A/N- another edited chapter. YAY
Chapter Two- Horrible discoveries and revenge plans.
At the break of three in the afternoon, Tayuya wandered into the kitchen blankly and as clueless as ever. Her eyes underlined in black, showing the fact that she was still exhausted despite the fact the she slept through most of the day. She eyes Kidoumaru who was now sitting hin her usual chair, stirring up remains of his cereal. She swerved in next to him, glaring needles.
"What?"
"UP. NOW KIDOMARU."
He etched out of the seat and exchanged with her. Her head pointed up victoriously.
"That's more like it." She chuckled. "So, nice fucking morning, eh Spiderman?"
"Tell me about it." He chuckled evilly, though Tayuya could not understand the hidden meaning in that sinister laugh. It went on for a tad too long for her tastes, and she raised an eyebrow.
"What the hell are you fucking laughing at Kidoumaru?" She growled, letting Kidoumaru know that this was more of a demand then a question; he had to make up a quick excuse.
"N...nothing," He replied nervously. "J...Just a joke I heard the other day..."
"Tell me."
"Uh...um...you might not want to hear it..."
"That wasn't a question."
"Erm" He thought of the first joke he could think of. "Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because he was uh stapled to the chicken!"
There was a long pause.
"Kidoumaru, that's just fucking retarded..."
Bitch...
Kabuto walked into the kitchen casually, and moved over to the pantry immediately. As the door pulled open so came a sandstorm of dust towards the glasses-wearing medic ninja. He stopped and took a moment to clean off his glasses, and looked a bit over to the sitting Tayuya and Kidoumaru. He chuckled instantaneously.
"What the hell is your problem?"
"Just thinking of a joke..."
"What joke?"
He paused, and like Kidoumaru, said the first joke that came to mind. "Um...Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken!"
"Just shut the fuck up, Kabuto..."
She rolled her eyes. Do ALL these morons think a fucking like?
"HEY!" He shouted. "You asked."
He turned back to the pantry, sneaking out a few of Orochimaru's Pringles. He stuffed them into his mouth hastily. He looked down, and gasped. "Ojh my fughdin gohd."
"WHAT?!" Kidoumaru shouted, confused.
Kabuto swallowed. "Oh my god," He kneeled down, and upon grabbing something rose back up, facing everyone with a huge grin.
"HEY GUYS!" He shouted."WE GOT A RAT!"
Tayuya stared, and Kidoumaru mimicked that stare. Behold the great Kabuto, standing before them with a huge clown-like smile, all whilst holding a huge, dead, wet, black sewer rat by its tail. "Cool, huh?"
"Kabuto..." Tayuya started off slow. "Put...that fucking rat in the toilet, and flush it the hell out of my damn misery...before I use my flute...on your ass..."
Kabuto frowned at this. Maybe no one here got the mere joyous feel of dead things like he did. At that moment, Jirobo entered the room, in his hands, the chair in which Lord Orochimaru sat, as usual. Even Jirobo seemed to strain under the great weight of the fat-ass butt-ugly Lord Orochimaru. When he pulled the chair to the floor, the walls shook, and Tayuya had to dodge a rafter that fell from the roof. The place was going to collapse someday. The walls leaked water; they were infested with spiders, rats, and termites. Whatever the mind could think of lived in those god-forsaken walls.
Orochimaru looked over to Tayuya, and like everyone else had that morning, started laughing.
"WHAT NOW?!" She roared, getting sick of this.
"Ah, just a funny joke..." Lord Orochimaru chuckled. "Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken!"
She stared, blankly. THREE TIMES, as of now she had heard that nonsensical piece of shit joke THREE TIMES in one day by a different person each time. These people...just couldn't be human.
"KABUTO, BRING ME MY NEWSPAPER!" Orochimaru shouted, and Kabuto, knowing Orochimaru so well these days, went to the pantry, and gave him a jar of Pringles and the paper at the same time.
The phone rang in the other room. There was a pause, as no one really wanted to get it. Tayuya sighed.
"Fine you lazy bastards I'll get it." She stormed out of the room, lifting up the phone in the main room.
"What?"
"Um...I'm looking for a miss...Tayuya?"
"Fucking speaking."
"Good, good...myesss..."
She stood there silently, and emotionless for a moment as the guy talked on over the phone. However in one instant her face warped into...well...one really pissed Tayuya. "WHAT THE HELL? MAIL-ORDER BRIDE?!" She shouted, hanging the phone up. She focused in her mind on who to blame for this stunt...the poor, poor, dead boy.
"KABUTO YAKUSHI, YOU GRAY-HAIRED PRICK!"
