A fast update! I don't mind if anyone wants to offer some suggestions, they keep the muses from going cannabalistic. Oh, The Super Happy Fun Fun Journey to Enlightenment was actually a board game I made with some philisophy friends, but it's not as good as the game Kurogane gets to work on.
Game designer
XX
Kurogane tapped his pencil against his desk, completely and utterly bored. Now that they were nearing the end of their work, he found that he had little to do except the usual menial tasks. He was considering leaving early when a familiar face popped over the small walls separating their workspaces.
"Kuro-chan!" Fai smiled with his usual cheer, dangling a thin, shiny disc in front of his face like fish bait. "We've almost fully completed the specifics of the Super Happy Fun Fun Journey to Enlightenment! Wanna test it out?"
"Not particularly."
"Kuro-pi!" he regarded him sternly. "This is an important part of production! Games always have to be beta-tested first!"
Rolling his eyes, Kurogane snagged the disk from his hands. "Fine, I'll go," he sighed, easily giving in to insistence. He did not really care either way, though he had only been involved in character design, he could not confess to knowing what a large portion of the virtual world looked like. He suspected that it would be something like Outo.
"I already input your data so you don't have to worry. I'll meet you in there later," Fai grinned.
"Sure, whatever," he waved a dismissive hand.
As Fai left, he stuck the disc into his station, wiring it up to a small transporter. He had helped make the damn game, how bad could it be?
XX
There was a strange rushing sensation, as if he were being sucked up by a vacuum. It was not like travelling with Mokona at all. As the feeling passed, Kurogane found himself standing in an unfamiliar environment. The trees were full of leaves and the grass long, gently swaying in the wind. A sea of green unfurled before his feet, far from any sign of civilisation.
A young girl stood before him with unnaturally bright, bubblegum pink hair and a blinding smile. Upon spotting him, she bounced forward, twirling around in a bright blue sundress.
"Welcome, player!" she chirped. "Please select you level of difficulty!"
Before him, a large holographic screen blinked into existence, light grey with bright, touch-sensitive yellow writing in spindly letters.
1. The straight path
2. The winding road to Hell!
3. Road? What road?
Ignoring the obscure way of classifying levels, Kurogane took a wild guess and pressed a finger against the last arrow, selecting the third choice. The screen immediately disappeared only to be replaced by the ever-smiling face of his guide.
"Welcome, Player Kuro-pin!"
"Eh?" Kurogane tried not to be surprised hearing the sound of his mangled name.
The guide pointed to the large cursor hovering like a blue halo above his head. The words Username: Kuro-pin stood boldly emblazoned in the air above him.
Yet before he could utter a curse at the sky or, more accurately, to the man single-handedly responsible for this atrocity, a small piece of parchment and a pair of eating utensils were pushed into his arms.
"Player Kuro-pin, please accept this map of the world and a randomly generated beginner's weapon!"
Kurogane lifted his weapon with some doubt.
"Chopsticks?"
The little pink guide nodded happily, crying, "Bon voyage, Player Kuro-pin!" and, with a salute, disappeared in a bright flash of smoke.
With a sigh of reluctance, Kurogane tucked the chopsticks into his belt and checked the map. Maybe he could poke randomly generated monsters to death.
XX
Technically speaking, the virtual world was impressive. It was still being tested but he could hardly tell the difference from this fake world and the real one. The textures felt real, the people looked and sounded real. He could smell food from an open bakery window and feel the wind against his skin.
It was a beautiful world, and quite remarkable to say the least. However, there was one tiny, minute, little detail that he forgot to pry from that stupid wizard for before he had left.
How the hell did you get out?
Just when he was about to give up prying useless NPCs, whose response to his questions about the real world were 'Did you hit your head?' 'Are you on drugs, mister?' and 'Don't look at him, darling!' he heard the welcome voice of someone familiar calling him over.
Turning, he caught sight of Syaoran running towards him.
"You're here too?"
"Fai-san asked me to find you!" the boy panted, trying to catch his breath. Shortly after, another grey box, accompanied by what could only be described as victory music, played a short melody.
[Determined Youth With Fire In His Eyes has joined your party!
"Why is your description so long? Actually, how do we get out of this world?" Priorities were important.
"Ah, I have a guidebook here!" Syaoran hastily searched through a small, leather bag slung over his shoulder.
