Me: Yeah, so...um...how long has it been since I last updated?

Kanda: How the hell should I know?

Lavi: Tsk, tsk, Yuu, manners...

Kanda: Tch

Lavi: So, what are we doing today boss?

Me: That's a secret. After all, what fun would it be if I spoiled it for all the readers?

Lavi: Hm...that's true

Allen: Moon'sEclipse does not own D. Gray Man

Lavi: Allen!

Allen: Enjoy the chapter... -gets glomped-

And finally ...Chapter um, uh, eh...

Lavi: pssssssst...it's chapter 5

Me: oh, ok, thanks

Chapter 5: Enter Kanda Yuu, The Seemingly Cold-Hearted, Arrogant, Bitchy,

I-Am-Better-Than-All-Of-You, Distant, Anti-social, Bastard

--

(Kanda: What the hell is up with the title? And what's that supposed to mean hm?

Me: Nothin... nothin really...

Kanda: Three...two...o-

Me: IT WAS LAVI AND ALLEN! IT WAS THEIR IDEA!!

Lavi & Allen: damn)


"Hey Allen?" Lavi asks Allen.

"Hn?"

"Do you think Yuu-chan really luvs us?" Lavi asks.

"What kind of question is that?" Allen turns to face him.

"I just, well, you know how cold a bastard he can get." Lavi answers.

"Hm...I see...well...will it make you feel any better if we prove that he loves us?" Allen asks.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to try..." Lavi replies.

"Um, Lavi, if this is Kanda we're talking about...it will definitely hurt." Allen tells him.

"Oh yeah, guess you're right." Lavi says sweat-dropping.

"I mean, we're risking our lives by doing this." Allen adds.

"Do you think he'll be a bit gentle when he kills us?" Lavi thinks aloud.

"Um...no?" Allen says. Then, a picture of a sweet, gentle, kind-hearted, loving Kanda enters their minds.

"Oh crap, I think I'm going to be sick." Lavi says after an awkward silence.

"You're not the only one... damn" Allen says, his face paler than ever.

"That's...a scary thought now 'aint it?" Lavi asks his companion.

"No kidding." Allen replies.

"Okay, let's think happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy th- AH CRAP! THAT PICTURE KEEPS ON POPPIN' UP IN MY HEAD DAMNIT!" yells a frustrated bunny.

Sweat-drop.

"What are you two bakas doing?" A familiar voice from behind asks.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Lavi and Allen yell.

"Okay, I repeat, what are you two bakas doing?"

"Lavi, y-y-you should have s-s-s-seen the look on y-y-y-your face!" Allen says hysterically.

"Y-y-y-your face w-w-wasn't all too b-b-bright either bud." Lavi replies. Both still a bit shaken by what just happened.

"Oi." the voice says, not too happy about being ignored.

"Ehe, hiya Yuu-chan..." Lavi says nervously. "We were, uh, just talking about you."

"Is that so?" Kanda raises an eyebrow. "What were you saying?"

"Um, just that we love you so much." Allen says, hoping that he'll leave it at just that.

"Tch, anyway, I was looking for you two." Kanda says.

"Really?" Lavi asks.

"We are so touched Yuu!" Allen adds. He and Lavi then embrace each other, looking at Kanda as if a miracle had just happened (which may I add, just did).

"Who knew you cared about us so much?" Lavi asks, pretending to cry on Allen's shoulder.

"I can't believe that the almighty Yuu-sama would be looking for us of all people!" Allen adds, pretending to cry on Lavi's shoulder with just as much emotion. "Who would've thought that us lowly servants would be worthy enough!"

"This must be a gift from the gods!" Lavi yells.

"Cut it out." Kanda says as he whacks both of them on the head.

"Ite." both of them yelp, rubbing their sore heads.

"What was that for?" They ask.

"For being stupid, now, may I continue?" Kanda asks impatiently. Two nods signal for him to move on.

"Komui wants the three of us to take nine days off."

"WHAT?!" The two yell.

"Apparently, if we decline, he'll make it a mission. A mandatory mission."

"Wait a minute, a mission, telling us to take nine days off?" Lavi asks.

"Yeah, no matter how much we detest it, a mission is a mission, even if that mission just so happens to be that we won't have any mission for nine days straight. And to make matter worse, I have no missions for nine days straight, and I was ordered to stick around you two." Kanda says.

It took a few seconds for that information to process through Allen and Lavi's head before a grin spread across their faces.

"What are those looks for?" Kanda asked, backing up slightly.

"Oh nothing. Would you happen to know where the supervisor is now?" Allen asks, smiling, his voice dripping with malice.

"We need to pay him a little visit to thank him for allowing us to rest." Lavi adds. "After all, what gentlemen would we be if we didn't properly thank Komui for what he has done for us?"

"Yes, Komui must've known that we were exhausted and wanted us to rest. After all, why would someone who wants to collect innocence, cleanse akuma, and destroy the damn Earl need to keep on working?" Allen says grimly. "It makes absolute sense to take a break when millions of people all over the world are calling back loved ones and turning them into akuma. Yes, we should just give the Earl a chance to destroy the world by taking nine days off right Lavi?"

"Yes, Allen, that makes complete sense. Lets just act as if we're not trying to save the damn world."

'Note to self: never piss off these two to the extent that they will commit a homicide' Kanda thought. 'wait, wait, scratch that, it's amusing'

"Oi, you two." Kanda interrupts their little chat that includes: a) how to kill Komui b) what to do with the remains of Komui and c) how to convince everyone that he jumped off a cliff by accident (yea, more like was pushed off a cliff). "Che, just shut up will you?" Kanda says as he bends down and pecks them both on the lips.

"Better?" Kanda asks smirking, seeing the flushed faces of the two in front of him.

"Did you just, did he, wait, wha?" Allen asks, confused.

"Allen, I think Yuu just , he just, he, um, he fricking kissed us. Yuu Kanda, seemingly emotionless bastard just kissed us. Wow." Lavi interrupts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kanda growls.

"I think I'm seeing stars Lavi." Allen says.

"NO! Allen! Stay with us buddy!" Lavi yells. Allen giggles and looks up at Kanda who has his head turned to the side, trying to hide his blush.

"So Lavi, does this prove to you that Kanda loves us?" Allen whispers to Lavi.

"Sure as hell does." Lavi whispers back. Silence.

"Hey, do you think he'll show some public affection?" Lavi whispers again.

"This is going to be a long nine days." Allen sighs.


Fin!

So, how'd you like it? Good, bad, anything in between? Con-crit is welcomed!

Moon'sEclipse signing off!

OMAKE!--

"Oi, moyashi"

"It's Allen, must I spell it out? A-L-L-E-N! Allen!"

"Moyashi."

"Damn it all!"

"Che."

"That's it mister!"

-tip-toes and pecks Kanda on the lips-

"Now, if you want another kiss, what's my name?"

"AL...LE...N"

"Yup! And what's my last name?"

"Tch, you're pushing it moyashi"

"IT'S ALLEN!"