A/N- Hi folks im not going to be updating till Xmas so i have to get this up before weds. lol Well, its timefor my never-ending quarrel with Kabuto's character. Imgonna try.

Dissy- I dont own Naruto, tell me, is that so hard to believe that i have to write one of these every chapter?


chapter four- More than one deal or excuse.

Kabuto paused as he reached the front door, knowing what lied waiting for him on the other side. There was only one hope. The old Kabuto had to come back. For you see, no missions, and constant twenty-four hour no-paying Orochimaru slave service, entirely kills a persons will to do anything, and Kabuto had long ago lost any hope of ever having to be sneaky again, exept for when one would need to get a snack while Jirobo was in the vicinity.

Okay...what I need is some sort of flashback...hmm...let's see.

Pause. Even more pause.

"I mean, you've always been after my position, haven't you Yoroi?"

Heh, that'll do.

Good old Yoroi. Everyone kind of felt bad about torturing him over his hideous face after he died of that bout with AIDS...hey, who knew STD's could be carried through chakra? Well...apparantly not Yoroi.

He opened the door, and everyone was already staring at him, wide-eyed, he assumed they must have been thinking, "Please let him have the money so we don't lose the TV."

"Well?!" Orochimaru growled at him from his chair.

Kabuto grinned. "I'm sorry but I don't have the money."

Insert psycho music here. Because that would be playing at the moment as the residents of the sound village's eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

"YOU FORGOT THE MONEY?!" Orochimaru roared Kabuto shook his head. Now time for a nice white lie...

"No, I didn't forget the money."

"...okay, so what happened?" Orochimaru's confusion grew.

"Akatsuki."

"What?"

"Attacked me and took Tayuya, and they're holding her for ransom."

Pause.

Kidomaru chuckled. Wonder how long THATS going to last.

"YOU JUST LET THEM TAKE HER WITHOUT PAYING?!"

"I fought back, but there were five of them, I could only last so long."

Orochimaru shivered, this could be bad, Tayuya would very, very quickly tell them about his attachment to his chair, not as much of for revenge, more of the fact, that she would find it very amusing for her...somewhat savage tastes. Then Akatsuki would show up and kill him. Well, they would probably ust let Itachi handle it. The king of torture himself, Sasuke knew that firsthand. Orochimaru swore he would NEVER let anyone steal his presents, or his EGGNOG!

"That's it, RELOCATION TIME!"

Kidomaru looked over. "What?"

"I mean..." Orochimaru shivered. " Why are we living in this repulsive swamp anyways?"

"Because some idiot couldn't afford anything better, IF you remember..." Sakon growled.

"Nonsense, nonsense, you all knew it was Kimimaro's choice." Orochimaru pronounced. Kimimaro looked over, never remembering that he ever said that. "Well, if Orochimaru-sama says it, I'll stick by it."

They stared, Kimimaro was the only one who was still that loyal to Orochimaru after the second year, after he had told them their paychecks had been cut from a dollar a month to nothing, and also told them if they tried to quit he would make the curse mark kill them. Well, they weren't sure if Orochimaru remembered that anymore or not, but hey, better safe than sorry.

"We know it's not that, lord Orochimaru." Kabuto chuckled. "You're afraid they're going to send Itachi over here, aren't you?"

"NO! Of course not...with my power I could...easily overtake that brat.."

Kabuto gave him a look of doubt, and Orochimaru shivered.

"Besides, Lord Orochimaru," Kabuto decided to add on a bit, mainly due to the fact he just finished hauling fifty pounds of luggage. "They said if we try to run their going to find us and kill you."

"WHY JUST ME?! WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

"They are under the impression that you forced me along."

"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell them the truth?"

There was a pause, that had to be the stupidest question Orochimaru had asked, and Kabuto responded to it as such.

"Are you some sort of idiot? They would have killed me there."

"Jirobo..." Orochimaru sighed. Giving up. "Carry me to the den."

Jirobo nodded and did as told.

Kidomaru laughed. "Hey! Kabuto, can I ask a question?"

"What, Kidomaru?"

"Where the hell have you been in the past three years?"

-

It took a full five minutes for Tayuya's delusions to fade, seeing that the person in front of her wasn't Sasuke. She was now just staring blankly. Hidan would have started explaining at that time, however the shock awoke Deidara, however, it his barely conscious state, caused a light explosion of clay, sending the rest of the clay around him fliying through the air. Splattering over everyone in that room, and adding on further to Itachi's "quiet rage."

Tayuya laid eyes on her clay covered hair, and flipped. "SHITHEADS!" She screamed, pointing madly over to Hidan and Deidara. She then stormed out of the room, screaming that over and over, despite the fact that she didn't even know her way around this place."SHITHEADS!" She screamed again. A shark man-looking thing passed her and looked over, "Who are you?" He asked. she turned.

"Tayuya, um...your roomates bought me."

"What?"

She ignored him and continued on further down the halls, with her constant scream of "SHITHEADS!"

Kisame shrugged. For a second, I thought Deidara made her.

Hidan chuckled lightly. "How bout, you explain, Deidara?" He turned to the also clay covered Deidara, who gave him a mean glance, but sighed realizing what Hidan said might just get Itachi even more angry.

"Weeeeeellll, we were sick of this place so we ordered a mail order bride to be our maid, so we went to pick her up and she and Hidan couldn't stop fighting so I lost focus and almost crashed us and Hidan decided he could do it better and flung me to my face, but didn't know what the hell he was doing so we almost crashed then I got free, then knocked unconscious, so then we went out of control, and ended up crashing through your room, un."

They looked back up at Itachi. "Fix it...now."

"Sorry, Itachi um...but my religion...um...whatever religion it is, paegon or something...prevents me from doing anything that involves the word, work, fix, and or, physical labor."

Itachi glared, Deidara looked at him with a look that explained all. That being, "I'm sure as hell not doing this on my own, un."

Itachi's eyes started to get that red look. And finally, Hidan gave up. "Fine, fine, I'll do it."

"Hmph, good." Itachi muttered simply. "And get the girl to help you."

"Okay, un."

Itachi left them to themselves. "Well, it could be worse." Hidan chuckled lightly. "At least Kakuzu doesn't know how we payed for it."

Deidara groaned.


A/N- This was going to be longer, but my time was short so...sorry. WELL SEE U AFTER BREAK!