Inspired by the nursery rhyme Pease pudding. Somehow, the words 'Pease pudding hot' have changed over time to 'Some like it hot.' I'm not very good at make-out scenes, but I will learn through reading many smut fics. I'll do my best!

XX

Baker

Kurogane grunted as he scrubbed down the side of an oversized spoon. The wet cloth in his hand was stained with chocolate and cream, making his hand sticky and uncomfortable. He grunted and scrubbed. Who knew chocolate could be so hard to shift?

He glanced at Fai, who was leaning over the side of an enormous pot doing similar work. The stupid wizard was sweeping chocolate from the rim with a finger, licking at it with all the delight of a child.

"I don't see how you can be so cheerful," he grumbled, hoping that a long string of cursing would somehow help to lift the stains.

"Who could be miserable in a place like this?" Fai smiled. He had been so delighted when he discovered this job and naturally, Kurogane had been dragged along for the long, sugary, brain-
damaging ride.

"When I agreed to this stupid job, I never thought I would have to do this," he continued to grumble and complain.

The sign had asked for bakers. Bakers, not cleaners! However, the policy of the company was 'Whatever you use to cook, you clean,' and it just so happened, which was why they were staying on into the late hours of the night to clean the mother of all pots - the chocolate pot.

The thing was so large that metal rungs had been erected in the side of the pot for someone to scale down its side. It was certainly too big for any normal man to get out off without some help. From where he stood, he could barely make out the bottom. A platform had been built around the rim, standing on metal scaffolding where large metal spoons, powered by equally large robotic arms, were built to stir its contents

"It's fine, isn't it? We get to sample lots of delicious food!" Fai said, flipping over the edge onto the rungs.

"You mean all that ridiculously sweet stuff?"

Sweet things just did not sit well with him.

Cakes covered in an inch of icing, bread filled with jam or chocolate, muffins and tarts sprinkled with rainbow sugar, cream eclairs, iced cupcakes and triple chocolate donuts; the bakery made everything and anything that could make your teeth fall out after a single bite.

"It's not my fault that you don't have a single sweet tooth," Fai's voice echoed from the fifth rung.

"You have too many!" he snapped.

"We even out," the wizard countered and climbed further down. The rungs creaked and moaned as he descended, grumbling their age.

Kurogane only glanced over the rim at Fai out of simple curiosity and boredom. The rungs creaked and groaned in protest and he wanted to shout at the wizard to stop putting so much weight on them when he remembered, courtesy of several 'night-time experiments', that Fai did not weigh much for a man his size.

Throwing down his cloth, he approached the rim to watch Fai dangling from a limp rung, wiping chocolate from the metal side.

A limp rung. A rung that was about to break. A rung that was breaking!

"Hey, watch out - " he shouted. He made a wild lunge for Fai's hand, thought he felt their fingertips brush and was almost relieved. Then that instant was gone and it was clear that something was painfully wrong. In a second, he stared at Fai's eyes widening as he plummeted into darkness.

He thought that he heard an echo of a thud but perhaps that was only his imagination. His eyes strained but he was unable to make out anything at the bottom. There was no sign of any blond haired, blue eyed, slightly abnormal wizard. There was nothing but murky darkness.

"Hey! Can you hear me down there? Hey!" he yelled and heard his own voice echo back at him.

Biting back a curse, he stepped down the first rung and slid the rest of his way down the side of the smooth pot.

Fai was lying, face down, in the centre. Several more rungs were broken, suggesting that the wizard had managed to grab onto them before they too gave way and he resumed his plunge downwards. Puddles of leftover chocolate were splattered here and there like pools of mud. Fai's shirt was saturated in the heavy, brown sauce and his legs were drenched.

Kurogane skidded across the slippery base. He could see it now. At the coroner's, a man in a tight, stiff suit would look at Fai's pale body and wonder whether to note the case as death from a fall or death from chocolate. The gravestone would be flat and there would be some weeping widow in black crying, 'If only they had never invented giant pots!'

He reached Fai's body and shook him. "Hey, wake up, idiot! C'mon, wake up! Fai!" he yelled, allowing himself to address the man by name for the one-time emergency. There would be no weeping widow if he could help it, not that he knew of any widows.

