Brief Commentary:
I haven't been able to spend a lot of time on this - really busy weekend (which rather sucks). But I'm seeing how well I do under pressure. ;P At the moment, I'm fangirling over Soul Eater, so forgive my lack of enthusiasm to write this filler chapter. -sigh- I hate these filler chapters so much...ergh. Well, review if it isn't too ugly, ne?

Side Note: Happy Chapter 30 Day...?! XD

Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison


Reasons Not For Your Ears
Chapter Thirty

A looming figure towered over her crumpled form, shadows filtering out his facial features, the designs on his clothes, the color of his skin...but she knew who he was. A silent cry of desperation was all she could release as he reached for something in his pocket, his body language and stature intimidating as well as threatening. Just as a knife-like shape was visible, there was a loud crack of a gun, and he was suddenly lying on top of her, dead. His blood soaked into her skin and formed a puddle around her, dyeing her yellow hair a crimson red.

And all she could do was scream, the sound noiseless as it burned in the back of her throat.

Winry's eyes flew open, body coated with sweat and her mind racing with the few fragments of the nightmare she could still remember properly. Oh god...was this ever going to end? She was sick of this...this sleeplessness, and each terrifying dream worse than the previous one. Still rather exhausted, Winry helplessly slumped against her pillow again, cautiously allowing her eyes to drift closed in hopes that her sleep would be peaceful.

Everything was black and white - everything was inverted. She was alone, floating in black, her body only outlines of white lines contrasting with the empty scenery. Absently, she examined her hands, marveling at the intricate white framing her fingers and her fingernails. She stayed like that for some undetermined amount of time. It could have been second. Minutes. Hours. An eternity.

But the inverted silence was interrupted.

An intense pain suddenly burst to life where her heart should be, and she felt her body jerk back and forth. Her limbs spasmed, her mouth twisting into a grimace and her hair whipping into her face. The pain was still there. And she wished very dearly that she could just fall down from the impact, just lie down and suffer. It would be better than trying to stand, at least...

When she seemed ready to tumble backwards...

Winry woke a second time with a start, her chest heaving and her fingers clutching so tightly at her bed sheets that her knuckles were a snowy white. She let out a moan of utter misery, squeezing her eyes shut and drawing the blankets over her head, as if that would provide some form of escape. But it wouldn't. She knew it wouldn't. The nightmares (even though it was only an hour until noon) would still continue, and she would wake up in time to feel two heart beats of terror, before the fear would decrease again.

Unwilling to drift back to sleep, Winry reluctantly climbed out of bed, smoothing her wrinkled skirt as she did so. Still a bit drowsy and absent-minded, she silently groped for the doorknob before twisting it half-heartedly. Pushing the door open, she stepped into the hallway, glancing down towards the kitchen. Ugh...she really didn't feel like confronting Edward.

She blinked as she began to hear a heated argument between her grandmother and the aforementioned boy. Hardly daring to breathe (as sound seemed to carry easily in her apartment), Winry strained her ears to pick up what exactly it was they were arguing over. To improve her sense of hearing, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, subconsciously curling her hands into fists.

"...what are you trying to pull, punk?"
"...not pulling anything, goddammit..."
"Shut up! You've done...to Winry, haven't you?"
"Why the hell would I-"
"Don't try to argue with me!"

She winced at her grandmother's volume level, eyes opening again in puzzlement. What...they were arguing over her?

"I didn't do anything to her!" The reply was screeched in fury.
"Right, right," Pinako's voice drifted into her ears, dripping with sarcasm. "Then, as I said last night, explain her damn lips!"

Her blue eyes widened as she realized. Was it about the...the... Winry didn't know what to call it. It wasn't a kiss. No. Definitely not. Kisses were meant to be wonderful and shared with some one you loved; not painful and forced from some one you feared. She touched her lips again, face saddening. Why did he do that? He hated her, didn't he?
Backing up slowly against a wall, Winry slumped to the floor, careful to stay quiet. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she hugged them tightly as she continued to listen.

"I don't fucking know! Maybe she fell or something - I wasn't there the whole time, fucking hag!"
"You don't get that kind of bruising from falling down! And she had another bruise around her wrist - again. Explain that, you pathetic little shit!"
"I had to pull her out of the way from the gun-"
His voice halted as he realized his mistake.

Winry felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle in dread. God...now Pinako...now she would know...now she would know how dire the situation really had been. She flinched at her grandmother's tight voice.

