A/N- This is a little late and it got cut off halfway in case you don't notice that later. Oh well later.
I do not own Naruto.
Chapter 17- The Will
"Sasuke, leave me alone." Kabuto moaned, rolling over on his sleeping bag. "The last thing I want is to have nightmares about you telling me Itachi stories while dressed in drag."
Kabuto got another shove that pushed him over the curb into a conveniently placed puddle. He got up.
"What the fuck is your problem I said… oh you aren't Sasuke."
He looked up to see a person who resembled an actually useful member of society, though why he was pushing Kabuto and his buddies while they slept by the side of the grocery store at like, three in the morning was a bit confusing.
"Are you a mister..." He checked his list of names. "Kabuto Yakushi?"
Kabuto fondled a bit o his dyed hair. "Uhh no! My name's..er.. Albert!"
"So you aren't the Kabuto mentioned in a Mr. Kidoumaru's will?"
Kabuto's hair stood up at that. What will? Wasn't Kidoumaru broke? Poor? Was that bastard holding out on them this whole time?
"I mean sorry, yes I'm Kabuto Yakushi! By the way, how did our dear, sweet, and beloved Kidoumaru have money?" He muttered, hoping to get his answer. The suited man scrolled his list again.
"Yes well, a few years back his father died and left his fortune to him, but we never found him, and kind of gave up after a year or two…"
"So he was loaded and didn't know it?"
"Well, after searching his possessions, he did have a will of sorts. But it only had one name listed, and she is apparently part f your group?"
She? We don't have a sheoh wait.
"You must mean Sasuke!" Kabuto grinned devilishly, trying as hard as he could to avoid the obvious.
"No, I'm looking for a Miss, Tayuya, I believe."
Kabuto froze. Karma truly was a harsh mistress. This was just wrong, cruel and unjust. Just why the hell would Kidoumaru leave everything he owned to Tayuya of all people? Didn't he hate her? It made no sense! Certainly the bastard must have done this to deride him.
"If I can't get a hold of her it's just going to sit in the safe at the bank..."
"What does that will say?" Kabuto muttered. "What does it say?"
The man held up a copy, Kabuto's face took an ugly shape at what he read.
I, Kidoumaru, leave anything that my father may leave me to Tayuya of the Sound, despite the fact she was a bitch, she didn't cleave off my arms like Kabuto, and besides, I'm sure he'll probably read this and understand the fact that vengeance is very very sweet.
P. S. Have a nice life without cash Kabuto, hahaha loser.
P.S. S. And that, Sasuke, is how it's done.
"What the fuck!" Kabuto shouted. "If I go and find her, can we still get the money?"
"Sure. But it expires in two weeks."
"Gotcha."
-
Today was not Akatsuki's greatest moment. The day had started naturally, but somewhere along the lines it had made a horrible turn for the worst. Tayuya grimaced as she stared at the door now blocking her path to the outside hallways, and presently, somewhere away from the countless panicking men assorted around her. She had constantly suggested someone just blow a hole in the wall, but they would either ignore her entirely, or simply find some pathetically uncreative excuse not to do such.
One may ask, or at least wonder to themselves, why she was trapped in here? Twist of fate, plot device, or maybe the door lock was broken? If you thought any of the following, congratulations, because you were wrong, and your feeble attempts amuse me to no end. (Derisive laughing.) Well aside from foolishness and the fact that I'm a total bitch, the truth of the matter was, it was evil that trapped them in that damned room of Hidan's, and don't mistake that for the evil of their leader, no it was evil far more vile, repulsive, and well, stupid. A much more stupid evil, for this my friends was the evil of the semi-retarded, impulse driven, and overly anti-intellectual creature known to the organization as "Tobi". Until now, the beast had been considered tame, and virtually harmless to the others around him with the exception of the common migraines, but little did the group no of his diabolical plot, put hastily together in a span of three minutes and forty two seconds.
As fate would have it, a large amount of them fell for the trick. It made them almost doubt their common sense as criminals, he had simply walked up to every single one of them separately, and told them to go, and what did they do? They went.Never trust a guy wearing a mask and who watches Saturday morning cartoons.
The current situation was the following. Deidara was standing directly in front of her, banging his hand repeatedly on the door, shouting absurdities and curses to be released from the room. She turned her head to see Kisame in the position of almost crying under a statement about how he wanted to "see his wife" and how he "wanted a glass of water more than anything".
Hidan stood in the corner, talking to himself like some deranged mental patient, he gave a glance to her, snapped a few angry comments, and went back on his cursing spree as Kakuzu laughed at him for a moment, only to swiftly fall into silence upon reminding himself he was in trapped along with them.
"Tobi, I'm warning you, yeah." Deidara growled, stopping his fist from hitting the door again for about the eightieth time. "Let me out now."
"NO!"
"Tobi… when I get out of this room, I'm swear I'm going to shove that mask of yours so far up your ass you'll cough it back up!" There was a pause from Tobi on the other side of the door, which after too long was once again broken by a repeated, childish response of "NO!" Deidara wasn't a happy person at the moment and this was obvious. "Open this door you bastard! I'm gonna kill you for this, hear me!"He wasn't getting anywhere at all.
"Why can't we just blow a hole in the wall?" Tayuya complained rather loudly. "It'd be quick and easy. Just blow the whole damned thing to shit!"
