Lily awoke the following morning with the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Today was the day of her parent's funeral, the day in which the truth must sink in, and a day, which Lily was petrified to face alone. Her mind was constantly asking why she didn't ask James to come with her, why didn't she try and seek the comfort that she felt in his arms.
Heaving a sigh and slowly getting up from her bed, Lily headed straight for the shower, without even realising where her feet were taking her. Her whole body seemed to be on autopilot; Lily's mind was blank blocking out the world around her. Getting undressed and stepping into the shower Lily let the hot water flow over her head and wash away some of the sorrow she was feeling, if there was not going to be any rain then shower water would have to do lily thought to her self. Thirty minutes later Lily got out from the shower and went back to her room and saw for the first time that day the black dress that was hanging from her wardrobe. The dress by all accounts was lovely, it was a dress, which had thin shoulder straps that could be taken off if she wanted to, and the dress once Lily had mounted the courage to put it on came down to just past her knees. Looking into the mirror Lily took a piece of black ribbon that was laying on the desk and tied up her hair into a pony tail, and then finding a pair of black kittened heeled shoes which flower details going across the front in the leather to put on her feet. Lily stood looking in the mirror when there was a knock on her bedroom door, which at that moment in time seemed a million miles away.
"Lily honey, you look lovely. Petunia and Vernon are already down stairs, come down and say hello." Pat looked at Lily knowing that talking to Petunia and Vernon was the last thing that she wanted to do, but as Lily looked at the pleading look on her Nan's face Lily turned away from the mirror and walked over to the door and followed Pat silently down the stairs and into the little sitting room.
"Morning Petunia. Morning Vernon." Lily said quietly speaking for the first time that day, her voice still seemed so far away.
"Morning." Petunia replied stiffly, Lily could tell that Petunia didn't want to speak to her and more evidently that there was something that she wanted to say but seemed to be holding it back.
"How about I make us some tea." Pat said this looking at the room, which was full of tension and walked out into the kitchen. Petunia took this as her chance to say what she had burning inside of her.
"Listen Freak I want nothing to do with you after today. Nothing! It's your fault mum and dad are dead. It was only because of them that I put up with your freakiness!" Petunia was saying this in a sharp whisper afraid that Pat would be listening in from the doorway. Lily made no reply but just stood there staring at a photo of Petunia, Rose, Sam and herself when she was five, and they were all running around with water pistols in the back garden on a hot summers day. In her heart Lily knew that this moment would come, it was no secret that they didn't get along with one and another, but she couldn't believe that Petunia had said this on the day of the funeral. The only words that Lily could get out was "ok" before she took a seat furthest away from the other two occupants, just as Pat came in carrying a tray of tea and biscuits, which everyone drank in silence.
An hour later and there was a knock at the door, and everyone sat up and looked out of the window in the sitting room, which faced the road at the font of the house. Parked outside the house were two black hearses with the coffins and behind a black limousine. Slowly everyone got up and walked over to the vase on the dinner table and picked up the flowers for the funeral and then walked out of the house and took their seats in the limousine.
Lily was staring out of the window of the black limousine that was following the two hearses carrying her mums and dad's coffins. To stare out of the window meant that she couldn't see the truth of what was really happening, the truth Lily thought could come later, later when everyone had gone, and when she could sit down and morn without everyone's eyes of pity upon her. As Lily started out of the window she could see people that her parents knew standing around and flashing looks of pity when they saw Lily looking out of the window, but after ignoring the looks of everyone Lily noticed someone standing where the limousine stopped and looked straight into their eyes with a look of relief mixed with thanks. None other then James Potter was waiting there for her, and this alone took a little of the dread she was housing away, knowing that she now wouldn't be facing it alone with only her Nan. As soon as the door was opened Lily jumped out and walked straight over to James who instantly pulled her into a hug.
"I'm here for you Lily as long as you need me." James whispered into Lily's ear and kissed her on her forehead before Lily pulled out of the hug and took James's hand instead, as they followed the coffins and took a seat on the first row of chairs. On top of the coffins were now pictures of Lily's mum and another of her dad on the respectable coffins, smiling and looking at the people in front of them. Lily hated this and as the vicar began to speak all Lily could think about was going up to the coffins and turning the pictures face down, it was as though they were taunting Lily being happy, and not sad. By all rights the pictures should have been sad ones.
When Petunia went up to the front of the congregation to say a few words about their parents Lily could hardly hear what she was saying, her mind was becoming blank again, Lily knew that she would soon have to go up there and read a poem, before she knew it James gave her hand a tight squeeze signalling that it was Lily's turn to go up and say something. Lily turned to look at James with obvious fright and worry on her face but James gave her a reassuring smile, so Lily got slowly up reluctantly giving James back his hand and walked up to the spot Petunia had been standing moments ago.
"THERE'S no use in weeping,
Though
we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping
A
remembrance in one's heart:
There's such a thing as dwelling
On the thought ourselves have nurs'd,
And with scorn and
courage telling
The world to do its worst.
We'll not let
its follies grieve us,
We'll just take them as they come;
And
then every day will leave us
A merry laugh for home.
