Special Thanks to:

1) dreamsofinnocence for editing this once again
2) SeriousSiriusFan for the puffskien idea
3) Healer25 for breaking me out of that mental block by suggesting the use of Canon-related plots.

CHAPTER 16 - Detentions, Detentions, and Detentions...

Severus Snape angrily dragged a human-sized chicken all the way up the Headmaster's office; a short man hurried to catch up behind them. "Headmaster! It's not enough that we have to deal with brats who think themselves above the law but, now we have to contend with an overgrown felon who's experiencing a relapse of his marauder days!"

Beside the Potions Professor, Quirinus Quirrel cackled and flapped his large white chicken wings.

The Headmaster shook his head, "Remus is unwell at the moment, as you should know," blue eyes twinkled in amusement, "let's not jump to conclusions, Severus."

"But, the Spell Twisting Ward was used to protect that Flashing Rainbow Colour Charm placed on the DADA classroom door." Severus Snape argued, " We all know that Remus is the only one who can cast that spell, seeing that he invented it."

"Oh dear..."

The Headmaster turned his attention towards his Charms Professor, "Something the matter, Filius?"

"A thought just occurred to me ... You do know that I cannot resist but feed the inquiring mind..."

"Your point Filius?" Severus Snape impatiently growled.

"Yesterday, Sirius Black asked me if there was such a spell that could make an object change colours continuously..."

Severus Snape blinked and remembered that Sirius was also trying to get Remus Lupin to teach him the Spell Twisting Ward. "You and Lupin are a couple of dunderheads! Teaching Sirius Black a few new tricks, is like trusting a chimpanzee with matches!"

Filius Flitwick raised both hands in an attempt to calm the irate Potions Master, "Now Severus, that child is extremely brilliant and is hardly a chimpanzee. Moreover, our purpose for being here is to teach those children. There's hardly a reason to get angry, Sirius could merely be practicing."

"Practicing! Are you mad?"

"I told the boy that it takes practice to perfect the charm," The Charms Professor smiled brightly, "it seems that he finally got it."

Snape gave his colleague a disgusted look. "You complacent delusional fools may be willing to let that brat get away with this, but I won't! I'll go look for that currish ill-bred buffoon myself." He turned towards the door, when the Headmaster stopped him.

"Severus..."

"I'm not going to change my mind Professor..."

"I was not about to stop you. I only believe that you just ought to sit down and save yourself the effort."

Severus Snape frowned for Albus Dumbledore once again had that knowing twinkle in his eye, "What do you mean..."

"He's already on his way here." The Headmaster answered with a pleasant smile.

The door burst open as Madame Hooch rushed in. "Severus! Filius! Both of you would need to take care of your respective houses. There's been a dragon attack! It's a Chinese Fireball, the largest one I've ever seen!"

Madame Pomfrey stood behind the Flying Instructor. "Professor Trelawney saw it pass by her window. She was in hysterics, claimed that the dragon ate the Weasley Twins. I gave her a Sleeping Drought. Prefects are already routing the younger students back into their dorms and.…"

The door slammed open once again and in walked Minerva McGonagall, with the one and only Sirius Black by her side, "Call everything off. It's a false alarm." She then glared down at the boy by her side.

"But Minerva darling, I did it all for you. I mean what woman could resist a knight in shining armor battling a dragon...?" Sirius gulped as he felt the intensity of the Deputy Headmistress' glare. He bit his lower lip and thought that maybe, just maybe, he might have gone too far this time...

-0-

Hermione was glad that both Harry and Ron had finally seen the light, both had asked her to help them with their homework and they promised to drag Sirius along, to try to convince the moron to do a bit of homework as well. She entered the common room and was not surprised to see that only Ron and Harry waited for her by the fireplace.

"The idiot got detention again?"

Harry and Ron looked at one another and cracked up.

Hermione sighed. "Alright, how did he earn it this time?"

"Where shall we start, Harry?" Ron mused.

Harry laughed. "How about attempting to break Fred and George out of detention."

"He did succeed." Ron smirked, "Of course it was only temporarily..."

"Unlicensed flying and display of a dragon blimp..." Harry continued.

"Causing undue panic to the student body and faculty members."

