It was twelve in the morning… And dark as night in my room. I stared straight up at the ceiling as I lie in my bad, listening to the tick tock of my clock on the nigh stand to the left of my bed. Each noise the clock made told me that I was a second closer to leaving my beloved home and friends. I had already said good-bye to my friends only three hours ago, but my chest still burnt in the pain of never possibly seeing them again. I shed so many tears, and still, they stung my cheeks immensely. I blinked a few times to clear my vision even though that action was not necessary. The only thing that I could see in this dark room that I love more than I have ever before was the memories of this place. I've been up for the past hour...trying to go to sleep. Every method would not carry me into unconsciousness. Every time I'd close my eyes, I'd remember that last view of my friends and the near kiss of Hiroki and me. Which led to another mystery that I continued to debate in my head. What was he doing? What was I doing? We're only friends...but somehow, I missed him more than the others.
Figuring I could not get to sleep, I decided to go downstairs to get something to drink. It would help clear my mind. I don't think I could wake up anyone, I'm known as the quiet one, guess that becomes a good thing in these scenarios.
I slid my legs over the side of the bed and tip toed to my door, quietly pulling the door open, I walked into the hall and tip toed passed my brother's -Kanaye- room and little sister's –Koru– room and descended down the narrow, soft carpet steps to the first floor of my, now, empty home. I frowned at this thought of my home being empty; it just brought more pain of the fact that I'd be leaving in the next few hours to never come back. I moved towards the kitchen in what seemed like a zombie-like act.
I paused at the yelling I heard from the kitchen. The voice belonged to the translator -Lanette- that will help my family on their trip and settling in. She spoke in English, so I could not understand enough to understand the conversation.
"What do you mean you didn't take care of him?!" Lanette asked angrily in English. A pause, "What do you mean you held pity for him? Have you lost your mind?" -pause- "You better do as you're told and do it soon!" -pause again, this time an alto teenage girl's voice was what I could hear. She was yelling, but in English. Lanette ranted on, "Rosalie! You better get rid of him!" Another pause, her voice had calmed down, "Don't think, just do. Good-bye." With that, the phone hung up. Lanette's footsteps came closer as she walked out of the kitchen. She stopped a few feet in front of me and jumped in surprise at my presence.
"Kisa-San," she said, "I didn't know you were here." She spoke in Japanese, but I could tell that she was hiding something.
"Ah, yes," I said trying to act clueless, "I couldn't sleep, so I came down to get a drink."
"Ah, I see. Ready for the big day?" she asked me.
I shook my head, "Never."
"I see. I have four kids of my own, three are older than you and the youngest is five, but I know how it feels. And so do my kids. They move around a lot, and the older ones don't have a father. My youngest has a father, but he calls once a year," her tone held some sympathy, "But they always look positive. They know that their lives could be much worse. Just look at the positive things. Think of this as an adventure. An adventure that you'll remember forever."
"I guess," I lied, walking into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator.
She turned back to me and smiled, "Try to get some sleep. It's going to be a long day." And she turned away.
I didn't respond, all I did was nod slightly and heard her footsteps drift away. Finally. Now I was alone. I could try to think clearly. Our fridge didn't have much in it. There were only a few drinks and small pieces of fruit. I sat on the ground (our table was gone too) and crossed my legs as I held my cup of orange juice in my left hand.
The first thought that came to my mind was the phone call Lanette was making. Why this late at night? I guess that could be answered pretty easily because she was speaking English and it was daytime in the Untied States. The time change, another thing I'll have to get used to. Oh, so annoying. But another thing bothered me about the way Lanette was on the phone. No matter what language she was speaking in, she sounded angry and annoyed at the person on the other line. For some reason, I felt sorry for the person who had to be yelled at on the other line. But I couldn't ask, that would be incredibly rude of me.
There was another thought that crossed my mind, and it has been nagging at me for the past hour. Why were Hiroki and I about to kiss? I didn't like him that way...did I? I shook my head and took a drink of my orange juice and set the glass cup on the floor as lightly as I could. Did he like me that way? He sure was acting strange...but maybe we were just being drawn closer by the wind, or maybe I was slowly fainting...I guess that sounded better than agreeing with the first idea I had.