When
we've left each friend and brother,
When we're parted wide and
far,
We will think of one another,
As even better than we
are.
Every glorious sight above us,
Every pleasant sight
beneath,
We'll connect with those that love us,
Whom we truly
love till death !
In the evening, when we're sitting
By
the fire perchance alone,
Then shall heart with warm heart
meeting,
Give responsive tone for tone.
We can burst the
bonds which chain us,
Which cold human hands have wrought,
And
where none shall dare restrain us
We can meet again, in thought.
So there's no use in weeping,
Bear a cheerful spirit
still;
Never doubt that Fate is keeping
Future good for
present ill! "
Lily had read the poem without looking up from the piece of paper, but as Lily said each word she could barely hear the words coming out of her own mouth. Once she had finished reading Lily quickly retreated back to her seat next to James who held onto Lily's hand once more. The rest of the serviced passed once again in a blur, with Lily once again looking up at the two smiling photos. Lily noticed the vicar going back up and saying a few words, and knew that everyone had got up to sing a hymn, and before long it was time to take the flowers which Lily had forgotten she was still holding and place them on top of the two coffins. So slowly walking up Lily placed a red rose on her mums coffin and a bright yellow sunflower on her dad's, before returning back to her seat once more. Lily knew that now after the vicar had finished speaking the coffins would be taken away and this was the bit she was dreading the most. Out the corner of her eye Lily could see her Nan crying into the shoulder of a family friend, but Lily had yet to shed a tear, not one. But as soon as the coffins were taken away and the reality that her parents were defiantly not going to jump out of the coffins and say it was all a bad joke, Lily began to cry. Tears were now freely falling from her eyes and James instantly took Lily into a full hug and let her cry everything she had been holding in through out the service.
Once Lily walked out of the church now holding James's hand Lily could see the door of the limousine being opened for them to enter, without letting go of James's hand Lily walked over and pulled James into the seat next to her, Pat sat just behind them and at the very back was Petunia and Vernon. Once everyone was seated, the car started moving Lily placed her head on James's shoulder as he put a comforting arm around her, and all too soon they had reached where the wake was being held at the local village pub.
Inside the pub there were lots of little tables which seated four to six people and wooden chairs which had red velvet cushions to sit on, in the far corner was the bar where a young woman wearing black trousers and a white shirt was serving beer to a man who had his elbow perched on the edge of the bar. All the round people were starting to sit down with drinks and talking away to other people in the room, as though the funeral had never happened. Lily managed to find a table in a corner of the pub behind a large plant to sit, while James went off to buy Lily and him a glass of coke from the bar. Lily didn't want to be seen, and was not in the mood to talk to everyone around her, they all seemed to be having happy conversations about work and what they had been up to lately, and that was the last thing that Lily could think of talking about at that moment in time.
"Here you go Lils. One diet coke with a slice of lemon, it's not butter beer but it will have to do." James sat down opposite Lily smiling at her.
"Thanks James, I'm glad you came today, I really needed it." Lily said this now looking at the slice of lemon that was moving around in the glass.
"Yes, well it wasn't like I had anything else on today so I though why not!" James was now laughing at the shocked look on Lily's face. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyebrows had risen as far up her forehead as possible.
"Oh thanks and there was me thinking that you were being all nice and caring ha." Lily was trying not to let the edges of her mouth twist up into a smile but one look at James and Lily was smiling, and it felt so nice, just to smile and forget everything that had happened throughout the day. To be having conversations like everyone else in the room. But the smile on Lily's face disappeared just as quick as it appeared when people sitting on the table next to them, hidden by the large plant started talking loudly.
"She was a lovely lady was Rose, always a pleasure to work with, nothing was too much for her you know." A man was standing next to the edge of the table and saying to the four people who were sitting around the table.
"I know what you mean, always had a smile on her face, but her youngest daughter is a spitting image of her." A woman was now telling the table at large.
James now looked at the pained look on Lily's face, the talk of her mum was obviously something that she wasn't ready for, so without speaking James got up from his seat and grabbed Lily's hand and making her follow him out of the pub and back into the cool breeze of the afternoon.
"You looked like you could do with getting out of there, and to be honest I don't blame you on such a glorious day." James was now running before jumping up into the air with his legs going to the sit of him and hitting his ankles at the same time.
"James you idiot come back here." Lily smiles running down the road to catch him up, this was proving to be difficult in her kitten heeled shoes, which every now and then her food would slip out of.
"I resent that! I'm not an idiot!"
"How about dim-witted instead?" Lily asked this innocently looking up at James. Who was trying to look offended by it was proving difficult with the edges of his mouth twitching up into a smile.
"Can I escort you to the bench yaunder over by thy pond?" James bowed down and held out his arm for Lily to take.
"You may kind sir."
Sitting on the wooden bench that over looked a little duck pond which had an island in the middle, where a house had been build for the ducks to go at night. At the moment there were 6 small ducks swimming around in the water and occasionally looking over at Lily and James, as to check if they were going to start throwing in old bits of bread for them to eat. Lily and James were both just sitting there watching the ducks on the lake, until two children and their parents walked over the lake near where Lily and James were sitting and started throwing in bread to the ducks.
