Brief Commentary:
AGH SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER?! Ha ha ha, what am I talking about, it's the beginning of June. Heehee, silly me. :) Going to the beach next week, so updates could be either fast or slow...depending on how much time I get with my parents' laptops. I just hope that it rains once or twice. But I'm definitely going to try and update as much as possible, because I would love to try and get this thing at least 3/4 over with - its about 3/5 right now...
Anyhow, review? :D
Chorus romance says goodnight,
close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me,
hurt the first, the last, between
Reasons Not For Your Ears
Chapter Thirty-Five
A few days since the not so subtle announcement of Alphonse and Mei's relationship had passed, with still little to no sign of Paninya. Winry had thought she had seen her a few times, skirting around the halls or running around corners, but it could have simply been her imagination. With little better to do, and reluctant to allow her emotions to flow freely through her, Winry easily kept this off of her mind by burying herself in studying, although, as it was the beginning of the year, there wasn't quite so much to do. Pinako intervened little with her granddaughter's life, only to interrupt her when announcing dinner, or reminding her to go to bed at a proper hour.
The two women had grown used to their terms - they kept out of each others' way, only to step back in to do something helpful, something anyone else would've done without a second thought. They had adapted to the quietness in their small home, which may have once been extremely out of place, but was now accepted and expected regularly. The only loud source of noise that might explode without warning was when Pinako accidentally dropped a plate or pan, explaining to no one in particular that her shaking fingers were getting worse, or her arthritis must've been getting to her again.
Despite the silence they shared, Winry still felt obligated to be concerned about her grandmother, and kept her body on the alert for when she thought she might need some aid - whether it was to bend down to get a frying pan, or reach up into one of the cabnits to retrieve a jar (Pinako's diminutive stature already did little to help with this situation, even when she hadn't had problems like dropping things). Despite her small worries, which she had pressed up in a near by corner of her brain, definitely there but not so easy to notice, Winry realized without really trying to that this was doing nothing to improve their clipped relationship. But she found that even though she should, she really didn't want to mind, she didn't want to care.
This particular morning she woke up as usual; it was a Tuesday, and the week seemed to stretch out far ahead of her when she thought of it. She slipped out of her sweat pants and old t-shirt (it had belonged to her mother, but in its tattered condition it couldn't possibly be worn for any other purpose) and reached for her uniform. It was where it always was, neatly folded on her dresser along with a pair of socks, and once she had pulled the shirt over her head and the skirt around her waist, she felt her fingers fly mechanically to her hair brush, in its usual place by her hand mirror. She drew it through her tangled hair, sweeping it back into a high ponytail as she groped for a hair tie, which she found almost immediately.
Breakfast had become routine as well. By about the time she had finished upstairs, having pulled on her socks and collected her homework from the cramped desk in the corner, tempting smells from the kitchen/living room would begin to waft through the hall. Winry usually knew what she was having by the time she made it there, and this morning her assumption had been correct - homemade waffles smothered in cherry jam and syrup - something she had loved to eat since early childhood. She felt a little embarrassed, but also grateful, that Pinako had seemed to remember.
Winry acknowledged her grandmother with a nod of her head, trying to convey that she appreciated the food, and Pinako seemed to understand, as she nodded back and went to sit on the couch, newspaper in hand. She wished suddenly that it were Edward sitting there, but before she could fully realize the thought, it had flickered away and she found that she had frozen with her fork half-way to her mouth. The not-quite-seventeen year old shook her head and ate, stealing glances at the clock every now and again until it was time for her to leave.
She left quietly, feet guiding her on their own to the small storage shed where her bike was, the kick stand allowing it to lean towards the door on its own. The transition from walking to bicycling came as easy as breathing to Winry, who simply hoisted herself onto the seat, hands automatically reaching for the handle bars, feet on the peddles as she made her way out of the storage shed and onto the street. Easily by-passing a few slow moving cars, Winry inwardly mapped out her route to school, swerving to avoid a fellow bicyclist as she did so. She reached it within minutes.
The day went as predictably as ever, and she kept insisting to herself that she liked it that way. A small part of her, her boxed up, under-used feelings, Winry decided, protested this, but it was relatively simple to shove it away again. Opening her locker and stuffing away her binder and dropping her frequently-chewed pencil carelessly inside, a quick glance at her schedule informed her that her lunch period was next.
She had just pulled out the rumpled paper bag containing her lunch when the unmistakable form of Paninya stalked past her without even a glance. Winry's mouth fell open, and she felt as though she ought to say something like "Hello," or "Where've you been, Pan?" but found this to be simply too difficult. She abandoned that plan of action and allowed herself to follow her friend, feeling her nerves shiver with curiosity. This was bad, Winry considered, if she wanted to keep a strong reign in on her emotions, her caring. But the thought flitted away, and she was left to continue following Paninya.