"Kisa?" my one-year-older brother –Kanaye– called to me, as he walked into the kitchen.
I looked up at him, as I took a small sip of orange juice, "Yes?" Had I woken him up or was it Lanette's yelling?
"What are you doing?" Kanaye asked, grabbing the orange juice carton and loosening the cap, and talking a large gulp of it right from the carton.
"Can't sleep..." I answered, "Ew, gross. I was going to get more. And I know that you spit some of that back! I see you at dinner every day. Nasty."
"Good, more for me," Kanaye said, sitting across from me, leaning against a few cabinet doors.
"Why are you up?" I asked.
"Anxious," he answered, then looked at me with honest eyes, "to get out of here."
"Anxious?" I asked in surprise, "Why do you want to leave Japan so bad?! You're happy about moving?!"
"Yes, I am," he admitted, "It's a new start for us all."
"New start? How so?" I asked immensely, the anger growing within me.
"You know. Mom and Dad stopped drugs and drinking. They have been sober for a while and now they want to move to start fresh and new. Plus, they don't want to live in a devilish-based country anymore. They want to be in a Christian based country," Kanaye explained.
I twitched, "That's it? There has to be a better reason than that. They can start a new beginning here. And they have churches here. This country is not full of devilish people and horrible ways!" I was a little louder than I should have been.
"Calm down," he said to me in a whisper, "I understand your point of view, but I understand Mom and Dad's."
"What about your friends?" I asked.
"I will keep in touch and if they are true friends, they'll keep in touch," Kanaye answered as if the question had no thought in his small mind.
"I don't feel that way. I have my friends. My priorities," I said sternly.
"That's just it, Kisa-Chan," Kanaye pointed out, "You don't care about anyone but yourself."
"What?" I asked shocked.
"You only care about what you want. What about your family? Did you even care that Mom and Dad were out partying and drinking and coming home drunk at two in the morning? Did you care to smell drugs everywhere you walked? Or did you only care about your friends and your problems?" Kanaye asked in a serious tone. He eyed me furiously, just as I eyed him with a glare full of intensity.
I couldn't answer his question. I didn't know how or why. I just responded in the best way I could, which came out wrong, "Shut up! You know nothing, Fool! Back off! Go away, traitor!"
Kanaye's face went emotionless as he stood to his feet and set the empty orange juice carton on the counter and walked out of the kitchen soundlessly.
Again, I was all alone, and at ease. I sat in the kitchen for the next two hours thinking of everything over and over again. A few times, I nearly fell asleep, but caught myself thinking that the next time I wake up, I'll have to leave this place. I wanted to sit here forever and never leave, but that was impossible. Not leaving this place was like stopping the sunset...impossible.
By three in the morning, my mother walked into the kitchen with her clothes and makeup already on. She looked at me and gently smiled, but my face remained the same, stone cold face that it has been for the past few days.
My mother's name is Amane Ai. She is tall, skinny, and has curly brown hair down to the small of her back. Her eyes are muddy brown and her skin is polish with a slight Asian tint. Her eyebrows and eyelashes are very thin and same with her facial features. Small eyes, small nose, small lips, small mouth. She's just a petite person, except for the fact that she is very tall.
"Good-morning, Kisa-Chan," Ai greeted me.
I said nothing. I just turned away and stared out at the darkness of the early morning through the window above the kitchen sink as I set the cup of orange juice with a clatter into the metal sink.
"It's going to be a beautiful day in Atlanta," Ai went on.
I just stared straight ahead, listening and not answering.
"We'll get there at about nine in the morning. We'll have a whole day ahead of us," she said to me, grabbing a cup and putting some instant coffee into it.
"Good-morning!" my little six-year-old sister Amane Kumiko (Kumi) said, walking into the kitchen with a big smile on her face.
Ai turned to her and hugged Kumi, "Good-morning, Kumi-Chan."
"Kisa-Nee!" Kumi said to me. I turned around to her and hugged her and quickly stepped away. Everyone in my family was happy about leaving. I wasn't. I felt opposed to them all.
My father dragged his feet into the kitchen. His head was looking down at the ground. He was never a morning person. He has short, spiky black hair and dark brown eyes and he was very tall. He is muscular and looks to be in his mid forties. He blinked.
