Disclaimer: I'm poor. I own nothing
--o--o--o--
Staring at the stunned faces Xander briefly considered running. Then he realised he was on a cargo ship out in space somewhere and that didn't exactly leave many places to run to.
"Married?!" Simon exclaimed. "How in tyen shiao-duh are you married to my sisters?!"
"Easy there doctor," Mal said as he grabbed the man's arm before he did something foolish. Like get himself beaten to a pulp by their guest. Doc had many a talent, fighting's not among them. "Imagine he's just as surprised as I am with my wife."
"Not to mention your sister's kwong-juh duh," Jayne cut in, apparently thoroughly enjoying the doctor's displeasure. "Complete whack job that one."
"Ya, it's probably just a misunderstanding. You know how River can get. Maybe she was just playin' a game" Kaylee said as she gave Simon's hand a reassuring squeeze. He seemed, Xander noticed, to relax slightly at her touch.
"At the risk of upsetting overprotective brothers," Xander spoke up with a hand sheepishly half raised, "and people with guns, but I think I actually did marry her."
"Go on son," Shepherd Book encouraged before anyone else could interrupt.
"Well the thing is, I remember everything you read us. The flowers, the wine, the dancing, all of it." Xander paused for a second, a small smile forming on his face. "Seemed like great fun at the time. Haven't had any of that in awhile. Saw someone else doing the same thing so I didn't see any harm in it."
"You're blaming this on me?" Mal exclaimed incredulously.
Everyone ignored him as they focused on the young man looking like he was about to throw himself out the air lock just to get away.
"Tough break," Jayne said before climbing the stairs. "I'll be in my bunk."
Kaylee came and put a comforting arm around his shoulder. "You poor man."
"If you need any advice-"
"Husband." Zoë cut in causing Wash to shrug, but stop making that offer.
"Hey!" Mal called out. "How come this was funny when it was me but this guy gets sympathy?"
"Because we know you?" Wash stated/asked.
"Ya Captain." Kaylee agreed. "All the world's you've been to you should know better."
"How do we know he shouldn't?"
Kaylee waved him off. "He's got kind eyes."
Mal stared at her like she'd grown a second head before throwing his hands up. "That's it! I'm going to go find my wife!"
"Me too."
"I should find River."
Came the simultaneous responses as the captain left the room. They turned to each other, Simon with a glare and Xander with an unreadable expression. The staring contest carried on for over a minute before they both abruptly left the room. In opposite directions.
--o--o--o--
Evidently Xander didn't have to go far before he found her. Or, more accurately, she found him.
He'd just finished searching the common room when River appeared from nowhere and swung herself into his arms. Xander only caught her on reflex as he tried to will himself not have a heart attack.
"Husband," she proclaimed with a wide smile.
"Sorry to break this to you," Xander told her as he gently put the younger girl down. "But we aren't staying married."
"Yes we are," she said simply, staying well within his personal space.
"No we aren't," he replied backing up a step.
"Yes." She followed.
Another step. "No."
"Yes." Again she followed
"No!" he exclaimed as he backed up further, but he just couldn't seem to get away from the persistent girl.
"Yes"
"NO!" Xander cried out, unsure whether it was because of the argument or the fact the she now had him trapped against the wall.
"You think I'm pretty," River put in suddenly as she ran her hands over his chest.
"Well ya, but – Wait, what?"
"You think I'm pretty," she repeated. "And we'll stay married."
Xander sighed and gently pushed her away. "Look, River, I'm sure you're a very nice girl, but we aren't going to stay married."
"Of course we will," River told him with like it was the most obvious thing in the world as she skipped towards the door.
"And how do you figure that?"
She stopped and gave him an impish grin over her shoulder. "Because the stars told me so."
And with that she was gone, leaving Xander staring dumbly where she had stood.
"Well," he said after a long moment, "that can't be good.
--o--o--o--
Xander looked carefully down both sides of the hall before closing the door to the small room he was given for his trip on Serenity. Immediately he locked the door, hoping to discourage crazy wives and overprotective brothers.
With a long sigh he ran his hands over his face.
Ahhh! Another fine mess you've gotten yourself into! He thought to himself.
After a few deep, calming breaths he turned to the large duffle resting on the bed. Barely three quarters full it housed nearly all his worldly possessions.
Opening it up Xander grabbed the paper bag resting at the top. Some fresh fruit he'd picked up on Triumph. He figured he would bring it to dinner as a peace offering of sorts.
Xander came up short as he saw the object the bag was resting on. A large old tome, not unlike the countless he had gone through back in Sunnydale. Only this one was obviously more modern, with colour pictures and paper quality that reminded him of the history books he read (skimmed) in high school.
Hesitantly Xander put the fruit aside and picked up the tome.
The book was a real find. As far as he could tell few books made it from Earth to this part of the 'verse, but occasionally he came across one that caught his eye. This one here was a history of the Watcher's Council. Or one volume of the collection anyways.
He turned to a well-worn page around the middle of the thick volume. A photograph of a battle hardened man dominated nearly half the page. Despite the eye patch one could almost confuse the man as his twin. If they ignored what seemed to be nearly a decade age difference that is.
Even though he had read it so many times since finding the tome Xander still felt his heart constrict as he read the heading at the top of the page.
Alexander Lavelle Harris
Traitor
