Disclaimer: I don't own.
Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I love reviews. Hee hee. Anyway, I'm taking a brief hiatus from this and from Frames. Brief. I'm working on a story for a fanfic contest and I want to focus on it. I WILL be back to this and Frames as soon as I have that one finished. So I hope you won't forget them:) You guys are great. And patient. I hope I haven't left this in a too horrible place.
Warning: Language
For Her Sake
Chapter 7 - Gonna Wish You Hadn't
Doing Something For Myself
March 18, 1980, 11:30 pm
It was gone. Jackie stared at her desk, as if the power of her gaze would change what she was seeing. The gleaming shine of the white wood desktop mocked her; she could see her own reflection in it. And she shouldn't be able to. It should be hidden by the college application she'd spent so long working on and perfecting. She ran her fingers over the bare desktop. "I swear I left it here," she muttered. She turned her head and scanned the room. Her body followed; she quickly walked each inch of the room, hunting below her bed, under her bedcovers, in every drawer she had, in each nook in her closet.
Finally, her breathing harsh, her chest swollen because of how fast and hard her heart was beating, she returned to the desk. "I know I left it here." Tears filled her eyes and she closed them. She'd worked so hard on it, and now it was gone. "Damn it, how could I…"
And then she remembered. Fez had come into her room to get her sweater. Had he seen it? Had he done something with it? She opened her eyes into a glare. If he had, he was gonna wish he hadn't. Her body shivered, fists clenched, and fury propelled her forward, out of her room and to his.
Without knocking, she opened the door. Fez, his shirt off, sat on his bed brushing his hair, and his initial look of surprise in his eyes almost instantly turned to perversion. "Ahhh, my goddess." He stood and flexed slightly. "Have you come to watch me take care of my needs?" His eyes widened. "Or maybe to finally take care of them for me?"
Jackie tried to breath, tried to keep calm, but the churning in her middle wouldn't allow her to keep the anger out of her voice. "Did you take anything from my room, Fez?" She glanced around the room, and noticed papers lying on the dresser behind him. Busted.
Fez smiled weakly. "What? Of course I didn't take anything from your room. Well, except I did take a few pairs of your panties. But that was months ago." He began to slowly back up towards the dresser, his eyes darting from hers to the floor, a uncertain grin curving his lips.
She rushed forward and pushed him out of the way. Grabbing the papers, her eyes skimmed them. Yep. Her college application. "Then what are these, Fez?" She turned to him and held up the papers.
He smiled nervously. "Oh, how did those get in here? It must have been Fenton. He must have...oh, what in the hell am I saying. Yes, I took them." His face darkened, his eyes tensed into a glare, and he pointed at Jackie. "I am not the one who's wrong here. You are! You are planning on leaving me!"
Jackie sighed. "Look, Fez, I was going to talk to you about this…"
"I don't care! You're planning on leaving me!" He paced over to the door and began turning the doorknob, over and over.
She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. "Fez, did you ever think that maybe I was gonna ask you to come with me?" It was a lie; she hadn't thought that far ahead. But she'd found that a well placed lie could usually appease a worked up boyfriend. Well, any boyfriend other than Steven, who somehow never bought into her tiny falsehoods.
"That would mean I would have to give up beauty school and the salon." Fez turned back to her.
"So I have to give up college?" She crossed her arms, half in anger, half in pride. God, Donna has really rubbed off on me. The thought almost made her smile. Maybe it's not so bad.
He took a few steps towards her, his eyes wide and doleful, almost like a doe's. "I just want you to stay here with me, Jackie. I told you that soon I will be able to take care of you."
"Look, Fez." She uncrossed her arms and went to him, taking his hands and speaking as gently as she could. "For the first time in my life I'm doing something for myself. I really want to go to college. Can't you understand that?" Fez pulled away, and she rolled her eyes. Damn him for being so hardheaded! She watched him as he walked in circles that grew larger and larger.
