A/N- chances are this chappie might have a little less Akatsuki and a bit more Sound. XD Starring Kabuto Yakushi..XD I cant prevent the plot bunnies...btw...(ATTENTION ANYONE WHO READS BOTH THIS AND AKATSUKI SUPERHEROES! IT WILL NOT BE UPDATED FOR ABOUT THREE WEEKS THANKS TO SOME VERY RUDE PEOPLE, WHO POKE AT ME AND DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY TO REVIEW! HOWEVER, IF YOU DO NOT POKE AT ME FOR UPDATES, OR YOU DO REVIEW! YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME! THIS EVIL MESSAGE DOES NOT CONCERN YOU! OMG XD!)
Disclaimer- I do not own naruto...(although i secretly wished i did) That way everything would end all sad and deppressing...and Itachi would be possessed...XD.
Chapter Nine- Mops and Brooms and Songs
The building was empty. No furniture, no Television, and no computer..sad times, my friends, sad times. The air of the swamped regions chilled them cold. Kabuto had made a fire of the only thing they had left in the house. Those being old pictures of Orochimaru in disturbing poses. No mover man dare touch them. For upon doing such would result in what the ninja referred to as, "Pedophillic contamination."
Sasuke stared blankly at the wall. Just stared. Still wearing that hideous excuse for a robe. The chest open. He sighed.
"Kabuto?" He muttered, lowly, Kabuto nodded, yet didn't bother looking his way. All eye contact resulted in the Uchiha horror...or possibly, even worse an Itachi story.
"I'm hungry."
"I know that already." Kabuto groaned. "In case you didn't realize, Jirobo is still in the room."
Jirobo was rolling over on the floor from starvation, or so he called it. "Iiiiim Huuuuuunnngry..." He groaned, Kidomaru backed away from him, afraid that if anyone resulted in cannibalism, it would be Jirobo. He tried to warm himself by the fire...yet he had this weird thought that contact with it would turn his eyes purple and give him a skin disorder. He kept seeing it for some reason, even though it was so unlikely. Part of him just told himself: God...never let me look like Lord Orochimaru...
Kabuto shivered. The silence was beyond awkardness. He hated to admit it, but damn...a good insult would kill something right now. Even if when anger. Kimi had left after Lord Orochimaru, shouting things such as: "How could you let such a thing happen?" and "Why would you betray our master?" Kabuto shrugged to him in response and his jaw almost dropped in shock before he left. No one really understood why Kimimaru was so damn loyal to that transvestite ass snake. The rest of the people of sound, other than Kabuto and Sasuke, were really only there because the curse mark, he made their lives a living hell.
"Kabuto...I'm so bored." Sasuke groaned, constantly complaining, that boy. Nothing ever seemed to satisfy him. You give him friends, he leaves them for power, you give him power? He wants to kill someone he can't. You get him a luxury mattress, and all he can think of is how Itachi once shaved him bald in his sleep. He stared at him now...in his little outfit. His gay looking little outfit. They all knew why Orochimaru made it that way. Sasuke just didn't seem to realize. Perhaps too stupid, or he was too busy complaining to think about it. He started to think of what Tayuya used to do to insult him when she first saw him. He chuckled.
"What?" Sasuke muttered, seeing a twisted grin on Kabuto's face. He returned it with a disturbed glance.
"Hey, Kidomaru?" Kabuto muttered suddenly, looking over to the spider-armed youth, who was still trembling at that disturbing thought in his head. Hey shuddered as he looked up.
"Yeah?"
"Remember what Tayuya used to say about Sasuke's robe?"
Kidomaru, paused, thinking back. "OH YEAH!" He shouted, "That was a good one."
Sasuke, whom had never heard this himself, looked up, knowing it was going to be something offensive, knowing Tayuya.
"WHAT WAS IT?!" He demanded, a bit offensively. Kabuto grinned.
"You never heard it? The song?"
"Song?"
"Oh, it was Hilarious!" Kidomaru guffawed.
Sasuke froze, he had to hear it. "Tell me.."
"You might not find it...amusing.." Kabuto stated. "We'll tell you at a price."
"What?"
"No more Itachi stories for a week.."
Sasuke had to consider that one a moment, I mean, he lived on Itachi stories. Yet, after realizing this could be a threat to his persona, he nodded, and the deal was struck. Kabuto signaled to Kidomaru, who went over, and whispered something in Sasuke's ear. Kabuto almost exploded into laughter after seeing how Sasuke's emotionless face twisted into shock. He rose off the ground, whipping out a kunai, he shouted madly.
"SHE'S DEAD! I'LL GO TO AKATSUKI HEADQUARTERS NOW!!!!!" He screamed, "I'll kill her, my brother and ALL of them!"
Kabuto chuckled lightly, restraining himself. He has NO self-control. Then again, we're a lot more used to Tayuya's trash, but still...hilarious.
"Now, now, Sasuke, calm yourself..." He eased, rubbing his glasses clean, then his left eye wearily.