"Copyright Infringement!"

Ron rolled over with laughter, "Don't forget, attempting to escape prosecution!"

Hermione's eyes widened, "That's not funny. How many points did we lose for that stunt?"

Harry and Ron looked at one another. "We don't know yet."

"What was that idiot thinking? Why does he pull these idiotic stunts?" Hermione stared exasperatedly at the ceiling as she asked.

Harry and Ron once again exchanged a few knowing looks.

"He was bored." Ron explained.

Hermione stared at both boys incredulously, "Bored?"

"Bored." Harry repeated earnestly.

-0-

"Let me get this straight Sirius, you made an exact replica of Ron's dragon chess piece, transfigured it's components to become a highly flexible muggle material called 'latex', enlarged it, filled it with hot air, and used a Levitating Charm to further boost it up the air. May I ask the purpose of which?"

"Well Professor Dumbledore," Sirius explained, "Hermione discussed latex in detail with Nathaniel, that it's very flexible, looks more realistic and not as heavy as stone or wood, so that gave me the idea. I also thought the details in that dragon piece looked good, so I used it. I didn't know it has a copyright protection charm..."

(FLASHBACK)

Sirius frowned as he heard a loud pop and Ron's chess piece emitted a high-pitched ringing sound. He figured that this is an indication that he ought to hurry. He did not know what he did wrong, but he'd find out sooner or later. Sirius smiled as his life-sized dragon balloon looked realistic enough and with a flick of his wand; the balloon started to drift up and fly towards the tower wherein Fred and George's detention was held.

Fred was surprised when he saw Harry's snowy white owl, Hedwig by the window. He did not have to say a word as his brother immediately went to distract Trelawney; this gave Fred ample time to accept the note from the owl.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Fred, George!

Harry and Ron refused to go along with me this time, but at least they've lent me Hedwig and the dragon chess piece. When the red dragon flies by your window, jump on it. This is the means towards your escape. Trust me on this.

Sirius

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Fred smiled for Sirius was as usual 'up to no good' which translated in Weasley Twins' language as 'fun'. He discreetly slipped the note to his brother and shrugged when George gave him a questioning look. Fred had no idea what Sirius was up to either.

Then they heard distant screams and explosions. Both twins rushed towards the window and saw mushroom shaped flames lighted the sky. They grinned at one another with pride, for Sirius obviously used their Weasley Mushroom Fire Rockets, but what awed them was the realistic-looking Chinese Fireball headed their way. Had Sirius not sent the note, they would have thought the dragon to be real.

-0-

Sirius threw himself on the couch beside Harry and laughed; Fred and George ran about the room and shouted jubilantly, "Free! We're free!"

Harry shook his head and frowned at the strange ringing noise that emitted from Sirius' pocket. "Sirius, what's that in you pocket."

"Oh, I almost forgot," he pulled out the small dragon chess piece and flipped it towards Ron. "Here's your you chess piece back. FULLY INTACT."

"Why is it ringing? What did you do to it?" Ron frowned as he examined the chess piece.

"I don't know. It just started to ring."

The portrait hole opened and Professor McGonagall entered with two elderly wizards that Harry had never seen before.

"Care to explain this Mr. Weasley?"

"Explain what. Professor?" Ron stared at McGonagall and the two men in confusion.

Fred and George gave one another a grim look, "We're doomed..."

(END OF FLASHBACK)

"I didn't want Ron to get into trouble for something I did, so I admitted to replicating the dragon chess piece and sort of improved on it. Mr. Watson and Mr. Burns saw my dragon balloon when they apparated to Hogsmeade; they came here and found Professor McGonagall, explained the copyright infringement and its likely connection to the dragon incident." Sirius sighed. "So, here I am."

Severus Snape's eyes glittered maliciously. "A couple of days in Azkaban would do that brat some good."

Minerva McGonagall eyes narrowed disapprovingly at Snape, "Fortunately, Mr. Watson and Mr. Burns willingly dropped the charges in exchange for a share on the dragon balloon patent. Those men believed that the balloon would be a big hit on the upcoming Quidditch cup." she glared down at the boy. "You got lucky, Mr. Black. Now I think we all need to discuss your fate for that stunt you pulled."

