My thanks to Nonasuki-chan for beta and other valuable comments.


Chapter 5

It was silent the whole way back. I was staring from the window, thinking about what we had to do. At some point my anger diminished a little, but the tense atmosphere remained. Yoji didn't have anything to say, focusing all his attention on driving.

The car stopped and I realized we were home. I had stopped paying attention somewhere on the way.

"I'm sorry," said Yoji quietly, looking at the wheel.

"It's not your fault," I said. Even though one part of me wanted to throw his own words back at him about how in shape for the mission he was, it was pointless. He had realized it already and I would need his cooperation in the future. "They shouldn't have put us on this mission so early."

Yoji was still watching the wheel, his face burning. I touched his arm lightly, hiding the pain the movement brought me. "You know how to handle a gun, right?"

He looked at me then, surprised. In the gloom I could see his widened eyes, slightly opened mouth, still reddened cheeks… The small space seemed suddenly stuffy, the smell of the blood stronger. I let my hand fall down.

"Although I still prefer katana, having a second weapon is a good idea," I said quickly. "For both of us, especially if we can't rely on Kritiker completely."

Yoji nodded slowly.

I waited just for that nod before getting out of the car.

"I'll get some," I heard. "Just give me time."

"Aa." I didn't look at him, still confused from different feelings. Suddenly I felt tired and wanted to get a shower and sleep.

Yoji locked the car, and I heard his steps following me to the door. Once inside, he gripped me firmly by the wrist. "You're not going anywhere until I treat your injuries."

"Kudou," I growled, "it's just a scratch. I can take care of it myself."

"No way."

"What's going on?" Omi entered the kitchen. I wasn't surprised that he was waiting for our return. Ken probably stayed awake too.

"Aya got hurt and he wants to hide as usual."

"It's nothing serious."

"Of course," said Omi. "Hold him down, Yoji. I'll go for the first aid."

Yoji smiled triumphantly, ignoring my death glare.

I made a mental note to tell Omi to look at his back later.


"Damn it!"

I sighed, closed the book I had been reading, and went down. Ken was watching TV again. He had become more and more restless in the last few days. Two weeks after we had fallen into the sea he was vibrating with unused energy.

"Those pricks don't even know how to play right!"

Maybe he should vent it somehow.

"And they call this football."

Screaming didn't seem sufficient anymore.

Omi entered the room at the same moment as I did. "Manx is here, Aya-kun."

I looked at Ken who frowned. "Just go, it's not like I can be useful right now."

I nodded and left him. Maybe we should try to let him work in the shop or something.

"Ken's upset," said Omi quietly.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically and Omi came to a halt, staring at me in shock.

"Not now, Omi. We dealt with it later."

"Hey, are you guys coming or not?" called Yoji from downstairs.

"Hai, hai," answered Omi.

I let him go first. Manx was tapping her fingers on the files impatiently. I leaned against the wall as usual, waiting.

"I have a new mission for you. Omi's hand is in better shape, he can participate."

"No," I said quietly.

She looked at me, unconcerned. "Of course, he doesn't have to. This mission is possible to complete just with you and Balinese."

"Have you read the report, Manx?"

"Yes, I have. However, the mission was successful and nobody was hurt seriously."

"It was a close call. I won't allow anyone of my team to take a mission until they are fully healed."

Everyone stared at me.

"So," I continued, "with the exception of solo missions, we're going to refuse."

"No solo missions," said Yoji suddenly. "You aren't going anywhere without backup."

I raised an eyebrow, stunned by the vehemence in his voice, but nodded anyway. Yoji could be stubborn when he wanted and it wasn't worth the fuss.

"This is ridiculous," said Manx irately.

"The doctors said I'd be able to work with my wires without any problems after a week, as you certainly know," said Yoji more calmly. "For such an organization as Kritiker is, it shouldn't be a problem. After all, we aren't the only team."

She looked at Omi, who nodded. He didn't even look nervous from the tension in the room. Sometimes I forgot he wasn't a kid.

"I agree with Aya-kun. It's unnecessary to put anyone in danger just because of impatience."

Manx sighed, suddenly looking more tired than angry. "Fine, have it your way."

We didn't move until she left. Then Yoji smiled. "Be careful, Aya. People might think you actually care."

"I just don't want to get killed," I murmured while Omi beamed at us.


I found Yoji outside, smoking.

"Going for a walk?" he asked.

I hesitated. "I want to speak with you."

He blinked, surprised. "What's going on?"

"Not here," I murmured and began to move.

He caught up with me quickly. "Where are we going?"

"To the park."

"Eh, what about Omi? Won't he be pissed off that we left him alone in the shop?"

"At this time it's never crowded, he can manage it by himself."

"That's not exactly what I meant."

I looked at him from the corner of my eye. "I asked him, he agreed." To tell the truth, Omi had looked rather like a fox that had caught a fat hen. Sometimes I didn't understand him.

"Did he?" asked Yoji but didn't say anything else until we reached the park.

He slumped on a bench, immediately lighting a cigarette. "Man, you're going to buy me a beer for this walk."

I just snorted.