Fai groaned and his eyes fluttered open. "Ouch, stop yelling," he made a futile swing at him then moved his hands to nurse his sore head.

"Are you okay?" Kurogane shifted away, secretly glad that Sakura would not have to go through a thirty minute marriage, followed by a short but crippling divorce, in order to obtain the customary widow in black.

Fai sat up slowly. "A little dazed," he admitted but smiled as if to reassure him that nothing was broken.

Kurogane sighed, allowing his shoulder to slump. He turned his gaze to the broken rungs. "Great, now how are we supposed to get out?" The bottom rungs were broken and the nearest rung intact was too high for them, even if Fai stood on his shoulders for it.

Fai grinned, undaunted by the fact that now they were both trapped in a giant pot. "Kuro-chin was so worried about me that he didn't stop to think!"

"I just - " he could not even protest. It was not that he was lost for words, he was never lost for words it was just that Fai's fingers were curled around his hand and the blond's tongue was gently licking chocolate sauce from his fingers. It was quite distracting.

Fai began to advance, working his way up his arm. Kurogane tried not to stare but it was hard to ignore a chocolate-covered Fai licking chocolate sauce off of his arm. The wizard cast him a coy glance though half-closed eyes and his thoughts were sent spiralling down the gutter.

He never liked chocolate. He hated all things sweet. It was just his luck that, the day Fai sat drenched in an edible sauce, it had to be chocolate.

He supposed that it would not be nearly as fitting if it were Fai dripping in soy sauce or sitting naked in an oversized bowl of Yakisoba. Chocolate was more traditional. Fai-yaki just did not carry the same effect as chocolate. It would be weird to have Fai served with a side of sashimi, yet that would be so hot! Even Fai rolled like makizushi seemed tempting. Heck, he would have Fai with inari any day and -

He stopped.

It had happened.

Somehow, without him realising, he had become a sushi pervert.

"It's delicious," Fai moaned.

"Shut up! I don't even like wasabi!"

Fai removed his mouth from around Kurogane's finger "Eh?" he stared and Kurogane suddenly wished that mouth would go back to where it had been.

"N - nothing. I didn't say anything," he turned away before the wizard could get a glimpse of his face.

Fai grinned at him, inching his body closer and closer. "Was Kuro-chi thinking dirty?" he teased.

"No!" Kurogane removed his arm from Fai's chocolate grip.

The wizard smiled as if to say, 'That's too bad' and ran his tongue along Kurogane's neck, right where his jugular throbbed. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer and whispered, "My sweet tooth is aching for a chocolate-covered Kuro-chan."

Some unknown force pushed Kurogane onto his back and it was the same nameless force that somehow ripped his shirt open. He could feel himself sinking slightly into the sticky sauce beneath but at the moment he was currently more concerned with what lay on top.

Fai teasingly traced chocolate patterns onto his chest with a finger. He dribbled chocolate onto his stomach and licked it up before crawling downwards, making his slow, teasing way to the belt-line.

Kurogane heaved himself up and rolled over, forcing Fai to take the bottom. He thought that he saw a slight blush colour his pale cheeks but the blond suddenly started writhing under him, fighting for the top again and those thoughts flew from his mind.

He growled at him to stay still and forced him down with a rough kiss. As his tongue probed the moist cavern of Fai's mouth, even the faint taste of chocolate did not seem as bad as it usually was. Well, it had been in Fai's mouth after all. It was only a shame that they were in a chocolate pot instead of stewing in miso. This time he allowed himself to indulge upon those images. Screw it, they were his fetishes. He was sure that other people had worse turn-ons than he had.

"When we…When we get out of here," he panted, breathless, "let's go for Japanese."

Fai made a distracted sound in his throat. "Hmm? What for, Kuro-tan?" he asked.

Kurogane shook his head. He had never realised just how hot it could get in a giant pot. "I think…" he panted. "I think…that you'd taste good…smothered in soy sauce."

XX

Some like it hot

Some like it cold

Some like it in the pot nine days old

I hope that Kurogane and Fai don't have to wait nine days to be rescued. They'd probably die by then. Currently working on security guard, model, fortune teller, secretary and dentist. I like dentist the most only because it carries on the running gag of Kurogane being a sushi pervert. Anyway, thank you very much for reading.