Albus Dumbledore cupped his hands under is chin and delivered the sentence. "50 points from Gryffindor and triple detentions for a whole month for you, Mr. Black."

Severus Snape blinked incredulously. "What? That's it?"

"No," the Headmaster's eye twinkled as he smiled.

"20 points for honestly, loyalty to friends, and willingness to take responsibility." Professor Sprout announced.

"What? Are you mad?"

"10 points for creativity and exceptional skills in transfiguration and charms" Filius Flitwick added with a smile.

"You're all mad!" Severus Snape's outrage was evident in his voice.

Dumbledore gave a pleasant smile and added. "5 points for excellent knowledge on muggle materials. Latex ... I'll have to look into that..."

Snape blinked and gaped at his colleagues, unable to believe the recent turn of events. Minerva McGonagall merely shook her head.

-0-

Harry took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He stifled a moan as he set the book aside. With Hermione's help (and Sirius' absence), he and Ron were able to finish their homework in record time. They went to the library to borrow a few books in an attempt to seek information on Nicholas Flamel and Diones D. Pilkee. So far, they had no such luck.

The portrait door swung open, and in tumbled Sirius and the Weasley Twins.

"So much for peace and quiet," Hermione grumbled as she too set her book aside.

Ron beamed and threw the book he held onto the pile as well and asked. "So? How did it go?"

Fred placed an arm around Sirius, "This boy, lost us 50 points."

"What?" Hermione blinked unable to believe that those idiots were taking this too casually.

"And he also gained us 35 points at the same time," George added.

Sirius smirked, "So that leaves me 15 points to regain for our house and thus maintain the balance. Also I've now officially beaten Fred and George's record," he beamed and picked up one of the books piled up on the table, "triple detentions for a whole month, so Ron, can you place in an additional 90 on my record book? What are you guys doing anyway?"

Hermione sighed. "Unlike you, we've done our homework and are now doing research on what project Dumbledore and his partner Nicholas Flamel had worked on. As well as some information on a Hogwart's ghost named Diones D. Pilkee."

"Boring." Sirius rolled his eyes and flipped the book closed. He read the title and smirked, "Modern Wizards? Are you guys daft? Dumbledore is OLD." He snickered and started towards the bookshelf on the rightmost corner of the common room, "You guys ought to research on the Classical Greats."

Fred and George rolled over in laughter as Sirius began to flip through a thick old book.

Hermione sighed, for the three idiots were at it again, she firmly believed that they would not be making any further progress in their research. She frowned at the troublemaker, "You know Sirius, it's admirable that you made sure to regain all the house points you've lost, but it would be better if..."

"Hey!" Sirius blinked in surprise, "I think I've found something..."

Hermione rolled her eyes for she would not fall for Sirius' stupid tricks this time. One of the things she had learned early on, was the fact that Sirius Black was a good actor. "Give us a break, Black. We won't fall for your..."

"I'm serious!"

Ron crossed his eyes and laughed, "Sure you are."

"I am! Check this out," He then began to read out from the book, "Nicholas Flamel was born in 1326, an Alchemist. Flamel lived in France in the fourteenth century and is supposed to have create the first and only Philosopher's Stone in existence. There are mentions of sightings of him throughout the centuries because he was supposed to have gained immortality. There are still streets named after Flamel and his wife Perenelle in Paris. Albus Dumbledore is believed to have done some alchemical work with him, although not the creation of that stone..."

Harry stood up and walked over, Sirius handed him the book to read over "Guys, its not a joke. The package taken from Gringotts may have been the Philosopher Stone."

"What's the Stone for?" Ron asked.

Sirius shrugged, "To create an Elixir of Life, thus whoever possesses the stone would have gained immortality."

"That must be what the dog guarded!" Ron jumped up, "but why would Snape want it?"

"Because the ugly git wants to live forever." Sirius supplied, "although if I had his face, I'd..."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "So that leaves Diones D. Pilkee."

Fred scratched his head, "Who?"

"A ghost I ran into."

George shook his head. "Never heard of him. Although maybe we can ask the other ghosts."

Sirius gave Ron a wicked grin, "Or we can ask Seidon..."