"Look mummy there's lots of em today." Said the little girl looking over at the ducks.
"How many's a lot?"
"Umm one…two…three…four…five…six…SIX." The little girl shouted after she had finished counting them all up.
"That's my girl!"
Lily was looking at the family which had just come near them with a sad smile on her face, James had turned his head to look at Lily and put an arm around her shoulders, before Lily put her head comfortably on James's shoulder still looking at the family, until the children had finished feeding the ducks and walked away talking happily about what they had just been doing.
"My mum, dad, petunia and I used to come and feed the ducks when I was little, we used to stand on the bank throwing bread to the ducks, counting them together and running around the pond trying to see if we missed feeding any of them." Lily was still facing the pond while she was talking in a soft voice. "I remember once we came in the spring time to see the baby ducks and to feed them, as we were doing our lap around the lake my dad decided he would join us. He slipped on a bit of mud, and went flying into the water. I remember my mum rushing over thinking that it was Petunia or I that had fallen in, but when she saw it was my dad getting out of the pond soaking wet she hit him on the arm for scaring her so much." Lily was now smiling with the memory's of coming to the pond with her family was coming back to her. James was sitting there listening and thinking on how similar something like that had happened to Sirius once.
"It's funny isn't it, I mean who would have thought that eleven years later Petunia and I would hate each other's guts and my parents gone." Lily had a small tear running down her cheek.
"Lils, it's not your fault that your sister will not accept your wonderful talents and skills, you're the smartest person in Hogwarts behind me of course. I can't ever bring your parents back but if I could I would, I'd do anything to take away the hurt which you're feeling." James said this looking out now as the ducks started heading towards their house as the early evening sun started shining.
"Thank you James." Lily smiled up looking at James's face "It's all I seem to be saying at the moment isn't?"
"Anytime Lils Anytime…Come on how about some chips you haven't eaten all day and I'm not going to let you start wasting away…besides I haven't eaten for like five hours." James started getting up from the bench and waited for Lily to get up from the bench to join him.
"How have you been managing not eating on the hour every hour. I know you sneak down to the kitchen's at Hogwarts to steel food, how did you ever find out where the kitchens were?"
"Ahhhh a maunderous secret I'm afraid dear Lilian." James looked over and winked at Lily before walking into the chip shop.
"Hello there what can I do you for?" The man asked behind the counter.
"Two portions of chips open please and two cokes." James asked the man stuffing his hand in his pocket to take out some money, out of the corner of his eye James could see Lily pulling out some money from a purse that he didn't even realise that had been on her shoulder as it was so small.
"Put that away Lily its on me."
"But…"
"No but's put it away." Lily did as she was told and put the money, which she had been taking out of her purse back in it again before closing it with a click.
"Here you go young man."
"Cheers" James told the man behind the counter as he handed over a bag of chips to Lily and walked out of the door carrying the drinks and his own bag of chips, and followed Lily who was walking back over to the bench by the pond. The ducks had all disappeared from the pond and instead the sun was being reflecting an orange glow onto the water.
"How comes the ducks go away when I have food to feed them?" James asked looking all over the pond hoping to find at least one that he could feed. "It's something I have never done before."
"We'll come back another day then you can feed the ducks." Lily said this although she was speaking to a five year old and patting James on his arm, James just looked at Lily with a wide smile.
Once they had finished eating Lily got up from the bench and turned round to look at James who was a little puzzled as to why Lily had stood up.
"My Nan's going to need my support tonight I don't want her to sit in doors by herself." Lily said this looking down at James.
"Well then I better get you home then." James stood up and the two started walking up the street, Lily's Nan's house was about a mile away from where they were currently walking. But the walk was not a dull one with James running every now and then doing his jump and grabbing his ankle. Lily tried to do this too but found that her shoes went flying into the road, and James ran and retrieved them for her before they carried on walking towards an upcoming steep hill.
"You know I strongly believe that my Nan didn't think this through when she brought her house." Lily said this when she was a quarter of the way up the hill. Her feet were hurting, the backs of her heels hurt from where her shoes had been rubbing and all in all she was exhausted. Today had been a very long day for Lily with her emotions that had been flying all over the place.
"Here, jump up." James had turned round and bent his knees so that Lily could jump up on his back. Lily didn't need asking twice. So taking off her shoes and holding them in her hands Lily jumped up onto James back putting her arms over his shoulders. "Better?"
"Extremely." James just smiled as they talked the rest of the way towards Lily's new home. When they got to the front porch.
"Here you are madam." James said this as he let Lily slide down his back and onto the wooden porch.
"Thanks James, I know I keep saying it but it meant a lot you being there today." Lily hugged James and without having to stand up on her toes lily kissed James on the cheek.
"I was happy to be there Lily. Well have a good night and remember if you want anything at all send me and owl." James said this smiling at Lily who smiled back and opened the front door going inside the house.
James left Lily's house feeling the happiest he had been, not only had he made a strong friendship with Lily now, rather then a shouting match every time he saw her, but for Lily to kiss him was something that made his stomach flutter.
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The poem was called Parting by Charlotte Bronte, hope you enjoyed please review.
Lorna
