Disclaimer: I don't own.

Author's Note: I meant to have this chapter done by Tuesday, but real life got in the way. Grrr. Anyway, the next few chapters are build up, and then there will be something dramatic. Then another something dramatic. Then maybe another something dramatic. Hee hee. I can promise drama. Hopefully enjoyable drama. :) Thank you SO much for the reviews!! You guys are great! Very great!

Warning: Language.

For Her Sake

Chapter 3 – Painful Things

Never Told Him

January 6, 1980

Jackie sat on her couch and stared at the small picture she held, one out of a photo strip. The three others were gone; she'd ripped them to shreds a few months back. But this one, she'd kept, because in it, Steven's fingertips were on her jaw. His glasses were off and he was looking up at her, since she sat on his lap, like he loved her. How she'd coaxed him into looking at her that way just in time for the picture she didn't remember, but she remembered how she'd felt when she saw the picture. A soft sigh depressed her chest. There was such sweetness in Steven, buried beneath layer after layer of glacial ice.

Maybe it was better that way. Maybe his sweetness just wasn't meant to be fully given to anyone. He certainly thought so.

The door opened, and she tossed the picture back into the Steven box on the coffee table. Fez walked in, looking rather frazzled, and she raised an eyebrow. "Where've you been?"

Fez's eyes wandered the apartment. "I…uh…well, I went out with Kelso and Hyde. They, uh…they wanted to show me something. Something not here. Something at the water tower." He grinned. "You know how fond we all are of the water tower!"

She stared at her boyfriend with trained eyes; being with Michael had taught her well to spot a lie. She spotted one now, but, with soreness in the pit of her stomach, shook her head and tried to bury it. "Well, whatever." Her eyebrow arched. "Did you get me my flowers?"

Fez smiled and shuffled his feet. "Uh, well, you see…" He held up a finger. "I will go get them right now."

Jackie nodded. "Fine, but first I want to show you something." He looked at her curiously, and she stood up. "This is my Steven box. I kept all sorts of things from our relationship in it." She was rather startled when Fez didn't appear to react except for a curious glance at the box. She shifted and cleared her throat. "So I just wanted you to know that I'm giving it back to Steven." She cocked her head and smiled, lightly licking her lips. "I know you probably don't like me having it."

Fez shrugged. "Eh, it doesn't really bother me."

Her eyes followed him into the kitchen, and confusion heated her cheeks. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a soda, and she stumbled a few steps in that direction. "Wait, you don't care? It doesn't bother you?"

This was new. Something she was completely unprepared for. She was used to jealousy and suspicion. As a matter of fact, she liked jealousy. It had often been quite a useful tool, one of her most affective tricks in her considerably large bag.

Fez popped his soda open and smiled at her after taking a sip. "Nope."

She crossed her arms and glared. "Why not?"

"Because you told me there was nobody better for you than me, and…" His smile broadened. "Once you've had Fez, you never go back." He giggled, but when she didn't react, his smile faded. "You never told Hyde that, but you told me that. That means something." He moved to her and gave her a sweet kiss. "I know you are mine now, Jackie. And I am not like Hyde. I will not hurt you." He kissed her again, and then smiled. "Now. I have to go get you the flowers I promised I would, because I am a good boyfriend."

Jackie nodded, turning to watch her boyfriend as he strode confidently towards the front door. She should feel happy, content. Her boyfriend was promising her the world, it seemed; promising to never hurt her, to be a good boyfriend to her, promising her that she was his.

Instead, she stood still, frozen by a chilly listlessness that tightened her fingers into fists. All she'd ever known was jealousy and possessiveness. Passion that burned so hot it sometimes led to god-awful pain.

She closed her eyes for a moment. I just have to get used to it. It's a good thing, isn't it? Jealousy's a bad emotion. So what if Fez isn't jealous? It doesn't mean he doesn't love me or want me or would kill any guy for even looking at me funny. It just means he's more mature than Steven. I'll get used to it. And I'll love it.

Funny how her inner voice sounded a little bit weak.

"Oh, hey, wait a minute."