"No! You never wanted to go to college before! Why now? Is it because I am not enough for you?" He whirled to face her. "That's it, isn't it? You lied when you said there was no one better for you than me!"
"It's not that, Fez!" She turned from him and walked over to the window. For the first time, she saw more than just the immediate outside, the parking lot full of various colored cars, the street and houses beyond. She saw new buildings, new streets, new people, new places and new options. "I just don't want to spend the rest of my life sweeping up hair."
"You will not have to! I will take care of you! You won't have to do anything but shop!" He paused and smiled. "Oh, and have sex with me."
She closed her eyes. The more she heard that, from Fez, from her father, the sicker it made her. So weird, since she'd always thought that's what she wanted to hear. That is, until Steven. Until he'd made her think that maybe, just maybe, she could be something more than a spoiled little rich girl with a man to support her. "I don't want you to have to take care of me. And I want to do more than shop. I want to have something of my own. Like my tv show. That was my own. I want that again."
It took her by surprise, but her own words seemed to come from deep in her, from a place she'd only recently rediscovered. She'd felt this way with Steven, and when she'd had her tv show. And then she'd lost the feeling when she lost Steven and her show in one fell swoop.
But Steven still believed in her, despite all the hurt between them. Maybe she could still have that feeling even without him.
Fez approached her and put his hands on her shoulders. She shivered when he began speaking softly near her ear.
"This is not like you, Jackie. You always said all you needed was a man to take care of you. You were willing to give up your chance in Chicago for Hyde. Why will you not give up college for me?"
She turned and looked at him, her eyes now filling with tears. "Do you remember where that got me, Fez?" He nodded. "Yeah, that's not going to happen again. I want more, okay?" She pulled away from him and walked across the room, turning at the end of her pace to look at him. "I've changed. You've never asked me about what I want out of life, do you know that? You just assumed. Everyone just assumes I'm always gonna be the same stuck up, bitchy cheerleader. But I want more." She took a deep breath. "And if you can't try to understand and support me…" Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Well, then I just don't know what we're gonna do."
They stared at one another, and the silence hung in the air like a low-riding, dark storm cloud.
Until Fez broke, his eyes darkening with thunder.
"Oh, I know what I'm going to do, Jacqueline." He strode towards her, two huge steps, and reached forward.
It seemed to Jackie to happen in slow motion; Fez's hand coming towards her, the papers slipping from her fingers into his, his hands moving, one up, one down, the papers tearing into two halves.
The shredding sound left her shaking and feeling as if she were one heave away from throwing up.
"Oh…god no…" She wanted to rush forward and kick him on the shin the way she'd done so often to punish Steven. But it didn't seem enough, and even if it did, she couldn't make her body move towards him. Backing away was the only option. She shook her head, her eyes and cheeks flaming. "You're gonna wish you hadn't done that Fez." She turned and headed for the door, for anywhere but here.
His voice followed her.
"What, are you going to cut me off? You can't! You refuse to sleep with me! What kind of girlfriend are you?"
She slammed her bedroom door and threw herself down on her bed, her face on the pillow that was rapidly soaking her tears.
Why was it so hard for him to understand?
Done With This
March 19, 1:30 am
"Hey, Hyde!"
Hyde looked to his left and saw, amongst the partiers, Mackey. He nodded his head, and Mackey waved him over. With a sigh, and a shoulder shrug to Toad standing next to him, he headed over. "What's up?"
"Come with me."
Hyde rolled his eyes, but followed Mackie down the hall of the strange house and out a back door. They continued off a deck, through the back yard and into a rather dark and secluded spot under a huge willow tree. Only slight and thin light fluttered to the spot from the back porch light, and Hyde had to squint in order to see the people he was with, Mackie, Toad and some other dude he recognized as one of Mackey's flunkies.
"So." Mackey crossed his arms. "Haven't seen you around much lately, Hyde."
Hyde shrugged and pulled a cigarette and his lighter out of is pocket. He lit up and took a drag. "Been busy."
Mackey nodded. "You ain't double crossing me, are you?" He smiled. "I don't much like being double crossed."