"No way! That kelpie doesn't know anything anyway, so why waste our time...Pilkee...P-I-E...kelpie...Diones...D-O-N...that leaves...That's it!"

All occupant of the room gave Ron a puzzled look.

"It's an anagram. Diones D Pilkee, Diones is Seidon, D sounds like 'the' and Pilkee is Kelpie!"

Hermione realized that the horse had, once again, fooled her. "When I get my hands on that dumb horse I'll..."

"Why'd he come see you?" Harry asked.

Hermione then remembered the letter. "The letter! I think it's with Neville..."

"I guess this means you no longer need a little reminder."

They looked up to and saw Hermione's 'ghost' leaned on the opened doorway.

"Seidon! Wicked new look!" Sirius jumped over the nearby table and headed toward his friend.

The kelpie tossed his head backwards. "Well, time for me to go now...Too bad I didn't get to try out that famous human ghostly greeting."

Sirius gave a bark-like laugh. "What famous human ghostly greeting?"

"Boo!" The kelpie replied flatly as he turned his heel, changed to back to a horse, and galloped away.

Sirius, Harry and the twins laughed; Ron shook his head while Hermione glared at the retreating horse.

Harry turned to Ron, "What do you say to paying Hagrid another visit?"

"Sorry, Harry That'll have to wait, we've got to pack. We're spending Christmas at home."

Harry frowned, "But I thought we'd all be spending it here."

"Mom changed her mind and asked us all home. You can come along too, Harry." Fred explained and shifted his foot nervously.

Harry noticed that Fred didn't invite Sirius and all three Weasley avoided his gaze.

"It's me isn't it?" Sirius suddenly spoke up, "Look, no sense in all of you guys getting into all this trouble. I heard your parents usually let you stay here, because it's more cost efficient, and Harry could use some more company. Tell her I'd be spending Christmas with the Malfoys."

"What?" Harry stared at Sirius, "I thought they've uninvited you."

"Apparently they had a change of heart, they're now insisting that I come." Sirius grinned and pulled out a letter, "Cissa said here that, despite everything else, I'm still family and they want to start afresh."

Hermione's eyes widened, "They just want to know about the Chronicles and the unicorn! You're not falling for that again, are you?"

"What do you know? Cissa has always been a bit nicer to me than Lucius was! You don't know anything!" He glared at Hermione, "Had it ever occurred to you Ms Know-it-all that maybe you're wrong? Slytherins are not necessarily evil. All my family are usually Slytherins."

Hermione tried to get a word in, "But..."

Sirius stalked off and headed to his room. Hermione glared at the other boys who only stared at their feet. "Why didn't any of you say something? Why would you allow your friend to fall for that load of baloney?"

"Well...Hermione, maybe it's true. Maybe his cousin did convinced her husband to be nicer to Sirius... I mean Sirius did say she was nicer than Draco or Lucius," Harry mumbled.

"I doubt that," Ron grumbled, "but that's a pretty wild accusation, Hermione."

Fred nodded, "You shouldn't have dashed his hope without so much of a proof."

George headed for the stairs, "Hey Fred, come on! Let's go invite Sirius along for that prank we planned on Percy."

"Right behind you brother!" Fred laughed as both boys clamored up the stairs.

Harry grinned, "Wait up! I thought we're a team."

"Yeah! We want in too!" Ron laughed as he and Harry ran up to join the duo.

Hermione sighed, "Here we go again..." she then started to contemplate on whether she should ask the kelpie for help, but then decided that the creature was too infuriating to deal with.

-0-

"Fred! George!" He loudly banged on the door. A few early risers stared at him, most of them at least tried to stifle their laughter. Percy Weasley's eyes narrowed into slits, his brothers have gone too far this time. Detention is too light a sentence; their mother ought to hear about this as well.

The door swung open, wide gray eyes stared back at him, "Oh wow! I didn't expect all your hair to fall out this soon. I predicted it'll take two years, maybe a receding hairline but not..."

He glared down at the boy, "Fred and George, where are they?"

"Fast asleep, but I wouldn't try to wake them up if I were you..."

He ignored Sirius and walked up to one of the twins, he kicked the bed hard when... "Arrgghhhh!"

