Author's Note: Once again, you guys rock for taking the time to read this crack pairing fic. Damn, I love you all.

Title: Religion and Music

Chapter 5: When I Anticipated Her

The bar incident actually happened during summer vacation. Sorry, I had forgotten to mention that.

It was easy to forget though, because, for the most part, the Akatsuki was working on the assignments that Pein had given us. Kakuzu and I, however, were told not to go after "Two-Tails" until at least three of the others had been caught and beaten up. Why? I have no damn idea. I just know that I was happy to have something of a break, especially after what I had witnessed at the bar.

By the time the second semester of school started, I realized that that image of Tayuya would be stuck in my mind forever. Damn.

I received news to move forward with my assignment on the day before school started. I was eating a strawberry ice cream bar when my phone rang. Still lying on my bed, I reached out and grabbed it after the third ring. "Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Hidan, it's Kisame," my friend greeted.

I nodded even though I knew Kisame couldn't tell. "What's up?" I continued. "Something going on?"

"Itachi and I tried going after 'Nine-Tails' like Pein told us to," he explained, "but we were stopped. The kid is not only stronger than we thought, but his grandfather was nearby when we struck. Now, seriously, this guy looks like an absolute fool, but he's tough."

"The kid or the old fart?"

"The old fart."

"Shit."

"Exactly." I heard Kisame sigh on the other end. "It was absolutely ridiculous. We had the kid RIGHT THERE in PERFECT conditions for being kidnapped or at least beaten up. Then, out of nowhere, Sasuke comes along and starts yelling at Itachi, something about not being satisfied or complaining about some nighttime training session. I don't know."

I shivered. Kisame could be so fucking dense sometimes.

"But then 'Nine-Tails's" grandpa comes along and nearby beats the crap out of us while Sasuke's shouting about him being the only one who can hurt Itachi under certain conditions or something like that. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention, but I do remember Gai-sensei running in and kicking the grandpa in the face."

I sat up in bed. "What the hell?" I asked. "Gai-sensei? As in our physical education teacher?"

"Yes!" Kisame shouted. "And you know what else?"

"What?"

"The idiot didn't remember my name!! I've only been his student for about two-and-a-half years now, so you'd THINK he would get my name straight! At least my last name! But no, this idiot just kept saying. 'I think I know you from somewhere.' WHAT A MORON!!"

I groaned. "Kisame, what does any of that have to do with your assignment?"

There was a long silence. "Uh, nothing, I guess," my friend finally said. "I was just offended. Wouldn't you be?"

"Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass if the stupid-as-hell teacher doesn't remember who I am."

More silence.

"Okay," Kisame agreed, "I'll shut up. Before I do though, just know that Pein has decided to take matters concerning 'Nine-Tails' into his own hands. He and his siblings and cousins are going to take care of him. In other words, we managed to catch two others, and the art brothers are working on their target."

"Are you sure they're not just using this mission as an excuse to have some alone time?"

Kisame snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"I bet those two are trying to set a record," I laughed. "They're going to travel all over the world and see how many different high school bathrooms they can screw in." Kisame joined me in laughing.

"So much for this operation being sneaky!" I could tell that he was grinning wickedly on the other end. "Those two really can't shut up whenever they do it, can they?"

I shook my head. "No, they can't," I agreed. "Anyway, thanks for the update, Kisame. Who are you and Itachi going after next?"

"'Four-Tails'."

"Good luck."

"Thanks. Later."

I set the phone down and sighed. I knew I would have to go after my target with Kakuzu soon. It just bothered me that this mission had to be stretched out for so long. I wondered why we couldn't just all go after the different threats at the same time, but I slapped myself before I could think about that too much. I sounded like Sasori.

While I was thinking of him, I remembered something that Deidara had once told me. Now, even though I often make fun of the blond whore and tease him about his girly features, he's actually a good friend of mine. I just don't see him that much. Most of the time, he's with Sasori, and they're usually, uh, busy with something, making contacting him at a decent time difficult. Plus, his apartment is pretty far away from mine. It's even further away than Tobi's, but I guess that that's what happens when you live in the big city. Sure, public transportation could probably get me anywhere I wanted to be in a decent amount of time, but there's just no way in hell I'd ever give up a trip on my bike. Nope.

Seriously though, while it really doesn't seem like it, Deidara actually tells me a lot of things. Whenever he needs to rant about something, he comes to me if he feels he can't go to Sasori. Most of the time, Sasori is the one he's complaining about when he talks to me. It's always, "Sasori no danna only made love to me twice last night, un!" or "Sasori no danna told me my sculpture was too pretty to be blown up, un!" or "Sasori no danna said my hair wasn't as shiny as it usually is, un!"

WHY I listen to that transvestite is beyond me.

