Yay, out of school at last, so more chappies should be coming fast and furiously now!
Hope you enjoy this one, I will start to expound on what caused Numair to do what he did. In the mean time, bring on the romance!!
WC
As so often in the past few months, Numair sat slumped against a wall with his head in his hands. Only this time, it was not the wall of his bedroom, but they wall outside her infirmary room. The room where his Daine lay, hurt inside and out because of his cowardice.
Leaving for Carthak in the fall, his heart had been heavy knowing that he had caused her pain, especially for such an idiotic, thoughtless reason. But he had also known that when he came back, he could apologize and he could make things right between them. Over those four weeks, his way of thinking had changed dramatically.
He sat alone in his suite in the imperial palace after a meeting with Kaddar and some foreign emissaries, when a letter was slid under the door. Numair crossed languidly to the door, and swung it open to peer out into the hallway. Nobody was there. Puzzled, he bent to pick up the letter, which he slit open with a thumb and started to read.
When Numair finished reading, he had to sit on the bed to control himself. The fire in the hearth was already spitting dangerously. He closed his eyes to fight the anger, and only stopped shaking with emotion when he pictured Daine before him. Daine! Who knew if these people would stop at hurting her as well?
By the time Numair blew out the candle on his bedside table, dawn was breaking over the city and he had resolved himself to what must be done. When he got home, he would make Daine believe he did not love her at any cost. It would break both their hearts, but it would keep her safe. It had to keep her safe.
Now he reflected on this decision, and wondered what he could possibly have been thinking. He had broken her heart, and then failed even to foresee a brutal attack which could have kept her from him forever. She would never forgive him.
On the other side of the wall, Alanna gently rocked Numair's love in her arms. After a while, Daine had cried herself out, and lay back on her pillows.
"Do you need me to get you anything, hon?" For a lioness, Alanna was surprisingly gentle. But Daine needed to be by herself for a while.
"Alanna, I'm so sorry about that. But I guess I'm a little tired now. Would you mind...?"
"Sure, you just relax. It's good to have you back, Daine," Alanna left, brushing past the man still slumped in the hallway without a word. On her cot, Daine squeezed her eyes shut. Seeing him again had been a shock, and she had overreacted. But the look on his face had shattered any part of her heart that was still whole. Was it possible that she still felt something for him...? Or, even more unlikely, that he felt something for her?
Then a thought came - but was she strong enough? She summoned her resolve. She had been asleep for almost a week. Now was as good a time as any.
"Numair," she called weakly. Outside in the hall, his heart fluttered in his chest. Could she truly be calling for him? He stood and tapped gently on the door, afraid he had misheard.
"Did you want me, sweet?" A soft acknowledgment from inside almost brought tears to his eyes, and he swung the door open with a mixture of emotions swirling uncomfortably in his chest. She lay there on the cot, so serene, so weak, so beautiful. Seeing her that way may his protective instincts flare, and he cursed himself for what he had done to her.
Daine's heart leapt at the sight of him, but the icy lump in her chest that was all those months of pain did not thaw. Instead, she gazed at him for a long moment, and he met her eyes with all the love that he felt. Finally, she broke the silence, "Why did you want my forgiveness, when you don't even love me?" Her words surprised him. Then he saw with a start what he had taken for granted before. She didn't know he still loved her, she still believed what he had told her all that time ago. How had he failed to tell her immediately after she woke up, how had he failed to ease her pain a little? Another foolish mistake was on his shoulders. He came to her, and fell to his knees beside the cot.
"Daine, listen to me. I can never ask you to forgive me, only to know that what I did I believed would keep you from danger. I played into their hands, but only because I could not hide my feelings for you. Daine, when I said I didn't love you, I lied. I have, do, and always will love you. Daine, I'm like a fish that can't live without water, and I can't believe I almost lost you, because you're my ocean." He voice broke now, and he buried his head in her lap to hide the tears which she wouldn't have seen anyway, because her own eyes were overflowing. She knotted her fingers in his long hair as his arms encircled her waist. When she finally spoke, it was not to forgive or to comfort, but simply to state a fact which she knew she could never change.
"I love you too, Numair."
