Chapter 8
Thank you all for forgiving me! I really am sorry! if you haven't noticed, I updated 2 times in 2 days! I'm keeping my promise! Thanks for all your awesome reviews (that I sort of forced you to write). Thank you! And now, here is the update I promised!
Disclaimer: This is getting seriously tedious! I do not own twilight! Get it through your thick skulls!
Edward's Pov
I bust out of the forest just in time to see Tanya being forced to the ground by the wolf form of Jacob Black. Tanya was very strong, she could take care of herself; Bella couldn't. My head whipped around, searching for her. I found her. She was exactly as Alice's vision had shown. I ran to her side. Then her sent hit me. I wondered why it hadn't been sooner; her blood was everywhere. My throat burned and I could feel my eyes blacken. My mind fought with my nature as my body staggered away from her. After a few moments I gathered enough strength to walk over to her. I pulled her off of the broad glass blade as quickly, but as carefully, as possible. She was still conscious, and to my horror, she didn't seem to notice the removal of the bloody glass. Her eyes were severely dilated and her skin Not colder than usual. Cold. Cold, to me.
"No." I said softly. "Bella?" my voice turned pleading. I knew I was too late. "Can you hear me?" I asked her, desperate for some sign of life in her. I listened. All I heard was a deathly slow, fluttering, faint, heartbeat. I panicked and bent down to bite her.
"It's too late." A familiar voice said quietly from behind me. I vaguely recognized it as Carlisle's. I didn't understand him. I was blank. I couldn't think. It took several minutes for me to link his words together.
No. I couldn't be…too late. But I was. Bella was gone. And so I began to sob. Dry, tearless sobs. I couldn't even shed a tear for her.
Then it really hit me.
Bella. Was. Gone. Thousands of knives stabbed at my brain, bringing unbearable physical pain. Even still, the emotional turmoil that accompanied it made the knives seem like medication.
I was truly lost.
My heart had not vanished. I had been burned, torn, and drowned. Now I had dust. I could feel my will crumble inside of me, and the very essence of my being, was replaced with pain in every form. It was so much worse than my transformation.
I heard an agonized scream come from some one off to my left. But I couldn't bring myself to care. The source of the scream gasped for air and whimpered in pain.
"EDWARD...LEAVE!" the tortured voice screamed at me. Oh. The voice was Jasper….feeling my emotions. No. Jasper couldn't be feeling what I was feeling. He didn't have the capacity to feel everything. He was only getting a taste of what I felt.
Nevertheless, I got to my feet and left. No one deserved my pain. So I went to the one place that could even come close to describing it. My Piano. I sat there for hours pouring my guilt, loss, pain, anger, and love into the piece. Bella.
I vaguely noticed I was being watched. No doubt to maker sure I didn't go to Italy. Normally, I hated being watched as I was writing. I didn't know who it was; I couldn't hear their thoughts. But that didn't mean anything to me. Nothing Mattered to me. Except Bella, who was gone.
Two days later, I finished. Six sheets of the most mournful, aggressive, apathetic, loving, complicated music I could possibly write lay before me. I looked up to see who had been watching me these past two days. Esme and Alice. Of course.
"I can't hear your thoughts anymore." I don't know why I told them, just thought they ought to know.
They looked surprised. Not at what I told them, but at my voice. It was gruff, tortured.
"We know." Esme said, "Alice saw." I looked at Alice.
"Is your hell music finally over?" Alice asked.
"All of my music has died." I told her.
"It must be. Because that wasn't music. It was horrible. It made me feel the most horrible things. Think the most horrible thoughts. But it was still beautiful." I was silent.
"Edward?" she asked cautiously. I couldn't respond.
"I don't think we ever really understood what she meant to you….that look of Jasper's face when she… and then what he told me… and now this music… It gave me chills. You have successfully written the beautiful song of forsaken hell." I was quiet.
"Can you hear me?" she asked tenderly.
"No."
"Please Edward…don't." She sounded desperate.
"Don't what?" I managed to ask.
"Kill yourself. I can see you are going to go to Italy." She said softly.
"Am I?"
"That's what I saw. Are you?"
"I would like to. Hell, I would love to. I don't have a life anymore, Alice. How can you expect me to pretend with this sad excuse for one? How can you ask that of me?" I demanded.
"I can't." she murmured, "But Bella did."
She did. How could Bella wish this upon me? Her name alone brought sickening waves of misery on top of me. No, she couldn't want this kind of pathetic existence for me, could she? I would give anything to her. No matter what it cost me. Even now that she was gone, I would honor her wishes….for now.
"I won't go. Not soon, anyway."
"Oh Edward…" she sighed, stepping forward to hug me. I couldn't feel her. I was literally numb. I ripped myself away from her. and made my way over to my room.
K. there is chapter 8. I will only say one thing about this story…It has a happy ending. That's it! No more info today! I'll update 2morrow if I can. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I'll update sooner! Luv ya!
---Murmmer.
