A/N- I am sooooo sorry!!!! This is so hugely, horribly late. T.T okay, okay. I'm taking a break from my chapter stories for awhile but I'm going to update this before I go for.. (I may take a month long break. Maybe two.) SO SO SORRY! Here you go. It's a bit more serious than usual I think. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

I do not own naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and he holds all the rights which I do not. I also do not own Brookshire Brothers.


-Chapter 14- The Closet Lady.

"Thank you for shopping at Brookshire Brothers, that will cost you 54.99, sir!"

Kabuto's sick mind found this line of work amusing somehow. Maybe he was just a people person, maybe it was the employee benefits, or actually it was because he had every opportunity to rob the cash register every time the manager looked off.

Whenever he was asked why he was light on money, he would shrug and make up a story about how he saw Sasuke lingering around it earlier. Worked every time. He chuckled lightly. Glancing around. Sasuke was bagging the grocieries, at peace that the Brookshire Brothers had uniforms. THANK GOD! Sakon and Ukon, were comfortably Security guards, Jirobo the master of Customer service. That worked. No customer ever asked for service again. They were all too afraid to go over there.

Kidoumaru had a comfortable job as the free sample guy.

-By the free sample table.-

"Young man, young man are you okay?" Poked an elderly woman, jabbing his head as he lied motionless on the table. She didn't bother noticing all the blood on the floor. "Young man, do you need some help?" He twitched. Only slightly.

It took three days for someone to finally realize he wasn't sleeping on the job and call the hospital. When interrogated on why the now hospitalized Kidou had four massive bloody wounds in the sides of his torso, Kabuto shrugged lightly, and then, once again, made up a story about Sasuke lingering around the cash register.

"Sir, what does that have to do with his wounds?"

"Maybe he called him out. You know. The guy has horrible emotional problems. Like this one time.."

"Kabuto..I'll kill you." Sasuke growled, being in the same interrogation space. "If you don't stop this bullshit..."

They were lucky cops never care about who works at grocery stores. Otherwise they would've been arrested for their serious crimes against humanity already. Plus that guy Kabuto tripped earlier on his bike.

The cop guys cell phone rang,and was swiftly answered to.

"Tsk, Tsk, I got some bad news."

"OH MY GOD WE...I MEAN SOMEONE KILLED KIDOUMARU!" Jirobo roared.

-

Living with a bunch of men means they had to turn the air conditioner on to about negative fifty damn degrees. Wet clothes, cold weather. She had to keep her hands folded over her chest the whole time. There had to be something simpler. Why were there no girls in this damned organization of misfit losers? Why? Just one to maybe...lend her SOMETHING to wear. Plus after too long it would get mildewed...and yeccch.

They had at least moved on to the living room. She sat in the dark, shady corner of evil. Like some recluse.

"Why don't you assholes get some female members?"

"Hey we have one!" Kisame chuckled. "If you aren't afraid to go in there."

"Where?" Tayuya growled demandingly.

Tobi was the first to turn around.

"TO THE CAVE OF NO RETURN!" He roared like some insane cackling freak.

There was a pause throughout the room. Tayuya blinked a few times, making sure to keep her chest covered.

"What fucking drugs are you on and can you get me some?"

Tobi sniffled. "Drugs are bad! Tobi is a good boy!"

"He means the closet next to the kitchen, un." Deidara sighed, glancing over to his moping partner with a look of displeasure. "The leader's girlfriend lives in there."

Tayuya had very few memories of the closet in the kitchen. That loud call for food. Plus, any woman that would date that freak had to be outta her fucking mind. Completely out of it. Plus agreeing to live in a closet didn't play much for her sanity either.

But then again it was better then a bunch of standing in front of a bunch of men as they eye you to see if you'll drop your guard and your arms. Anything was better than that. Even maybe...being with Orochimaru and gang. She stopped herself. She couldn't have really just thought that.

Bad mind, bad mind.

In a few minutes she ended up in front of the closet. A bag of chips in hand. Hey nervousness leads to hunger. She had to cover with only one hand.

"Sempai! She's going in!" Tobi squealed. "Shouldn't we stop her?"

Itachi sighed. "You act as if she's going to battle with some fierce animal." He muttered in apathetic fashion.

"What? You aren't worried about how awful the leader's girlfriend is? Why would he keep her in a closet? Un."

"..." No response came from Itachi. Deidara sighed. Of course.

-

The lights were on. That was a good thing. Unlike her insane partner she was vampiric. That's a good sign.

Problem number one: Where exactly was she?

"HEY!"

Tayuya almost jumped. Her head twisted around. There was her answer. Upon realizing someone was coming in she had hidden next to the door. "Don't you fucking do that again." She breathed.

"Are those chips, hand em over!" This lady didn't go for small talk. It took five seconds for Tayuya's chips to be whisked out of her hands. This chick munching on them as fast as she could. "Oh my god these are so...fucking good."

Tayuya stared blankly at this peculiar eating ritual of hers. She did look a bit malnourished. Scrawny and colorless to the sight. What the hell, was the leader not permitting her to have food or what? She frowned as the bag was emptily tossed on the floor.

"So, whatcha,want?" She muttered. Yawning slightly. "Never seen you before. Plus most the guys stay outta here."

Seems like all of them to me.

The Closet lady started madly adjusting her cerulean-colored hair, re-arranging the flower secured on her head. The works. Almost in an obsessive manner.

"You wouldn't have any..spare clothes..would you?"

"Yeah, whatever, sure. Knock yourself out." She muttered, pointing over to a dresser at the edge of the room. "Bring me more of that food you have and you're free to take what ya want."

Of course the food. However that wasn't mainly the thing she was curious about. She chuckled at what the answer might be.

"How the hell did you and the crazy ass vampire of a leader hook up?"

She almost burst into laughter. In fact she did. Leaning against her wall laughing her ass off. "The son of a bitch got me drunk, and when I woke up here I was!" She almost couldn't stop. "Then the bastard just started demanding all this shit, saying we were a couple. Frankly, he's out of his mind."

Well, that makes sense. Tayuya thought. He's driven her insane.

Tayuya worked through the drawers. Interesting choice of wardrobe she had. Well, it could have been worse. But they were all a bit too revealing. Or just girly. She'd take revealing.

"So who got you drunk and dragged you here by force?"

"My bastard team members placed an ad and I'm more or less just playing along."

"Your team members sold you?"

"Yep, pretty fucking much." Tayuya shrugged. "Never liked the bastards anyway."

"So, you like sleep on their couch or something and do slave labor?"

"Heh, I wish, I'm roomed me up with this jackass named Hidan."

The closet lady chuckled, making Tayuya pause slightly. Sorting through any motives for that sinister little thing.

"I see, then." She chuckled again, making Tayuya shiver that time. "So how well do you guys get along?"

What is this a police interrogation?

"He's a loser, perverted, and dumbass sonuvabitch who I desire with all my heart to be smashed, cut into pieces and burned only to have his ashes thrown into the deepest darkest pits of the universe and compressed into a mass of fucking nothingness."

"Ooh, harsh." She cooed. "Yet, cute."

"What the hell is cute about it?"


A/N- Well I think this is a decent spot to leave off for a little break. (Even though I cut off, SEEYA!)