Hyde shook his head. "Nah. Just got other things going on, man. You know how it is." He grinned. "Chicks. Tons of 'em."
Right. More like one chick who wasn't his. The whole "friend" thing was annoying the crap out of him. Especially since she always managed to get him alone, and when she did, it felt almost like it used to. Almost.
"Sure. Now look. I got a job for you. I've decided that I wanna go in a new direction. Cultivate new clientele." Mackey looked at the flunkey, and the two exchanged smirks. "Develop loyal customers early." He looked back at Hyde. "And since you've got so much…what did you say a few weeks ago? Natural charm?" He raised an eyebrow. "Well, this'll be perfect for you. You need to start hitting the schools. High school, junior high, elementary." He chuckled. "Hell, you can go to pre-school if you want."
Hyde stared at Mackey, nearly forgetting to pull the cigarette out of his mouth. Schools? Selling to adults was one thing. College kids, even. But high school…that left him feeling a little funny, and junior and elementary school? That thought turned the pleasure of the nicotine into a hot stream of nausea.
Sell cocaine to little kids? He couldn't. He just couldn't. It was just too depraved…even for a dirty burnout like him.
For the record, there's more to you than just a dirty burnout. I'll always believe that.
Lately, whenever he was about to sell, her shrill voice sounded in his ears, her girly handwriting invaded the screens behind his eyes. He'd lost a few sales because of her. And actually, it had felt good.
He cleared his throat and tossed the unfinished cigarette away. "Yeah, that's not something I'm gonna do. In fact, I'm not gonna do anything anymore."
She'd be happy. She'd be proud. If she knew.
Mackey didn't move. "What exactly does that mean, Hyde?"
"It means," Hyde said, taking a step towards his soon to be ex-supplier. "I'm done with this. Go cultivate your clientele yourself. Or have him do it." He gestured to the flunky at Mackey's side and grinned. "He looks like he'd be up to it."
Turning around and walking away, all the while feeling the weight of Mackey's eyes on him, Hyde smiled.
That felt good. He chuckled to himself on his way out of the party. Time to head home, crack open a cold beer, watch a little late night tv, and hit the sack.
Yep. It felt good. Or at least better.
Get Someone On Him
Mackey stared angrily at the departing Hyde for a moment, then turned a fiery gaze to Toad. He pointed. "You'd better fix this, Toad. You better get that asshole to change his mind. I am NOT losing any money to him."
Toad nodded nervously. "Yeah, man, I will. He's just…I think some chick's gotten to him. I'll talk to him."
The supplier nodded. "You better." He reached out and gave a not so gentle shove to Toad's shoulder. "Get going."
Toad scurried off, and Markey turned to his right hand man. "Before you say I told you so, fine, you told me so." He shook his head. "Damn it, I should never have trusted him." He sighed and looked at Adams, poking him in the chest. "Get someone on him. I wanna know exactly what he's up to. I wanna know if he's branching out on his own, and if I'm gonna have to fix this myself."
Adams nodded. "I'm on it."
Tattletale
"What are you doing here, Fez?" Jackie stood in the doorway of her father's home office, stunned to see her boyfriend sitting in one of his fancy leather chairs. He was even sipping from a glass of liquor. She was somewhat surprised her father hadn't offered him one of those stinky cigars he enjoyed so much.
Jack stood up and slipped around his desk, approaching her. "Your boyfriend was filling me in on decisions you've been making lately, without talking to me. Now. What is this about you applying to college?"
"I want to go, Daddy." She raised her chin in response to the disdainful voice. He, in turn, rolled his eyes in a way she recognized well.
"Jacqueline, you don't need college." A wave of his hand, and he turned to return to his desk.
She straightened her shoulders, standing tall, feeling stronger, almost as if she'd physically grown inches. "Yes, I do!" She glared and pointed at Fez. "And you! I can't believe you told my father on me!You're just a…just a…" She shook her head furiously as the heat stung her cheeks, as light moisture seeped the edges of her eyes, searching deep down for the perfect words to put him in his place. "You're just a tattletale!"
