A/N: Bold type is memories/past events. It's also in the past tense, which should make it easier to follow too.

Apologies if you get confused by the backward-ness of how I've composed this, though it should become clearer soon enough - or possibly if you read a certain part in the last chapter :)

Sorry too for the absolute tiny-ness of this chap.

Also, one slight SPOILER, I suppose, if you haven't read the Gossip Girl Blog entry for Bart & Lily's wedding. I've marked it (+) if it helps ;) It is NOT a season 2 spoiler.


Chapter Two

"We need lies… in order to live."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"If you expect me to be grateful, you're highly misinformed," he told her simply.

She sighed low in her throat, and reflexively jerked at his bandaging a little harder than she had to, "If I expected you to be grateful, Bass, I'd be delusional."

He flinched lightly at the last tug she gave the makeshift bandage and threw a glower in her direction.

"You think by doing this you'll prove you're better than me?" he watched her through thinly veiled eyes.

"I already know that I'm better than you, Bass. Doing this simply makes me soft," she said, sounding far more tired than she should, though she gave him the smallest of smiles.

She reached behind him and fixed the pillow, plumping it before lowering his head with her hand onto the cool, soothing surface.

He slowly closed his eyes.

She started to stand up, but his hand shot out faster than she could have imagined possible from an injured man, and seized her wrist in a death grip. Maybe she had misjudged how wounded he actually was.

"This doesn't change anything, Waldorf," he told her coolly, "Your moment of weakness is going to cost you. As has mine."

"You know what? If I cared about you more, I might hate you," she snapped as she yanked her arm back violently.

Chuck simply watched her almost lazily, still trying to get his shaking under control.

"You'll hate me eventually," he said softly; the words slurred with sleep but no less determined. "Everybody does."

"It's the Bass way," she heard him breathe out; resigned.

And in the darkness, she couldn't help the tears that fell.

X

She comes to when she hears Eric calling her name.

"Are you ok?" he asks her then, watching her carefully.

His eyes catch onto the hand on her wrist, unconsciously rubbing the marred skin; and when she sees this, she quickly looks down, tearing the fingers from their place and clasping them in her lap.

She gives him a reassuring smile, meeting his eyes for the briefest of moments before looking away, saying; "Fine, yes – I'm fine."

"It'll take some time, I know, but he'll be ok," he tells her. "Chuck's strong, and as much as I hate to say it; he has been through this before."+

She nods, because once again he's right. +Only, when Misty died it hadn't been like this. And Blair hadn't been the one he'd self-destructed with; no, that was what the endless supply of alcohol and women were for.

"I'm just worried, you know," she says, turning to look at him.

It's his turn to nod in agreement, as he says resignedly, "Yeah, I am too."

She catches his anxious glance across to the closed doors of Chuck's bedroom, and hears him sigh. She reaches across and clasps his hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze; suffering was in their nature.

X

She exited Chuck's room, closing the door behind her, and leaning back against the cool wood as she released a long breath. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she fell to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest, and letting out a strangled sob.

He was suffering, so badly, she knew. And he was lashing out in the only way he knew how. He couldn't truly be held accountable for his words, or his actions; it was just his way. She could only hope she was strong enough to carry them both through this.


"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."
- Pericles.


TBC…


Hope you liked, and please let me know what you thought – means a lot!
Steph
xxx