Author's Note: You guys are awesome!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this little crack fic. XD I hope you enjoy it as it continues!

Title: Religion and Music

Chapter 3: When I Avoided Her

I made it to Tobi's apartment with less than a few moments to spare. Everyone else was already there, making themselves comfortable. I was just thankful that the idiot's room was on the second floor, meaning that there weren't so many stairs for me to climb in the ten-story building.

"Nice of you to join us, Hidan," Konan spat as I walked through the door, forgetting to take off my shoes, once again. "You mind taking those boots off? Tobi's apartment isn't full of crap like yours." She flipped some of her blue hair over her shoulder as she sat on Pein's lap. I sent her a death glare.

"Bitch," I mumbled, slipping my boots off and leaving them with the other shoes at the front door. I ran a hand through my hair just to make sure it was still all in place and sat down on the floor next to Kakuzu. It was a tradition that the last person to arrive always had to sit on the floor as punishment, even if there were chairs or spaces on couches still available. Once my ass was placed, I took a moment to look around my fellow gang member's room. It was significantly nicer than mine. To start, there wasn't trash all over the place, and the furniture was relatively clean. Like many of us, Tobi lived alone, so I figured that he had to be something of a neat freak.

Either that, or he was just trying to impress us.

My guess was that he wanted Deidara, that whore.

"Alright, let's begin," Pein announced. "To start, everyone say their codeword."

Codewords were what we used to identify ourselves and prove that we weren't spies in disguise. We all had silver rings with the kanji for our codewords carved on them in black against a red background. We all took them from our pockets and slipped them on our fingers. One by one, we all said our words. Itachi was next to Kakuzu, who was next to me, so I started paying attention when I heard his dull voice.

"Crimson," he murmured.

"North," Kakuzu said.

"Three," I added.

After that, I didn't care.

"Okay," Pein finally finished, "we're all here." He paused for a moment. "We have a few very specific assignments here. We're going man-hunting."

I perked up. Okay, maybe this meeting WOULDN'T be torture!

"Sources have told us that nine people are plotting against us," Konan continued. "These nine people are making up their own gang and trying to combat us. They want to take over our turf." She licked her lips and smirked. "I say we get rid of them...the fun way."

"Are they really such a big threat?" Sasori asked as Deidara wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "Sure, there's only ten of us, so people wouldn't think that we're such a huge threat, but we are. Is this gang that strong?" He pulled Deidara into his lap. "If they're just a bunch of kids, I say we don't bother. It would take up too much time."

"Wait a second, Sasori," Pein insisted. The redhead snorted. Our leader just rolled his gray eyes and continued, "We also believe that these people are from completely different schools. They're supposedly doing this in order to avoid arousing suspicion."

"So they're doing all this from behind the scenes?" Kisame asked. "That makes no sense! If they want to challenge us, they should make themselves known! They should build up a reputation." He folded his arms and narrowed his small eyes.

Pein sighed. "I don't know why they're doing this," he admitted. "The only thing I do know is that they call themselves the Jinchuuriki. There are nine of them total, and they each represent a different animal." He reached into his pocket and held up a photo. "This is the first one I could get any information on. He's known as the 'One-Tailed Tanuki.' Sasori, I believe you may know his brother."

Sasori took a long, hard look at the picture, and his eyes suddenly widened. "Yeah, I know his brother!" he exclaimed. "He's this weird guy with crazy war paint who always buys my toys whenever a new model comes out." He sat back and nodded. "I've seen his brother a few times. He's supposedly an insomniac who's been charged with murder in the past." He paused and realized what he had just said. "...That's just like us."

Deidara's head shot up. "That means that these guys COULD be as strong as we are, un!" he cried. "What about the other members? Any news on them, un?"

Pein nodded and pulled a few more photos from his pocket. He had eight of them in his hands. Added to the first one, he had information on all nine. "This girl is known as the 'Two-Tailed Cat'." He pointed to a photo of a girl with a long ponytail. "She has a reputation around that fancy Lightning Private School for being pretty tough."

As Pein explained each of the enemies in the photos, I couldn't keep my mind from drifting off. Damn, I wanted another strawberry ice cream bar, and I wanted one badly. Actually, there were times when I questioned why I wanted those bars so much, because I wanted them constantly.

As I started thinking about the dessert, my mind randomly went over to Tayuya. Shit, that girl was haunting my thoughts, I knew it. Chances were good I'd dream of her that night. I groaned at the idea of it but couldn't keep myself from focusing on her. I remembered her long, pink hair and her big, brown eyes. Jashin, her hair was shiny, and her eyes were the color of dark chocolate.

