshelf, counting the books and categorizing each of them. There were thirty-four in total. Twenty-eight of them were, he guessed, harlequin romance novels. The remainder were general fiction, and in his mind, cheesy novels, written by authors such as Judith Guest or Colleen McCullough. He wondered if the books were Lily's or Catherine's. He was especially curious about the harlequins. He laughed as he decided that they were probably Catherine's secret guilty pleasure, a secret she hid in her mother's room so that no one would know she read them. He grinned at the thought.
As amusing as it was to ponder Catherine's reading material, he was restless and wanted to read something that could relax him and help him fall back to sleep. He tried to will some other novels to show up even if he knew it wasn't possible. He looked back to the bookshelf. The lone male author was Nicholas Sparks. He sighed; reading Nicholas Sparks was as bad as reading the rest of the books on the bookshelf. They all contained sappy romance fiction. What he wouldn't do for a Zane Grey or Louis L'amour at the moment.
He tried, once again, to go back to sleep. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. When he opened his eyes again, he was surprised to find that he had managed to sneak in another half hour of sleep. He made some calculations in his mind and figured that of the four and a half hours he had spent in bed, he probably slept for two and a half of those. The other two had been spent staring at that bookshelf, tossing and turning.
The tossing and turning had been hard on his fractured hand. The pain killers had worn off and his hand was sore. He knew he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep with the pain. He climbed out of bed and headed to the kitchen to grab some water and another pain killer. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Lindsay sitting at the table, doing what looked like homework and mumbling under her breath. Catherine was standing, facing away from him. Her elbows rested on the counter; her head rested in her hands. She didn't seem to notice him enter. Nick cleared his throat to get her attention without scaring her. He stepped towards her as she turned and looked at him. "Hey Cath, what are you doing up?"
He watched her sigh. "I couldn't sleep. How about you?"
"I couldn't sleep either. Plus, the hand's getting sore. Time for another pain killer." He reached behind her and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water from the tap. He remembered his earlier thoughts and smirked to himself. "You know, I thought I'd try reading for awhile. Interesting selection you have in your guest room."
"Oh, those. They're my mother's."
Nick had to bite back a laugh. Instead of grinning, like he wanted to, he merely nodded. "I see." He swallowed his pill and took a drink of water. "Is Greg asleep?"
"He went back to his place to grab some things. He'll be staying in Lindsay's room for the next few nights."
"And Lindsay?"
"She'll sleep in my room."
Nick stared at his glass and swirled the water around. He looked over to Catherine. "So, breakfast at Grissom's tomorrow?"
Catherine nodded. "Yeah, until he changes his mind."
"You been to his place yet?"
"Once. I had to drop off some files when he was sick."
"Good, then you know where it is." He grinned. "You can take me." He took another sip of water. His grin faded. "You think Sara will be there?"
Catherine shook her head. "I don't know."
"I guess we'll see tomorrow."
Nick downed the rest of his water and placed the glass in the sink. He turned to Catherine. "He was really mad today."
"Grissom?"
"Yeah. We really screwed up."
"Nick, we didn't tell the news stations anything about the case or where the case was heading. We couldn't stand by and let them say what they wanted to about Warrick. We only expressed our distaste concerning the way they handled the story."
"Is that what you call it?" Nick turned and faced Catherine, looking into her eyes. "Come on Cath, we were wrong. We could have shouted out anything in anger and hurt the case. It was only luck that we didn't. I'm man enough to admit that I was wrong."
"We didn't hurt the case, Nick."
"We could have."
"We didn't."
"Catherine." He sighed. She looked away. He found her eyes again. "We're both angry. I don't like hearing the things that the media's been saying about Warrick's death. Warrick was my best friend. I loved him, but Grissom was right. We let our anger get the best of us."
"Nick, it happens. We're human. Grissom doesn't have to worry about that because he suppresses his emotions."
"That's not fair Catherine. He lets his emotions out. We've both seen it. I bet it took a lot of will power for him not blow up like we did."
"I know." Catherine shook her head. "I just…hate it when he's right."
Nick grinned. "I know you do."
"And for the record, he may be right about our reaction to the media, but he was wrong about Sara."