"Shiro-San," Ai said to my father, embracing him.
"Good-morning," Shiro said tiredly.
"Hello, papa!" Kumi said with a bright smile on her face.
Shiro's face brightened up as he looked down and hugged Kumi, "Good-Morning, Chan." When he let her free, he stood straight up and looked at me, "Morning, Kisa-Chan."
"Father..." I whispered and stomped out of the kitchen. Everyone was in such a good mood unaware of moving away from here. Who are these people?! I'm not related to them!
Still in my fuse, I didn't realize that Kanaye was running down the hall. He ran into me and literally knocked me to the ground. He gasped and pulled me to my feet as soon as I hit the ground, "Kisa?"
"What?" I asked, my forehead creasing in agitation, "You run me over and all you're going to say is 'Kisa?'"
"Uh...sorry," he apologized, "I'm a little tired."
"Then you shouldn't have gone downstairs at one in the morning," I said.
"You're not tired," Kanaye said.
"Yeah, actually, I am!" I said, throwing my hands in the air, "Extremely. I'm tired of this crap about moving and everyone be all happy about it!"
"Like it or not, we're moving," he replied.
I passed him and stomped angrily towards my room, "I'm NOT moving!" I yelled this and slammed my door as hard as I could. No one answered. My eyes closed and I shook in anger. I ran to the place where my roll out Japanese style bed laid and fell down upon it. Thump. Quickly, I opened my eyes. I wasn't on my bed. I fell on my hard carpet floor. I looked around panicked. I sat up on my knees. Nothing was in my room. Nothing. My bed was gone. My closet was empty. My alarm clock and small dresser that it once sat upon was missing. When I woke up, my room was too empty for words, but now my room looked alien to me. The only thing of mine was a pair of black pants, black ballet flats, undergarments, and a black and white Chinese designed short sleeve shirt. Ai must have laid these out for me. And Shiro must have taken the rest of my things and packed them up. Dang.
I picked up my shirt and examined its pattern broadly. In my trance, I heard light footsteps coming to my room. With a creek, my door opened and my mother stood in the doorway with a calm expression on her face, "Kisa-Chan… It's time to get dressed."
I did not ignore her, nor did I look up at her.
She drew closer and crouched down next to me, wrapping her left arm around my shoulders, "Kisa..." She said my name in such a disappointed tone, "Why are you so troubled?" -no answer- "Why are you so troubled? Be happy. We're going to leave to go to a better place. You'll love Amer—"
I shook her arm off and stared at her appalled, "Don't say it!"
"Ki—"
"Don't Kisa-Chan me! Don't say anything at all! I can't believe you and dad want to move to America! America! Of all places, why America?" I stood to my feet and looked down at my mother.
"We are going to be happy there! A happy family!" Ai said, standing to her feet, staring me straight in the eyes.
"A family I refuse to a part of!" I said, almost yelling.
"Fool!" Ai called me, "You will smile and be happy to be a part of this family."
"Watch me frown!" I said, this time yelling, grabbing my clothes, and running into the bathroom door, slamming it behind me.
I heard my mom sigh heavily and walked out of the room, shutting my bedroom door slowly behind her.
Reluctantly, I got dressed. I eyed myself in the mirror. I have chocolate brown eyes, a little tan, and shoulder length hair that is perfectly straight with bangs slanted to the left. My lips are full and my nose is small, just like the rest of me. I sighed and looked at the empty all white bathroom as I leaned against the door. My eyes were becoming moist with new tears as I slid to the ground in my own misery and despair. Without holding back, my tears began to flow down my cheeks. My eyes blurred and I buried my head in my arms. Unbelievable. For what seemed like forever, I sobbed and cried for the morning of my exile.
"Kisa-Chan?" Ai asked me at the airport coffee shop, "What do you want?"
"To go home," I whispered.
Ai turned away from me and ordered for the rest of the family, ignoring my answer. My family got their drinks and walked to the airport gate. Everyone but me sat in the chairs comfortably. I walked to the window and eyed the Japanese airliner that will take me from this place that I love to call home. I looked ahead at the jet that would take me away from my oh-so-precious memories and friends. This ground that I stand on is so important to me, but now I will never be able to touch it again because this airplane will take me away from everything.
