A\N- Gaia online influenced me to update sooner than this would have been. Isn't it great? Ah well. I once again hate this chapter.

I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 16- The Truth About Konan.

The time flashed 2:33 as she dragged herself through the hallways, eyelids half open, and feet dragging across the brown carpet just asking to absorb static. The mission at hand would be known only as Operation Midnight snack. She almost tripped and fell on her face while she lurked like a zombie down the stairs, only to recover gracefully, by grabbing for the side bars as fast as she could. It was almost enough to wake her up, but not quite.

She didn't bother turning on the light as she walked through the kitchen, shoveling away all the trash foods until she at last found a nice package of yogurt. She gave a sigh, an uneventful walk; she never would have thought it possible.

She froze, she heard a voice somewhere. Could it be that her thoughts betrayed her? Was it time for the gods to point and laugh at her screaming such curses assuring her that oh the torture had just yet begun to occur to it's fullest.

She glanced across the dark room, and then eyed the door to Konan's room.

-10 hours later-

Deidara was the first to rise, being the most civilized of the organization, well, as far as he saw it anyways. He yawned a bit, and then passed her up while she sat in the living room. He would have carried on, but by the time he took one more step he realized something wrong with the situation before him. He stopped, and turned.

"What's your problem, yeah?"

She rocked a bit back and forth, her arms wrapped around her knees, her eyes widened, and marked with dark circles that showed the fact that she had been sitting there the whole night.

"Hello?"

"Oh my god they were all like holy shit, holy mother of fuck…" She sputtered almost randomly as the puzzled Deidara raised an eyebrow. "All I wanted was a yogurt and that was all ah man…..shit."

Kisame came down the stairs, "Hey Deidara,"

"Keep walking."

"Kay."

"Okay, try talking slowly this time, yeah?" Deidara moaned. "Why the hell are you blocking walking space?"

"There were people in there." She spat.

"And this explains what exactly?"

"And they were doing things."

Deidara looked beyond blank. He never thought anyone could be traumatized to hell by people just doing "things" was the world that lazy? Or was she just being retarded, or just plain vague? He rolled his fingers a bit. This was wasting his time. He could have been eating right now, but no, he was stuck dealing with this retarded witch.

"Doing what kind of things, yeah?" He muttered with little enthusiasm. "We aren't going to get anywhere if you just can't tell me what the hell your trip is."

Hidan lingered down the stairs, and Deidara's eyes turned to him. He shook his head.

"Hidan, you're fluent in dumbass."

"What the fuck was that for?" He stopped in his tracks. "Way to already start off a crappy day, Deidara." Somewhere in between the rambling words filled with vulgar terms, Deidara finally managed to force some words in there.

"Do something about this."

Hidan's face twisted from anger to confusion and then back to anger in a matter of two point three milliseconds.

"What the fuck is her problem?"

"I don't know, she's too damned vague, yeah." Deidara's eyes lowered in irritation. "But since the two of you are on the same level maybe you can figure it out."

Hidan let out a groan as he moved in front of the still freaked-out Tayuya. He blinked a moment, it must have been serious because he didn't get the common "Dumbass" or "Shithead" or "cock-sucking asswipe" he was used to these past, and well he forgot the amount of days.

"Hey what the fucks wrong with you?"

"They were doing things."

Deidara shook his head. "Told you, yeah."

"What? She means she saw people having sex, she must have changed the channel on the damned TV."

There was pause around the room. Deidara chuckled to himself. "You really are fluent in dumbass!"

"Shut the hell up!" He snapped. He twitched a bit. "So much for damned maturity, she sees one thing and freezes up like a fucking five year old."

He stared at her a moment, then after a few minutes of getting annoyed, hit her across the head. Deidara looked at him as if he was mad, but in the end, perhaps it was for the best.

Tayuya rubbed her head. "What the fuck was that for?!"

"You fucking lost it! Geez, next time check the guide before changing channels!"

