My eternal thanks to Nonasuki-chan for beta and valuable comments.


Chapter 11

I woke up. The room was dark. Only the red numbers on an alarm clock glowed. Someone breathed not so far from me and that brought me back to the reality more quickly than anything else.

I got up and left him quietly. In my room I changed from the mission gear and curled on my bed trying not to think, but without any success. The yesterday's whole encounter replayed in my mind again and again as I burrowed my face into a pillow, my hands trembling. It took me a long time to calm down. Pale light from outside slowly filled the room. When I finally got up my eyes fell upon the katana in the corner and I reached for it without thinking. With a surprisingly steady hand I drew it out, studying the red stains upon the smooth surface. It would be appropriate to end it here, with this weapon. My teammates would take care of Aya-chan. She certainly didn't need a brother like me.

I let the blade to cut the skin on my arm, watching in fascination as the scratch slowly reddened with blood. It would be so easy to do it and that pain couldn't be worse than the pain I was already in.

The memory of green eyes flashed through my mind followed by Omi's face. His words… I didn't want to think about them. It was stupid to get emotionally attached to the people like us but still... I shook my head before sheathing the blade. I had made enough mistakes and this was a cowardly and selfish way to get out of it. There were still people who would be hurt if I died.

Opening a wardrobe, I took out the T-shirt and trousers that were on the top and prepared for a day.


Yoji was late, not that I was surprised. I would be amazed if he came on time after yesterday night.

He showed up at the end of a lunch break. I was sitting at the table, sipping my tea when I heard him came down. He stopped in the doorway for a while and frowned before dismissing me and heading for coffee. He was pale and looked tired and annoyed. Hangover could be nasty.

I waited until he finished a cup and turned to me, clearly waiting for my comments.

"You shouldn't drink so much," I said quietly.

Yoji just snarled, putting the cup on the table so violently that it was a miracle it remained in one piece.

"Like you care. It's none of your business, Fujimiya, so bug off."

He turned away, intending to go to the shop and avoid one of my lectures.

"But I do," I said vehemently, before I had time to consider what I was saying. He stopped in a midway, still with his back to me, but he turned his head in my direction.

A tense silence ensued, with him waiting for me to finish and with me unsure how to continue. I struggled with myself, the mask I wore so long was hard to take down. At least I sighed, watching that stilled form in front of me. Omi was right. I caused them too much pain.

"I do care," I finished quietly, part of me reeling at the words while the rest of me felt relieved that I was able to say them.

Yoji turned to me, jade eyes wide in surprise before his expression softened.

"Aya…"

A ring interrupted him and I shifted my gaze from him to the door where stood Omi, half-covered behind the doorframe, staring at us.

"I'll take it," he waved at us furiously and disappeared.

What was he doing here so soon?

"Aya," said Yoji again and I looked at him. His eyes studied my face, searching. His expression became more serious and I had to wonder if he guessed that something had happened. He seemed to hesitate, opening his mouth to ask me …

"Aya!" Omi called from the shop.

"What?" I snapped.

"It's Manx," he said, coming to the doorway. The blue eyes were serious. "She said it's important."

I snarled and headed for the phone. Yoji's steps followed me.

I took the receiver, trying to stay calm. It was unusual for her to call in this way. "I'm here."

"Congratulations," said Manx from the other side, her voice composed without any hint of emotion. "Your sister has woken up."


She was smiling at me, her hand squeezing lightly mine. Her voice was unsure and quiet but I knew she'd be alright.

Still I couldn't smile at her.

"Ran?"

…There's no difference between you and us…

Her eyes were now filled with worry.

"Are you alright?"

"Aa," I answered, trying to look more relaxed.

Starting to lie to her already?

I stroked her hair, so soft under my hand and she turned her head into the caress.

A knock at the door before Yoji peeped inside.

"Come in," I said.

He did, holding a bunch of flowers. He must have bought it in one of the small shops nearby. He had insisted on driving me here and I had barely allowed him to grab his keys before leaving.

"Hi, Aya-chan. My name's Kudou Yoji and I'm your brother's friend," he smiled, putting the flowers on the bed.

"Nice to meet you, Kudou-san," murmured Aya, blushing a little.

"Please, call me Yoji."

He had better not be flirting with her.

The door opened again. This time Tanaka-sensei entered. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Fujimiya-san needs to rest. You can visit her tomorrow."

I nodded and kissed Aya-chan on her cheek, promising to come again tomorrow. Yoji waved and we followed the doctor out of the room.

"Please come with me to the office," he said once we were in a hall.

I nodded and followed him before realizing that Yoji hadn't moved. Looking at him, I lifted my eyebrow in a silent question.

He shrugged. "I thought that maybe I should wait here," he said casually.

I frowned. It was a long night and day and I was tired. "There is no reason you shouldn't come with me."

"Okay," he agreed easily.

The doctor waited for us before a door, brown eyes curious as he gestured to us to enter. He closed the door behind us, crossed the room and sat down behind a desk, indicating for us to take seats.

"Fujimiya-san," he said. "I'm delighted to inform you that your sister has no brain damage."

Yoji looked confused. "There were doubts about it?"