"Group A," the flight attendant called over the loudspeaker. We were Group C. Only two groups away. Only 2.
I touched the glass that was the only barrier that kept me from this horrible carrier that would carry me away. I hoped so much that rain and thunder would prevent my departure.
"Group B."
The sun began to rise. 1 more group and all my hopes are lost. Same with my future. My future. My friends. My school. Everyone. Everything is taken away from me.
My head stared slightly below the ground and my eyes closed. I was hiding back tears.
"Group C."
Those would be the most devastating words of my life. My jaw clenched. Now I was hiding back a scream and tears. My feet were planted where they were. I felt like stone.
Ai tapped lightly on my right shoulder, "Time to board the plane."
"No," I whispered.
"Kisa," Ai begged, "Please."
I turned around and the tears were released, "Why? Why?" I was almost yelling, attracting some gazes my way.
Shiro came up by Ai's side and frowned, "Kisa."
"What?" I asked.
"Board the plane," he said, handing me my boarding pass.
I snatched it from his hand and stomped over to the flight attendant. She took it and let me pass. Ai and Shiro were right behind me. Lanette, Kumi, and Kanaye were right in front of me.
"Kisa-Chan, please, be happy," Ai told me in such a calm voice, but it didn't effect my mood.
I turned around and stared at her like she had stabbed me with the biggest, sharpest knife, "Be happy? Be happy?" I asked in a normal voice that began to crack from tears.
"It's for the best," Shiro said, wrapping his arm around his wife.
Lanette and the others stopped and stared back at us waiting in wonder.
"For the best?" I yelled, "I HATE YOU!" I turned around and glanced at my other family members and Lanette and back at my parents, "I HATE ALL OF YOU! YOU CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE!" I turned away and ran past Lanette. I boarded the plane and passed the welcoming, smiling flight attendant. I knew where my seat was. I ran to it and sat by the window in the back of the plane. By the time I sat down, I was breathing heavily with tears streaming down my face. Not many people were boarded the plane. But more came. I didn't see my family. My seat was the farthest back. What felt like an hour later, the plane was full of passengers.
"Good-Morning, everyone. Welcome to Air Japan. As always, we are glad that you have chosen our airliner today. We will be traveling to Atlanta, Georgia, United States. We will arrive there at 9A.M. eastern time..."
I pulled on my Ipod headphones quickly. I couldn't take anymore. NO MORE!
I waited for the plane to start moving, and too soon, it did. I looked at the rising sun and tears were still streaming down my face. Still. I closed my eyes. Our plane took off and I saw the ocean below me. I saw the beach that I was once at. I remember the sunset. And now I can see the sunrise from the wrong place. So much did I want to be down there on that beach with Hiroki and the others. I looked down at the water and tears dried on my face.
It's been about thirty minutes since take off. We were passing an island off the coast of where I so much wanted to be.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and rudely passed by the people who were sitting in my row. I walked to the front of the plane to the bathroom. Kanaye was standing in the isle and walking to the bathroom himself. I abruptly passed him, bumping into his shoulder, and not turning back to apologize. I didn't feel sorry.
Lanette was unbuckling her seatbelt and digging through her carry on bag.
I opened the bathroom door and shut it, as Kanaye was two feet away. Heh. Slamming it in his face was what he deserved. Honestly, I didn't need to use the bathroom; I just wanted to hide away for a while. And to add to that, I was going to make Kanaye mad.
I looked at my refection in the mirror and thought randomly. It felt like two hours that I was standing there. I could have sworn that I was dreaming. Whatever I was doing, something took me out of my thoughts or dreams because I jumped. The plane felt like it was twitching. I stabled myself and looked around. It didn't twitch again...but then once I thought that it was just a bump in the air, another twitch. This time I fell against the wall.
Faster and faster, twitches came and came. I was being shaken. The mirror shattered as I threw the door open and fell the ground. Our plane was pointing downward at a forty-five degree angle. Too much. Passengers were screaming. I was in panic. I didn't know what to do. What could I do? Lights began flickering and trays of food were falling everywhere. I tried to get to my feet, but halfway, I fell back against the wall.
