A/N: Hi kids! Here's an update. It keeps creeping up in the back of my mind that I have to update the story sometime, so here ya go. One thing you should know is that I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY! I refuse.
With that in mind here's the next chapter.
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Chapter 20
"Escape"
Draco
Tears blurred my vision as I locked my apartment door for the last time. The keys jangled as my hand trembled and I shoved the piece of metal towards its designated slot.
"Shit." I murmured when it didn't fit and I continued to fiddle with it, hoping the door would have some mercy on me and magic lock itself.
Just as I was about to get out my wand and mutter a basic locking spell, Franc approached from behind. I knew it was him. He'd been injured in a war and so he walked a little more heavily on his left leg than his right, effectively slowing the sound of his gait.
"Mr. Malfoy."
"I'm fine."
"Are you? I've never, not once, seen you this shaken Mr. Malfoy and I have seen quite a lot from you."
"I said I'm fine!"
What I'd meant to come out as an angry lashing, instead sounded like a wounded cry, so pitiful and unconvincing.
"Mr. Malfoy, forgive me for being too forward, but I have seen you around with this Potter. If he is causing you this much pain is he really worth the tears?"
"Franc," I whispered, gripping his shoulder. "I know you're just trying to help but he…he meant the world to me."
"Then why is he not with you?"
"Some things were…said and…done. They can't be taken back, and nothing will be the same between us."
"So you're running away from him?"
"Leave it, Franc." I replied harshly and pushed past him.
As I was trudging out the door to the waiting cab, I looked back. I didn't want to leave Franc like this. I would never see him again. I was about to go back and apologize but stopped in my tracks.
No. This isn't about them anymore. This is about my child and I. My life is about that now, and I can't concern myself with people that will soon be apart of my old life. A life I can never go back to, not even if I wanted to.
Pulling my coat tighter over my body I sniffled and closed the cab door, looking out to my building. I whisper a quiet goodbye through the glass to the walls. It is the only goodbye I give.
- -
"Now boarding, Flight 89, to London."
I groaned and stretched, gathering my belongings and preparing for the security check. I'd worn my favorite beige slip-ons so that I could get through quickly and I had shipped most of my things to my new address before the day of the flight. Shifting slightly I started to walk on my sore feet towards the gate and stopped just short of the line.
"All that's left is getting on then."
The voice that spoke those words was familiar, but contorted by rage and fear.
I close my eyes and steel myself and then I turn.
Harry
"Harry." He says, "What are you doing?"
"I could ask you the same question. Where the fuck do you think you're going?"
"You don't own me!" Draco yelled frantically.
"I know I don't, but I thought we had an agreement. I thought we were partners. I planned on sticking by that commitment and I thought you were too."
"Well plans change, don't they?"
"And you want to run? This is what you're going to do?" I was angry, full of fire.
"I have no choice."
"Tell me Draco, what are you going to say when he or she grows up without his or her other parent? What are you going to tell them?"
"That he was pathetic. That he left me no choice."
"Draco-"
"NO!" he bellowed. He looked around in embarrassment at the other passengers staring at us as they were boarding. "I'm not going to argue with you. Harry you were everything to me, and you threw that away the moment you killed my father."
"But-"
"No. We're done, we're not going to rehash this over and over again. I just…I don't think I could go through everyday living in the same house as the man who murdered my father."
"I'm supposing you'd rather be dead then?" It was cheap, I knew. But I was grasping at strings, fighting for anything to say that could make him change his mind. I was fighting a losing battle.
"Maybe."
The statement rung through the air and stood between us, like a wall.
Still looking me dead in the eye, his now watering, "I've got to go now. My flight is boarding."
And that was it. There was no hesitation; there was no look back over the shoulder. He was simply there, and then he wasn't. When, after two more hours of standing there, after two hours of his absence, I turned on my heel and did the only thing that was left for me to do. I went home.
- -
Draco
Fifteen minutes after take off I was in the cramped airplane bathroom, bent over the loo and throwing up my breakfast. Not that I'd eaten much. Whether this was all due to Harry or the baby might as well have been a mystery of the universe as far as I was concerned.