Jackie opened her eyes and looked at Fez, who was standing near the open door and frowning at her. Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe he was jealous. "Yeah?"

"Does this mean I have to give my Kelso box to Kelso?"

She shook her head, wanting to laugh, wanting to cry, wanting to throw a tantrum, wanting to curl up in a ball in the corner of her room, all for reasons she wasn't sure of. "No, Fez," she muttered, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"Good. I will be back soon, my sweet princess!"

After he left, after the door had been closed for about a minute, she slowly moved back to the couch. She looked in the box and picked up the picture of her and Steven again.

"You told me there was nobody better for you than me. You never told Hyde that, but you told me that."

She'd never told him. Never. So many things she'd told him, but never that.

And it was what he'd always needed to hear.

"God, Steven," she whispered, pinpoints of sadness prickling circles in her heart. She stared at his face in the picture. "I should have told you. I did feel that way."

She almost lost herself in the picture, in the past, but then remembered.

It was far too late. It was over.

She tossed the picture back in the box and shook her head. She threw her shoulders back and tossed her hair. She stared at the box that used to hold painful things that were now only, now could only be mildly bittersweet. "It's over, Steven."

Jackie took a deep breath and picked up the box.

Time to say goodbye to memories that had to lose their meaning, and quickly.

I Just Don't Want It Anymore

Twenty minutes later

As she expected, Steven was in the Forman basement, sitting on his usual chair, doing nothing with his life but drinking a beer and watching television. The predictability of it made her smile at him, though it was met with barely a flicker of his uncovered eyes towards her. She sighed, and placed the box down on the footstool in front of him that he wasn't using. "Here."

He scowled at her, probably because she was blocking his view of the t.v. "What's that?"

"It's a box of stuff that I collected when we were…" For some reason, her voice chose that moment to break. "When we were together."

He stood up. "Why are you giving it to me? 'Cause unless you're giving me the years I wasted with you back, I don't want it."

She ignored the bruise that remark left inside of her and gave him a haughty smile. "Because, Steven, I can't keep them anymore. It bothers Fez." She tossed her hair. "Oh yeah. He's incredibly jealous. He can't stand the thought of me with anyone else, even if it was in the past and the biggest mistake of my life."

Part of her hated herself, especially when his eyes, meeting hers without fear, dropped to the floor for the briefest of moments. She took a deep breath and softened her voice. "Look, I just…I can't keep them anymore. If you wanna get rid of it all, fine. I just…I can't…I can't do it." She cocked her head and gave him a small smile, the way she used to. "Please, Steven?"

He huffed in irritation. "Whatever."

Before, she'd have pranced up to him and kissed him, but that was out of the question now. It felt odd, incorrect, but instead of doing that, she just nodded and turned to walk towards the door.

"Jackie."

She turned, just as her hand caught the cold metal of the doorknob. Her fingers slipped off of it; he was holding the Led Zeppelin shirt and looking at her in confusion.

"You didn't mean to put this in there, did you?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Y-yeah, I did." His eyes locked on hers, and the furrow of his brow surprised her. Where was his Zen? "I uh…" Again, her voice broke. "I don't want it anymore."

He looked down, but then up again, right at her, and her heart stopped. For probably the first time, she saw naked hurt on his face.

"But…I gave it to you. I…I wanted you to have it."

Her fight to not remember the moment he gave it to her failed.

"It's my favorite one. You're with me now, so I want you to have it."

Her left hand rose, and her fingers curled tightly around the collar of her shirt. He sounded like a hurt little boy, and it hurt her. It was so odd for Steven, though she'd seen glimpses of it before. This time…this was different. Much more intense. Much more blatant. And it shriveled her. "I just…" Tears thickened her voice. "I just don't want it anymore, Steven."

What she wanted was to die. She always wanted to die when Steven hurt.

Just as quickly as his hurt appeared, it was gone. His eyes dulled and turned cold, his features limp and expressionless. "Whatever." He turned and walked over to the deep freeze, but didn't open it. Just stood there.

Jackie stared at his back, wishing she could find something to say, something to do. But she couldn't. She turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her. She didn't make it any further, because the tears in her chest erupted upwards. She covered her mouth and began to shake all over.