But at that moment, as I was sitting there on my bed, I was hating myself for not listening to him more. Maybe if I had actually listened to what he was saying, I would have gotten an idea about what love is. Regardless of how much he complained, Deidara claimed to have loved Sasori more than he had even loved anyone else. I figured that when you're a whore, you don't really take the time to love anybody but whatever. It wasn't like I could say that from experience.

I finished the last of the ice cream and threw the stick across the room, where it landed in some random pile of crap. I sighed as I set my head back on the pillow. If Deidara, a total whore who sometimes called himself a terrorist-in-training, could love someone, could anyone learn to love?

Then, I did the unthinkable.

I sat up, picked up the phone, dialed a number, and listened for the greeting. Surprisingly, I got a response after a single ring. "Hello, un?" I heard the blonde say.

"Hey, Deidara," I murmured, "are you busy right now?"

"No, I'm not," my friend replied. "Sasori no danna is working tonight. He won't be back until late since he's got an idea for a new model. What is it, un?"

"Could you come over to my place?" I asked.

"Hidan, you do know that I'm taken, right, un?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M FUCKING ASKING FOR, YOU WHORE!!" I shouted. Jashin, why did EVERYONE assume I was gay? Is it the hair?! ...Okay, maybe it's the hair. After all, I didn't know that many straight guys who spent as much time on their hair as I did. Forgetting my girly habits, I took a breath and calmed down. "Sorry about that," I muttered. "Could you just come to my apartment though? Or could we just go somewhere? I want to talk to you about something."

"Can't you just ask me over the phone?" Deidara asked.

"No, I want to talk in person."

"Okay. Why don't we go to the park, un? It's getting late anyway. I doubt there will be a lot of kids around."

"That's fine with me."

"Alright, un, I'll be there soon."

As soon as I hung up, I threw my leather jacket on along with my ring, just in case, and walked out of my room, locking it up behind me. The park was actually a really good idea, since it was about half-way between where our apartments were. I sighed. It would probably be relaxing.

When I stepped out of the building, I realized that the weather had begun to change. The heat and humidity of the summer was slowly leaving us to be replaced with the cool, crisp air of autumn. I never liked summer, so I was happy to feel the cool breezes starting up. It felt nice. My bare chest was a little cold, but that was nothing a good zipper couldn't fix. It did so as I boarded my bike and put my helmet on. Quickly, I started the engine and felt it light up beneath me.

If I haven't said it once, I'll say it again: I fucking love this bike.

I zipped through the city streets and found myself at the park in about twenty minutes. Deidara had been right about it not being crowded; almost all of the kids were gone, and there weren't even that many adults there. I was a bit shocked actually, considering how nice the weather was. Shrugging that thought off and thanking Jashin for the privacy, I parked my bike near the curb and walked up to an open grass area. I sat my ass down on the bench and waited.

While I did so, my mind wandered. There were only two semesters of school left, and then I would graduate, thank Jashin. I never wanted to go back to Shinobi High ever again. I just wanted to take those final exams, consider a place to go to college, and leave. I didn't want to put up with the crappy literature from Kakashi-sensei, the endless laps around the school from Gai-sensei, the ridiculous history lessons from Iruka-sensei, the stupid home economics demonstrations from Kurenai-sensei or the shitty, pointless geometry from Asuma-sensei.

Speaking of that asshole, I couldn't help but wonder if the second semester of geometry would be as much like torture as the first one was. Somehow, Jashin knows how, I managed to pull a passing grade for the semester out of my ass. I guess that actually attempting to do the homework helped. I figured it couldn't hurt.

I wouldn't mind heading back for biology with Yamato-sensei. He was reasonable enough. When he wasn't gushing on about how we all have to go green and save the trees, he let us dissect things. Hey, it was a small price to pay for extra sacrifices to Jashin. I wondered if he would let us cut up more innocent animals.

And then, out of nowhere, my mind drifted off to Tayuya.

Was she okay? Had Kimimaro taken care of her? He seemed to be a nice enough guy. I mean, he actually took the time to go get his bitchy little sister and bring her home safely. I couldn't think of many guys who would do that for such a bitch, except for maybe Pein if Konan was ever hurt. I just thought that it was so ironic how such a nice guy could be related to such a bratty girl.

I came to one conclusion: That house was screwed up beyond belief.

"Hidan," I heard Deidara call. I looked up and saw the blonde walking towards me with a pleasant smile on his face. "I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I, un?"

"Don't confuse me with Sasori," I snorted. "I'm a pretty patient guy."

Deidara's smile widened. "I know, un. I'm just so used to asking." He sat down next to me. "So what did you want to talk about, un?"

I couldn't believe I was about to ask what I did.

"When did you know that you were in love with Sasori?"

The blonde immediately flushed bright red and turned away from me. I waited for him to turn back to me, and when he did, his eyes were wide, and his palms were resting against his blushing cheeks. He looked embarrassed. Hell, the whore looked like a friggin' virgin.