"In case of coma we can never be sure."

I hadn't allowed myself to think about this before and now I sagged with relieve. The doctor continued. "Of course, she will need physical therapy and…"

I tried to focus and listen because it was all important but it was a hard thing to do. Too many things had happened in a short time and stress and fatigue began to get me.

Finally the doctor finished and Yoji leaned back in his chair. "Well, I can say I was surprised that she wasn't confused at all, considering that she's woken up just half an hour ago."

The doctor blinked. "She woke up several hours before."

I immediately tensed, eyes fixing on his face. "And why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I asked flatly and felt that Yoji moved in his seat uneasily. The doctor now looked flustered. "We called the number we were supposed to dial in the case of emergency. They said that they would let you know."

Kritiker again.

"So when did she wake up?" Yoji asked, trying to ease the mood. The doctor looked into the folder, probably glad he had an excuse to lower his eyes.

"3:15 a.m."

A soft breath escaped my lips.

"Well, I apologize if we contacted the wrong person," he closed his paper, looking at me. "I'll take care that your number will be the first to call in the future."

Red numbers glowing in the dark.

"The first and only one if possible," said Yoji sarcastically.

That dream…

"Of course," he stood up and Yoji followed his example. I slowly got to the feet, looking blankly at the doctor without really seeing him. "If you have any questions concerning the therapy don't hesitate to ask," he told me.

…wasn't just a dream.

I nodded, trying to keep my face impassive. I couldn't let them know… There were probably cameras… We exchanged greetings and I followed Yoji out, moving on autopilot. Yoji looked at me, his lips tightened but he didn't say anything. Damn, I needed to get a grip.

In a lift I noticed that my hands beginning to shake so I clenched them into fists.

I didn't remember how I got into the car, but once inside I started to tremble uncontrollably. Yoji remained silent, his attention focused on driving. I didn't care where we were going as long as it was further from hospital.

At some point of time we had stopped. When I opened my eyes the car wasn't moving and Yoji was turned on his seat, watching me intently. I avoided his eyes and looked around. The place wasn't familiar but it didn't really matter. All what I felt was just mild relieve that I had more time before returning to the shop.

"We are going into that café," said Yoji, drawing my attention back to him. He pointed at a building in front of us, his eyes never leaving my face, lips set in a firm line. "And we are going to talk."

In that calm voice was a firm order and I stared at him before nodding. There wasn't enough energy left in me to argue with him. Besides, I had promised him this.

We got out of the car and I focused on getting my breath under control, placing the usual stoic expression upon my face.

Yoji was the first to enter the café and I closely followed him before stopping in the doorway. The room wasn't crowded but there were still too many people. My lips curved in distaste. No way was I going to talk about it in a place like that. I turned to give Yoji my opinion on this matter but he was already heading to a counter.

I glared after him before moving from the door. Even though I didn't see his face, I could imagine his expression quite clearly because a girl behind the counter blushed and smiled at him. I resisted the urge to snarl. Trust him to flirt with a girl. As I closed the distance, she slightly bowed and murmured: "If you follow me…"

Yoji smiled and nodded at me. We were showed into a small separated room with one table and a window.

Yoji thanked her and ordered coffee, chocolate and water. She left, closing the door behind her with a soft thud.

He rested his hands on the table. "The chocolate is for you," he commented. "I don't think you need coffee right now."

I just slightly snorted, focusing my attention on a busy street behind the glass. He didn't say anything else and the silence was uninterrupted until the drinks were delivered and the door closed again.

Holding the cup in my hand, I contemplated the dark liquid.

"Drink it," he ordered quietly. I was about to snap back when I noticed the underlying tension in his posture.

So I just scowled and brought the cup to my lips. It was sweet and hot and filled me with warmth. I slowly began to relax.

Yoji waited until I finished it and then pushed the water in my direction. I took it more to have something in my hand than to drink it.

"So…" He leaned back in his chair, the expression on his face uncompromising. "Start from that mission in the factory."

I talked quietly without any interruption while Yoji smoked like a chimney. My eyes began to sting but I chose to ignore it, glad that he remained silent – it was hard enough as it was. That lasted only until I got to the more recent events.

"He wanted what?!" his voice raised and I scowled at him, refusing to repeat it.

"Shit," he murmured, his hand ran over his face while the other grounded the cigarette viciously into ashtray. "That son of a bitch." Then his eyes lifted, hurt and angry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I stared back at him, trying to keep my face expressionless.

"I told you that you can trust me," he continued, voice rough. "But you didn't."

"I did," I disagreed calmly.

"Like hell you did," his fist slammed into the table suddenly, startling me. My eyes quickly shifted from his hand back to his face. We stared at each other, sounds of traffic and buzz from the other room filling the silence. His anger seemed to diminish a little, changing to cold hurt. "If you did, you would tell me," he said quietly.

I looked away, fingers clenching around the still full glass. If there was a moment when I was about to loose his friendship, this was it. A chill ran through my body as I slowly looked back. There was still part of me which thought that it would be better for him, that I didn't deserve…

"I didn't want to take you down with me," I murmured.