"I tried to warn you. They've set booby traps all over after I woke them up several times." Sirius sat on his bed and pinched his nose for Percy had been sprayed with a bit of stink sap, "Whew! Would you mind if I open the window?" He then sauntered off to do so.

Percy gaped at the boy and held back a string of colorful curses when another voice chimed in.

"Bloody hell! What's that smell? Can't a guy get some sleep around this room?"

"Morning Ron," Sirius quipped as he opened the window.

"Black! I should have known you're the one to wake me up again at this ungodly hour!"

"Not me Ron, Percy here has decided to spring one of Fred and George's traps."

The head of a red-haired boy popped out from behind one of the curtains, his eyes widened at the sight of his brother before him. He then hid behind the curtains once again; his bed shook due to his silent laughter.

Harry woke up as well. He pulled open his curtains to watch the proceeding before him. Sirius sat beside him and offered a packet of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans.

Percy glared at the two First years who watched him eagerly and tried to wake the twins the old fashion way. "FRED! GEORGE! WAKE UP YOU BLISTERING MORONS!"

Both twins jumped awoke at the same time and rubbed their eyes. They stared at their brother before them, wrinkled their noses and rolled over in laughter.

"This is not funny! Now hand over the antidote!"

George turned towards Sirius, "Sirius, have you figured out the counter-potion yet?"

Sirius shook his head.

Percy stared at the two; "You're letting a First Year create an antidote for you? Are you both mad?"

"You always did say that we are. We merely thought that it'll be a good learning experience for the lad, and he wants to try doing so. There's no need to fear, the Weasley Invisible Hair Formula is not yet out in the market. You have the priviledge to try it out first," Fred grinned impishly.

"A product that has plenty of prank potential and some practical uses for people who doesn't want to shave," George added.

"Just hand over the formula and I'll figure it out myself."

"Hey! We have a deal here!" Sirius jumped up to argue, "Signed, enchanted and binding." he showed Percy a piece of parchment.

"Unfortunately, we agreed to give Sirius the chance to figure out the antidote, up until next week," Fred explained.

George elaborated, "In return, he may save us the trouble of doing so, but all patent of the Invisible Hair Formula and the counter-potion will be for Fred and George Weasley only. Sirius Black will forego all rights and patents to the antidote thereof."

Harry held back a smirk for they'd planted the same formula in the Slytherin's water tank...

-0-

Severus Snape woke up and felt something holding tight on his leg. meeepp He looked down and saw that something beige and furry has attached itself on his leg and purred meeep.

-0-

Hermione stared at the Slytherin's table, she wondered about this new 'Go-Bald and Shave Your Eyebrows' trend of the house. Several people from the different houses sniggered and pointed at the Slytherin's table. She ignored all this and headed for her intended destination. Neville Longbottom stared at the hairless Draco Malfoy and his two bodyguards. Draco glared at Neville who gulped and followed Hermione.

"Harry, Ron, I have the letter here, where's Sirius?"

"He and my brothers are having breakfast at the Headmaster's office," Ron sighed.

Hermione frowned, "Something tells me that this isn't good."

"Well it's a good laugh..." Harry felt two pair of eyes bore down on him and he faltered, "...at least I thought it was..." he mumbled.

-0-

Percy glared at his twin brothers as they tried to explain to the Headmaster.

"You see, the contract is binding and we can't allow anyone to see the formula except for Sirius, who's given a week to figure out the counter-solution, else we do it ourselves." Fred explained sadly.

George nodded, "And Sirius can't ask anyone for help because he would be breaching the contract and be revealing the ingredients that we used."

"And the purpose of this contract?" The Headmaster asked, his voice sound stern but his eyes twinkled in amusement.

Sirius answered, "I wanted to try doing this, and it seemed pointless if Fred and George or someone else can make a counter-solution at the same time."

"Well then," Albus Dumbledore smiled, "The solution is simple. Fred and George will get double detentions, and 10 points will be taken from Gryffindor for playing that prank on a Prefect and the Slytherins." He then turned his attention towards Sirius, "Now Mr. Black you have the chance to regain those lost points if you figure out that antidote within the day..."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest about his lack of time to do so, "But I have..."