"What?" She paused at that. "I wasn't talking about the fucking TV! I was talking about real life, breathing people!"

"Ouch, somewhere a porno star just felt really empty inside, yeah."

"Hold the fuck up, where was this?"

"Konan's room!"

Deidara and Hidan both froze on and instant, she watched as their faces attempted to hold back the emotion that was so obvious to be: laughter. Deidara lost first.

"What the hell's so funny?" She muttered. "It's just plain disgusting."

"I mean, you couldn't tell, yeah?"

"Tell what?" She thought a bit for a moment, yet the point was unclear, just what mystery could this psychotic assholes be speaking of? Why didn't she know? What else were they keeping from her, her paycheck, her mail, or the unknown location of her old sound uniform? The last one she would really enjoy knowing. "She seems alright to me!"

"Even after going through all the clothes you're still fucking dense."

"Just tell me what the deal is already!"

Deidara shook his head, and simply shrugged, he used hand motions to describe his point in a way that seemed more creepy than helpful in any way.

"You see, Konan is what we men, refer to as 'Fast Food'." Tayuya gave him an odd look. "Its understandable as part of the female species that you may not have heard it, yeah?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

Hidan sniggered a bit. "God, are you just fucking stupid?"

"Shut the hell up! How the fuck am I supposed to know some term you probably just made the hell up on the spot?!"

"Oh it's real, it's real." Deidara smiled. "Just tell me, when you think of McDonalds fast food, what do you think of, yeah?"

"Well it's uh, fast."

"No kidding."

"And it's cheap."

"Keep going, yeah."

"And easy to get?" She guessed randomly.

Somewhere in the world a correct buzzer screamed. Deidara gave her a pat on the shoulder.

"See it wasn't that hard, was it?" He smiled. "Not apply that to a girl."

There was a blank silence, which soon erupted in laughter, as the duo saw Tayuya's face disfigure itself into the ugliest look imaginable by the human mind.

"UGH WHAT THE FUCK?"

An unwanted laugh was heard behind them. Deidara and Hidan silenced and turned.

"Who said you could laugh?"

The laughing Tobi standing secretly behind them silenced his laughter. "Everyone else was doing it, I just wanted to be popular."

"Well don't, yeah."

Tobi slinked off and out of sight with am invisible maniacal twinkle in his eye, since you couldn't see it, you know, due to that mask? Tayuya shivered.

What if she got some kind of disease from wearing this? The last thing she needed was a good case on Gonorrhea or Syphilis. Well this was just great, wasn't it? I mean what possibly could go worse? Their laughing about her clothes, she's dealing with all their asshole personalities, and now she was wearing the clothes of a slut. Could things just get any better?

-

The rest of the sound village losers were the only ones attending the funeral, and people going to other graves would not stop giving them ugly looks.

Kabuto approached the grave.

"You've been a good friend, Kidou." He muttered, "Outside the fact that you more or less were a whiny bitch and an asshole the rest of the time, but hey, who's perfect? Well you definitely weren't, but still…"

The rest of the group was blank, and decided that they would stay silent due to the immense creepy feeling Kabuto was spreading. He then pulled out a red spray can, and sat on his knees.

"I was saving this for Sasuke's funeral, but you earned it man, you earned it!"

Sasuke and the rest of the group frowned, as they watched Kabuto spray-paint the words "Rot in Hell" on poor Kidou's grave.

"I thought you put flowers on people's graves." Sakon raised a hand. Kabuto glared over to him.

"Do I LOOK like I'm made of daisies Sakon?" He muttered. "Now Mourn damn it!"

"Kabuto, you just wrote profanity on his..." Sasuke started.

"Shut your trap and mourn Sasuke!"

"Fine!" Sasuke replied, his voice trailed to a whisper. "Hard-ass."

"Mourn!"


A/N- Lol the next chapter's gonna have a lot of Tobi in it. Ah well.