"Sit down," he said and looked at me over the rim of his sunglasses.

I took the place next to him and looked around. It was sunny so the park was full of children. Their laugh and clamour made a pleasant background sound.

Yoji sighed. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"Aa."

During the next few minutes he finished his cigarette and threw away the butt.

I scowled at him. "You should have thrown it in a bin."

He ignored my words completely, the green eyes watching me seriously. "We need to return before school lets out. Are you in trouble, Aya?"

"No," I didn't want to disturb the peaceful atmosphere but Yoji was right and I had to ask him. He had better sources than me. "Have you heard about Schwarz since that time?"

"Schwarz?" he asked quietly, eyes narrowing. "What's going on? You've never explained what happened between Schuldig and you in that factory."

"And I'm not going to."

"Why?"

I didn't want to tell him what had happened. Yoji might know I was a selfish bastard, but there was no need for him to know exactly how much. "It's personal."

He caught me by the chin suddenly, forcing me to stare at him. The look at his face was… I didn't know what it was. Cold and hard. Deadly.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked me, his voice calm. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"No," I said.

Yoji let go of me then, tension quickly disappearing from his body. "You should tell me anyway. It's Schwarz so it concerns all of us."

It was the truth but... "I'll tell you one day."

He looked at me searchingly before finally nodding. "Ok, then. But to answer your question: I haven't heard about them."

So, it was pointless. Maybe they had even left the country.

"Is it a good news or bad?" he watched my expression and sighed. "You know you can't believe him about anything."

"I know."

He scowled. "That somehow failed to persuade me."

"Yoji…" I said with irritation.

"Understand," he said and stood up. "We should return to the shop but…" he looked at me, eyes warm and sincere. "…you know, you can trust me, right?" he asked and I just nodded numbly.

Yoji…was a better friend than I deserved.


Judging from Ken's expression, he was prepared to kill. Or even worse, go berserk and turn the shop into a bloody mayhem. Not that I could blame him.

We had placed Ken behind the counter, where he should have been more comfortable and gotten some distance from the customers, but… The girls were overexcited, they had not seen him for two weeks. And his leg plaster-encased gave them another excuse to overwhelm him with sweets, flowers (as if he didn't work in a flower shop) and most importantly with a store of inquiries and stupid questions.

Ken was always short-tempered but the last few days of physical immobility made him even more explosive… And now this.

"Keeen-kun, when are you going to see a doctor?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Can I offer you a chocolate?"

"I want to buy you a red rose."

"Don't you want to read this book? It's my favorite, I can loan it to you."

"Excuse me, I'd like to buy this bouquet. That's if you have time…"

Time for my favourite line.

"Girls," Yoji screamed so he was heard even over the chaos. The noise in the shop abruptly ceased. Nobody was used to Yoji's yelling, just mine. "You should give Ken a break. I mean," his voice became serious, "look at his expression…"

I did and shuddered. It remained me of Farfarello.

"…he's in pain. In fact, I think that you should go rest, Ken. We can manage it on our own."

Omi nodded viciously.

Ken just snarled and limped away. We heard a thump a little while later.

"What happened?" asked one girl anxiously.

"What if he felt?"

"I'm going to look," said Omi reassuringly while Yoji tried to persuade girls to leave. Every man had his limits. Even Yoji.


It was a late afternoon before the closing time, when Sakura came again. I was alone in the shop, Yoji didn't have a shift and Omi went ahead to prepare dinner.

She looked upset, so I put a broom aside. "Come in," I said. She did but chose to stand and look at the flowers, instead of sitting or coming closer to me. It was so strange that I recalled Omi's words but decided not to call the others. I was probably wrong and besides… If it really was Schuldig, I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Sakura? Did something happen?" That got reaction at least. She looked at me, tears in her eyes. I moved closer to her, my heart pounding.

What if someone had hurt her again?

"I tried to be brave but…"

She began to cry and threw herself into my arms. I froze but after a while I began to pat her clumsily.

"I can't speak about what happened with anyone," she whimpered. "When I try to tell my parents, they just get blank expressions and don't listen to me, still thinking I was on holiday! And it's the same with everyone else. They just asked me if I enjoyed it."

She giggled hysterically. "Do you understand? If I enjoyed it."

"Sakura-chan…"

She broke away from my embrace suddenly, her eyes flashing. "It's his work. How can he do it? How can someone have such power?" She was screaming now. "He can make me forget about everyone, he can make my parents forget I've ever existed!"

I stared at her, unable to comfort her. I could not lie to her and she would know better anyway.

"Why haven't you killed him yet? You are able to kill, I saw you doing it."

Her words touched me deeply, but I tried to stay reasonable. Fortunately, the shop was still empty. "Sakura, calm down."

"No, I won't. If I ever see him again, I'll kill myself! Do you understand? It would be better than ever becoming his puppet again."

She ran away, the shop bell ringing into the sudden silence. The whole scene, the light penetrating through shopwindows, everything felt suddenly cold, surreal.

. . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . ..…his body falling into the water…

...hair stained with blood…

eyes blue as a winter morning…

…Abyssinian…

I should have let you fall.