Disclaimer: The Host belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: A good portion of the dialogue is from the book, pages 288 – 361. Thank you to Midnight Sapphire Eyes, ChampionShoes, lil pink pixie, melissaturkey, Malin.Eclipse, Jess, amethyst-dreams27, ashley-anne-cullen and Maxegirl1313 for all of your reviews! They are much appreciated. And please review! I love knowing what people think when they are reading my stuff, even if it something like 'I hate your face and I hope you never write again!'
Four
I guess I should have realized that my feelings for Wanda weren't exactly just platonic when I tried to protect her from Jared. He had every right to want to talk to her and yet I did not want to let him. And the idea of letting him hurt her any more than he already had made me want to hurt him. And I was a little upset with Wanda too. She still looked at Jared like she thought the sun rose and fell out of his ass even after all he had done to her.
I had gone down to the storage area with her so I could sleep and watch her at the same time. My over-protectiveness should have tipped me off but I guess I was too occupied making sure she lived through the day. We had barely been down there for five minutes when I noticed a pale blue light coming around the corner. It felt like my stomach had dropped down to my knees. So this was it, they were coming for her now. I would have to take on my brother and/or one of my good friends to protect her. It didn't feel right, fighting with them, but I would do it because it was the right thing to do. I could only hope I could divert them somehow, maybe make them think she was in another part of the caves until I was able to get Jeb and his rifle. I told her to wait in the darkness while I went to talk to them.
I walked toward the light until I saw who it was. "Jared?" I said, pretending to be surprised. I had hoped it wouldn't be him. It would be difficult to win a fight against Jared.
"I know it's with you." He raised his voice and said mockingly, "Come out, come out, wherever you are."
And she walked towards us. I couldn't believe she could walk so willingly towards her death, with that strange expression of love on her face. The way my stomach twisted at that should have made me see that I liked her, but I was too angry with her at that moment. How could she do this to Jamie? To everyone else that had proven how much they cared about her last night? How could she do this to me? If she died now, it wouldn't make anything easier. It would just create a rift in the society here, one that I was sure we would never be able to overcome. My muscles tensed up and I was ready to fight him if he tried anything.
He sat down on one of the mats and looked at me with a weary expression. "At ease. I just want to talk to it. I promised the kid, and I'll stand by that promise."
"Where's Kyle?" I asked. Kyle had made no promises, and Jared might have thought of using him as some kind of loophole.
"Snoring. Your cave might shake apart from the vibrations." I didn't believe a word he said. "I'm not lying, Ian. And I'm not going to kill it. Jeb is right. No matter how messed up this stupid situation is, Jamie has as much say as I do, and he's been totally suckered, so I doubt he'll be giving me the go-ahead anytime soon."
"No one's been suckered," I said. How could he think so little of her? It was easy to see how much she cared about Jamie, it was written all over her face. Just like it was easy to see that she cared about him, for whatever stupid reason, and how scared she was right now by the way she trembled as she hugged the far wall.
"It's not in any danger from me, is my point." Then he looked at her and said, "I won't hurt you again."
She took a small step forward. I couldn't tell if this was some kind of ploy, if he was playing on her obvious feelings for him just so he could get close enough to get rid of her. "You don't have to talk to him, Wanda," I said. She had to know that this, getting hurt by Jared, was not the only option. "This isn't a duty or a chore to be done. It's not mandatory. You have a choice."
Jared looked confused at my words, like he didn't understand how anyone could care about her. It only made me want to hit him more.
"No," she whispered. "I'll talk to him." Jared raised his hand at her words and gestured for her to come closer, and she actually walked towards him. It was like watching a gazelle walk willingly into a lion's den. I stayed close to her; I couldn't let her walk into this alone.
"I'd like to talk to it alone, if you don't mind," he said.
How stupid did he think I was? "I do mind," I said.
"No, Ian, it's okay," she said. "Go get some sleep. I'll be fine." She nudged my arm like she was trying to push me out of the hallway. Was she really that eager for death?