He stiffened in shock before his shoulders relaxed. In the next minute his arm launched forward, grabbing my T-shirt and he pulled me roughly forward, so I was half standing. "You stupid idiot," he snarled, anger back in full force. "If you have such serious problem in the future, you'll tell me or I'll kick your sorry ass."

I grumbled and freed myself from his grip. Yoji fumed, glaring at me little longer before snatching another cigarette. I secretly hoped that he would run out of them soon.

He focused on lighting it and then looked out of the window, avoiding my gaze. I decided not to tell him about my talk with Ken – no need to get the blonde angry at him as well.

"So," I said, trying hard to keep all emotion deep inside me, "I guess you know what I chose."

His eyes returned to my face, more troubled than angry, and I stilled, searching for the traces of contempt I knew he must feel for me.

"Aya," he said heavily, "what are you planning to do now that your sister is awake?"

I didn't answer him and his expression hardened again. "You don't want to jump out of a window or anything like that, do you? There was no special reason to behave the way you did today, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I frowned, feeling slightly confused. Sure, my behaviour was unusual but so were the circumstances.

"You invited me to the consultation with Tanaka-sensei," he answered, his voice harsh. "You said you actually care."

My eyes narrowed. Although I understood why he had this suspicion it still pissed me off.

"No," I growled, "I have no intention to kill myself."

The firm set of his lips softened a little as he leaned back in his chair. "Thank God," he mumbled.

He didn't react in the way he should and that mystified me. I hated that feeling.

"Don't you get it, Yoji?" I snapped before lowering my voice. "I agreed to a murder."

"That's the bastard's fault…"

"No," I cut in, all my patience left. "It was my choice. He didn't force me into it…"

"Shut up," Yoji gritted, interrupting me harshly. "First he told you that Aya-chan was dying and then…" The blond fell quiet for a while, obviously trying to regain his composure, as he rubbed his temples. "Some choices should never be made," he said finally, still frowning. "And there is no excuse for those who offered them."

Folding my arms across my chest, I gave him one of my best glares. "As there is no excuse for those who accepted them," I stated, not interested in seeking excuses.

He lowered his eyes first. Yoji wasn't stupid, he had to know that there is no way to blame all of this only on Schuldig. Maybe he was just careful not to trigger my possible suicide tendencies. I just snorted, suddenly feeling tired again. There was no point to prolong the talk.

"I didn't kill him."

"Who?" he asked, looking as weary as I felt.

"That person he'd chosen. Schuldig stopped me." I broke off, frowning as for the first time I contemplated this new fact. "And then he woke her up."

His eyes bore into mine. "How can you know that it was him?"

"I had a dream again," I found the glass in my hand fascinating suddenly. "He was there and told her to go with him. When I woke up… it was the same time she woke up."

Yoji took a deep breath and when I looked at him, his eyes were narrowed and contemplating. Suddenly he stood up, taking the package of cigarettes and the lighter from the table and placed them to his pocket. "We're leaving," he said curtly and I nodded. Fresh air would be nice.

Once outside the room, Yoji just stopped to pay, omitting even to flirt with the girl again. He didn't say anything until we reached the car. A soft touch of his hand on my arm brought me still and I looked at him questionably.

"I have those guns," he said, his voice barely a whisper but we stood close together so I heard him clearly. "But this is not a good time to bring their attention to us. You're already under suspicion."

I nodded, following absently the notion of his hand, as he raked it through his hair. "Aya don't tell anyone about those dreams, not even to Omi and Ken," he continued seriously. "And…" his voice become rough again, "stay away from that bastard. I don't know what he wants but it's nothing good. You don't owe him anything."

He turned to open car doors, his expression still tired and serious and I felt a pang of guilt which I quickly suppressed. If he wanted to get involved, it was his choice.

When we returned, the shop was closed and Omi waited for us. "Manx's here," he informed us, offering us a smile before heading to the mission room. There was something… I looked at Yoji who slightly nodded. Even though Omi seemingly behaved as usual, I got the feeling that he was disturbed by something.

I followed him, Yoji behind me, before stopping in the middle of the stairs as I spotted a stranger standing next to Manx. The man was tall, dressed in a dark trousers and dark-green shirt. Straight black hair was swept back in a ponytail, his face impassive as he observed me.

Yoji poked me in the back so I continued down the stairs, glancing around the room. Omi waited patiently while Ken didn't bother to greet us, sprawled at the chair, his eyes never leaving the stranger. At that moment he seemed to me more like the creature he had his codename after, relaxed yet dangerous, as if he was contemplating whether to kill his prey straight away of whether to play with it before. It almost made me smile.

I leaned against the wall, waiting.

"Now, Manx, would you be so kind and introduced us?" Yoji drawled, standing next to me. He also wasn't in a good mood.

"This is Brent," said Manx curtly. "He will be the mediator between you and Kritiker from now."

No one moved as we processed the new information.

"Why?" It was Omi who finally voiced the question. The kid looked displeased.

"I have work somewhere else," said Manx before moving to the door. "Good luck." She left without a backward glance and I turned to inspect the man more closely.

I met the green eyes and one thing became clear to me. I didn't like him.

To Be Continued…