The guidebook turned out to be a weighty leather-bound tome full of yellowing pages and distracting diagrams. Syaoran opened it at the middle and began flicking through with eagerness.
"According to this, it says that to leave you have to travel to the nearest Portal."
Kurogane shrugged. "Sounds easy enough. Where is the nearest Portal?"
"Not far from here," he pointed east to where, Kurogane assumed, the Portal would be. "But to access a Portal you have to beat the Keeper. The book advises to form a party before trying to take on a Keeper for the first time."
A rebellious grin spread over his face. "Oh, so you have to battle your way out? That's fine by me." Maybe this world had something good going for it after all.
"Err…but Kurogane-san! Kurogane-san!" the boy caught him by the sleeve. He blushed at his sudden impulsiveness and looked down at the chopsticks tucked into Kurogane's belt. "Will you be fighting with those?"
XX
Both took to the main street, glancing into unpromising shop windows in search of suitable weapons. It was all too frustrating. The good weapons were too expensive whilst the ones that fell into their price range were ladles, spatulas, broomsticks and pineapples. They were about to give up when a sudden hand caught the bottom of Syaoran's shirt.
"Syaoran-kun!"
"Sakura-hime!" the boy looked so shocked to see her that he almost fell over himself.
"Syaoran-kun," she ran to him, looking at him pleadingly, "one of the designers at the company asked me to bring them paper but in the supply room and I…tripped and fell into one of the spare transporters."
Kurogane shrugged. "Well, at least we found you. You might as well join our party."
A pause. The three looked around curiously but not a single grey boxed appeared in front of them.
"Why isn't it working?" Sakura looked about worriedly.
On cue, Syaoran flipped open the guidebook. "It says that in cases where a player cannot join your party, you either a) have too many members or b) must fulfil a side quest to obtain them," he read.
"This game was designed to be troublesome, wasn't it?" he muttered. Of course, with people like that demented wizard on the production team, it was bound to produce annoying results.
"Oh! The pendant!" Sakura cried, flinging her hands across her collarbone. "I was wearing a pendant before it suddenly disappeared and reappeared in a pawn shop window," she pointed to an old, dingy shop.
"How can a pendant disappear?" Kurogane looked sceptical at best.
"So we just have to get the pendant back," Syaoran surmised, appearing unnaturally eager. "I guess this is what they call a quest, isn't it?"
These quests were too much of a bother. People did this for fun?
XX
The door above the old pawn shop jangled lightly as they entered. Dusty relics and old, broken furniture stood in heaped piles around the corners. Old paintings and tapestries hung lopsided from dirty peach-coloured walls. In the dimly lit store, an old man peered over the counter at his unexpected guests.
"The pendant? That'll be six hundred pell," he rasped.
"Six hundred!" Kurogane slammed his hand against the dirty counter. "Who the hell do you think you're cheating, old man? We don't have that kind of money!" he glared.
1. Haggle relentlessly
2. Body slam with beef
3. Threaten to Morris dance
"I told you, I won't accept anything less than six hundred pell!" the old man hissed.
"In cases like this, usually there is actually only one option you can take," Syaoran whispered.
"Then why the hell are they giving us a multiple choice?" he growled, feeling unfairly cheated.
1. Continue to haggle relentlessly
2. Body slam with beef
3. Threaten to Morris dance
A loud buzzing sound jarred their ears and a small grey screen popped in front of them
[Error! Dead Cow Item is not currently in you possession
1. Continue to haggle relentlessly
2. Body slam with beef
3. Threaten to Morris dance
"I hate this game!" Kurogane felt his eye twitch as he forced his fingers to select the remaining option.
XX
[Amnesiac Town girl has joined your party!
"That went well," Syaoran looked relieved in spite of Kurogane's exhausted sighs.
"Speak for yourself," he muttered wearily.
"And that nice shopkeeper even gave us extra weapons so that we would leave! How generous!" Sakura clapped.
Kurogane opened his mouth to make some sort of dry - but surprisingly witty - comment when a flying flash of blond collided into him, knocking them both to the ground with an excited cry of; "Kuro-pin!"
"Ack! I knew you'd show up!" he yelled at his attacker as he stumbled to his feet.
Fai dusted off his coat, grinning with excitement. "Leaving already? Well, I guess I'll tag along with you."
Kurogane waved him off. "I think I'll pass."