I had to make sure this wasn't some kind of self-sacrificing act to make things easier for Jamie. "This isn't some death wish? Sparing the kid?"
"No. Jared wouldn't lie to Jamie about this." But how could she be so sure of that? "Please, Ian," she pleaded. "I want to talk to him."
I looked at her a long moment, trying to decide if I was going to let her go through with it. I realized that I couldn't stop her, she really honestly wanted to talk to him. I turned to Jared and said, "Her name is Wanda, not it. You will not touch her. Any mark you leave on her, I will double on your worthless hide." Then I turned abruptly and stalked down the hallway. I was so angry that I wanted to hit something, preferably Jared, but I couldn't because I knew that it would upset Wanda. I was almost as worried as the kid was about if Wanda would make it out of this encounter alive, but I couldn't sit at the end of the hallway with him. It would be just a little undignified. Besides, I could barely keep my eyes open, so I went to the room I shared with Kyle and hoped that Wanda would still be alive when I woke up.
And I really should have noticed it when she spent all of her time comforting Walter in the hospital wing. I was struck once again by how selfless she truly was. She didn't seem to care how uncomfortable she was, how little sleep she got, as long as Walter could be happy in his last few days. She sat through his awful last few hours, even while my idiot brother and Brandt tried to tie her up because of the Seeker in black. And that was all Wanda. It was getting a lot easier to differentiate between her and Melanie now. It made sense for Wanda to love Jamie and Jared because Melanie had loved them. Those emotions hadn't been erased when Wanda had been inserted into her, especially since Melanie was still inside there. But Walter had been only Wanda's friend, he had no ties to Melanie. And she had been willing to sit through his screams of pain, ones that no one else could sit through, even though she hardly knew him. She truly was an amazing creature. And the fact that some people in the caves had been angry with Doc for letting her sit with him made me sick to my stomach.
But I didn't really get it until I heard her yelling the morning of Walter's death. I had suspected that Kyle would try something soon. He had been severely disappointed when he realized that Jared would uphold his promise to Jamie and the Seeker in black showing up in the helicopter had only set him over the edge. He had given me this weird speech the night before about how hard it was to do what was right, even if some people would hold it against him. I knew he wasn't just talking out of his ass but I hadn't expected him to act so soon. But when I heard her cries for help, it felt like my stomach was full of lead. It was at that moment that I realized that I didn't want her to die because I liked her. A world without Wanda would be terribly dark. And it didn't matter if she didn't feel the same way, I would take on anyone that threatened her, even my brother. I ran to Jeb, told him my suspicions and grabbed his gun before he could say anything. And then I ran as fast as I could to the river rooms.
"Wanda!" I called. "Where are you?" I jumped into the room, ready to hold the gun on my brother but I wasn't ready for what I saw. The floor was broken near one of the steaming hot rivers and Kyle was falling down into it. Wanda had her arms under his shoulders, trying to pull him up out of the hole. But she couldn't hold him for much longer, he was so much heavier than she was. I threw the gun down near the doorway and walked towards them.
"Get down," she warned. "Disperse your weight!"
I dropped to all fours and hurried over to her. "Don't let go," I said. My brother may be an idiot, and I might have been on the verge of killing him myself just a few seconds ago, but I wasn't ready for him to die. Not like this. She groaned in pain and I saw that she was losing her grip. I tried to figure out the best way to get him out of there. It would be difficult, there was a pillar obstructing a good portion of the hole. I slid behind her and grabbed onto my brother's arms. "One, two, three," I grunted as I pulled him securely against the rock. Unfortunately, this smashed her face into the pillar. "I'm going to pull him to this side. Can you squeeze out?"
"I'll try," she said, letting go of him. She slid out slowly, careful not to put herself on the unsteady rock. Once she was gone, I was able to pull Kyle out of the hole and drag him across the floor, little by little. It took every ounce of strength that I had. By the time I had dragged him over to the doorway, I was panting from the exertion.
"What… the hell… happened?" I asked in between gasps for breath.
"Our weight… was too… much. Floor caved in," she said. She was exhausted from the effort of saving him too.