Nick wanted to argue, tell Catherine that it was a two way street and that Sara was as much at fault for the way things were between her and Grissom as Grissom was, and let Catherine know that it really wasn't their business. Instead, he let it pass and smiled at Catherine. "Well, maybe, but I'll let you tell him that." He gently squeezed her shoulder. "I'm off to try and get some more sleep, see if the pain killers helped any. You should try too, especially since you are on call tonight."
Catherine looked over to the table where Lindsay was still working. "I want to stay up with Lindsay for a bit. I'll take a nap later."
"Alright." He walked down the hall and climbed back into bed. He took a minute to recount the books in the bookshelf before drifting back to sleep."
She wasn't all that surprised when she got called into work. It was Vegas after all, and Saturday nights were never quiet. She left Nick and Greg playing cards in the dining room and drove out to Henderson. When she arrived, she met Vartann as she crossed under the police tape. "Hey, what have we got?"
"Hi Catherine. Male DB, looks like a gun shot wound to the chest. Grissom's in the house with the body. He's been here about an hour and a half already. He only asked me to call you within the last half hour."
Catherine nodded and walked towards the house. She opened the front door and spotted Grissom bent over a piece of evidence. She sighed. She wasn't surprised to find him here, but she had hoped he'd take a night off and try to work some things out. She was worried about him. He wasn't dealing with Warrick's death or Sara's return properly. She knew he wouldn't listen if she tried to speak to him about it, so she just shook her head and approached him. "Hey Grissom."
He looked up from his evidence. "Catherine. Sorry to call you in. I've got the inside of the house. David should be here any minute to examine the body. He got held up at another crime scene. Can you take the perimeter?"
"Yeah, sure." She turned to exit, but not before glancing down at the body. It was the body of a young, black male. He was tall and thin and had short hair. With the exception of the eyes, he didn't resemble Warrick at all, but that didn't stop Catherine's heart from skipping a beat. She froze momentarily before taking a deep breath and stepping back outside. Grissom followed her. "Catherine, are you okay?"
"Yeah." She nodded and told herself that the body didn't even look like Warrick. The lifeless eyes that could have been Warrick's, weren't. It wasn't Warrick's body. She'd been spared that scene.
"Okay." Grissom's voice was soft. "I just need you to help me collect the evidence. You can go home after. I'll take all the evidence back to the lab to process."
"I can help you process."
"No, go home. After I hand everything off to the lab rats, there won't be much to do. There's no reason for us to both sit around and wait on results."
Catherine looked at him and wanted to argue, but she was too tired to put up a fight and she did want to go back home. She gave Grissom a small smile. "Thanks."
David walked by her on his way into the house. He gave her a shy, sympathetic smile as he passed. She smiled back and began to walk the perimeter, placing markers, photographing, collecting evidence and taking notes. She stopped what she was doing and watched as the body was removed from the house and placed in the coroner's van.
After spending an hour on the perimeter, Catherine reentered the house and began helping Grissom process the interior. A couple hours later, she handed Grissom her notes and took her evidence to his Denali. As she was placing the evidence inside, she heard Grissom approach her. "Catherine?"
She turned towards him. "I'm almost done putting all the evidence in the truck. Are you sure you don't want me to help log it all in?"
"No, go home."
She studied him for a moment. "Okay." She turned back towards the truck.
"Catherine?"
"Yes?" She remained facing away.
"I know I asked you all for breakfast, but…"
Catherine tensed as he spoke. He was going to back out. She grew angry. He couldn't keep hiding from his emotions. She spun around and glared at him. "But what Grissom?"
"I'm not sure when I'll be done at the lab. Can we make it lunch instead? Around noon?"
Her mouth was open. She stared at him. It was not the response she expected. It took a moment for her to speak. "Yeah, sure. I'll tell the guys." She looked at him again before placing the remaining evidence in the truck. She shook her head. She turned back to say goodbye, but he was already back in the house. She climbed into her car and drove home. When she got there, she walked straight into her room and fell asleep next to her daughter.
The sun began to rise. He was back at the lab, looking over the evidence and making notes. After processing all he could, he looked around for Ecklie, hoping for an update on Warrick's case. He couldn't find him and surmised that the chances of Ecklie being in the lab that early on a Sunday were slim to none. He walked back to his office and waited for the lab rats' results.