[Slightly Demented Wizard has forced his way into your party!
"I said that I'd pass!"
Though he protested, the wizard's name was already added to the party. Another box burst in front of them, brown this time, with the entire alphabet along with others numbers and symbols listed in front of them.
Please select name: …FAI… (Default)
Kurogane wiped his hand over the name and re-entered a group of different letters
S…T…U…P…
"Kuro-pin! Don't change my name!" Fai swiped his hand through the holographic box, chasing it away with his name unchanged.
"Why not? You changed mine!" he snapped back.
He was about to draw his chopsticks and try out that 'poke to death' theory when the sound of a bell rang above them with an announcement.
[The path to the Portal has opened up
The sooner they got back the better
XX
Eventually - it was always eventually, Kurogane dryly noted - they found their way into a secluded castle where the Portal and its Keeper supposedly resided. For some reason their journey felt strangely short yet, at the same time, unecessarily long.
The hallways were vastly empty, both cold and draughty, rusted swords clenched tightly in the hands of giant suits of armour. They pressed forwards, into a large, circular chamber brightly lit by torches where the lofty ceiling flattened out far above them.
It was simply an ordinary room. Kurogane turned; ready to walk away, when the ground suddenly began to tremble.
[Announcement: Boss battle about to begin. Please check your equipment
"I am Krah, the Mighty!" a voice resounded across the stony walls. A giant of a man stepped forward, seeming to simply materialise within the room. He looked like something straight out of a children's fantasy book. Even the thunderous, booming voice was everything Kurogane envisioned a giant would sound like. "If you wish to leave this world you must defeat me first!" it cried.
As the echoes of his stomping feet faded away, everyone drew their attention to another, more diminutive sound. The sound of clapping.
"That was impressive, Krah-sama!" Fai walked across the room to stand by the giant's side.
Syaoran stared, perplexed. "F – Fai-san! What are you - "
"You see, Syaoran-kun, the role of Keeper is an important one, so we selected several members to support the NPCs in order to ensure that nothing…messy happens," he explained.
"And why wasn't I informed?" Kurogane looked positively irritated.
"Kuro-chan, you should know that the Character design departments are never told anything!" he cried with a maniacal laugh befitting of his role.
"Fai-san, it can't be!" Sakura gasped.
"Sorry Sakura-chan, it's part of the job" Fai smiled apologetically.
Another grey box popped up.
1. "No, I refuse to fight a treasured friend!"
2. "Fiend! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
3. "I like turkey!"
Slowly approaching him, Kurogane drew his sword at the wizard. "I'm going to enjoy kicking your butt!"
"If you can," he replied challengingly, leaning over to carelessly flick the bright blue letters above Kurogane's head.
"Did you just ding my User name?" he yelled incredulously, sharply stepping back. For some reason, he felt strangely violated.
Ignoring his outrage, Fai flung his arms over him, temporarily preventing him from moving about.
"Krah-sama, please have mercy on this rabid, highly unintelligent mortal!"
"Who the hell are you calling unintelligent? Get off of me!" Kurogane shoved him off, immediately proceeding to chase after him, sword raised, with the sole intent to commit murder most foul.
Fai instantly took flight in the opposite direction, wailing, "Krah-samaaaa!" as he ran around the castle, destruction following him wherever he went.
Stupified, the giant watched as the room slowly disintergrated into ruin. "W – Wait! My castle! You are destroying Krah the Mighty's castle!" he extended a hand in a vain attempt to stop them from making anymore walls crumble and floor crack.
"I told you to stop fondling my User name!"
"But it tickles when I touch it!"
Slamming a giant hand against the far wall, a beam of purple light sprouted forth, casting the room in a lavender haze. "The Portal is open!" Krah roared. "Get out! Get out!"
Grabbing Sakura's hand, Syaoran wasted no time in pulling them both into the Portal, soon followed by Fai who was still being pursued by an angry Kurogane.
As the Portal closed up again, Krah surveyed the destruction of his castle. Though merely a collection of computer codes, he still felt a large wave of relief that they were gone.
XX
Within Kurogane's workspace, the transporter began flashing rapidly. In a sudden spark of light, the four travellers tumbled across the floor, dazed, weary and mostly hoping never to return. However, Fai looked up from the floor with a cheerful grin.
"That was a pretty good game, don't you think?"