"What were you doing… by the edge? With Kyle?" There was no way he would go near her willingly, unless, of course, he was killing her. She put her head down and ignored my question. "Wanda?"
"Nothing," she lied.
He had tried to kill her. He must have. "You're a rotten liar. You know that, right?" She refused to answer me and kept staring at the ground. "What did he do?" I demanded.
"Nothing." She was lying again.
I put my hand under her chin and pulled her head up so I could see her face. It looked like she had smeared blood all over her head. "Your nose is bleeding." I moved her head to the side. "And there's more blood in your hair."
"I – hit my head when the floor fell."
"On both sides?" I asked. She just shrugged in response. He had tried to kill her and she was lying for him. This was beyond insane. What was she thinking? Why wouldn't she just tell me the truth?
"We should get Kyle to Doc – he really cracked his head when he went down."
"Why are you protecting him? He tried to kill you." But I still couldn't figure out why they were so close to the river… Holy crap. "He was going to throw you into the river…" I couldn't believe it. The fact that I was actually related to him made me want to puke. I shoved him away from me and pulled her in for a tight hug. It felt so right, holding her in my arms like that, but I was too angry to care at that moment. "I should roll him right back in there and kick him over the edge myself."
I could feel her shaking her head rather than see it. "No."
"Saves time," I said. "Jeb made the rules clear. You try to hurt someone here, there are penalties. There'll be a tribunal."
She tried to pull away from me but I held on harder. I wouldn't let her go now, now that I knew that she was alive and safe. "No," she said. "You can't do that, because no one broke the rules. The floor collapsed, that's all."
"Wanda –" I wanted to tell her that she shouldn't protect him, he would only try to do it again. But she interrupted me.
"He's your brother." Like I really wanted to be reminded of that fact.
"He knew what he was doing. He's my brother, yes, but he did what he did, and you are…" Quickly becoming the one person I can't live without. But I couldn't tell her that, not yet. "You are… my friend."
"He did nothing. He is human," she whispered. "This is his place, not mine."
"We're not having this discussion again. Your definition of human is not the same as mine. To you, it means something… negative. To me, it's a compliment – and by my definition, you are and he isn't. Not after this."
"Human isn't a negative to me. I know you now. But Ian, he's your brother." I really wished she would stop bringing that up.
"A fact that shames me." She pushed away from me again and let out a groan of pain. "Are you okay?" I said, pulling back so I could look at her.
"I think so. We need to find Doc, but I don't know if I can walk. I – I hit my leg, when I fell."
I was going to kill him myself if I had to. "Which leg? Let me see."
She straightened out her right leg and I started at the ankle. I couldn't really see any bruises, but it might not have had time to swell up yet. "Higher," she said. "Here." She grabbed my hand and pulled it up to the back of her thigh, right above her knee. It was already a sickly yellow color. "It's not broken or anything, I don't think. Just really sore."
"Deep muscle bruise, at least," I said softly, gently pressing against it. She groaned again. "And how did this happen?"
"Must have… landed on a rock when I fell."
I sighed in annoyance. I couldn't see the point in lying now, it's not like I was stupid enough to believe her. And anyways, I had already figured out what had happened. "Okay, let's get you to Doc."
"Kyle needs him more than I do."
Kyle could most definitely wait. I was more concerned with her right now. "I have to go find Doc anyway – or some help. I can't carry Kyle that far, but I can certainly carry you." Then I remembered that I had left the gun in the river room. It wouldn't be very prudent to leave it here with Kyle, or anyone else who might be compelled to finish the job for him. "Oops – hold on," I said as I ran back in there to get it. She frowned when I came back with the gun. "Let's go." I gave it to her so I could carry her and she just held it in her open hands. I laughed, "How anyone could be afraid of you…"
I picked her up gently, not wanting to hurt her anymore than she already was. "How'd your clothes get so wet?" I asked, although I was sure she was only going to lie again.
"I don't know," she muttered. "Steam."
"You're missing a shoe."
"Oh."