The dark-skinned woman was making a bee-line straight for Alphonse, who was for once not with Mei. Perhaps the exchange student had left for the restroom or something, she thought, but then she remembered that she wasn't really supposed to care. Alphonse instead was in the company of a few of his other friends, looking at ease and relatively happy. A small part of Winry envied him.
"Al," Paninya said loudly, storming up to him (shoving aside more than a few guys in the process), "I need to talk to you. Now."
"Paninya," he said her name in bewilderment, clearly surprised to see her. "Wow, it's been a while. Where have you been-"
"Yeah, yeah, let's skip the pleasantries; it doesn't matter anyway, now come on," she interrupted him, ignoring the annoyed glares from Alphonse's other friends (Winry failed to recall their names) as she seized his wrist with both hands and began to drag him away.
Winry dutifully followed, murmuring a few apologies as she made her way through the oncoming crowds of people, forgetting the lunch in her hand as she kept her eyes trained on the brilliant color of Alphonse's hair, refusing to lose sight of it. After a minute or so, she found herself only thirty meters or so behind them, outside and away from anyone who might be eating their own lunches outside.
Keeping herself at a safe, curious distance, Winry watched in slight puzzlement as Paninya lead Alphonse into a slightly more secluded area. When they began talking, she couldn't help but edge closer in order to listen in on what they were saying. She had no good reason as to why she was doing this; Winry couldn't very well say that she wasn't interested in what was happening at all, or that she couldn't care less about Paninya or Alphonse.
"-is this all about, Paninya? And after not seeing you for so long-"
"Oh, just shut up, Al," the dark-skinned girl grumbled, shoving Alphonse into a sitting position as she towered above him. "This is important, okay?"
"Um, okay..."
Winry felt some little force inside her shudder in relief that the 'old Paninya' seemed to have returned, if not, as she looked more closely, much thinner than she remembered. Really thin...she seemed almost bony...
Paninya exhaled loudly, and, wiping her hands on the uniform's long skirt (it was getting colder every day), she inhaled again and announced,
"Y'know, Al, I really do love you."
There was a raging silence as Alphonse and Winry took this in. Winry had managed to keep a straight face despite the shock that was struggling to take over; Al was not quite so lucky.
"...um...Pan, I..."
"Yeah, it's really sudden, I know," Paninya shifted her gaze from Alphonse to glare at nothing, one of her hands going to her forehead to brush a few stray hairs out of her eyes. "You probably wish I hadn't said anything. I do, too, but my mom made me because I wasn't eating and she got mad, you know?"
"...Paninya, I'm really sorry...I'm already with Mei-"
"Pfft, duh. Of course I know, that's why I told you," she swallowed, "that I love you. But whatever, huh? Anyway, I'm getting pissed - why the hell am I so nervous? Agh, this sucks. Heh."
Alphonse's face, from what Winry could make out, had contorted into one of confusion and some deep sadness and hurt, but he seemed unable to say anything.
"Yeah, sorry, I'm acting like such a bitch, huh?" Paninya forced a grin, scrunching up her eyes, but the both of them had caught the flickering misery there. "You're probably really confused; hell, I am too. But hey, even thought I'm being so stupid, could we still be friends?"
"Friends? Are you sure?" Alphonse stood, and now it was Paninya's turn to be towered over. Had her body ever been that small and weak-looking? "Would you be able to live with that, Paninya?" His gaze softened, although pain still tore at his facial features.
"..." the dark-skinned woman paused, and glanced away from Alphonse. Her dark brown eyes looked a bit mystified as a small, sad smile found its way onto her lips. After another few moments of silence, she spoke again.
"It's fine. It wasn't really worth it, anyway, huh?"
It was then that Winry decided it would be best to reveal herself, quietly making her way out of her hiding place. Alphonse and Paninya's gazes quickly flickered to her, obviously startled, but they relaxed as soon as they realized who it was.
"Oh, Win, you saw that?" Paninya chuckled, voice a little shaky. She wondered if she imagined the fast swipe her friend made at her eyes. "How embarrassing..."
"Hey..." she waved a few fingers at them. "...sorry..."
"For what?" she shook her head fiercely, as if to clear it. "Come on, everyone needs to come hug their Pan. She's very sad, you know! Even you, Al; you can't escape hugging your Pan!"
She and Alphonse laughed quietly, while Winry allowed a smile. Paninya received a slightly unsteady embrace from the both of them at the same time, and collapsed into sad, gleeful laughter again.
Not much to say...other than I will try to work on the next chapter A.S.A.P. I'm not even kidding this time.