"You will be spending those triple detention of yours today in the Potions Dungeon. I'll make sure that Professor Snape will leave you alone, so as to protect the patent. And this book will be helpful in figuring out the counter for certain ingredients." The Headmaster smiled and handed a book to Sirius.

Percy Weasley gaped and was about to protest, when Severus Snape entered the room, "Headmaster! Those brats are at it again!"

meep

"Hello Severus, That's a very cute puffskien you have there." The Headmaster gave the Potions Master a pleasant smile.

The Potions Master glared at the Headmaster and at the boys in the office. "This thing seemed to have permanently attached itself to my leg and every time I tried to pull it off..." he then demonstrated and pulled the puffskien off. MMEEEEPPPPP!

Everyone covered their ears and wondered how such a deafening sound can come out from such a small creature.

"It seems that the creatures likes you too much Severus." The Headmaster smiled as the puffskien purred and attached itself once again to Snape's leg.

-0-

"So Harry, would you want to spend Christmas with us? It's be fun, the feast may not be as big as the one here at Hogwarts, but at least you'll be spending it with friends."

Harry contemplated on the invitation, "So you won't really be spending it here as originally planned?"

Ron sighed. "At first, mum planned this to make sure Fred, George and I not spend anymore time with Sirius; but now she's really psyched about this rare occasion of having the whole family together for Christmas. Bill and Charlie are also coming."

"Are you sure your mum wouldn't mind?"

"She'd love to have you," Ron grinned.

"Hey Ron, what do you say to checking out that mirror again? We were interrupted the last time."

-0-

Narcissa Malfoy smiled as she read the letter, she walked up to her husband, wrapped her arms around him and whispered. "He seems very happy at being invited home for Christmas."

Lucius Malfoy grumbled, "At least someone is..."

"Now Lucius darling, you promised to be nice and act like you do want him around." Narcissa reprimanded her husband softly.

"I still don't see why I have to suffer."

Narcissa sighed and explained once again, "Because Sirius is more talkative when he's happy and unguarded. We do want to talk, don't we?"

"The things I do for power," Lucius sighed. "I do hope we get the information quickly, so I don't have to suffer from that brat's presence for long."

"Patience is virtue, dear husband." Narcissa smiled and walked back to her desk and prepared a reply.

-0-

Sirius sighed as he waited for the potion to boil. He has some time to kill so he pulled out the Black Chronicles and begans to write:

'Dad? You're not still mad about my picking Nathaniel as one of my ancestral guide are you? The book won't allow me to pick Regulus so he's the only one that I can think of -'

Strong dark script appeared on the book, "I suppose I cannot expect much. Narcissa was more concern about socializing and keeping up with appearances to have taught you much.'

'Dad, why do people fear me so much? I mean so many other families served Voldemort too but, they..."

"The name Black has always brought about fear and awe. We are the oldest wizarding clan that has ever existed."

Sirius frowned and stared at the ringed by his hand. "Does being a Black mean that we're more powerful than most.'

'Son, don't ever fall for that belief. The family ring my enhance whatever innate magic you have but, there are plenty on wizards more powerful than you. What is important is as a Black we carry an 'illusion of power'. Feed upon that illusion, the more they fear you, the more powerful you would seem.'

"Illusion? How?' Sirius remembered how Seidon also encouraged fear to display his strength.

'Secret spells, potions and artifacts that has been passed on for generations. It gives us the air of Mystery and hold onto the awe of the public. I have taught you one of my favourates, I could teach you more...'

Sirius then noticed that his solution has began to bubble, he then set the book aside and added the necessary powder.

-End of Chapter 16-

A/N: Sorry for the lack of serious events on this chapter. So some weird reason I'm having a hard time coming up with the more serious portions. (Must be because I'm on vacation) Anyway I'm posting this to show that I'm still alive and continuing this. I hope to have more things going by the next chapter.

BTW do check out my Regulus Fic - "Little King... Thy Kingdon Torned Asunder." I wrote it before the release of HBP. Just happy to know that my theory about him being braver than Sirius made him out to be at OTP maybe true.

