It's been a long time but finally an update! I can't thank everyone enough for all the ideas they've submitted. I promise to get round to do each and every single one as soon as possible. This was actually lying half-finished for months on my computer. I'm not that hard-working!
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Occupation four - Gardener
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"Damn pollen, damn, stupid flowers," Kurogane muttered, kicking at the golden heads of random dandelions they had not yet pulled.
"Don't touch it, you'll make it worse," Fai cautioned as the ninja made to rub his sore eyes.
Kurogane blinked, squeezing his eyes open and shut. "I shouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here if I had a choice, if this whole damn country wasn't covered in flowers!" the sullen ninja cursed.
The two of them stood in a garden. At least, they thought it was a garden. A garden with no walls that stretched into eternity. Hedges grew in wild tangles and flowerbeds were spilling over with brightly coloured buds. The grass grew long and wild and spread below them like a blanket of emerald.
Their fool of an employer had given Kurogane a mask to keep away the pollen but that did nothing for his eyes. It did not help that the whole country seemed steeped in an obsession of flower power and growing those stupid, bright, annoying, plants over the entire city.
Fai knelt down besides the watering cans, running his finger along the different colours, trying to decide which colour to use. He hummed as his finger hovered over the cans
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Of course not!" Fai admonished, which, in the language of Fai, meant 'You're damn right, I am.'
Kurogane cast the blond a glare, which the language of Kurogane meant, 'One day, you'll feel this pain,' and since both were well versed in the other's language - courtesy of six months glaring and grinning at each other in Yamano - their respective glares and grins only intensified.
"I'm going to wash my face," the ninja muttered and retired to an old shanty hut erected quite bizarrely amongst a semicircle of naked cupid statues not three feet away from them.
He sighed as he hauled himself up, listening to the wooden stairs creak under his weight. Flinging open the door to the dilapidated hut, he made straight for the brass taps, turning them until crystal water came flooding out. Removing his mask, he cupped the liquid as it spilled over his hands and threw it onto his face.
"No wonder I feel like crap," he muttered, groping blindly for a towel.
His hands itched to rub his eyes again but he refrained from doing so, knowing that it would only make them worse. He blinked several times, hoping to worm the pollen from his eyes. Damn flowers. He never knew that he could get hay fever this badly. He never even knew that he suffered from hay fever. His hands went to his eyes.
As he returned, he noticed the sound of water had stopped. In its place was a light snipping sound, short and snappy, originating from the flowerbeds where Fai was crouching.
"What are you doing?"
"Cutting back the flower beds," he replied. "You have to snip the buds sometimes in order for the whole bush to thrive."
Kurogane surveyed the plants growing in tangles one above the other. Their leaves strangled the opposing plant, fighting for as much water, soil and sun as possible. Most were still green with bright buds closed like little scallop shells around the stalk.
"These buds haven't even opened yet," he muttered, not that he cared what actually happened to the things.
"Well, you have to get them young!" Fai cheerfully piped. "Don't make that face, it may hurt now but it's better for them in the long run."
The ninja sighed and shrugged and raised his fist, bringing it down on the magicians blond head.
Fai jumped and dropped his pair of cutters. He made a curious sound - something akin to a half-yelp, half-strangled meow. Kurogane made note to remember that sound for future reference; it could become his next weapon of offence.
"It may hurt now but it's better for you in the long run. Maybe now your brain will get enough oxygen," he muttered.
Fai stood, rubbing his tender head. "Well, I assure you that all my teasing and name-calling will definitely be beneficial for your future," he pulled a face at him and the ninja glared back.
Kurogane grabbed one of the watering cans, sloshing its contents over the bed. Fai jumped and tried to grab the can away, crying. "You're gonna waterlog the flowers!" as if he really cared for the plants he was cutting back just moments ago.
"Like I care about the damn flowers!" he clicked his tongue in annoyance, holding the can high above his head, much too high for someone of Fai's height to reach without jumping. For what they had done to his nose, they could all wither and die.
Fai pulled back, realising that jumping for the can was getting him nowhere. Kurogane grinned, having finally forced the magician to back down.
Until Fai grabbed another can and threw its contents all over him.
He winced as cold water hit his face with such force that it caused his skin to slightly sting. He dropped the can he was holding and glared down at the guilty blond. Fai stared back at him with a blinding grin.
Then all hell broke loose.
Kurogane was just able to grab Fai's watering can from his grip before the insane magician went speeding off into the distance crying, "Wah! Mad dog on the loose!" and inciting him to give further chase.
He hounded the blond in and out the oddly shaped hedges and through the long grass, running through and open field full of flowers. It would be the perfect movie cliché if only Fai were not running away from Kurogane, and if only the ninja was not brandishing a brightly coloured water can, yelling all sorts of obscenities in the magician's direction.
Fai was sprightly, exploding in short bursts of speed every now and then, but the ninja behind him ran at a constant speed and was slowly catching up to his prey. In one, daring leap, Kurogane grappled the man by his waist and brought him down. Fai fell with a small "oomph" and rolled over. He tried to pin the lithe man wriggling beneath him but the man's limbs seemed to be everywhere and before he knew it he was wrestling on his side then lying perfectly still on his back.
Fai was sitting on top of him, grinning triumphantly and Kurogane could only wonder how the man managed to wriggle his way on top without much effort.
However, all thoughts of a further wrestling match were suddenly halted by the sudden intrusion of his personal space. If the damn magician sitting on top of him was not already an infringement of his space, then the sudden lowering of his face certainly was.
Fai never stopped grinning as he placed his hands on either side of Kurogane's head, bringing his face closer and closer. "You smell like flowers," he whispered, their noses almost touching.
Kurogane considered whether he should be insulted. He was a hardened, well-trained ninja. He did not need to be walking around smelling of flowers!
Yet Fai's nose was almost touching his and he could feel the magician's breath tickling his skin and decided he would let this insult slide for now. Fai's whole body was leaning into him when suddenly, the mage jerked back.
Kurogane blinked and propped himself onto his elbows. He was about to ask what was wrong when he heard a small "ah-choo!" and for once it was not from him. It was too light and prissy to be his sneeze. He stared at Fai.
"Oh sorry," the magician sniffed, rubbing his nose.
Then he sneezed again.
And again.
And once more.
Kurogane pulled his mask down, allowing the mage to bask in his victorious, albeit lop-sided, grin. He loved flowers, he really did.
XX
Wow, one of my shortest chapters ever! The next installment will be...I'm not sure.