"What?"
"From when that...that police guy was firing like a frightened bastard...he...he would've killed us all, so I had...I had to get her and me out of the way," Edward's voice seemed wary as he scrambled for an answer.
"You expect me to believe that?"
"Damn...damn straight!"
"Liar. You all had guns. Didn't you. Didn't you!?"

She flinched at the sudden change in volume, cowering alone in the hallway as her grandmother raged. She squeezed back tears, refusing to let out a single noise. They couldn't know she was listening.

"You almost got my granddaughter killed, you goddamn bastard!!"
"I didn't do anything! I just...I just made sure she was out of his sight, fuck it!"

A pause.

"...why...why the fuck did you bring my granddaughter there in the first place?"
"She went on her own! Like I said, I didn't come until later!"
"Liar!"
"It's the damn truth!"
"Winry would never-"
"That bitch went there on her own! If you don't believe me, ask her!"

Winry froze as a shadow fell over her. Looking up, fearfully, her eyes widened in dread as she recognized Edward's shape, his face shadowed as he pointed an accusatory finger at her. Please don't tell, please don't tell, please don't tell... She begged this of him silently, but of course he could not hear as he opened his mouth to finish.

"Because she's right here!"
"What?"
Her grandmother's figure joined his.
"Winry? What the hell...were you listening?"

A slow, reluctant nod.

"I-I'm sorry-"
"Is it true?" Pinako demanded. "Is it true? Did you go by yourself on purpose? Were you looking to get killed!?"
"N-no! And...and yes...I...I went by myself..." her mouth drifted closed and, ashamed, the yellow-haired teenager buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, but...he's...he's right. I did...I did go."
She tried to swallow the familiar thickness clogging her throat, attempting to keep salty droplets of shame out of view. Why had she been crying so much recently?
"Did you have...a gun?" her grandmother's voice quieted. "Did everyone have a gun?"

Winry nodded again, choking. Her throat felt bruised. She felt bruised herself. And she felt remarkably ugly at that moment. She hadn't wanted her grandmother to know...there were some things she didn't need to know.
Silence took a suffocating hold on the small apartment, each living occupant too wary or frightened to say anything. Several minutes passed, the swirling, conflicting emotions eventually erupting into a loud outburst.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT-"
"I-I'M SORRY-"
"SHUT THE FUCK-"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A RESPONSIBLE PERSON-"
"HER!? RESPONSIBLE!? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND-"
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO CAUSE-"
"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T-"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU-"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS!!"

She clapped a hand over her mouth, looking up fearfully at her grandmother and Edward. They stared, as if shocked into silence, before Edward let out a growl and turned away, walking back into the kitchen/family room. He disappeared from her field of vision, light from the sun illuminating him, until he was swallowed by it. She could still hear his angry footsteps, and the shifting of material as he flopped down onto the couch.

Winry's gaze traveled slowly to her grandmother, who still stood. She suddenly seemed much more tired, much more older. Pinako stepped forward, opening her mouth to say something, then closing again. The two women stared noiselessly at one another, one weary, and one full of trepidation. Winry tensed herself, ready to be harshly scolded and punished, yelled at and restricted from something (although she wasn't sure what that something might be), slapped or deprived of meals.

But as the minutes dragged on, nothing happened. Pinako had still kept silent, eyes tracing over each and every one of her features. Eventually, the elderly woman released a long sigh, before lowering her voice as she spoke. Her tone was unnaturally soft and pained as she asked,

"Winry, what has he done to you?"

"What?" she whispered, eyes blinking in confusion.
"You know what I'm talking about," she shook her head in agitation. "What did that pathetic little shit do to you? You aren't Winry anymore. I don't know what you are."
The young Rockbell woman found that she couldn't reply.
"Would you have charged out to meet a mass murderer with a gun a few months ago? Would you?"
Winry stared at her knees, shame-faced. A gradual shake of the head.
"Would you risk your life a few months ago? Just to...god...I don't know. What else have you been doing that I don't know about? Lots of things?"
No answer.
"Damn it, Winry!" Pinako gritted her teeth. "Then explain the reason your lips are so bruised!"

She stared up at her, too afraid to speak, and her grandmother was shocked by the confusion and utter helplessness she saw there.

"I don't...I don't know what he did...Baa-chan...I just..."

Winry shook her head and stood, glancing apologetically at Pinako before she re-entered her room, closing the door behind herself and locking it.

Click.

Nothing was the same any more.


DONE! YUS! Now I have to get started on my history project. --;; Ew. Next week, maybe? (BTW, the lyrics to the songs I put in the Brief Commentary? Those are recommendations for what you should listen to when reading the chapter...usually.)