The way Hidan looked at her made her feel as if the thought was nothing more than a moment of babbling, nonsensical crap.
"We aren't ruining my room; I'll die before that happens!"
"Just rebuild it!"
"That's your damned idea? Little girl says just rebuild it!"
"Well we rebuilt the other one!"
Deidara turned over to them for a second. "In case you don't remember, I did all the work, yeah."
"See, and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't rebuild mine, because he's not deathly afraid of me like he is of Itachi."
Deidara rolled his eyes and went back to his door. He paused before starting to scream at Tobi again. Who's afraid, I'm not afraid of that red-eyed freak. Where does he get off? That's stupid I am so not afraid…
"What's going on here?"
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Deidara shouted at the top of his lungs as he leapt up after hearing the sound of Itachi's voice. There was a silence on both sides of the door in response. Deidara's face turned a bit red. "I…must have dozed off, weird dream…yeah."
"You're a fucking liar Deidre."
"And you're a bitch so I guess we're even, hm?" Deidara muttered. He turned back to the door just as Kisame pushed him to the side. Hidan chuckled to himself, he elbowed Tayuya.
"I told you he was a chicken shit. Just hearing Itachi's voice almost made him shit his pants."
"You know I'm right here, yeah?"
"And your point?" Tayuya grinned over to him evilly, only for Deidara to silence.
"Never mind then." He growled. "Since when did you two get so damned friendly?"
Kisame beat on the door not too unlike Deidara, just in more of a desperate attempt then in pure rage.
"Itachi! Tobi locked us in, let us out!"
There was no reply from the other side of the door. Kisame tried again. "Come on, I'm your partner, just kick Tobi aside and open the door! Come on!"
There was another silence, however after so long; they got a very heartbreaking response.
"It's not my problem." Itachi muttered. "It's more enjoyable with the rest of you gone anyways."
"Excuse me?" Kisame raised his voice, which wasn't exactly a common thing around the building. "What do you mean it's not your problem? You son of a bitch… let me out of here right now before I…"
It drained out, somewhere in the midst of it all; Kisame was warping into some strange mixture of Hidan and Deidara. Temper tantrums and things of the like. Tayuya sat on the bed, bored out of her mind. What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. She averted her eyes from the light gleaming out from the window above the bed. It was too bright for its own good. Then it hit her, the window, glorious window, wonderful window, and path to freedom. She jumped up,
"That's the ticket!" She cheered, causing the group to turn to her. She pointed up. "Someone can crawl out the window!"
There was silence, and then a moan filled the area of the room.
"We can't fit through that thing, it's tiny." Hidan moaned. "What do I look like a fucking cat?"
"I'd have a better chance walking through a desert coated in tanning oil." Kisame muttered in aggravation. "Forget it."
"I'm counting my pocket change."
Tayuya sighed, at least one person had no complaints, and that was the transvestite, out of all the people, the gender-confused blonde was the only to keep silent? Then in a moment, she understood why. Deidara grinned evilly. Tayuya muttered curses at her own stupidity for allowing the following to happen.
"Of course a bunch of full grown men like us couldn't dream of fitting through a little window like that, yeah?" There was a hint of malice in his voice, how could she not see this coming? "Of course, I'm sure something like; a young girl could ever so easily squeeze through, eh boys?"
"I'm not getting you." Kisame muttered. "Where the hell are we gonna get one of those?" Deidara stared at him in the very way he deserved. He cleared his throat and pointed lightly over at the now traumatized Tayuya.
"Kisame what is that there?"
"That girl."
"And what sex is she?"
"Seme?"
"Try again."
"Uh, female?"
"Correct, now shutup and help me stuff her through the window, yeah?"
Tayuya backed up a bit at this, "Whoa whoa whoa, if I'm going, I'm doing it by fucking self, alright?" Hidan shrugged at this, "I think it's less fun that way."
"Well fuck what you think is fun, alright?"
She jumped on the tip of Hidan's bed and tried to force her legs up to the window, while trying to keep it tipped open at the same time. After a few minutes of attempts, she tripped, fell, and busted her face on the windowsill before hitting the bed again. There was a nearly silent array of chuckles across the room, but the silenced after she lifted up her head and wiped the blood of her face. She looked up. Why did this seem impossible?
She tried again, resulting in the same answer as the last time, except this time her head hit the wooden bed frame going down instead of just the windowsill, and the chuckles became less of chuckles and evolved into full blown ridiculous laughter.
She hated to admit it; she was going to need some assistance here.
She turned, "Can someone give me a boost?"
Another silence slipped over them. The men of the room exchanged looks with the exception of the preoccupied Kakuzu in the corner. Then Deidara coughed.
"Hidan, may you do the honors?"
Hidan turned, "Why don't you fucking do it?"
Kisame gave off another bizarre glance, "You want some other guy touching her ass?"
"No one is going to touch my ass!" Tayuya roared, turning off the conversation momentarily. "I want a boost, that doesn't mean you grab my ass, pick me up by the side!"
Once again, the males silenced. "Well that just takes all the fun out of it."
She growled curses to herself, maybe they were never going to get out of here. What is it with these lowlifes? Unless it involves the words Ass, Boobs, or chicks, they were uninterested. She gave a sigh, there was only one way to get out of this, wasn't there? A personal sacrifice of her pride as a part of the female race.
She took in a breath,
May god have mercy on her soul.