He must have gotten closer than I had originally thought. I might never know what really happened in that room, but it was a good thing that Kyle had not succeeded. I stared at her intently as we passed under a beam of light. "I'm… very glad that you weren't hurt, Wanda. Hurt worse, I should say."
Jeb found us soon after that. "You were right then," he said, his jaw tightening as he looked her over. "I didn't hear a shot. Kyle?"
"He's unconscious," she said. "You need to warn everyone – part of the floor collapsed in the river room. I don't know how stable it is now. Kyle hit his head really hard trying to get out of the way. He needs Doc."
Jeb raised an eyebrow at this. He was as curious as I was as to what had actually happened in there. "That's the story," I said doubtfully. "And she's apparently sticking to it."
He actually laughed at that, although I didn't find it funny at all. She shouldn't try to save Kyle's miserable life, he definitely didn't deserve it. "Let take that off your hands," he said, grabbing the gun. He laughed again at the disgusted expression on her face as she eyed the gun. "I'll get Andy and Brandt to help me with Kyle. We'll follow behind you."
"Keep a close eye on him when he wakes up," I said. He would be disappointed that he had failed and, if he wasn't injured that badly, he would only try again.
"Can do," Jeb said, walking off to look for help in carrying Kyle.
"Kyle could be really hurt," Wanda said softly. "Jeb should hurry." How could she be worried about him when he had just nearly succeeded in killing her?
"Kyle's head is harder than any rock in this place." I walked slower than normal down the tunnel. Honestly, I didn't want to put her down at the moment. Having her in my arms felt… nice. It was like I was suddenly aware of every nerve ending in my body. And I knew without a doubt that as long as she stayed in my arms, she would be alive and safe. I didn't want to lose that feeling now that I had almost lost her.
Jared and Doc were in the hospital wing when we got there. Their eyes widened when I walked into the room with Wanda in my arms and placed her on the cot next to Walter, who was surprisingly quiet. Jared must have been able to find some painkillers then. I straightened her injured leg out carefully as Doc made his way over to her. "What now?" he asked, sounding pretty angry.
"Kyle," I said simply.
"The floor –" she said at the same time.
I rolled my eyes and sighed in annoyance. I really wished she would just stop that already. No one was ever going to believe her, she was such a bad liar. "The floor crumbled by the first river hole. Kyle fell back and cracked his head on a rock. Wanda saved his worthless life. She says she fell, too, when the floor gave." I looked at Doc, trying to communicate wordlessly that Kyle had been trying to end her life. "Something bashed the back of her head pretty good. Her nose is bleeding but not broken, I don't think. She's got some damage to the muscle here." I pointed to her thigh, which was now turning a nasty black and blue. "Knees sliced up pretty good, got her face again, but I think maybe I did that, trying to pull Kyle out of the hole." And then I muttered, "Shouldn't have bothered."
"Anything else?" Doc asked. He touched her side and she gasped in pain. I couldn't stop myself from cursing under my breath when he lifted her shirt and revealed another large quickly forming bruise.
I was going to kill him in the most slow and painful way that I could think of. "Let me guess," I said, my voice was low and dangerous. "You fell on a rock."
"Good guess," she said, trying to hold in her whimpers of pain.
"Might have broken a rib, not sure," Doc murmured. "I wish I could give you something for the pain –" Why couldn't he? I'm sure Walter wouldn't mind if Doc gave a little bit to Wanda, at least so she wouldn't feel it while he set the bones and bandaged her up.
"Don't worry about that, Doc," she said, being as selfless as usual. "I'm okay. How's Walter? Did he wake up at all?"
"No, it will take some time to sleep that dose off," he said. He took her wrist and started to bend it, making sure that she didn't have any other hidden injuries. Knowing Wanda, she wouldn't point them out until they fully incapacitated her.
"I'm okay," she said. I rolled my eyes at her again. She was definitely not okay.
"You will be," Doc said softly. "You'll just have to rest for a while. I'll keep an eye on you. Here, turn your head."