I took a clean cloth and wiped my mouth of with it before grimacing. I could vaguely make out the distinct taste of my onion bagel with raspberry cream cheese and milk that was almost bad.
Sticking out my tongue, I finally took a glance in the mirror and was rewarded with the sight of myself: totally disheveled, totally messy, and really disgusting.
My innate sense of aristocracy was surging through me, and I began to wet down my hair lightly with sink water. After getting that straightened out I took the time to wash my face and then pull out a few breath mints, and lets not forget the hand sanitizer.
Composing myself I walked out to my seat, next to an elderly old woman whose name I believe to be Ella. She was a lovely woman, one of those whom held tea parties and had a book club among her friends.
Happy that my flight mate wasn't some horrid plump man that would regale me tales of his childhood where his dad beat him and his mum fed him coffee cakes all the time, I sat in rapt attention to all her stories. It was like…oh what are those muggle books called? "Chicken soup for the Pregnant Wizards Soul" or something.
"That's when he went away. I fought with him about it for months before he left. His mind was set, and I couldn't change that. He was going to go and fight the war for what he believed in, for those he believed in. protecting. Two months later, I get the letter."
"The letter?" I ask.
"When a loved one dies, they either send an officer to tell you, or they send a letter. I got a letter."
"Oh my God! That must have been horrid!"
"Yes well. I loved Henry with all my heart, and that will never change. But sometimes…circumstances force us to make decisions we don't want to make. He could either fight the war or go to jail and that was final. He could've done any number of things. He could have run away and become a fugitive, but he would have to live with the fact that he ran away from protecting his life and his family."
"But…There must have been something else he could have done? Surely there could have been another way?"
I cursed the tears that threatened to spill out of their ducts. Normally such a thing wouldn't affect me and I was reminded sharply once again that I have another human being inside of me. My hormones were testimony to it.
"Draco dear…that is your name? You must forgive me; I am getting on in my years. Draco, when someone loves something or someone else that much. They'll do anything to get back to that person safely, do anything to protect all that they cherish. For Henry there was no choice."
"It's circumstantial though!" I was furious that she didn't see. "Love isn't perfect."
"No, of course it isn't dear." Ella Chuckled. "But then again it isn't awful."
"Yeah." I sniffled.
Turning slightly to face me, Ella leaned back and studied my face.
"Something tells me that you haven't exactly experienced the brighter side of love recently."
I snorted and the sun glared into my eyes as I stared out my window.
"You could say that. My…lover…recently did something that I don't think I can forgive."
"Well dear, I don't think your lover could have done something that-"
"He killed!" I snapped. I sat breathing heavily; exasperated by her 'dears' and her caring tone.
Facing forward once more Ella looked towards the floor as if pondering a great mystery of life.
Then quietly, "My husband did horrible things. Terrible acts that our government commended. But no matter how heinous his crime, his heart was pure. As long as he knew that and I knew that, then we needed nothing else from it."
I shook my head, placing my hands at my temples as to clear my thoughts.
"It isn't the same. Every human life has value and no amount of rationalization can change that. Evil acts have been committed with the best of intentions."
"Yes, true. But every human also has the right to live. Has the right to freedom without pain or terror. It's those rights that you have to decide when others rights infringe upon your own. If you can't end that violation on peaceful terms, one must use any means necessary to stop that infringement."
My eyes narrowed and I stared at her. "Your husband…do you imagine it was easier for him? To close his eyes at night because these people, the enemy, had faces and guns, but no name or family? It must have been so easy for him to remove the obstacles in his way of returning home."
"I won't say it was easy for my husband to imagine them as obstacles and not people. But he envisioned a better future. For his family, his country…the world. And he saw those people that would take that vision away from him. He couldn't change their minds-"
"So he killed them? Like the Nazis did with the obstacles of the Jews? That's humane."