Now I wanted a strawberry ice cream bar dipped in dark chocolate.

I slapped myself.

"Hidan!"

I broke out of my trance and nearly fell over, even though my ass was already on the floor. THAT was how out of it I had been. I looked up and everyone staring at me.

"Why did you just slap yourself?" Pein asked, lifting an eyebrow. Konan giggled in my direction, and I flipped her off.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I just fell into a bit of a trance."

"Save your ridiculous rituals for when you're back at your own apartment," Kakuzu snapped. "We don't need any of your blood on Tobi's carpet."

"Oh, that's okay!" Tobi insisted. "I know how to get rid of blood stains!"

"That's not the point, Tobi."

"Enough," Pein groaned. "Now that all of these people have been explained, I'm going to assign each of you to one of them. You'll have to work in groups to get these guys. We won't go after all of them at once since we should probably try to weaken them before doing anything drastic." He pushed the picture of 'One-Tail' in Sasori's direction. "You and Deidara take him. You can get close to him through his brother and then take him out."

Deidara studied the photo and then played with his blond hair. "Gladly," he agreed. "This guy is freaking ugly."

Pein passed the photo of the 'Two-Tails' in my direction. "You two take her," he told us. "This will be a good opportunity for the two of you to work on your teamwork."

"What the hell?" I asked. "What's wrong with our teamwork? We're best friends!"

Kakuzu sighed. "There is SO something wrong with our teamwork."

"No, there isn't, dumbass!"

The room was silent.

Pein coughed.

"Yes, that is EXACTLY what I'm talking about."

The rest of the meeting was just assignments. I mostly bitched and moaned about it. I didn't want to deal with this ponytail chick, and I couldn't stand looking at Konan's obnoxious face, that damn bitch.

"Itachi," I heard Pein say, "you and Kisame should take 'Nine-Tails'."

"What about 'Eight-Tails'?" the black-haired man asked.

"Ask your brother to do it."

"But my brother is good friends with 'Nine-Tails.' Have him go after him."

"Trust me, this will be easier." Pein pointed to the two photos. "Eight-Tails" was this big, brawny guy who looked like a major thug. "Nine-Tails" was this little blond kid with a stupid grin. "The two of you can take down the kid without a problem. Unfortunately, we'll need more people to take down 'Eight-Tails.' Get your brother and our secret members to do it. They're friends anyway."

Itachi snorted. "I don't know if I would call them friends."

Pein shook his head. "Just do it." He suddenly pushed Konan off his knee. I smirked as the girl stumbled to regain her balance. "And with that, this meeting is over. You can all go back to your normal lives now." He looked at Tobi. "Do you have anything to offer us?"

Tobi nodded. "Tobi made cupcakes!" He quickly scurried into the kitchen and brought back a tray of pastries. "Hee, all of you can have one! Itachi-san, I made an extra one for your brother!" I quietly shook my head as the guy started passing out the sweets. Not only was Tobi an idiot, but he had a bad habit of talking in the third-person.

"Wow, Tobi," Kisame realized as he was given a cupcake with light blue frosting and dark blue sprinkles, "you went all-out and made ones with our favorite colors." He grinned. "That's pretty cool of you." I always knew that Kisame had a soft spot for the orange mask-wearing moron.

Tobi giggled and turned towards the rest of the group. "Deidara-sempai!" he cheered. "I made one for you with EXTRA frosting!"

The guy SO wanted to get into that whore's pants.

"Hidan-san," he said to me, "this one is for you." He held up a treat with pink frosting and red sprinkles. "I hope you like it!"

I stared at the frosting. It reminded me of Tayuya.

Once the food was gone and people started leaving, Kakuzu pulled me into a corner of the hallway outside Tobi's room and pressed his finger against my lips to silence me. "Listen," he urged, "after you called me, I got a break from work. I did a little background check on that Tayuya girl you told me about." He leaned in close to me and whispered, "She's the daughter of Orochimaru."

My eyes shot open wide. No way. NO. FUCKING. WAY.

"That means that she's the daughter of a yakuza boss, one of the most famous of our time," my friend murmured. "I would stay away from her if I were you. Orochimaru used to be a member of Akatsuki until he graduated from high school. After that, he quickly rose in the ranks of the yakuza thanks to his gang experience. He was one of the best members Akatsuki ever had."

I pushed Kakuzu's finger away. "Exactly how good was this bastard?" I asked.