I could hear footsteps and I knew that Jeb had finally found enough people to help him carry Kyle. "Not here," I muttered. Jared looked at me in confusion. "They're bringing Kyle. I'm not having them in the same room." Actually, I didn't think I could be in the same room as my brother right now. I was so outraged with him that I might not be able to stop myself from hurting him as much as he hurt Wanda.
"Probably wise," Doc said in agreement.
"I'll get a place ready for her. I'll need you to keep Kyle here until… until we decide what to do with him." She opened her mouth to say something, probably to defend her would-be killer, and I placed my fingers on her lips to silence her. I didn't want to hear it anymore.
"All right," Doc said. "I'll tie him down, if you want."
"If we have to. Is it okay to move her?" I asked. I didn't want to hurt her more in my quest to protect her.
"No," she whispered, her lips moving against my fingertips. It felt like she was setting them on fire. But it was wrong to feel that way now and I pulled my hand away quickly. "Walter. I want to be here for Walter."
Even now, she was willing to forgo her pain and safety to be there for her friend. It felt wrong to deny her this but I couldn't let her stay in here with my brother. He didn't deserve to be in her presence. "You've saved all the lives you can save today, Wanda," I said gently.
"I want to say… to say good – goodbye." She sounded so upset. It was reasonable request so I nodded.
Then I realized that Jared was still in the room. I didn't think he would hurt her but I had to be sure. I wouldn't let her live through anything remotely like this morning again. "Can I trust you?" His face flushed with anger and I held my hand up to stop him from shouting at me. "I don't want to leave her unprotected while I find her a safe place. I don't know if Kyle will be conscious when he arrives. If Jeb shoots him, it will upset her. But you and Doc should be able to handle him. I don't want Doc to be on his own, and force Jeb's hand."
"Doc won't be on his own," Jared said through clenched teeth.
I still didn't entirely trust him, though. He had made it clear that he thought life would be better without Wanda around and Kyle would be able to get rid of her without him having to break his promise to Jamie. Wanda wouldn't like it if Jeb had to pull the gun on Jared, as well. "She's been through hell in the past couple of days. Remember that."
He nodded, his jaw still clenched in anger.
"I'll be here," Doc said softly.
I looked Doc in the eye and I knew that he was willing to step in between Wanda and Kyle… or Jared, if it came to that. "Okay." I turned to Wanda then and said, "I'll be back soon. Don't be afraid."
"I'm not."
I didn't quite believe her. I leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead. I heard someone gasp but I didn't pay them any attention. This was only for Wanda. I had to let her know that there were people here who honestly cared for her and this was the only way I could think of doing it. I almost laughed at her shocked expression when I turned and ran out of the room. I knew that the best place for Wanda to stay would be either in Jeb's room or mine and since I was feeling a little selfish, I decided she should stay with me. And I definitely did not want to share a room with Kyle anymore, not after today. I still couldn't believe that he would actually attack her like that. I was determined to get his stuff out of there right now because the longer I thought about him, the more I wanted to kill him.
Jamie ran up to me in the hallway outside our rooms. "What happened?" he asked, sounding more than a little worried. "Is Wanda okay?"
I really did not want to be the one to break the news to him. "She'll be fine, kid," I said.
"What happened to her?" he asked again.
I stopped. "Kyle got to her this morning, in the river rooms. But she's fine," I said quickly, noticing the pained look on his face. "It backfired on him."
He turned and started to run off to the hospital wing. I grabbed the back of his shirt to stop him. It wouldn't be a good idea for him to go down there right now. Who knew if Kyle was conscious, and how he was behaving if he was? "Come on," I said. "Help me get Kyle's stuff out of my room."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because Wanda's going to stay in my room until Kyle is dealt with," I said, trying not to let my anger show in my voice. I didn't want the kid to know that I was very close to murdering my own brother at the moment. We cleared his side of the room pretty quickly and ended up bringing all of his stuff to Brandt's room, although I was perfectly fine with throwing it in the river. I tried to make Jamie go to class after that so I could go back down to the hospital wing without him but he refused to do anything until he saw her. Finally, I decided to just go down there with him because I was just as worried about her as he was. By the time we got there, Wanda had been knocked out by the pain medication that Doc had given her and Walter was dead. It was a blow to us all. Walter was a good man and it was hard knowing that he died in so much pain. We decided it would be best to bury him outside beneath a pile of boulders. It was a little unnerving, spending any amount of time out in the desert. We all felt vulnerable out there, especially since everyone in the caves wanted to be there to say goodbye, even Wanda.