I looked back up at the isle. Our plane was pointing more downward. Kanaye was flipping down the isle towards me. He was screaming just like the other passengers. I got to my feet and propped myself against the wall and looked for my family.
Ai was knocked out from the shock.
Shiro was trying to awaken her. His face was full of fear.
Kumi was crying heavily and screaming. She was shaking her mother trying to get her up.
Kanaye slid to my side and tried to stay in one place.
Then I noticed... Lanette was missing.
"What's happening?!" I asked, yelling, to my brother.
He struggled to get to his feet, "I don't know!"
A big jerk pushed me off balance and threw me against a three hundred-pound cart full of food. Plates crushed over my head and drinks drenched me.
Kanaye was leaning against a wall, still sitting, gasping.
Then I saw her. Lanette had a backpack on. She didn't eye me at all. She opened the door of the plane and jumped out as if she was a natural. Before she was out of the plane, she gave one last glance at me. She smiled so cruelly. So she planned this. This was it.
"Kanaye!" I yelled, "Grab my hand!" I had to jump out. I couldn't get the rest of my family. At least I could save one.
Another 300-pound cart flew down the isle, crushing Kanaye's legs. He screamed in pain.
I couldn't give up. Not yet. I reached for his hand but I couldn't get close enough. But I tried. I had to. I had to save him. I had to save my brother. Five cm away. 4… 3… 2…1… A sudden jerk of the plane surprised me. I was thrown away. I looked out the door. And there it was. The water. The calm water of the pacific. A plane seat flew out of the door. A man I recognized rolled down the isle. He was bleeding. His nose...his mouth. Blood. Shiro. Father. I reached for Kanaye again, but another jerk of the plane sent me out the door. I plummeted to the water of the Pacific. Before I hit the water, I saw the plane fly closer. I went under and came up. I saw the plane with all my family inside descend into the no forgiving waters of the ocean. I grabbed the plane seat and floated.
The last of the plane plummeted into the Pacific. I waited with tears flowing down my face. I waited. I waited. And waited. No one came up. No one. Gone was my family. Gone was what was with me.
I cried for so long. No one could feel the despair and sorrow I held right now. My family was taken away. Forever. This is how it ends. This is how everything is going to end for me. I am now alone. I have no one. I have no one! NO ONE! I hold dread and misery within my heart. Now I am empty. And if death is their fate? Why can't I die with them? Why?! Why did this have to happen to me!? Why my family?! My family didn't die in an accident. They were murdered. Debris began to float my way. I saw parts of the plane, but one piece caught my eye. I picked up my family's journal. Everyone wrote in this journal. It was the one thing that bonded us. I never wrote in it myself. I always thought it was stupid, but now I wanted to have written it so bad...and have people respond, but that is all lost.
I held on to the journal for dear life all day.
All was silent until a motor in the distance grew closer. Closer it came.
A small boat came up to me. Three people were aboard. Two people were dressed in suits but the other one was in a diving suit, driving the boat. They stopped the motor and ran to the side of the boat.
"You there," the woman in the suit yelled.
I looked up, but I couldn't speak. I tried to squeeze words out of my open mouth, but I couldn't. No.
"Come," the man in the suit, said, "We are here to rescue you."
I kicked towards them reluctantly. I wanted to stay in the Pacific with my family. The man in the suit pulled me up onto the small boat and wrapped me in a large white tale. As he began driving the boat back to shore, the two people dressed in suits sat on both sides of me.
"Are you okay, Miss?" the man asked.
I frowned but nodded. I sobbed.
"What is your name?" the woman asked very kindly.
"Amane Ki-Kisa," I said, cracking up from my fit.
"How old are you?" the woman asked.
"15," I said.
"Were you just on a plane?" the man asked.
"Yes," I answered, cracking up at the end.
"I know how this accident surprised you. But we are here to help," the woman said, "I am FBI Agent Hayashi Yukiko and this is Agent Matsuura Daisuke."
"Accident... murder," I replied.
"Murder?" Hayashi asked, appalled.
"Murdered. My family...everyone...murdered," I said.
