MistressYaoi: Yo I'm back to give you another chapter of retarded shit

MistressYaoi: Yo I'm back to give you another chapter of retarded shit! Okay so the rating was upped because of language. Sorry about that. Anyways… SOREN! The disclaimer!

Soren: The bitch known as MistressYaoi does not own Fire Emblem or any of it's characters…

MistressYaoi: And the useless pile of organic material known as Soren will suffer greatly in this chapter for the bitch comment… Take that fucker! Please valued reader continue and enjoy the tourtur… I mean story…

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Titania was outside by the stables feeding her horse when Rhys walked up to her.

"Titania you got a letter." Rhys said.

Now as we all know Titania does not have mad ninja skillz so she was surprise… She ended up striking Rhys with her axe killing the priest… He was revived by the magic reset button…

"What was that for bitch!?" Rhys shouted.

"Oh Rhys you startled me." Titania said.

"Don't give me that startled crap! You did that on purpose!"

"Yeah yeah. Just like that time Shinon was drunk and he killed you because he thought you were Ike."

"Just shut and take your damn letter!"

"I wonder what it says."

"Dunno. Why don't you open it up and find out." Rhys said sarcastically.

"Are you pulling a Soren and PMS-ing?" Titania asked.

"NO! I am NOT acting like Soren!"

"Okay…" Titania opened the letter and gasped, "Oh noes! Mist and Rolf have been kidnapped!"

"Again!?"

"We must go help them!" Titania cried dramatically.

"Just go get the others you retarded bitch."

" Ahem. Right!" Titania said as she left to go tell the others what had happened.

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Now as you know Ike and his merry band of retards passing themselves off as mercenaries go against Titania's orders and go and try to save Mist and Rolf on their own… So to make a long story short Rhys was used as a shield and was continually killed and revived by the magic reset button, Ike killed Boyd mistaking him for an enemy, Oscar stood on a healing bush filing his nails, Titania showed up and killed everyone friend and foe cause she was pissed that no one listens to her, Oscar's horse being the demon horse it is retaliated and killed Titania who was revived by the magic reset button as was every other important main character, and Boyd and Ike fought over who would kill the boss… That is until Rhys pulled out a magnum and shot the boss. That now leads us to this awkward situation…

Mist and Rolf where still being held hostage by some random pug ugly bandit that happened to survive. Ike and his companions were weaponless and the ugly random bandit was about to kill Rolf… That was until a rocket was fired obliterating the bandit along with Mist and Rolf. They were brought back by the magic reset button.

"Booya! I kill- Aw man. The brats' survived." Shinon said as he and Gatrie came out of hiding.

"Sh-Shinon could y-you slow down…" Gatrie panted, "I can't keep up."

"I told you I wouldn't need your help… I dunno why you bothered with your armor."

"Because it makes my muscles look big." Gatrie began flexing his arms as the 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' music began to play.

"Whatever."

"Uncle Shinon!" Rolf cried as he ran over to the sniper, "Guess what Uncle Shinon! Uncle Shinon. Uncle Shinon."

"Oh for the love of…" Shinon pulled out an uzi and shot Rolf. He was revived by the magic reset button.

"Uncle Shinon! Guess what Uncle Shinon!"

"Wha…" Shinon shot Rolf again and, again, Rolf was revived.

"Uncle Shinon!"

"Wh-What are you? Why won't you die?" Shinon asked

"Duh! I can't die! I'm an NPC." Rolf replied

Shinon collapsed to the ground clutching his head and began to scream bloody murder.

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The mercenaries returned to their base and Greil punished them for disobeying orders by putting them through midevil torture devices like the rack or the iron maiden.

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MistressYaoi: Okay that is chapter two. When I said language I bet your mind instantly thought Shinon… Don't deny it you know it's true. Anyways please review! I live off of your reviews!

Soren: That's because the computer owns your soul…bitch.

MaistresYaoi: It's true… Anyways see you next chapter!