He thought about Sara as he sat in his office. He wanted to be at home with her. He felt bad about leaving for hours the day before, then getting called in later that night. They were supposed to spend that day together and instead, she spent it alone while he worked. He decided that he'd spent enough time away from her. He grabbed the file he'd made and stood up. He walked through the lab and found Wendy. "Hey, I'm going home. I'm taking my files. Can you page me with your findings?"
"Yeah, sure." She smiled at him. "I'll let all the others know. Who do you have evidence with? Hodges? Mandy? Henry?"
He nodded. "All of them, and Bobby."
"I'll let them know."
"Thanks." He walked through the lab, leaving a message with Judy, before exiting the building.
When he arrived home, he was greeted by his dog. He bent down to pet him. "Hey Hank, where's Sara." He began to walk quietly through the house. He didn't see her.
He approached the spare bedroom and peeked in. She wasn't there. Her bags weren't there either. His heart stopped. He tried not to panic, but he was left with the feeling that she had left again. He tried to calm himself as he walked to the master bedroom. When he opened the door, he found her curled up under the covers, asleep. He smiled and undressed before climbing in beside her. He laid down and draped his arm over her. He watched as her body moved closer to him and snuggled into his warmth. He closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face.
He woke up to see Sara staring at him, her eyes fluttering open and shut. He smiled and scooted closer to her, taking her hand in his. "Good morning."
"Mmm, morning." Sara smiled.
"Did you sleep well?"
"With you? Always." He felt her hand pull from his grasp as she moved closer and placed her arm around his back.
"Sorry I had to leave you last night."
Her eyes closed. "S'okay, I understand. I hung out with Hank."
He smiled. "I bet Hank liked that."
"Sure, I talked, he slept; I slept, he barked. We had a great time."
He laughed. "Hey Sara?" Her eyes opened again. He tilted her head up. "We have to get up soon."
"Everybody's coming over here, aren't they?"
"Soon. They'll be a couple hours. They're coming for lunch instead of breakfast."
She looked away. He gently stroked her cheek. "Sara, what's wrong? Are you nervous about seeing them?" She nodded.
"It'll be okay. Everybody wants to see you."
"What if they…" She turned away from him. He leaned over her and gently pulled her onto her back.
"What if they, what?"
"Never mind. I'm sorry, forget it."
He pursed his lips. "What if they react like I did?"
Sara's eyes grew wide. She looked away. "Yeah."
"They won't. They'll be happy you're here."
"Sure, angry I left."
He tilted her face back towards his. "Sara, I'm sorry. I was never angry at you for leaving. I was scared and hurt, but never angry. The other day I was angry over Warrick's death. I'm still angry. I felt guilty. I wanted to stop feeling guilty so I transferred my guilt onto you. It was easier to blame you than blame myself. It was never your fault. Nobody will be angry at you and nobody will blame you for any of this."
Sara smiled wistfully. "Maybe."
"Sara, I'm so sorry."
"Gil, we went over this yesterday. It's okay. You know, some of how I'm feeling is my own doing. And besides," she smiled, " it was kind of nice to see you let your emotions get the best of you, even if it was at my expense."
He watched her try to smile again in reassurance. He smiled at her effort and stroked her cheek. "We better get up. I want to hit the grocery store and pick up some things before everyone gets here. Do you want to come?"
"Yeah." She rose and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'll be ready to go in ten."
He laid on his side and watched as she dressed.
They returned from the grocery store with a half hour to spare. He set out the fruit and deli trays and watched Sara as sat down on the couch, looking pensive. He approached her softly and sat down next to her. "Hey."
She gave him a sad smile. He grasped her hand. "Are you ready to face the team?"
He knew she was trying to put on a brave face. She smiled back at him. "Are you ready to have a bunch of people in your house?"
"Our house, and yes, I'm ready as long as they don't snoop around too much."
Sara laughed. "Then, you'd better keep an eye on Catherine."
He smiled and stood up. "Trust me, I'll be watching her." He pulled her off the couch and squeezed her hands in his. "Look, if you aren't comfortable with this, you don't have to hang around. You can stay in our room or go for a walk to get away."