P.S. I read HBP and all I can say is: "Now I have more incentive to torture Snape!"
dreams of innocence:
I completely agree! glares at Snape

AUTHOR'S REPLIES:

Prankster Perfect - Whoops I totally missed that. Harry Potter and the Return of Eliza? I'll check it out. I just read HBP JK outdone herself ... I didn't expect those twists and it's a whole lot darker than the others. This chapter is mostly pranks L the 'Non-S.P.A.W.N.' type. The Prankster rules? I just made them up ... I have no idea what the other are ... sorry...Glad you like my story. Sure I'll finish the 'This Old Man Song' grin e-mailed it but not sure if you got it ... so here it is:

This old man, he played one
He doesn't mind when we have fun
Snape blew up, Flickwick's a hairy king kong
This old man just whistled a song

This old man, he played two
He only smiled when we turned him blue
Lupin's got hiccups, Snivellus wearing a tutu
This old man played on his kazoo

This old man, he played three
We gave him a purple goatee
Quirell's so scared and he tried to stake Snape
This old man went to bake a cake

This old man, he played four
We sealed off all the doors
Teachers are stuck in, students stuck out
This old man fed the kelpie a trout.

This old man, he played five
Flitwick got hit by a large beehive,
Bees buzzed in, students hid under the chair
This old man ask Snape about his hair

This old man he played six,
We poured salt into the soup mix
Snape sang and danced, pulled Lupin off his seat
This old man asked for veggies and meat.

This old man he played seven,
Snape got attacked by all those raven
Quirell's a soggy mess, Flitwick's a bunny that hops
This old man offered us a lemon drop.

This old man he played eight,
Snivellus wailed about his state
McGonagall's well loved, she beats prefects off with a stick
This old man offered muggle lollies to lick

This old man he played nine,
We charmed the elves to look like mimes
Hagrid's been shrunk, Snivellus' a tatooed goon
This old man whistled a happy tune.

This old man he played ten,
In his room, we left some hens
Quirell's a frog, Snivellus' a fine feathered beast,
This old man prepared a chicken feast.

Joou Himeko Dah - OMG! Have you read it? I loved it! Its so much darker that her previous works. Fudge's out as well.

rockpaperscissors - Yes I did make up most of the rhymes some were offered by my generous reviewers who're great rhymers themselves like SeriousSiriusFan for Snape's rhyming diatribe at Dumbledore, Sirius and Hermione; and LittleMissPadfoot for that Row your Boat rhyme. The rest I either came up with all on my own or just massacred Nursery rhymes and Shakespeare.

Night-Owl123 - unfortunately the faculty does not feel the same way. L

rhea8 - Now that I've finally managed.. I'm not doing that again L Sirius will prove himself strangle worthy on this one snicker Actually that spell was intentionally placed there to blend the serious portion with the pranks. Just thought it'll make a good opening for the flashback scene. You know you're probably the only one who figured that out L Yes it's Seidon.

LittleMissPadfoot - This one's for Non-SPAWN pranks on prefects and Slytherins ... crazy boys ...

Fire'N'Ice - Pretty scary if you can indeed do all that ... I'd probably get sued by all your victims L good thing I'm using a pen name lol

Lady FoxFire - Actually I didn't lol I must have been rhyming unconciously ...

SeriousSiriusFan- Have you read HBP? Really makes you want to bash him even more lol and Ron/Hermione is now a real canon pairing. No chance of that happening I have no sibling and no one knows my passwords Ralph Fiennes is too cute to play Voldie! Oh well... there's always make-up ... so he'll pull it - He's such a great actor as well ... He played that Sadistic General at Schindler's List I didn't like the last one either since she killed Padfoot ... I guess this one is better because I sort of expected she'll kill (the guy she killed) -- at least he's one of the ones I'd expected to die... Although I like that character too.

Raliena - Thanks will do! Although I doubt anyone will read this at the moment with HBP out and all

Kyra2 - Basically that's it for the Thestrals, but for the Hinoemas, Kelpies and Dark Unicorn... they did indeed kill/harm people. Although all started out as peaceful creatures. Aris just has a way of bringing out the worst in them.

siriuslyobsessed - Thanks. I've updated and glad you enjoyed the pranks.