"We have a big day tomorrow, too..." Kabuto sighed, to the group who looked at him curiously, other then Sakon and Ukon, whom were wiped out asleep on the floor. "We're going to work!"
"Ummmm Kabuto?" Kidomaru raised a hand. "Isn't there a problem with that?"
"Hm? What?"
"We're wanted criminals? They will kill us on sight."
"Now, now, I've thought of that. That's why..."
"We're using disguises."
-
Tayuya paused. Just walking in the halls, just froze.
"Oh my god," She muttered, Kisame, who wasn't far behind stared.
"There's an imbalance in the force."
Kisame, confused, shook his head and went past. She just had this horrible...terrible feeling...that somewhere out there...a gray-haired guy with glasses was going to get his ass kicked. Well...it was a weird thought. She shrugged it off and carried on through the halls. She wandered in her new bedroom.(Which, thanks to her prick of a roomate, she was never going to get to sleep in..) She stared blankly. What a dump. That black paint all over the floor, which almost looked like somrthing directly ripped off Fullmetal alchemist. It made her want to vomit. The walls had holes, spiders and roaches scurried along the walls, hoping not to be seen. She looked at the window. It made her want to vomit. Dust plated to the window in such amounts it looked like lint from the washing machine.
I wonder...has this fucking drama queen EVER cleaned up this shithole??
A rat went by and she flipped. How she hated them. "FUCKING VERMIN!" She shouted loudly, kicking it up against the wall. It made it's escape through a hole in the wall. She moaned. It was probably that same little rat from last night. Tayuya groaned. Great.
She poked her head out the door. "DEIDRE!"
No response. She called again:
"DEEEEEIIIIIIDRE!"
Once again, she recieved no answer.
"DEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDRE!"
Deidara sat with a newspaper in the kitchen. He heard another shout, but refused to look up. Zetsu looked over.
"I think she's calling you."
"I know, un." He muttered, dryly. "I just don't intend to respond until she says it right."
"DEIIIIIIDRE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Another shout roared.
"It appears Hidan's girl is getting upset." Itachi sighed. "Perhaps you do not want a repeat of this morning?"
Deidara ignored that statement. Tayuya was standing in the same place, steaming. Tobi approached her. Oh no, the fucking stalker-kid.
"YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NAMED DEIDRE?!" He muttered.
Somewhere Tayuya could just SWEAR that he had met Deidara before, when was it? Oh yeah! five minutes ago!
"I"LL HELP!" He squealed, delighted by the idea that he could actually "help" someone.
"DEEEEEIIIIIDRE!"
"That would be Tobi." Muttered Kisame whom walked into the kitchen, snatching up a bag of cracker jacks.
"He called me the same thing.." Deidara groaned. "Which means he's too stupid to realize he's actually looking for me...he thinks she's looking for someone named Deidre..."
"DEEEEEEIIIIIDREEE!" Tobi called. The stopped. "Well, I tried...I"M GOING TO MIST NOW!"
He walked away. She thought that maybe he meant the mist village..But Tobi was a bit...special. You never really did know...
"DEIDRE YOU SHITHEAD ASS BASTARD TRANSVESTITE GET YOUR LAZY MOTHERFUCKING ASS OVER HERE BEFORE I DRAG YOU HERE MY SELF!"
Deidara pulled up the paper. Still ignoring her. He hummed a happy little tune. Everyone else in the room...was shocked to say the least. Kisame had decided it was about time to begin writing Deidara's eulogy.
"You really should..."
"It doesn't matter, un." He sighed, "After all what's the worst she could dooooooooo..."
Deidara's words dragged to a stop. Why you ask? A little minor factor known simply as...the table flipped over his head. There before him stood a very, happy sunshine cheerful Tayuya...and I just abused the word sarcasm. She pointed viciously at him.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" She roared, Kisame etched out of the room. This could get ugly. "I KNOW YOU HEARD ME CALLING YOU!"
Deidara chuckled lightly, Oh god, why did I have to say that?..un.
She stomped towards him, the darth vader music went around in Zetsu's head for some reason. "You fucking transvestite prick...now I want you to answer me this...NOW." Tayuya growled like a bull who just got branded on the ass. Deidara had to guess what exactly could be the problem NOW.
"Ummmmm...protection, un?"
BEEP! Wrong answer. Or should I say very wrong answer?
"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MOP AND BROOM?!" She shouted, angrily, Deidara paused. Wait..what?
"You mean to tell me you broke our kitchen table...because you needed a mop and broom?"
"DONT FUCKIN QUIZ ME!"
Wow...I'm starting to pity Hidan...
"Ummm...next to the fridge..."
And then her fury magically seemed to dissapear. She grabbed it and left without a word as if nothing happened. Lucky for Kakuzu and Hidan, they were gone on a mission getting groceries...but damn. The surviving group stared at the overturned table, two of it's legs broken off.
"DAMMIT!" Deidara complained, a bit infuriated...yeah a BIT. "Does she realize how hard it is to buy a cofee table when you're a wanted S rank criminal?"
