A/N- This is dedicated to LyAlive(She has the right to complain because she actually reviews. YAY for once someone who has the right.) for being about the fiftieth person to tell me to force an update. Well now it is time for an excuse. It started with a week of waiting. Then my computer was shut down for a few days, then I had writers block, then I kept procrastinating, forgot where I was and then moved 600 miles. SO that's my story, Not very believable, but fact.

Oh, by the way, I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 15: The Very Late Chapter about Clothing.

"It's one of those clichéd thingies people talk about online!" The closet-lady raised a finger with a dark and evil glare. "You know?"

"What?"

"Oh you know!" She went on, "It's like how the fanfiction people write SasuNaru! A love-hate thing…" She watched as the confused glance on Tayuya's face twisted into a somehow even more confused guise.

"I think you've spent a little bit too much time in this fucking closet." She mumbled in response. "I see a hate-hate thing but as far as I see it, that guy can stick his head in a damned blender."

"Fine, fine," Closet lady muttered. "Suit yourself."

Tayuya grimaced at the eyesore she was wearing. She wasn't sure if it was fifteen sizes too small or just plain skanky. The azure-haired girl gave her a questioning peer.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing'"

My god I can't seriously wear this, can I? Ugh it's fucking repulsive.

Leather, and horrible, it was like something out of a Brittney Spears movie if she was on crack at the time. She sighed; at least she wouldn't have to hold her arms up constantly. Now if only she could find a nice blanket to cover her shame…

She took a breath. "Are you coming?" She glanced to Closet-girl.

"Eh, I'll get to it. Don't close the door it locks from the outside."

"Yeah….sure…..whatever," She muttered, and with one last sigh left the room, knowing the moment she stepped into that god-forsaken kitchen. Several men would die. She would start with Hidan.

She moved back into the light and the glare hurt her eyes. She groaned at the inconvenience. Closet girl must melt if she came out here. She chuckled to herself at the thought of the woman melting into a puddle screaming "I'm Melting! I'm melting!" Like in that copyrighted movie she saw when she was six. Then she imagined Hidan melting and her smile just grew larger.

Okay, what was the way Uncle Jim said to deal with awkward moments? Um right before the big drug deal imagine them as if they were naked, yeah…naked. Okay, or was it to imagine that I'm naked? Wait that won't work…I practically AM naked so yeah it has to be them…them…them. Alright Tayuya, the moment of truth, you can survive with these cock-sucking assholes just a bit longer without going fucking insane. Deep breath, Funny things, Hidan dying, Kabuto shot, and fat people falling down stairs…..

She walked in, and surprisingly, wasn't noticed. She moved down and sat on the couch, staring blankly at the Television as if it were some sort of holy protection, as long as their eyes were fixated on its intoxicating rays, she was safe from lechery. Oh thank you God in heaven.

Little did she know, however, that maybe God was out to get her? She knew how doomed she was the moment she heard those evil words, spat from the speakers of incomprehensible doom.

"Seinfeld will return after a word from our sponsors."

"AH SHIT!" She shouted, which only made suffering come swifter. The entire groups of them, once again excluding Itachi, turned their heads on their necks like androids. She sunk into the couch a bit deeper.

She heard a few chuckles.

"It was the only thing…she fucking had." She grumbled. "The only fucking thing other than that god forsaken pink sweater and by God I would not have chosen that disgrace."

Pretend their naked, naked.

She tried, and about five seconds later decided that was not in her best interest. AH MY FUCKING EYES!

"Where's the makeup, un?" Deidara chuckled snidely, "Since you decided to pursue a job as a stripper."

"SHUT THE HELL UP DEIDRE!" She roared.

Silence would not come, every other second another stupid comment.

She glared at Hidan, just waiting for the excuse to tear his head from his body. He returned it. At that moment, it was as if this last second would be the final straw the breaking point in which all her anger turned into a fireball.

The chuckling suddenly stopped.

What was the problem? He was a bit lacking on the smart-ass responses at the moment. Time went on, and as did the small staring competition. Her feet were hurting. She stepped up and down constantly to ease them, only to somehow work.

"Well?" She glared. Another pause, "Does the dumbass have a comment? Or has he finally realized it wasn't worth it?"

"Shut the hell up bitch, I'm just breathless due to the fact that you're way too fat for that outfit."

Tobi let out an "OOOOH" from across the couch.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"You heard me. You're a cow."

There were no chuckles to be heard at this moment. Tayuya twitched just a bit. She took a deep breath.

"Say that again, asswipe." She snapped. "Say that again."

"You're a fucking hog, so why are you even wearing that?"

Another one of those things every girl hates to hear. She was perfectly built as far as she saw it. Except maybe her thighs and her forearms and…. Wait! It was already taking effect. He was using his asshole attitude to hurt her girlishly low self-esteem! That prick, but she wouldn't fall for it, oh no. It was on. IT WAS SO ON.

"Up yours, asshole," She retorted swiftly, regaining her balance. "Mind your own business and go back to man-loving."

Another "OOOH" arose. Itachi rolled his eyes at this. How did this organization get so damned childish? He shook his head.

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"Shithead."

"Cunt."

"Self-centered wuss."

"Homely, loudmouthed whore!"

It seemed to go on for hours, but things came to end when Closet lady walked in. Tobi started shouting random cries of fear while pointing madly.

"Oh hey guys, what's up?" She grinned, and then looked towards the angry, ranting Tayuya and Hidan just ahead. "Oh, that." Itachi gave her an odd look and she waved.

"Heeeeey, its Itachi. Hi, Itachi, it's been awhile."

Itachi shook his head. She frowned.

"What's your problem? I don't even get a hug or anything?"

"Be quiet Konan." He replied simply, then, looked to the other side of the room.

Deidara blinked at that statement. That's…. really creepy.

"Moron!" Tayuya shrieked, paying no attention to the other female in the room. She shoved him by the shoulder with a bit too much force, and almost lost her balance in the process of doing such. Hidan, regaining his balance lifted his head at the wrong time, and as a man, and as most men will admit, could not stop looking when his eyes hit the right spot. Tayuya stared. She stared and stared and stared until the moment came when the jackass realized she knew and finally lifted his damned head.

"Get a good look, shithead?" She snapped viciously. "Try that again and hear me, I'll drug you, smash them, cut them off and send them to your mother."

"My mother's dead, dumbass."

"Well…" She paused. What to say back, what to say back? "I'll send them to her fucking grave then!" Well if I'm so fat why the hell was the dumbass staring so long? Hm?

"Closet-lady?" She turned, pointing at Konan. "On second thought, I think I'll take that pink friking sweater."

Konan paused. "Oh, okay."

Tayuya stormed ahead. Her anger very evident due to the loud thumps of her steps as she went towards the kitchen. Konan shrugged. "Whatever."

Hidan would swear on his life he only looked for a second. Then again he didn't have a good sense of time, which is why he was celebrating Christmas in August last year. I mean, Christmas in August, what was that? The same goes for her ass as she went to change. Just a second. Just a second.


A/N- LOOOOL THIS CHAPTER SUCKS SO FRIKING BAD IT'S PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!