Ella sat to her full height and looked me in the eye. "Young man you are twisting my words! Your experience of love has left you bitter and that is what makes the difference. The Nazis did what they did out of hatred. My husband did what he did out of love and fear, as I'm sure your lover did as well." She sat back and closed her eyes, pausing for a moment. "Man is a creature of fear."
Not knowing what else to say, and having been no more clear on many things, I lay back and also closed my eyes.
"We are also creatures of habit."
Harry
"Was I wrong?" my hands hung in the air questioningly.
"I can see why you did it."
"But…was I wrong?"
"No. I don't think so. How you handled Draco however, was not the best way you've ever done things."
"Well what short of incarcerating him could I have done?"
"Stop him. Tell him you love him and you aren't letting him leave."
"He would have gone ballistic!"
"Well you don't know that do you? And now you never will."
Slumping down into a chair I sighed, deflated.
"Wow Hermione, you sure know how to make a guy feel better."
"Well," she said, grabbing her sweater and leaning over, "I'm not trying to make you feel better now am I? I'm simply telling you what you don't want to hear: the truth."
With that she pecked me on my cheek and sauntered out of my hotel room, closing the door softly behind her.
"Urgh!" The thud from my fist slamming on the chair sounded in my ears only adding to the pending headache brewing in my mind.
The leather crunched when my hands pushed my weight from the seat, and I made my way to the cherry wood desk. Opening my computer, I decided it was time. I had to tell Draco…everything.
Bravely, more so then I actually felt, I opened a fresh page and began.
'Dear Draco…'
Draco
"Dear Draco," I snort. How original. "Although not my first choice of communication to tell you this, I can't phone you (your mobile service has been shut off) and I can't see you (as you've run off)."
I lean back in the computer chair the hotel provided and rub my eyes. Wincing as I feel the burning sensation, I decide to get eye drops. Once I get settled I return to the email.
"But this isn't about blame or guilt. This is about you and me. Draco I love you. When I saw that you were in danger I only knew one thing. I had to save you. I didn't stop to think how or why, just that I couldn't lose you. Thinking back to that day when you told me how your father treated you, how hurt you had been by him, I vowed to NEVER let him hurt you again. I suppose in trying to accomplish that, I didn't realize that I could hurt you too. For that I am truly sorry. I have failed you, and I could never ask your complete forgiveness. If you should ever want to talk, should ever so desire to even glance my way again, please know that I'm here. For anything. Yours truly, Harry."
Grabbing the nearest tissue box, I reached for a handful and buried my face inside the mountain of soft material.
"God!" Suddenly I was infuriated. "This is BOLLOCKS! The bastard!" Shamefully I dissolved into tears again.
"No."
Sitting up, I went back to the screen. Clearing my throat and shaking my head, I touched fingertips to keys and wrote.
Harry
"You've got mail."
The pre-recorded voice rang out into the dark. Upon hearing the proclamation, I stumbled across the room and read, my eyes squinting at the computer screen light.
"Harry, your apologies are received warmly. You have a good heart. But Harry, even those with the purest hearts are not without fault. Yes, you did try to protect me from my father, but you can not erase my pain by killing him. More importantly, you think because he was my father that I ran away from you. But think of how it would have been had I stayed. In a few years you would be in denial and I would pretend for your sake and we would end up alone with a child and hating each other. So in order to spare him or her I had to leave. And Harry? If you love him or her, really? Don't come after me. Signed, Draco."
----
"Hello?" A groggy voice asked on the other end of the line.
"Hermione, he did it!" my own sobs stopped me from further speaking.
" What Harry? What are you talking about?"
"Herm, he really doesn't want to see me any more. He's going to raise our child without me!"
Wearily she sighs.
"Harry, stay at your hotel. I'm going to floo in. I'll be there shortly."
"Thank you Herm."
Hermione hung up, the line closing. "Oh Harry. What have you done now?"
A/N: Well, I hope that was a sufficient update..I know it wasn't long and not a lot was said between the two, but…well really I don't know how I feel about the chapter. Hope you liked it though. Read and Review.