"I have to face them some time. I don't want to hide."
"You won't be hiding, besides Hank will need a walk. If you want to stick around, I'll be right here if you need me."
"Maybe I'll take Hank for a walk now. It'll give me some time to work up the courage to see everyone."
He smiled softly and leaned forward, kissing her forehead. "That's a good idea."
"Gil, it may be a really long walk."
"I can hold down the fort." He smiled at her and watched her walk into the bedroom. When she returned, she had changed and was holding Hank's leash. She attached the leash to Hank and smiled at Grissom before exiting. Grissom returned to setting out food and getting the place ready for guests. Twenty minutes after Sara left, everybody arrived.
Brass had raised his eyebrows at Grissom when he discovered Sara wasn't around. Nick had shot him a sympathetic look, Greg scowled at him and Catherine looked as though she'd expected to find Grissom alone. As they dished up, they asked him about an update on Warrick's case. He saw the anger flash through the team's eyes as he told them that Warrick's funeral may not be paid for by the county. Their eyes became even darker when he told them that they still had no leads. After the discussion on the investigation was exhausted, the conversation became strained. Nick and Greg took their food into his living room. Catherine and Brass stayed in the kitchen and tried to draw information out of Grissom. They soon gave up and joined Nick and Greg in the living room, leaving him alone in the kitchen.
He watched as his team sat in his living room, talking at ease. He wished he could be a part of the conversation, but knew if he entered, the conversation would become strained again. Still, he smiled, knowing that they were taking care of each other. His smile grew when he saw his dog run into the living room where everybody was. He knew Sara must have let the dog in the back entrance. He heard Catherine ask Hank where he had been hiding. He saw the disbelief on Nick's and Greg's faces when they discovered he had a dog. The next sight he expected to see was Sara walking into the living room. When he didn't see her, he guessed that she was outside, trying to summon that last ounce of courage to see everybody. He opened his front door and caught sight of her staring standing the curb, looking out over the street. Her arms were wrapped around her body. His breath caught in his throat. He approached her from behind, spun her around and placed a fervent kiss on her lips.
Sara smiled when they broke. "Hi."
"Hey. I'm so glad you're back."
She laughed. "How's lunch going?"
"Terrible. They're upset you're not around."
She looked away, feeling bad for being such a coward and taking that hour and a half long walk. She felt Grissom turn her face back towards his. "Hey, they're upset at me, not you. They think you're still staying in the hotel."
"You haven't told them."
"No."
She shook her head at him and laughed. "Not that I'm complaining, because I'd rather keep what we have private, but can I ask why you decided not to defend yourself and tell them I'm staying with you?"
"They've already drawn their own conclusions and it's none of their business anyway."
"Oh, I see." She grinned. "You're alright with everyone being upset with you?"
"I'm sure the mood will lighten when they see you. They may even forgive me a little." Grissom grasped her hand and led her into the house. She followed him down the stairs and into the living room. Her stomach felt queasy as she glanced at her old team. Grissom cleared his throat and got their attention. "Sara's here."
She watched everybody's faced brighten as they saw her. Nick was the first one up as he rushed to her and picked her up, squeezing her in a bear hug, his cast digging into her back. She laughed when he let her down. "Hey Nicky."
"I missed you, Sar. I'm so glad you're here." His eyes saddened and she nodded.
Greg moved in for the next hug, seeming tentative at first. When she hugged back, she felt him relax. "Sara, god it's great to see you. It wasn't the same with you gone."
"I missed you too Greg."
She let go of him and watched him nod. "You know Sara, I'm still a great person to talk to."
"I know Greg."
Sara looked past Greg smiled at Brass. He grinned back at her. They didn't say anything to each other; they didn't need to. She didn't say anything to Catherine either. She watched the conflicting emotions run through the older woman's eyes. She felt the same. While she was happy to see everyone, she couldn't forget the circumstances that brought her back. She knew how upset everyone else was. They'd known Warrick for a long time, longer than she had. She walked over to Catherine and embraced her.