She dashed into the room, pointing at Kabuto angrily with that evil monkey from family guy look. Kimimaru had entered and sat down at the wrong time. Kabuto looked at Tayuya and a look of sheer terror came across his face. She didn't even notice he still had the rat in his hand.
"I sw...Swear...Kidoumaru is the one who put that camera in your room!"
"YOU PUT A CAMERA IN MY ROOM?!" She turned on Kidoumaru.
"IT WAS HIS IDEA! KABUTO LIES!"
"Now why would I do that?" Kabuto grinned.
"OKAY! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT SHIT! KABUTO YOU DID THIS ONE!"
"What'd I do?"
"PUTTING THAT FUCKING AD UP OUT OF SPITE THAT I WOULDN'T DATE YOU! THAT'S WHAT!"
And thus everyone understood perfectly who was just on the phone. And that somewhere in Tayuya's dark little mind, something had said. "Kill Kabuto and leave his mutilated corpse in a ditch." Kabuto however pointed elsewhere. "LORD OROCHIMARU DID THAT! IT WAS HIS IDEA, HE MADE THE CALL!" She turned to the fat, immobile snake man to her side.
"You fat-ass, sonuva.."
"BRRRRRRIIIIIING!" The phone rang again.
She turned. "I'll take care of it."
She stormed out, lifted the phone.
"DON'T CALL AGAIN YOU ASS!" And thus it was slammed back on the hanger.
Ring.
"I do have the mo.."
Hang up.
Ring.
"Will you fucking stop ha.."
Hang up.
Ring.
"WILL YOU STOP FUCKING CALLING BACK YOU PERVERTED BASTARD?!" She screamed into the phone. Loud enough for everyone in the other room to hear, and shudder, they're breakfasts were entirely ruined today. Half from Tayuya's freak-out, the other from the fact that Kabuto outright REFUSED to put the rat down.
There was silence on the other end of the phone; however it seems that perverts don't give up too easily.
"Are you still there?"
"Will you just go the fucking hell away?"
There was a rustling sound over the phone.
"Damned...fucking...speeches. Ah, no."
She rolled her eyes, great. She was on the phone with a guy trying to buy her which sounded like some creepy politician guy. A thought passed her mind. She could see an image of herself dressed up in some sort of short-skirted secretary outfit, filing papers for some creepy old guy. She could also see herself slipping in a nice, fat, bounty on Orochimaru and company. That would maybe be the only good thing. That and the money that Orochimaru would never see, then...it snapped. Without her, the Sound village would be practically half weakened. The only one who ever fought anymore was Kabuto; everyone else had completely let themselves go. Jirobo wasn't allowed to fight anymore, due to the fact that if he died, Orochimaru would be without possibility of movement. Ukon and Sakon didn't get along as well as they used to, cutting their abilities in half. Somewhere along the line, Kidoumaru had a "Traumatizing experience" With this wrestler, and had pledged never to fight again, Etcetera, Etcetera. Her face twisted into an evil grin. She could actually have some fun with this. All she had to do was sell herself off to this guy, collect the fee, make an excuse not to sleep with him, lay low for about...erm...a week, then slip a knife through him, and head home with an "I told you so." It was all too easy.
"Sir?" She lifted up the phone. "It's a deal."
"Alright,"
"Meet me at the sound village entrance in an hour, that's the huge junk heap of a building not too far from the leaf village."
"We'll be there."
She hung up the phone, and let out a vengeful chuckle. She then walked "Peacefully" into the kitchen, dodging a hole in the floor and a spider. This act was taken as the warning that somebody was about to die a horrible death. Kidoumaru gave a farewell salute to Kabuto who shivered, however Tayuya just took her regular seat instead.
"Tayuya, are you...feeling okay?" Kidoumaru asked. She chuckled, looked over to him and said with a smile:
"Why the fuck do you care, Spiderman?"
Phew, that's a good sign.
"Oh, by the damn way..."
Orochimaru glanced up from his thing of Pringles.
"Kabuto go pack my crap. I'm leaving in an hour."
Jirobo spat out the drink he was drinking. "You're actually going through with it?"
"How...odd..." Kimimaru sighed. Not paying much attention.
"Why do I have to pack your stuff?"
"I'm willing to "Forget" that you and Kidoumaru installed that fucking camera in my room if you do."
"DONE!" He rushed out of the room.
-
-Meanwhile-
"Come on Deidara; just let me use the fucking bird! It was MY idea!" Hidan whined.
"If both of us leave do you KNOW how suspicious that looks, un?!"
"I don't give a shit!" Hidan shouted. "Tobi will cover for us!"
"Yeah, I wonder how long that will last, un."
"Just let me fucking come too Deidara!"
"FINE, JUST SHUTUP ALREADY, UN!"
"Thank god."