"Well, I guess I always liked him a bit," he began, still holding onto his pink face. "I always thought that he was handsome, so I guess I developed a crush on him in middle school." He paused. "I wouldn't say it was love though until I discovered that he had joined the Akatsuki. I went and joined just so I could be close to him."

"Did you even want to be part of the Akatsuki?" I asked.

Deidara shook his head. "No, I didn't, un. I just wanted to be close to Sasori no danna." He suddenly smiled sheepishly. "Don't get me wrong though, un. I like being part of the Akatsuki! If I hadn't joined, I wouldn't have met all my great friends, un! And Sasori no danna probably wouldn't love me the way he does now."

One of my eyebrows rose. "So you think that Sasori wouldn't have noticed you if you weren't part of the Akatsuki?"

"Well, maybe," the blonde murmured. "One night, he came over to my apartment and whispered, 'I want you.' I was shocked, un! I didn't know that he liked me that much! I mean, he was nice to me, so I figured that he liked me well enough, but I never thought that he would come over and practically confess to me in the middle of the night, un! It was actually...kind of romantic."

I frowned. "So you love this guy because he came over one random night and screwed you?"

"It was my first time, un!" Deidara cried. "He was so gentle with me. He took such good care of me. And then when we woke up in the morning, he told me that he thought I was beautiful, un. He said that he liked everything about me. He was such a gentleman, un. He vowed to take care of me and make me happy no matter what." He paused and blushed. "Ever since then, he's always taken care of me. He loves me enough to make up for the lack of love in my family, un."

That line stuck in my head. I knew that everyone in the Akatsuki didn't have a great childhood or family, so it was to be expected that they would seek out some love among the others close around them. I could understand Deidara and Sasori, really. Sasori's parents had been killed when he was a child, so he had been left alone to be raised by his old grandmother. When she passed on, he was all alone, so I guessed that he somewhat needed love from Deidara just as much as Deidara needed love from him. It was starting to make sense.

Of course, in my opinion, that didn't give Itachi and Sasuke the right to do the things they did, but I wasn't in the mood to bring up their sick relationship.

I sighed and looked towards the grass. "Thanks for answering my question," I whispered. "I owe you."

Deidara looked up at me and tilted his head. "Why did you ask?" he murmured. "Are you in love with someone, Hidan?"

I shrugged. "I don't know if it's love or hate."

Deidara was silent for a moment. "Is it that pink-haired girl?" he suddenly asked.

My head shot up. "How the hell did you know?" I gasped.

The blonde shook his head. "I heard Kakuzu talking with you about some girl after the meeting at Tobi's apartment a few months ago, un," he explained. "I heard the name 'Tayuya' and decided to check some of those online profile websites for any information. She didn't have a profile, but some of her brothers do. The twins share a profile, and they actually spend a lot of time writing about their family. It sounds like a pretty messed up one, un."

I rolled my eyes. "You have no damn idea."

Deidara sighed. "She's a pretty girl," he continued, "but her father is that yakuza boss Orochimaru. I know that Kakuzu told you to stay away from her, but if you love her, you should try to be close to her."

"I told you that I don't know if it's love or hate."

"Figure it out then, un!"

"It's not that easy! She's not coming to my apartment wanting to get screwed, damn it!"

Deidara blinked twice. "Then work on figuring it out, un!" he insisted. "If you don't, you might lose her!"

"Can we change the subject?" I growled. "I don't need you or anyone else trying to preach romantic advice to me." I frowned bitterly and came up with a random conversation topic. "Are you planning on going to college with Sasori?"

Deidara's eyes went wide. "I...I don't know," he whispered. "Sasori no danna wants to go to this big, fancy art school. He wants to learn more about building things and get discovered by a major company. He wants to go all-out on finding his career at an early age, un." The blonde was quiet for a moment before adding, "I don't know if I can go to the same college. It's the kind of place where you have to have your work be unanimously approved by everyone on the board." Another silence. "My work is usually gone before it can be approved, un."

I shrugged. "I don't know shit about art. All I can do is pray you figure yourself out."

Deidara grinned. "Thank you, un." Suddenly, his cell went off. He grabbed it out of his pocket and answered it quickly. "Hello?" He immediately gasped. "Sasori no danna! You're getting off work early, un? Yay! Um, I'm out right now, but I'll be at your apartment soon. Okay, good. I love you, Sasori-sama, un!" He hung up his phone and smiled like a schoolgirl. "Sasori no danna is getting off work early! I have to go see him, un!" He gathered himself together and ran for the park exit. "I'll talk to you later, Hidan! Good luck with your girl, un!"

I wasn't in the mood to shout back as I watched the giddy blonde run down the street towards his boyfriend's apartment. I just shook my head and leaned back against the bench.

School was going to start first thing in the morning. I'd have to go back to dealing with my shitty teachers and studying to try to graduate.

I didn't care though. I knew I'd see a certain person there.

I knew that Tayuya would be there, and I couldn't fucking wait.

TO BE CONTINUED