No one questioned her leaving. In fact, everyone seemed to avoid that conversation. Instead, they made small talk, told jokes and laughed. She felt Grissom's eyes on her, offering her support through out the afternoon. She was talking with Catherine and Greg and watching Grissom converse with Brass when she noticed Nick wasn't around. She excused herself from the conversation and stepped outside. She spotted Nick sitting alone on the front steps. She smiled softly. "Hey, mind if I join you?"
He smiled back at her. "This seat's been waiting for you."
She sat down next to him and put her hand on his cast. She looked at it but didn't say anything. She saw him look at her and she looked away. "I broke it. I punched a wall when I saw Warrick's body and I broke it."
"Nick, I'm so sorry."
"It was a stupid thing to do."
"Well, you were upset. We do stupid things when we're mad or upset. I tend to provoke people."
She smiled when he laughed. "Yeah, you do."
"Hey now."
Nick held up his hands in surrender. His smile softened. "How have you been?"
"I've been doing alright. This whole thing hasn't helped any, but I'll be okay."
"It's good that you came back for this."
She smiled sadly. "Yeah."
She felt Nick shift so that he was facing her. "Sara, I know you don't like talking about any of this, but I want you to know that we missed you. I know you needed to get away after everything that happened. I felt that way after…well after, you know…I just wanted to let you know I understand." He paused. She looked at him and he smiled warmly. "I know this is none of my business, but I also want you to know that Grissom understands. He was confused and he spent a lot of time trying to make sense of your leaving, but I know that deep down he understood, and as much as he tried to hide it, I could see how much he loved you."
Tears sprung to her eyes. She didn't want to hear any more about how she had hurt Grissom by leaving. "Nick, stop, please."
"I know, sorry, it's none of my business. This hard enough on you already. I just thought you should know." He stood up and walked back into the house, leaving her alone. She sat for a moment before getting up and walking back into the house. When she made her way into the living room, she sought out Grissom's eyes. He was still talking to Brass. His eyes were dark and sad, but when they found hers, they brightened. Then, she saw him smile.
Sara noticed that Nick rejoined Catherine and Greg in their conversation. She walked over to them and discovered they were getting ready to leave. Catherine was planning on heading into the lab to process some of the evidence from the previous night's case and wanted to spend some time with Lindsay first. Greg looked over at Catherine before turning back to Sara. "Do you need a ride back to your hotel?"
"Thanks Greg, but no, I'm okay for a ride."
"You know, you can come back to Catherine's with us, if you don't want to be alone. Nick and I have been staying there."
"That's okay. I'm sure Catherine has enough guests. I'll be alright."
"You're sure?"
"Yes. If I change my mind, I'll call you, okay?"
"Okay." Greg eyed her before smiling. "Bye Sara, I'll see you later."
"Bye Greg." Her voice softened. "Bye Nick." He nodded. She turned to Catherine. "Cath, don't let Greg drive you crazy."
Catherine laughed. "You know he will. Bye Sara. Call if you need anything."
She watched them walk over to Grissom and Brass and say goodbye before leaving. Brass followed shortly after, grabbing his jacket and winking at her before leaving.
She moved to the couch and pulled her legs up, holding them in her arms. Grissom sat down next to her. "Was it as hard as you thought it would be?"
"Yes and no. I didn't think I'd miss them as much as I did."
"They missed you too."
She leaned into his side. When he wrapped his arms around her, she curled deeper into him. "You know, it was Warrick who taught me about what it meant to be part of a team. Before, the people I worked with were just that, the people I worked with. Then, I had to investigate Warrick and he taught me to talk to my coworkers. He taught me to trust them and listen to them and be there for them. He showed that there was more to being a coworker than just working with someone."
"Warrick was always the center of grave. The team was very important to him."
"I miss him, Gil. The last time I saw him, he told me I was tough. He said he wasn't worried about me. I never even thought to be worried about him. He was offering me his support and I didn't think to offer it back. Some goodbye."
"I don't think Warrick ever needed a goodbye. He could read people better than anybody. He knew. He knew we supported him and he knew you would have too."
"You think so?"
"Yeah." Grissom tightened his embrace on her. "So, where did you disappear to this afternoon?"
"I was outside talking with Nick."
"Good talk?"
"Overall, yeah. He told me what I needed to hear, even if it hurt."
He nodded and stroked her cheek. She smiled when he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips.