I was upset by the fact that people were actually objecting to her being there. She had done so much for Walter, had sat with him through his excruciating last hours when no one else would have gone down there, and they still felt like she shouldn't have been there. I was so disgusted with almost everyone that, if I had had a safe place to go, I probably would have taken Wanda and left. They made us keep her unconscious and blindfolded while we took her outside. And even then, they tried to hurry the funeral up so that Wanda wouldn't be able to pay her respects. I couldn't believe that they would disrespect Walter's memory and his wishes like that. In the end, Wanda woke up in time to say goodbye but we had to put her under in order to bring her back in the caves. She didn't like the morphine, said it made her sick, and I felt awful making Doc give it to her.
I stayed up practically the whole night, watching her. It might have been a little creepy, I guess, but I couldn't stop looking at her now. It was strange, knowing that I was falling in love with her, harder and faster than I had ever fallen before, and knowing that I had almost lost her. And technically, she wasn't even human! What did the fact that I was falling for an alien say about me? But the truth was that she was exactly the kind of person that I had always wanted to be with. She was kind, selfless, and so caring that she would go out of her way even for those who thought she was better off dead. But there were so many complications here… I had a feeling that while Wanda might welcome my advances, Melanie wouldn't. And I'm sure Wanda would be willing to give up any happiness that she might have with me if Melanie asked her to. Jared would be a problem too. Although he had a hard time even being civil to Wanda, he would always feel like he had a claim on Melanie's body. I felt like I had just stepped into some kind of really messed up soap opera.
She was unconscious for a while and I was relieved when she finally started to wake up. "Finally," I muttered. "Hungry?" She made a gagging noise and I remembered how she had said that morphine made Melanie sick. "Oh. Never mind. Sorry. Again. We had to do it. People got all… paranoid when we took you outside."
"S'okay," she said, sighing. Of course she wouldn't hold it against me, or even the people who hadn't wanted her out there, although I kind of wished that she would.
"Want some water?" I asked.
"No." She opened her eyes finally and stared up at the ceiling, probably noticing that she was in a different room than usual. "Where am I?"
"Your room," I said. It was her room now. I was willing to give it up if she didn't want me there. She started searching for something in the dark, I don't know what, but when she touched my hand I grabbed onto her and didn't let go.
"Whose room is it really?" Of course, she would pick up on the fact that we hadn't exactly had any spare rooms before.
"Yours."
"Ian…"
"It used to be ours – Kyle's and mine. Kyle's being held in the hospital wing until things can be decided. I can move in with Wes."
"I'm not taking your room." I grinned. She had just inadvertently admitted that she wanted to room with me. "And what do you mean, until things can be decided?"
I had to hold in a sigh. I didn't really want her to go to the tribunal, she would only try to lie so that he could get off punishment-free for what he had done. "I told you there would be a tribunal." Kyle had to pay for what he did, he just had to.
"When?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because if you're going through with that, then I have to be there. To explain."
"To lie."
"When?" she said, avoiding my accusation by repeating her question.
"First light. I won't take you."
"Then I'll take myself. I know I'll be able to walk as soon as my head stops spinning."
She wouldn't be able to walk, of course. The muscle in her leg was pretty badly bruised and she would never make it on her own. "You would, wouldn't you?"
"Yes. It's not fair if you don't let me speak." Of course she would be concerned with fairness now, instead of when it really mattered. Kyle wasn't being fair when he tried to throw her in the river. Sharon and Maggie weren't being fair when they tried to keep her away from Walter's funeral. Why couldn't she be worried about fairness when it wasn't being applied to her?
