A/N WOOT! Late chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA! Welp, merry xmas people.

The package is empty, but the message is clear, play santa again, and I'll KILL YOU NEXT YEAR! MUAHAHAHAHHA!

Disclaimer- For lets see...about 35 times I do not own whatever show and or game this story is based...blah blah blah Naruto is not mine whatever.


Chapter 5- WARNING! Avoid plaster and plywood.

Deidara had to go fetch the somewhat delusional Tayuya to help them, if Hidan had done it, they would have been arguing and left Deidara to do all the work himself. No way would that happen, nuh-uh. If he could make the choice between doing all the work and having breast implants with coca-cola, he would take the implants. Even if he wasn't female, it would take three years to repair the damage on his own.

Hidan groaned as time went on. Realizing that probably right at that moment that partner of his was probably watching superhero cartoons while drinking his last soda from the fridge, all whilst pointing and laughing and saying Superman and Batman were gay. He looked over, seeing Tayuya was just sitting there staring at them.

"Um...What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He growled at her, she yawned.

"What the hell does it look like? Nothing."

She stood up. "In fact, shitheads, I think I'm gonna take a walk."

"Oh, no you're not." He reached out as she started to walk, and he grabbed her by the hair. She pulled forward, and felt as hair was ripped out of her head, very painfully for that manner, it wasn't particularly noticable, but she felt it and that was enough. She swerved to him, her eyes twitched menacingly.

"You did not just..." Tayuya had been through a lot in her time. She had to deal with the constant mental breakdowns of dealing with that hellhole she moved into, she had watched so many soap operas after that period of time when Orochimaru loved them so, She lived with Sasuke's room for a week, she had people try and murder her through weeks on end (and in very ridiculous ways) and she never was able to get 15 percent off her car insurance from geico. But never, never had anyone DARE rip HER hair out! Hidan chuckled, not realizing the terror he had just unleashed.

He closed his eyes and held his chin up high. "Serves you right, biii..." He was cut short when his eyes opened and he barely dodged as a peice of plywood flew past him, and..ironically tore away more at the wall. Deidara glared over.

"...Can you two do anything other than destroy things, un?"

"NO!" They screamed in unison. Deidara sighed and shook his head in disgust, what was the point in trying anymore? No one listened to the sensible one, NOOOOOO of course not.

"You know what, bitch?" Hidan sneered. "Go ahead and leave, do womans work around here then and cook a roast."

She froze.

"Excuse me?"

"A woman belongs in the fucking kitchen anyways!"

"Oh you did not just say that."

"Oh yes I fucking did."

"Hey Deirdre, transvestite, whatever!"

"...Deidara..."

"Whatever, shithead." She replied swiftly, "I know something I can do that doesn't ehheheh...destroy things..."

Deidara sighed. "What?"

"Mop a floor?" Hidan mumbled.

She reached to her back, pulling out her flute. "It's not...destructive at ehehheh all, shitheads."

"Gonna play us a fucking lullaby or some girly ass shit."

She chuckled devilishly, " Thats right..a lullaby..." Her voice quickened, "Ofnoreturn."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing, just a little...tune."

Something about her tone made Deidara and Hidan twitch just a tiny little bit. Especially after she went into that evil laughter thing, that was definitley a little creepy.

She pulled it up to her mouth, but had and I mean...they HAVE to say what they're about to do or SOMETHING. "The fourth soo.:"

Plaster. Hidan tossed it over her swiftly. "HOW DO I KNOW THAT ISNT SOME SORT OF EVIL SONG?!" He shouted like a lunatic. Actually this time Deidara actually agreed with him. She wiped it off her eyes. and her bandana thing. She felt her curse mark burn a bit. Oh how much she wanted to use it, but why waste it on this lowlife...she'd wait until he pulled something more...extreme.She shuddered. If he ever hits on me, drunk or not, He's dead...Hidan met that nasty stare she held.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing...nothing at all...shithead."

"Bitch."

"retard."

"Whore."

"You better believe it."

He stared blankly at that. "What? Um...thats an insult I thought?"

Deidara cracked up. "She's fucking with you retard, un. You really are stupid."

Hidan turned to him. "Did you just say fuck? When do you outright curse?"

"Heh, I'm never in the mood, un." He shrugged, still working, and was actually making progress now. He was still going. Hidan chuckled.

"Maybe you found something you're actually GOOD at, Deidara."

"Hey, my art is exqusite!"

"Does that word you just said mean crap?" Hidan chuckled. "I dont give a shit, my ahem "religion" states that blowing shit up doesn't exactly qualify as "art"."

"WELL SCREW YOU'RE RELIGION HIDAN, UN!"

"HEY!"

"Well, later shitheads...you've obviously got it handled in here...I'll be wherever the living room is."

Hidan swerved, "HEY! Get your ass back here, he jumped down, then paused."You know, Deidara, you're doing fine on your damn own...think I'll just leave this crap to you...yeah..." He slid out the door. Deidara stared, his jaw dropped. "WHAT?!"

Hmph...I hope Itachi sees they bailed on his room...assholes, un.