Yeah, those would do it.
"I was worried, Jacqueline! This is so unlike you!" Fez leaned forward on his seat and reached for her hand. She pulled away from him.
"It is unlike you, Jackie. You have never wanted to go to college." Jack picked up a Cross pen from his desk and began twirling it as he looked at his daughter. It felt to Jackie as if he were sizing her up, like she wasn't his daughter but a person he did business with. And the height, the strength she'd just gained shriveled. "Besides, sweetheart, I just can't stand the thought of my little girl leaving me."
She stood stiff, couldn't even shake her head, couldn't roll her eyes, could only stare at the man who'd helped create her. "Maybe I have, Dad. Maybe you've never noticed." She looked at Fez. "Neither of you have ever noticed. Besides, even if I didn't want to go before, I do now. Why can't you understand that?" A floodgate opened in her, spilling forth a gushing anger that forced her body into movement. She walked quickly over the beautiful, colorful Oriental rug, back and forth, meeting none of the eyes she felt trailing her. "Why can't you see that I'm capable of being more than what you want me to be?" She stopped, and pointed with a shaking index finger at Fez, then her father. "You want me to be your gorgeous goddess, and you want me to be your perfect little girl. Well, guess what? I'm not just a goddess and I'm not a little girl!"
"Jackie, you're being ridiculous." Jack slammed the pen down on the table.
"Yes, Jackie, this is a side of you I do not like very much. And I very much like all sides of you, if you know what I mean." Fez's grin quickly fell when he looked at Jack. "Oh…I should be quiet now."
"Why am I being ridiculous? You know what, I'm leaving. I'm going to college." Jackie turned on her heel and headed for the door.
I've had enough of this shit. Enough for the rest of my life.
"I can't afford it, Jackie. You know that."
"I'll get scholarships, or student loans." She stopped at the door and turned back to her father, who was looking at her with anger, a look she used to dread. A look no little girl wanted to see on her daddy's face. But like she'd just told him, she was no longer a little girl. No longer his little princess. And he wasn't going to bully her, or control her. He had no right to. Not after the way he'd "raised" her.
Jack's voice softened from the near desperate yell it had reached, and he sat back down. Another tactic. "You're not going to like college, Jackie. You're not going to enjoy being away from everyone who cares about you. It just doesn't suit you."
She smiled bitterly. "You mean you don't think I can handle it. Well, guess what? I think I can. And Steven thinks I can. He believes in me, unlike either of you. And maybe that's enough for me."
"Wait a damn second, Jacqueline. Is that…hoodlum back in your life?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She smirked at her father, smirked at Fez, and executed a perfect flounce out of the office.
Watch Him…and Her
Jack Hyde sat at his desk, tapping his fingers quickly rapidly on his desk and speaking into the phone his fist was clenched around. How had this happened? How had his hold on his daughter, his influence on her, her love for him, slipped away from him? How had she become so misguided?
Steven Hyde. That's how. That dirty little bastard.
"Steven Hyde is back in my daughter's life, and I need to know how much. I want you to get on it. Watch him, and her. I want to know every detail about any interactions they share. Why? Because I want to be sure before I take the next step. I don't do anything that drastic unless I have." He sighed and looked to his left, out the window. And rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, she's seeing some foreign kid. A real kiss ass. He's the one who told me. Some creepy and perverted foreigner." He smiled slightly. "I'm going to get rid of him soon enough, but right now he's useful. I'll worry about Fez after we've taken care of that bastard Steven Hyde."
He hung up the phone and turned his chair towards the window. Somewhere out there, Steven Hyde was probably pretty damn proud of himself for sliming into Jackie's life again. Probably thinking he'd gotten one over.
A small chuckled escaped his lips. "He's going to wish he'd never met my beautiful princess. Or involved himself with her. Or broken her heart." He lifted his pen to his lips, and his smile broadened. "He's definitely going to wish he'd never done that."