I sighed and stood up, stretching out my sore muscles. It felt like I had been sitting in that one position for hours. "I'll be back soon. You might not be hungry, but I'm starving."
"You had a long night," she said.
"Yes."
"If it gets light, I won't sit here waiting for you."
I laughed, although it wasn't really all that funny. "I'm sure that's true. So I'll be back before that, and I will help you get where you're going." It was kind of funny how she could make me do anything she wanted, even when I didn't want to at all. I guess it was a good thing for me that she would never take full advantage of that. I hurried down to the kitchen to get some food for the both of us, I knew she would be hungry once the nausea went away, and ignored anyone that tried to talk to me. I didn't really have the time since I had to make sure Wanda was down at the rec room before the tribunal started or else she would most likely hurt herself trying to get down there. I couldn't help but notice the way that Jared was glaring at me. He didn't like that she was staying with me, especially now that he suspected the way I felt about her. I'm surprised he hadn't tried to talk to me about it yet.
When I got back, I asked, "Feeling any better?"
"I think so," she said. "I haven't moved my head yet."
"Do you think it's you reacting to the morphine, or Melanie's body?" I asked curiously.
"It's Mel. She reacts badly to most painkillers. She found that out when she broke her wrist ten years ago."
"It's… odd. Dealing with two people at once." It was something I would have to think about before I acted on my feelings. Melanie was still in there and I'm sure she still loved Jared. And it was Wanda that I cared about. It would have caused a lot less problems if she had been inside someone else's body, someone that wasn't still there. But I felt guilty for wishing for that.
"Odd," she agreed.
"Are you hungry yet?" I asked.
She smiled at me and I had to catch my breath. This was getting a little out of hand. "I thought I smelled bread," she said. "Yes, I think my stomach is past the worst."
I smiled back at her. "I was hoping you'd say that."
I sat down next to her on the mattress and felt for her head. When I found it, I pulled her fingers open and shoved a piece of bread in it. "Help me up?" she asked. I put my arm around her and pulled her into a sitting position. I kept my arm around her, holding her up so she could eat. "Thanks," she said, a little breathless from the pain she must be feeling now. Her ribs were badly bruised, if not broken. She touched the bandage on her side. "Are my ribs broken, then?"
"Doc's not sure. He's doing as much as he can." He hated that he couldn't do more.
"He tries so hard," she said.
"He does."
"I feel bad… that I used to not like him," she said.
She sounded like she was admitting to murder and I had to laugh at that. "Of course you didn't. I'm amazed that you can like any of us." I knew that I wouldn't be able to be as forgiving as she was if I were in her position.
"You've got that turned around," she muttered. I couldn't believe she could be so self-deprecating. Couldn't she see how amazing she was?
She took one bite of the roll and then set it back down. "Not very appetizing, I know," I said, wanting to change the subject. I couldn't listen to her put herself down anymore.
"Just testing – to see if the nausea's really passed," she said.
I smiled at that. I had grabbed a bag of Cheetos from the kitchen for her. She deserved something special after what she had been through the past few days. "Maybe something more appealing…" I said, pulling them out and opening the bag for her.
She smelled the processed cheese right away. "Cheetos! Really? For me?" I lifted one to her mouth and she ate it quickly. "I've been dreaming about this," she said, sighing dreamily. I had to laugh at her reaction. It was about time she was selfish about something, even if it was just Cheetos. "Thank you," she said. "For more than the Cheetos, you know. For so much."
"You're more than welcome, Wanda," I said, trying to convey exactly how welcome she was with those few words. She stared at me curiously, as if she had picked up on what I was trying to do but didn't know exactly what I meant. And then she noticed that it was getting lighter. I sighed. "Are you sure you have to do this?" I asked. She nodded and I knew I would have to bring her to the tribunal. She would go down there no matter what, because that's what she thought was right. She couldn't bear the thought of someone dying in her name and she would do anything she could to stop it, even if it meant crawling down there on broken glass. And I guess that was part of the reason why I was falling for her, because she would rather watch her attacker go free than cause a rift between the people she cared about.