Why did it hurt so much? He'd hurt her countless times and hadn't given a damn. Why did she care? God, she was over him! He was nothing to her anymore!

The sound of something crashing inside made her jump, and without even so much as wiping her wet cheeks, she turned and walked back in. The lawn chair was upside down, and the box was too, its contents littered around the two on the floor. She looked at Steven, who stood near his chair. "Steven…" She couldn't breathe.

He must have thrown the box across the room.

"I uh…I tripped. Been partying a lot lately, so you know, my balance is off."

Jackie closed her eyes, unable to watch him leave, but every step he took up those stairs vibrated in her like kicks to her chest.

Try Something New

An hour later

Hyde sat on his cot, staring at the box on the floor and trying to shut everything off, his mind, his body, his god forsaken soul and the heart he cursed everyday for having. Damn her for reminding him that he did. She always did that, had always done that.

Without thinking, he reached out and picked up the shirt. He brought it to his nose, and a trace scent of laundry soap mixed with slight mustiness wafted into his system. She hadn't worn it for awhile, probably a long while. He shook his head and threw the shirt across the room.

Damn her. Damn her, damn her, DAMN HER!

He looked down and rubbed his temples with his fingers. He didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to feel so fucking lousy. God, it was a shirt, a lousy shirt. And a box full of stupid little trinkets. So what? So what if when he'd given her that shirt he'd been trying to tell her that he wanted her to be his, something he'd never told any other girl before or since. So what? He should be happy to have it back. It was his favorite. Hell, he probably would have asked for it back eventually.

He flopped back on his cot with a bitter smile. He wouldn't have. He hadn't even thought about it. In fact, he'd taken some weird sort of comfort in the fact that she still had it. As long as she still had it, there was a little bit of him still with her.

But she didn't want it anymore. She didn't want even that tiny piece of him anymore. He hated himself, because he knew that he'd let her see it. She'd seen that she hurt him. She was probably gloating to herself about it, too. Stupid bitch.

She never gave Kelso back that damn stuffed unicorn. Probably still has that on her bed. Guess she doesn't mind remembering him. After all, he only cheated on her. All I did was keep her alive.

His eyes closed, and he clenched his fists, as if that would ward off the burning in his chest.

"Damn it," he whispered, his eyes opening and focusing on the ceiling. "I just gotta…" He swallowed. "I gotta get over her." He punched both his fists hard into the bed beneath him. What in the hell had happened to him? Since when did he have to get over anyone, let alone a shallow, bitchy cheerleader who never knew when to shut up? When had he turned into this guy? Full of Forman-like wussiness?

He shot up, headed for the corner of the room, and dug around in the mess he kept there. Only one thing to do, and that was get as high as humanly possible. He pulled out a bag, but frowned when he opened it and found it empty. "Fuck!"

An hour later, Hyde had given up on tracking the sometimes less than reliable Leo down, and found himself with another source he had, a guy named Toad.

"Hey, man, you seem pretty worked up. Ya got problems? Chick problems? Man, I feel it. Chicks just suck."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just give me the stuff."

Toad smiled, his eyes, almost as beady as the animal he was nicknamed after, gleaming. "Hey, you ever tried coke?" Hyde arched an eyebrow at him, and Toad's smile broadened. "Yeah, man. Cocaine. You gotta try it. You think this stuff is good, man, coke'll blow your mind." He punched Hyde's shoulder lightly. "C'mon, man, try something new. I'm telling you, it's awesome."

"How much is it gonna cost me?"

"Tell ya what. I'll give you a little taste for free this time. 'Cause I know you'll come back for more."

Hyde shrugged. Maybe, maybe not. He'd never gotten into hardcore drugs. Pot had always done the trick before. Pot combined with beer, cigarettes, random sex, music, and burning his friends.

Nothing seemed to be working right now. And now he had that box, full of things…painful things. He didn't like pain. Didn't like to feel at all. Damn it, that's why she gave him the box! To try and make him feel the way she always had to do.

Not anymore. He wasn't going to let her, no matter what it took.