Remus and Peter waked into the Muggle Studies classroom. The classroom was a large square room with white stone walls. There along the walls were Muggle artifacts behind red ropes and glass cases, as if they were the jewels of the Muggle world instead of the common things they were.

There were twelve tables that formed a large rectangle around a small circular podium. Remus and Peter took their assigned seats.

"Good morning, class," said Professor Smutt, the Muggle Studies teacher. He was a middle-aged man with a shaved head and square glasses. He wore formal Muggle clothing.

"Today we will be learning about Muggle fine arts," stated Professor Smutt unexcitedly. "You will be sketching one of your classmates, so I will need a volunteer."

"I will!" said Sirius, always loving the chance to be the center of attention, and heading towards the podium.

"Okay…" said Professor Smutt, a little taken aback.

Sirius reached the podium and pulled off his school robes and started taking off his shirt. Some of the girls in the room started to giggle.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black," said Professor Smutt, "why are you taking off your clothes?"

"Because all good sketches are that of naked people!" said Sirius with a dash of indignation.

"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Black, but you are required to wear at least three articles of clothing."

Sirius snorted. "Horrible day to go commando…"

Peter let out a cry of laughter. Sirius grumbled to himself as he finished taking off his shirt and sat up on a stool on the podium.

Remus grabbed a piece of paper and started to sketch his best mate. In spite of himself, Remus thought Sirius looked quite good. Naturally, everyone thought that Sirius was good-looking. He was.

"Merlin," said the blonde bimbo sitting next to Remus, "Sirius is so sexy! I wish he would ask me out!"

"I know," whined the second bimbo, who was sitting next to the first. "I really think that he might like you, he keeps looking over here!"

Remus looked up to see Sirius giving him a mischievous smile. The bimbos kept up their chattering.

"Oh, and his friend James…he is so like athletic and famous and sexy…you know…" said Bimbo 1.

"Yeah, I would totally like do him…he is, like, so popular and nice,…God, he's so sexy!" said Bimbo 2.

Remus laughed into his paper, without trying to hide it.

Bimbo 1 whipped her head around. "What are you laughing at?"

"You," said Remus, still chuckling to himself.

She sighed. "You are such a freak!"

"Yeah," said Bimbo 2, shaking her head in agreement as if Remus were to turn into a six-armed hermaphrodite.

Remus went back to drawing Sirius's glorious body, regretting that he had now captured their negative attention.

"God…you are like so freaky weird," said Bimbo 1 looking at Remus.

"Yeah," chimed in Bimbo 2. "I bet you don't even know who James and Sirius Black are!"

"Okay…" said Remus, agitatedly. "I do know James Potter and Sirius Black, they are my friends. Also, when you said 'James and Sirius Black,' it seemed as if you were referring to them as a married couple in which James is the woman! Which, obviously, is false; for if the two ever were to elope, Sirius would be in the dress!"

"No, you don't!" said Bimbo 2.

"Correct your grammar or know James and Sirius?" questioned Remus, now smiling at his verbal victory.

SMIRK!

"Know James and Sirius…" said Bimbo 2, in a voice that Remus assumed was supposed to sound patronizing, but in all reality didn't.

"Yes, I do," said Remus as he started to shade his sketch.

"How?" demanded Bimbo 1.

Remus grabbed ferociously at the Gryffindor prefects badge on his chest and flushed them with it.

"So…you're a prefect. Big deal." said Bimbo 2.

"No," said Remus, recognizing his own chance to be patronizing. "The point I was trying to make is that I am a Gryffindor!"

"And…?" said Bimbo 1, obviously frustrated.

"I am in the same house as them," Remus said, taking the sentence one word at a time and hoping that they would understand.

"So," said Bimbo 2.

"We share a dorm, talk, hang out, you know. That kind of thing," said Remus, who desperately wanted to get back to his sketch in peace.

"Oh. My. GOD!" said Bimbo 1 excitedly. "So you get to, like, see them naked in the showers and stuff?"

"Yeah!" said Bimbo 2.

All that had happened that morning came swooshing back into Remus's mind. His tongue felt too large for his mouth and suddenly he felt as if he needed to puke.

"No…" he mumbled.

Both Bimbos' faces fell sadly and they went back to their work.

Rita Skeeter, a 7th year Hufflepuff, was in the class washing out paint brushes, organizing Muggle magazines, and other odd jobs for Professor Smutt. Bimbo 1 looked over at Remus's paper. "Ewww! You like black?!" She screeched.

Rita Skeeter's ears perked up and she turned to watch the conversation.

"Yeah," said Remus, "I think Black is mysterious and beautiful."

"I just think that's weird." said one of the Bimbos. Remus was too annoyed to look up to see which fake girl the fake voice came from.

"What's wrong with Black?" asked Remus, who's voice was now laced carefully with indignation.

"Bimbo 1 opened her mouth to let another dim-witted remark out, but was harshly interrupted by Rita.

"Well, that would make you a queer, darling, and there is nothing that the British public, both Muggle and magical, dislike more than queers." Rita said matter-of-factly.

"What?" said Remus who was utterly confused.

"You don't have to hide it, umm,…what's your name?" Rita asked.

"It's Remus…" the boy replied.

"Well," said Rita continuing, "you don't have to hide it, Remus, because it is okay with me that you're a little too happy around Black."

"What are you talking about?" said Remus, still confused.

This had, unfortunately, caught Sirius's attention.

"She's talking about our super freakishly gay relationship, you little butt-buddy!" said Sirius's voice.

"What?!" asked Remus, who was panicking severely.

Rita's face had lit up with having found some good gossip whilst the rest of the class laughed out loud at Remus's misfortune, while some looked nervous.

Remus was petrified. Sirius's eyes were laughing at him.

"Sheesh, you don't have to be so prude, Burly Bear!" came Sirius's sing-song voice, which suddenly was slightly French sounding. He had pushed himself off the stool and started to head towards Remus.

"Fuck," mumbled Remus to no one in particular.

By this point, everyone in the class was staring in his direction, even Professor Smutt sat calmly watching them. Sirius pranced over towards Remus and placed his hands down onto his table. Sirius was so close that Remus could feel his warm, sweet-smelling breath on his face.

"I've gotta tell you a secret," whispered Sirius, although Sirius's whisper was not much quieter than his regular voice.

"What is…" Remus's voice was cut off by Sirius's mouth. Sirius had pulled Remus into him in a forceful kiss. Remus started to sink into the kiss. Then, he suddenly remembered, they weren't alone in the Shack. They were in the Muggle Studies classroom, with many other students (and one teacher) there watching them. Remus jerked back, his breathing slightly hurried. Sirius just smirked that lovely smirk of his.

Peter let out a rather nervous laugh, while James and nearly everyone else in the class looked electrically flabbergasted.

Remus felt lower than dirt as the bell rang, and he quickly gathered his things and left the classroom alone. He did not want to hear Sirius's attempts at apology.