"Let's put it this way: We've been accused of murder in the past, right? However, all charges were cleared in court. This guy was so good that he was never even caught in the first place. He could kill a target and get out of there before anyone even knew what was happening. He embezzled a ton of money from countless companies and was never even suspected." Kakuzu paused. "If this guy finds out you're seeing his daughter, he'll kill you, no doubt."

I grit my teeth. "I'm not seeing her, asshole!" I whispered urgently. "I've run into her twice, and she's beaten me up! Look at my cheek!" I turned my head. "It's probably starting to fade right now, but you can see the remains of a punch mark there, can't you?"

Kakuzu squinted but soon took a step back. "Holy shit," he murmured. "This chick has SERIOUS issues, but she must be damn good if she can land a punch on you AND manage to hurt your neck all in one day." He shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe it." He quickly narrowed his eyes and stared at me. "Stay away from her," he warned me. "You'll get worse if you meet up with her again."

I nodded and started walking down the stairs, my friend following me

I didn't want to think about not seeing Tayuya again.

In fact, I wanted to see her, badly.

Unfortunately, I put my best avoidance tactics to work. I avoided Tayuya like the plague for at least two and a half months after that meeting. I was sure to keep a lookout for that long, pink hair and those chocolate brown eyes.

Still, part of me REALLY wanted to look into those eyes and touch that hair.

Damn it. DAMN IT. I was SO out of it!! This was NOT me! I wasn't supposed to be interested in dating. I knew I wasn't gay, but I was also not into girls. I figured I would spend the rest of my life alone, which was okay with me. When you grow up alone and don't feel any love from your family, you get used to the idea of living alone forever. I had no family to speak of, so the idea was even easier for me.

Besides, the Holy Book of Jashinism clearly states that one may not love; one may only hate.

When I had first learned about that though, I started realizing just how easy hate was. It was so damn easy to hate someone. To start off, I hated Asuma-sensei for being a slave-driving bastard and an uncaring jerk when it came to my hair. I hated Kakashi-sensei for being a book whore who made us read crappy so-called "classics" while he sat at his desk and read porn. I hated Konan for being a total bitch who just LOVED to watch me mess up. I hated Pein for constantly assuming I was gay and not always backing me up when I needed a good excuse. I hated Sasori for being an impatient asshole. I hated Deidara for being a whore or transvestite, whatever he was. I hated Zetsu for being just plain freaky. I hated Tobi for being an idiot who was now threatening to beat me in academics. I hated Kisame for his make-up. I hated Itachi for being so damn popular. I hated Kakuzu for being selfish and greedy.

For a long time, hate worked well with me.

I could live my life hating people, I knew. The more people you love, the lonelier you could feel, so I decided to hate everyone around me when I first converted to Jashinism after my parents had abandoned me.

However, I wasn't so sure if this strong feeling for Tayuya was hate or not.

This feeling I had...I don't know how to explain it. It was a bit like hate, I think, but there was a part of me that made me convinced that it was NOT hate. It was like...a feeling of envy...of jealousy...

...and need.

You know how sometimes you get so pissed off at someone that you just want to kill that person? And how that's the ONLY thing you can think about? How it messes up your life in every sense of the word? Like...it was some sort of torture happening inside. There were moments when I couldn't eat, not even my favorite ice cream bars. Any time I would try to eat, my stomach would flip, and I would lose my appetite, usually following by a long line of cursing and sacrifices to Jashin.

Hell, I was so damn crazy that I would sacrifice anything. If a stupid fly were to come into my room, it would be as good as dead on that symbol under my bed, sliced to bits with my scythe.

Looking back, that might have been just a little drastic.

Still, there was a part of me that felt as though this wasn't just pure hate. I knew what hate felt like, hell yeah, and this was NOT it. You know how if your mortal enemy gets beat up by some other enemy, you get all pissed? It was like that. It was as if my head was screaming, "I want to kill that damn bitch so badly! But I'm the only one who can do it. If anyone else touches her, that asshole is as good as dead!"

So I wanted to kill her and protect her at the same time.

Oh, shit.

One night, I just got so frustrated with it all. I needed a drink, so I headed out towards the bar where Kakuzu worked. He would let me in, no doubt.

But when I parked my bike next to the curb outside the bar, I almost considered going back home and hiding.

Tayuya was sitting on the bench outside.

I was just about to put my helmet back on and speed away, but two words stopped me.

"Hi, fucker."

TO BE CONTINUED